Phoning AI

I had another tech problem today.

Logging in on the website I was asked for the phone number.  

The number listed was the old phone number, so this must change.  

To change number I must call in.

I hate phone calls.

I called in on the free number.

A voice answered.

An AI voice.

The pleasant but firm and authorative AI voice asked the question.

I gave the answer.

"You could go to the website and log in and we can send you a pin number..."

"I want to amend my phone number."

Again AI murmured, waffling away from what I was saying.

"I want to talk to a human being!" I remarked.

"I will pass you on to one of my colleagues."

Bring.

"If you wish this answer, press one, if you wish another answer, press two."

Grrrrrr

How can I press two when my phone is already engaged talking to you, thought I.  

Suddenly a human being answered.

Phew.

I explained the situation to the gentle voiced, possibly African of some sort, gentleman.

He slowly and efficiently took me through the procedure required, informing me he was in the Glasgow office.  He was very good, soon we were at the stage of being shunted onto another. 

I feared another AI.

A voice answered, similar but different accent.  He asked one question, I answered.

He asked the new phone number, he responded with, "All done, you can now log on."

He was right!

How easy when talking to a human, even one on low wages. 

How useless are AI when they can only respond to certain questions and cannot think!

You could employ a Reform voter if you wanted unthinking responses, and for cheaper at that.

However, the men made it work.  

All is now well, though I do wonder about my bad temper these days.

Kemi & Tech

 

Another day of joy with tech.

I signed in to TNT the other day, I watched the football, and today I signed in again and was told 'NO GO!'  I requested a password prompt, the answer did not arrive at my email. 

I went onto the 'Contact Us' page.  Here I found AI at it's best.  

Eventually AI offered to transfer me to a human...nothing happened after long enough so I gave up.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr again.

Possibly Saturday is not the best tome to contact this lot.

I will try again on Monday.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr etc...

Yet another failing individual has taken the role as Leader of the Conservative Party.  She received more votes than the somewhat unstable Jenrick however, at least a third of the Party did not vote.  That says something.  

She is black, female, and so far that is all the media have said about her.  The fact is we know enough and most of us are wondering why the Labour Party has not come out and thanked her for giving them another 5 years in office.  

Another one with little sense of care for others, looks to the far right for support, cares more about Farage than what is required, and on Wednesday will be put in her place by the clammy Keir Starmer.

Not much for us in this appointment, just the prospect of another Conservative Party leadership bid soon.

Tech Pain

And another thing about tech merchandise, they are constantly telling you what to do, asking if you need help  when you don't, and just getting in the way!

I pick up the mobile and at the bottom of the screen it jumps up and says 'Try saying 'Cleopatra in Egypt.''

Why?

What do I want to day anything for to a machine?

Or it jumps up offering help.  

Why?

What help on here do I require?

On emails I receive a long list of answers is given for me to select.

Can I not think of an answer by myself?

Are the geeks who come up with this stuff so inept they cannot think of answers so need prepared ones?

These things are on the laptop also.

They are everywhere 'helping' by doing your thinking incorrectly for you.

As if I need help making mistakes?

On the trip on Sunday the driver commentated on how his car tells him his door is open, his seat belt not pushed in, or how close he is to the car behind.  

Can he not see these things for himself?

People have been driving for over a hundred years yet require a computer to tell them the obvious!

Granted some things can have their uses, no, I cannot think of any either.

I've taken to coffee in the mornings, sometimes this works and I wake up.  Sainsburys have taken to offering a variety of coffees at ludicrous high prices, even this type, their own brand stuff is overpriced, but I prefer the others on sale.  Last time I tried own brand coffee, Tesco I think, it was so strong it kept my eyes open for days.  Maybe I am getting used to this stuff but the result is very mild here? 

Ethiopian Coffee, Ethiopia being where coffee first arose, Columbian , and elsewhere can be bought.  However, the Costa Rica version has been removed and shows no sign of returning.  This is a shame as I think that was one of the best.  If I remember right the other bag in the cupboard is some form of Kenyan coffee, and I am not sure if I tried this before.     

