Media Clickbait

How much clearer life is when the papers are not filled with that wedding!  
Forty million pounds wasted on the benefit scroungers and masses of papers sold to those buying souvenir editions that will remain tucked away in cupboards for years to come. 
Bah! To all that I say!
Half the UK want to keep the monarchy, the other half do not.  The decent half cannot understand why people fawn over the royals, what is it that such silver spooned folks have that makes people wish to be near them?  Is it a desire to be one of them?  Just imagine living your life surrounded by underpaid fawning staff and grubby overpaid media personnel who will sentimentalise you today and stab you in the back tomorrow, do such folks really want that?  I feel sorry for the royals as none of them want to be in their position, however many in the nation do not wish to be in the position they are in either and just have to get on with it.  A life of luxury has its costs as much as a life at the bottom end.
Looking at the media all those I glanced at today were filling half their online pages with the wedding and the aftermath, this is them cutting down!  Clearly the media on all sides are pushing this heavily for the clickbait and realise there is an audience out there willing to be led like sheep.  It is indeed a worry that people are so easily fooled by such pomp, what is it within us that makes people seek celebs so desperately?  Clearly the hunger for God is within us all and requires satisfaction but half the church yesterday, if not all, were glued to their screens.  It may surprise you to know I missed it all.  I feel none the worse for that.

Can we Now Get Back To Normal?

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Guardian

Even the middle class, left leaning Guardian is dominated by this wedding.

OK it's over bar the fight at the party, the broken glass. several arrests and a whitewash covering it up until Wikileaks reveals what happened. For some strange reason the English Queen has decided not to go and made Philip stay at home also. Maybe she remembered he used to be in the navy? Soon this pair will fly of to their rich hideaway unknown to anyone bar thousands of paparazzi from dozens of countries. Goodbye.

The good side of such a wedding is the chance it gives some folks to enjoy a parade. The kids had a good time, the police get overtime for little effort, and the media can give a 'nice' story instead of desperately filling the news with nothing important. For many it is rightly a fun day out but I do find the women who follow such weddings somewhat cringe-worthy. Every time the groom looked at his bride hundreds of girlies exploded into sentiment. Every kiss was worth a photo and another gasp.  

Personally I suspect they have practised that often. The sentiment was honest but I did think it worrying that these women will be voting on how we elect our UK parliament in a few days, unless they forget while watching daytime television. Just as with Diana there are many living their lives through Kate. Hopefully she will keep a low profile otherwise the media will overdo the whole thing and the idolatry that arose then will return. People need something to fill that 'God' gap in their lives to give it meaning, and sadly Diana did this, I hope for her sake Kate avoids that burden.  I note also that ABC and CBS has this as their main story even though storms have killed around 300 in the deep south. I suspect they care little for the deep south mind you!

Two rich kids have got married, and she has married well. I hope it works and they have a good life. However I suspect the media will soon be interfering and attempting to break it up just to fill their grubby pages. Now we can get back to normal. I note the BBC has already begun to screen junk and with Saturday upon us at least the football will bring reality back to us all, hopefully.

Just in is this important comment from our friend in Aberdeen 'Kenfitlike.'

Wedding or no some folks had to walk their dogs, some of us had to cycle and some folks just had to get out and jog. With the blossom smelling sweet, the blackbirds, robins and finches singing it was an enjoyable (short) trip this morning. How nice to (almost) get away from everybody. How lovely to enjoy the Spring sun, when it eventually arrived. How lovely not to be bitten by any of the dogs that passed.

Stolen jokes.

What’s the difference between Iron Man and Iron Woman?

One’s a Superhero and the other is an instruction!!

What do you get if cross a motorway with a wheel barrow ?

Knocked over of course.


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Royal Wedding Build Up Post No 6

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Silly me I forgot to add the ring! The delightful Leazwell has reminded me that such things are important and desires that someone of wealth and influence purchases one of these for her.  Now while she claims they are available for $2 where she lives I myself could only find (among thousands of others) this beautiful (imitation) ring at a bargain price of only £6, details here.


I also must thank Mulled Vine for reminding me to post this:-

Getting Personal

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Royal Wedding Build Up Post No 5

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   The next Air Chief Marshall

                                                                             

As the excitement mounts I can hardly contain myself, just a few days to go before another days off arrives! To fill in the time both BBC and the ITV networks will be showing hours and hours of a royal wedding. Now just in case you missed this a royal wedding is a time of great joy for the United Kingdom. Throughout the land rejoicing takes place, street parties occur, business men moan at the loss of workers, souvenir sellers con masses of daft women and a few dafter men, and a wedding takes place in one of the big Anglican churches between two folks who don't believe in God and conducted by a man who has forgotten who God is. All in all a wonderful way for any government to make us forget about the thousands joining me on the dole, the house repossessions, the selling off, of the NHS, a new Vietnam in Libya and a recession that will once again kick us in the teeth after we have spent millions on security for this wedding. The happy couple? A couple of Hooray Henry's who have been born into money, will continue in money and spend the rest of their lives being harassed by the grubby media looking for dirt! In site of the money I pity them. The nation is of course divided here. While most are content to see this couple get on with their lives a republican streak is growing within the UK. The royal family became very popular during the war because of the behaviour of the King and his family. In recent years that generation has died off and the present one has seen Diana and her kind reduce the royals to material for 'Hello' Magazine. The respect has gone and instead of nice folks doing a job they are all to often satirised.  Now I reckon some of them do a good job, if you like that sort of thing, but the media wish Kate to become another Diana. I wonder if she is a publicity seeker? If not she may find them looking for reasons to hate her instead of false praise floating her way. TV has several dramas, films, and other programmes telling the delightful story of this couple, their families, their study, how they met, who knows them, and all based on what 'friends' have said. The World Cup had less coverage and that was important!  If you have failed to record these programmes you can always buy yourself or your loved ones or someone you wish to avoid a souvenir. Here are some examples a quick Google has found.

