Grumblings

I've just watched a 42 year old man race down a slippery slope on a tin tray at a thousand miles an hour.  Not only this but he was lying on his back, feet first, all the way!  There were great celebrations at the bottom, was this because he survived I wonder?  The commentator is getting very excited about all this, they usually do, and while a group of thickly clad men jump around emitting screams every now and then I find myself asking,"Was it worth four years of struggle for this?"  Mind you it makes more sense than the dancing on ice, what on earth makes them think that is 'sport?'  I think it's a form of suicide myself.  Football for me, on grass, not ice!  

This is a painting someone wishes to purchase for £40 million!  This is a Francis Bacon 'portrait' of a boyfriend called George Dyer.  Bacon was of course a confused, mixed up individual famous for producing a canvas of confused and distorted works which obviously led him to fame in the art world. Talent is less important there than fame!  This er, picture, was sold for £4 million once before, was sold on for over £7 million to the Mexican who owns it now and is expected to fetch £40 million, probably from some daft Russian oligarch laundering Putin's money.  The art world, like the fashion world, is one great hoax in which people with too much cash, sometimes their own, squander it on rubbish art and pontificate on its importance.  I have news for them, it ain't important.  A mess of oils is worthless, just as female outfits designed by strange and famous men are worthless.  Outside in the real world a life is available, and art and fashion play a part there, come and join us. To some extent Thatcher is to blame here, closing the psychiatric hospitals has not helped this artist, and indeed many similar others.   

     

At an auction in Edinburgh a wealthy American announced that he had lost his wallet containing £10,000 and would give a reward of £100 to the person who found it.

From the back of the hall a locals voice shouted, "I'll give £150!"

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A  plane was shot down over Iraq and Saddam Hussain captured a Scotsman,an Englishman and an Australian. Saddam says "I'm not as cruel as George Bush says I am You will be given 50 lashes each but you can have whatever you want on your back"

The Australian goes first and asks for the finest Kangaroo hide there is to cover his back. This is granted and he receives the kangaroo hide before he receives 50 lashes. His back is all torn and bleeding but he survives.

The Englishman says "I will take it as it comes I will have nothing on my back and will be proud to bear the scars" he shouts defiantly"Stiff upper lip you know eh what" His wish is granted and he receives his 50 lashes, his back torn and bleeding, his ribs fractured and protruding, a terrible mess to behold.

"Now Jock It's your turn you have the same choice as the other two what would you like on your back" says Saddam. 

Jock replies quickly and without hesitation "I'll have the Englishman"

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Making wool for kilts.

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