I think I may require some of that Tesco coffee again if I fail to wake properly in the mornings.

I Hate Technology!

I hate tech!

I may not have mentioned this before, but I hate technology!  Especially today's modern technology.  You know, the stuff that makes life easier, quicker, and smarter, and doesn't!

The colour toner runs out, I insert a new troublingly expensive colour toner, reset everything, insert proper cables, click on the letter with colour pics I was scribbling for the niece, and start to print!

Nothing happened.

I reinsert the colour toner, it goes through the rigmarole again, and settles down.

Click to print.

Nothing happened.  

More fiddling, more clicking, more nothing happening.

Bah!

I walk off through to the west wing.

I fume, I cogitate, I mutter to myself.

Then I hear the printer printing!

Several items are printed, one after the other.

Hooray!

Hold on.  They only print, faintly in Black and White, where is the colour?

Now I also realise the Black is almost out.

A search has to be made 0 for B&W toner, and see what happens.

Ha!  Found one in the never used drawer.

Quick fight with the wrapper, clearly this one fell out of a 2-pack earlier, and ready to insert.

Hold on!

This is a colour one!

Fool!

So, it is reach for the 2-pack at the back of said drawer, open the plastic wrapping, using a rusty 'Stanley knife,' fight with the carboard box that does not wish to open, then struggle to open the wrapper around the B&W toner, well Black actually, and then prepare to insert.

Finally, after strong coffee, new rude words, and a minor migraine all is set.

Printer runs through proper sequence and all is ready.

Test print, set it up, click print and wait.

And wait, and wait, and hit 'resume' hopefully, and wait.

Switch printer off, resume rude words.

Switch back on, wait, press resume, and it works!

Fabulous, it prints in faint Black only!

Bah!

Now, urgently, and not too gently, remove colour toner recently inserted, insert, once it is out the wrappings, new colour toner, also dated May 2021, slam shut door, allow sequence to run, click print on test print, and , glory be, a colour printed sheet comes out!

Over an hour has been spent on this!  Is this old, new toner bust?  I know not, I dump it angrily, switch it all off and will search for reasons of failure later.  

Is it too early for a dram...?

Like me, you may not have bothered re the solar eclipse passing over us yesterday, but many people did.  Lots of space taken up with comment on this, possibly the media trying to avoid mentioning other proper news, yet lots of folks did want to see this rare event.

It did not pass over our territory, though I do remember a proper eclipse some 20 or so years ago being not as exciting as folks made out.  This time of course no-one here bothered.  

Such events are worth noting, especially if young, and the more the merrier I say, but there again, once you have seen one it is time to seek other pleasures. 

Technology Struggle

Something coming into the building, but what?

What is this rubbish you ask?  Well I have spent time today taking photographs of the phone lines coming into the house, and trying to work out where they go.   This because the Landlord must apply to the council for permission for me to have an improved 'Full Fibre' ISP installed.  Being a Grade II listed building this is the lawful way.  However, this may take 6 weeks to come through!  I sit here gnashing my teeth, or what is left of them.  

The landlord has decided to enquire of the others if they too seek such a service, and may do something about it, next week perhaps.  In the meantime she needs to know who has what, how many things have been installed without permission, obviously by a previous tenant, and what can the council planning people say?  

So, in the rain, I fulfilled my duty, leaving my aging jacket stinking and requiring cleaning - some day.

To encourage my good feelings my laptop then started playing up.  Going slow, offering things I did not want, not working, and not closing down either!

I vented my spleen and finally got it to switch off by pressing the start button, more regular methods not working.  I got it back on, cleaned up/upgraded where I could, and now all appears tolerable.

Did I mention I hate technology?

 

Tech!

 

This is Fishing boats off Leith, possibly 'Zulu's.'

 

My love of technology increases daily.  The 'Dell' is now hesitating to respond to my delicate touch, this means several attempts today to get the blessed thing to actually do what it is there for.  Of course the router is not breaking down this week, it just will not go above a speed of 24.  

So, I glanced at prices for new laptops, just in case, and decided there was no rush.  The ones I consider useful range between £7-£900 and this means they can wait for a bit.  Slowly my mind will work out how little I need such a machine and will soon find me something much cheaper.  

My love of technology was not increased when I attempted to get the mobile working.  Several attempts were required before switching off and starting again.  I will not begin searching out prices for the new ones...

Tech Hate

I survived this mornings fight with the Sainsburys self-service machine, only twice having to ask the young lady to fix it for me.  The man next to me had no bother at all, I will have to use that machine next time!   Grrrrrrrr.

This ought to have been no surprise to me, technology has been giving me a bad time recently.  The router keeps switching itself off, when it returns the speed has gone from 55 to much less.  As it keeps happening each time it returns the speed comes back slower, 48 to 32, to 27 to 14!!!

The air is somewhat blue around here.

I think, as the land line phone is somewhat scratchy, I may need to call in an engineer to fail to put it right.  As we speak the speed is a mere 24, good enough for routine things but not good for things that require a lot of resources such as facebook or the football websites.  

There again Ancestry is giving me gip!  I tried to insert a 'tree,' and it is so complicated, the instructions not clear enough for an ageing eejit, and it took several attempts before I began to understand what I was doing.  Several attempts at deleting things also!

Even worse, last night I lost my mobile.  I then spent some considerable time seeking the brute until finding it in my discarded trouser pocket!   

I hate technology!

Smarmy Sunak took another step into incompetence the other day, betting £1000 with Piers Morgan that asylum seekers would be on the plane to Rwanda before the election.  Has any Prime Minister been more galling than this one?  Even Boris would not have fallen for Morgan ruse.  To think, this man has his finger on the nuclear button!

Ancestry and Nicola

Another month has raced by, I did not really notice it as it passed by so quickly.

Another day spent trawling other people's findings on Ancestry to enable me to speed up the search for my friends family.  All very interesting, but so much information is missing.  However, I am back to 1777 which, some of you will remember, was a good year with the English army being defeated by the American rebels.  No tea was hurt in the making of these battles.

This family had a hard life at all times.  Mostly agricultural labourers, with some losing several children before they were 10.  Not unusual for the time however, losing a 5 year old and a 7 year old six months later must have taken a toll.

So I slogged away at this, quite warm as the laundry was drying on the heaters, and gave up before my head exploded.  Almost immediately an e-mail arrived with info regarding the Great War memorial.  A wee bit confused so that will be the task tomorrow, my mind has stopped now.

Not a fan of the ex-First Minister, however, from what I have seen of the Covid Inquiry yesterday there was little attempt to uncover facts, just unmitigated assault on a woman they all fear.  Both Alex Salmon and Nicola Sturgeon are powerful politicians, and Westminster fears them.  They know either could enable Scotland to lose its colonial position, a move that would weaken England greatly, so all media was brought to bear on Nicola.  

The English fear and loathe her because of their fear.  I was dropped from one 'Daily Mail' column because people disliked my support for her stance.  Tee Hee, how they hate easily.  The imperialist English cannot cope with Scots putting them in their place, and you can bet there is much more of this to come soon.

    My router keeps failing so I may find myself in this position sometime soon...

 

Monday Moan

 

I took this poor picture on Sunday morning as I limped down the road.  The sun was shining, the sky blue, and so were the faces of all who passed by as the wind blew cold from the north.  This morning, as is weather round here, the rain has not stopped.  

Typical innit?

Typical also is the web!

My best looking and most highly intelligent niece sent me a link to obtain a toy lorry for her sons Christmas.  This I obediently followed, only to be told to 'sign in,' 'register,' 'select a name,' 'Not that one, nor that one, nor that one... until I eventually got it in.

Then came the paying.  This involved a phone number, 'Not accepted,' other number, 'Not accepted,' several versions of both later, through gritted teeth, I ignored it, paid, and it went through!

A day or two later an acknowledgement that the goods have been sent tells me 'Evri' have the goods at their Hub.  This may take some time!

Add to this the way my machine blanks when I have more than one browser up.  That is I begin to write this on 'Edge,' because it has a much needed spellchecker, but when I search for something on Firefox the screen goes blank.  I was going to change to one of those high speed Fibre brands but the paperwork confused me so I did not bother.  maybe I ought to look again, but the problems will return.

Monday Moping

 

Every time I log on at the moment I get an extra browser page.  Microsoft offering me an expensive and unwanted 'Outlook' when I already have similar and find I do not require most of what is there now.

'AdBlockPlus' tell me they have updated and I can contribute on this page.  I like this, and sometimes contribute when I can.  It is a good way to block ads on laptops.  This does not work on mobile phones unfortunately.  'Mozilla' itself logs on to tell me the name is changing from 'Firefox.'  They also tell me how to stop their ads appearing, which is good.  'Open Source' is always good.

The problem with all this is that the new additions are always larger than previous.  This means when operating sometimes things clash, and dead screens appear.  Facebook is appalling for having too much space, mostly for things I do not want, or to grab all my information.  

It also becomes a problem when the numpty working the laptop does not know what he is doing.   

This is a position I have often found myself in.  I am becoming confused between different log-on's. This is because many are the same colour and I canny change them.  So , I click the blue one just to unclick it and click the other blue one over there.  Why can there not be more variety in the colours?  Bah!  

The cables do not help.  I have several black cables, and I had to try them all before I found the right one, the one already in the laptop, to fill the battery of the Kindle.  I have them all hanging from the tree beside me now.  I may join them if this continues!

So it goes on.  Artillery from the border, bombs from aircraft, rockets from far off.  Around 5000 dead in Gaza, all terrorists I expect, and a couple of thousand dead in Israel itself.  Over 300 soldiers apparently included.

So what do we do?

Has God returned the Jews to the land he gave them?  Are Palestinians living out an age old enmity with God?  What about the Christian ones among them?  The third oldest known church has been hit by Israel, erected around 425 AD, yet not safe, many killed.  

If the land invasion goes ahead thousands will die, including the Israeli armed forces.  Iran may attempt to get involved via proxy.  Others by negotiation.  The whole thing is a mess.  

What should we do?

Trump, Tech and Spring!

Once Joe managed to get his aged head in the White House it was hoped the end would come for the fat, orange blob.  However, in spite of insurrection, rape allegations, court decisions and obvious mental health problems, Trump once again heads the count for the Republicans as Presidential candidate.  We think the UK parliament is in a mess?  

How does a man who supports the Russians in Ukraine, use and abuse women so openly, talk like a 14 year old taking his first drugs, and lie so obviously retain this position?  Uncle Joe is no hero and some of his statements are somewhat dubious, but with a choice between a semi dementia man with some decency, and a Nut Job who considers, and probably believes, that the world is there for him and him alone, which would you choose?  Joe would not lead the US into a war, against the Ukraine, Trump might!  Trump, with the monetary understanding of Liz Truss, could demolish the worlds economy in less than her 43 days.  Yet, many US citizens will vote for him!

The west has been morally degraded by the policies of great wealth and false liberalism.  The 'Stonewall' type freedoms have deluded many, the creation of wealth and the removal of that wealth has left many distressed, and Covid did play its part here.  It is interesting how immoral governments and economic distress go together.  The stability built up since 1945 has been gradually eroded.  The west has nothing to hold it together now.   And a return of both Trump and Johnson is on the cards.

Sleep well.

In the real world Spring has produced a lively concoction for the wee beasties.  Buttercups and these white things that I can never recall the name off, these abound round the park.  Yesterday, my body failed to make Kirk, so I wondered across the park enjoying the greenery.  The council cut down the dead daffodils and allow the space to be filled with all this beastie attracting growth.  They do manage it well, and this replaces the areas killed off by front gardens being turned into car parks.  No wonder the number of sparrows is diminishing.  

I love technology, I really do!

I love how technology enables my laptop to manipulate the anti-virus in such a way as it logs itself out, logs itself in, all unasked, and then slows everything down while it contemplates what it is doing.  This, I only understood after uninstalling 'Avast,' and then re-installing the thing this afternoon.  Why did it do this?  Was it attacked by a virus?  Anyway, all is now well, apparently, but every day, and in everyway, we are being driven mad by the technology that was discovered to aid us and make our life easier!   

Tech Troubles

This has been as bright as my day has been today.

Stumbling back across the park from Sainsburys, I went for bread and milk and spent over £14!  How did that happen?  Anyway, attempting to be quiet as the woman downstairs was working from home this week, I found I had to make two phone calls.  This, as you know, is because of my landline fault.

After dozing working most of the morning on watching railway cab rides I decided to act.

So, after lunch and a snooze I got down to business.

I called PayPal after finding details on Twitter.  Details which just took me back to where I started and so after a while I got the phone number and called.

A man's voice, but not a human man, answered!

So began the questions, number, name , account, and the problem is?

After more faffing around and not getting this static voice to understand I gave up!

Steam came from my ears, tears from my eyes, and the woman downstairs took the dog out to get away from my whimpering cries.  Nothing I said made sense to the box ticking voice.  He did however, offer to renew my password, though as I canny log in this will not work, and he did not understand that I could not log in!!!  (enter red angry emoji here)

I sat, glancing at the whisky bottle, too far to reach and too early.

I returned to the mobile.

I contacted PlusNet, re the phone, once again.  This has been held back by my sloth and slight bug that bothers me.  However, well within the 20 minutes, an ADVISOR with a north American accent called.  This human being (take note PayPal) done a quick check, kept me informed, in spite of my obvious stupidity, and passed the deal to the engineers.  It may be my fault will be fixed in 48 hours and if not something will happen to check it out.

What a great ADVISOR he was, and I was keen to inform him of the difference between PlusNet and PayPal here.  Excellent service and hopefully a success.

Now, as darkness creeps towards us, the lightened clouds begin to darken, the wind pretends it is dying down and the branches begin to shiver as leaves flutter downwards, I am almost at peace.  

David Roberts

Technology Bah!

 

Another day of technology success.

While Google and I are struggling to fix 'robots' and 'validate' and 'crawl' the blog I have at least fixed (I think) the other little local difficulty.

My war memorial was not being found and I thought I had found a fix tonight, and indeed it has worked!  Learning Portugese swear words while working in the hospital years ago has paid off.  The trouble with such things is a failure to comprehend the language, American, in use, and those many little things not noticed or ignored which bring everything to a shuddering halt.  However, I think that is a job well completed.

The failure to search the blog properly is a worry.  Fix the 'robots' it said though I have no idea what they are, but when I tried nothing happened, why?  

Because their machine does not fix their blog!  I await the result of the present fix attempt.  Bah!

And, now I have altered the 'sounds' on my phone the annoying rasping call has been replaced with a gentle plop.  Very much healthier.

 

Tech Problems and Me!

 

 

Technology, like spelling, has always been a problem for me.  At school, aged a mere 5 years, I had learned that two halfpennies made one whole penny.  This news pleased me as the 'Beech Nut' chewing gum machine sold gum for one penny.  However, when I inserted my two halfpennies (where did they come from?) into the machine several times nothing happened bar the coins falling out again, I gave up then annoyed that the brute would not give the chewing gum demanded.  

Yesterday I had to record my voice.  I know, you wish to hear this, however copyright stops this, thus I was searching the world attempting to discover how to record on the laptop.  Naturally the answer lay on the laptop itself under the 'Voice recorder' on the Windows start!  Eventually I found this, slowly worked out how to do it, then kept doing it until satified with my 'work.'  Then came a search for how to send the recordings.   Of course no-one indicated that a 'sound recording' file would automatically appear did they.  This was discovered by accident, the recordings, once the majority had been dumped, sent off.

I then spent another eon attempting to join my mobile phone (cheap) to the laptop.  Again no-one mentioned the Start, this was where I found the link I also had spent time looking for.  Then it involved searching for other links, allowing access, clicking here, there and everywhere, by this time needing to shave again, I got it completed.  Thus I can send photos to the laptop!  However, I want to send them from the laptop and so far I have not discovered how!  

I did the right thing, I gave up.

At 7:30 I then continued my technological school by having to work out 'Zoom' so I could see the Logging In of the new Vicar.  No service possible these days, just a technological stramash as 65 of us 'zoomed in' and gave thanks for the 'Mute' button.  Heads popped up, some just the eyes appearing over the bottom of the screen, others full face, sometimes just the light in the ceiling being revealed as we struggled through the service.  I had not realised I would appear at the top of the Zoom screen, I would have washed had I known.  Good job the lights were down.

By this time I was shaking, all this technology, mostly successful, and still working.  I was glad I had not kidnapped a 13 year old to fix things after all, I may have had trouble getting rid of him afterwards.  

Now however, having spent so much time tapping these buttons, several fingers have stabbing pains in them.  I need to lie down.

 

 

 

Indoor Musings

 

I am thinking of renaming this blog 'The View From My Window.'  It appears that for the next six months that may be all I see.  Now I am happy enough hiding from virus's, 'Lock Down' in my view is better than pubs and street raves, football grounds and cafes filled with folks sharing Coronovirus freely, but it is a drag.

The view is quite good here, however, the rust is beginning to show on the leaves, Autumn arrived today, and with no leaves I get a better view, but mostly of rain.  Very misty last night, cleared by the time I rose, a sign of Autumn if nothing else is.

 

Feeling great yesterday after some exercise I got up early to visit Tesco.  This was a mistake.  Feeling good yesterday has left my knees aching today.  How does that work?  This limited my shopping as I am beginning to stock up for Brexit Day, January 1st 2021.  The Brexiteers claim all will be well, however, I noted yesterday that those Englanders living in the EU will find their cash blocked by the banks because of some 'administrative' problems in London.  I tried not to laugh.  Those who wanted Brexit while living in France and Spain do not encourage sympathy.  

I will however continue to stockpile against the wishes of the government who claim all will be well, it will be for them, lining their pockets on Russian Rubles, and I only hope the Butcher can continue to provide sheep for lunch in January.

 

This indoor life has encouraged tea drinking.  It appears to me the cup is never empty.  As it has occasionally been quite warm the tea drinking has escalated, surely this cannot be good for me.  This reminds me of my mother and her friends who could drink pots of tea, with a pot of hot water standing by to refill teapot, all day.  I use no teapot, I do have one, bought in an attempt to save cash by reusing teabags.  This was OK for a while but six old bags can either be too strong, or too weak, depending on bags.  I may have to look at this again to save money.

 

Of course being trapped indoors means there is plenty of time to do all those wee jobs ignored for the past 'wee while.'  This is of course true and I assure you I have every intention of doing them, tomorrow.

In fact some jobs have been done, others have been noted, and materials obtained for the work in some cases.  Several weeks of laptop problems have interfered somewhat with this and now the problems ease I must begin to fix things broken since Adam was a boy.  Almost everything I possess is either second hand, broken, or aged, just like me.  I was asked a while ago regarding the age of a jacket I was wearing, "About 20 years or so, just like the shirt," I replied.  The poor woman had a fit.  Wearing something that old was beyond her ability to comprehend.  Good job she does not see what is in the cupboards.  I suspect nothing she owned was more than a year old.  'If it works use it, if it wears well, use it' I say.  Modern stuff may be fun but do we actually require the latest technology?  Do we not just require the technology we use?  New clothes are good, if we need them and they are available in the charity shop.  Charity shops are struggling also these days, too little gifted during 'Lock Down' and now too much handed in at the first opportunity.  It is also difficult to get into one with the limitations on numbers allowed inside.

We are however much better off than many, we do not suffer war, or even Civil War like the USA will soon endure.  We are fed while others use Food Banks, we can walk while others cannot.  I give thanks I can see blue sky and sunshine, open spaces and birds singing in the trees.  Some people cannot see these things, I am well off.

 

Friday Faffing

I note Chris Evans, paid £1.6 million for blethering on Radio 2, has had a couple of babies, or at least this weeks wife has.  He has named them 'Ping and Pong.'  Now my love for Chris is such that I suspect I have not actually heard a word from him for at least ten years and would continue this quite happily for another ten, however I make so bold as to interfere in his life by suggesting that anyone who names their child in a stupid manner be hung from the nearest lamppost upside down.
At the very least the social services ought to be involved as there is no doubt names such as this, plus the constant publicity that follows them will do them much harm.  'Zowie Bowie' you will recall became 'Anthony, known as Tony, as soon as he was able to change his name.  He may remain working in music but now nobody notices, what could he have achieved with a proper name?

Theresa May, rejected by most of her party, rejected by 27 EU leaders and indeed laughed at, following, she says, 'the will of the people' in spite of the people wanting a second referendum that will end this madness.  She and her associates, if she has any left, are out of ideas and desperate to succeed in pushing Brexit in spite of knowing it will devastate the nation for fifty years. Don't you feel sympathy for her?
No.

Today is the 'International Day of Peace.'
Who decides this?  Who organises this?  Why did I only find out by chance?
Does it work in Syria I wonder?
Does it run into Friday evening when the pubs come out? 
Hmmm it appears this arose from the United Nations and has been running annually since 1981.
I had not noticed.
How many wars since then?  How many conflicts great and small?
Peace with God is available but only through Jesus Christ and his finished work on the cross.
Will folks allow you to say this?  
Possibly not as that would disturb their 'peace...'

Apple, that company famed for making money and watching your every move, have introduced a new 'iphone.'  This one retails at around £1400 and people in various parts of the world have queued up overnight just to be the first to buy this product.
Are they stupid?
Yes!

  
At the UKIP party conference, yes they still have one, there are a variety of items on sale, as you may expect.  Chequers Fudge and a UKIP branded thong are available but the best seller appears to be the condoms with Nigel Farage's face upon the packet, for when you have a 'Hard Brexit.'  
This is being advertised as the best way to avoid pregnancy!

Technology and I are Strangers

The other day the boss spoke of an attack of 'ransomware' malware.  In his case this beast attacked one or two files on his work computer  and he was advised by the company IT geeks to wipe the hard  drive completely.  This he could do as the IT has copies of all files so nothing was lost but time and effort.
Therefore I decided to obtain a flash drive and store lots of things thereon and be ready with the most important items, or as many as possible, that matter in times of such attack or any other problem.  It seemed good to take all the pictures amassed on many disks and collect them, in better order, on the 'stick.'
So of I totter to the shops to gaze at things very different from when I last gazed at them some time back.  It was clear prices were not as I'd hoped so after thought I went to E-Bay.  Here I found one for £3:99 and within a week it arrived.
Quickly I placed on the 32 GB monster one very large file.
It worked!
I added another.
It didn't!
In the end the files I added disappeared and the original turned into gobbledygook.     
That one lies over there where it landed.
A second, more expensive, one soon arrived.
This one worked, indeed it worked so well, once I had strained my little mind on the instructions, that by late last night I had transferred over a thousand pictures onto the disk with masses of space remaining. 
Marvellous, and feeling very happy I looked into various other parts of this device and noted some things that arrived when i first used the stick wrongly earlier that day.  I deleted them, that should fix it thought I.
When I went for the pictures collected and already on the stick I discovered they had disappeared as I had by mistake deleted everything.
Now I have to start again and once more go through the long arduous job.
The instructions on such technological items ought to have a warning on the top.

"Do not use if you are an idiot!