A classy Royal Wedding Tankard from John Lewis. This elegant cup tankard is a snip and £35 (plus p&p)

 

Possibly you would prefer a more realistic memento?  Mulberry Hall have the very thing. A strikingly lifelike limited edition Candle Snuffer, A bargain at £205 all in. Who could resist buying William to go with this and keeping a right pair on the mantelpiece to snuff the candles out before you go to bed? You will of course require candles after paying this much for these two! 

 

Relax in comfort through the over long hours of TV coverage with a John Lewis cushion. Just the thing to throw at passing males who wonder why you have lost your senses. A mere £68 plus p&p. 

Cynical anti royalists will not only be barred from ever entering Ibrox Park in future but may find £12 for a reverential thanksgiving plate worth a trip to John Lewis. 

However not being a cheapskate like some and very keen to possess an item that will not just bring the remembrance of royal nuptials to mind but is an investment also I personally will invest in this offering from the Royal Mint.

Not only the joy of watching them stare at one another in that locked box I keep under the floorboards but an item that will rise in value as they continue to fill the papers for years to come. Honeymoon period, children arriving, possible divorce, another child, King, rumours of split, depression, second honeymoon, attack by Fulham Chairman, death. All these will enhance my purchase and make an investment of £1550 plus p&p a real bargain. 

Oh yes, there was one other thing on offer but I cannot find a link. However I am positive one of you out there will know. Something for the (long) weekend I think.

 

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Royal Wedding Build Up Post No 4

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Daily Mail

Kate goes shopping!  Every day there is one more picture as the excitement builds for the wedding. Are you as excited as I? No, I thought not. The tabloids are having a fit with excitement!  There is a whole lot of desperation regarding who will make her dress. I have no idea who will do that, but I suppose it will be costing more than the benefits given to soldiers who lose their legs in Afghanistan. Although it may be that I am a touch cynical in my dotage. Why are people so involved with this wedding? I understand women getting fixations for such things but when royals are involved the media go into a world unknown elsewhere. There is also the DVD's to follow that will sell the 'Daily Mail' and 'Daily Express' for years to come.

 

 Virus

I clicked on a picture, of Alf Garnet of all things, and immediately a rogue antivirus opened up!  It started to run as if checking the system So I pressed the restart button to stop it. I ran my Avast! antivirus, Malwarebytes the anti malware programme and Spybot, all claim the PC is clean.
However, Google Chrome lost it's preferences, my NetMeter reset itself, and my Wallpaper Changer was wiped, although previous lists there remain it no longer lets me save new ones. A very strange result and I am left wondering what would have happened if I had not stopped this brute when I did or if anything is still hidden in there! 

Rogue antivirus programmes just begin running claiming there are many virus (virii) on your PC. Some will demand a high price to remove them, others just misuse your credit card. Once it began it cannot be stopped and often it will not allow you to download new progs to deal with it. I just press the restart button to stop it, and that appears to have limited the trouble it caused, or so I hope.  That's two in a week. Lucky me.

 

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Royal Wedding Build Up Post No.3

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Cafe Press

You will be as excited as I to know that in 'Royal Berkshire' (berks for short indeed!) they are now running bus tours around Kate's local area! Yes indeed all aboard for a trip past the church she may well have wandered into, the school she read girls magazines at, the shops the servants used and the very streets she would have trod had daddy not driven her in one of their cars. I know you all want to be there to see where the 'commoner' grew up.

Read, or indeed view it here with the Independent story.  

This Pair

And is this true? Is it true that the Beckhams are on the list of guests for the wedding? I mean 'The Beckhams? He of little football ability bar crosses from the right wing, and she of er, well no ability at all bar posing for the media. These two are to attend the royal wedding amongst kings, queens and other bored VIPs? I suppose they will have to sit on the brides side of the hall, beside the other 'commoners.'  Commoners with most of their millions in foreign bank accounts and a handful of menials to do the work they consider beneath them! The stick insect will feel right at home there...

                                                  

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Royal Wedding Build Up Post No.2

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I suspect that you, like me, are suffering withdrawal symptoms when you hear the sad tale of the 1900 invitations to Harry Willie and Kate's wedding being posted to the chosen recipients, and our name is not among them! This is indeed sad. Just imagine being among the two thousand or so (including servants, police, assassins, hangers on, radio and TV men, and fawning royal press corps) sitting through this wedding. Consider the cost of the outfit you must wear, shabby old suits not allowed, the boasting to acquaintances, the small talk with Kings and Queens (and here I don't mean the staff of Buck House), the long drawn out service, the more thoughtful guests whispering to you "Do you have the result of the 1:30 at Kelso?" and boredom faintly showing through the thin smiles on the faces around you. Do you really wish to be there? Thousands would of course, and they are just the folks the royals do not wish to mix with! 

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Royal Wedding Build Up Post No. 1


I remember the day  in 1981 when Charles married the freeloader Diana. I had thrown out the telly some years before, I did without one for eight years and it did me no harm, but did manage to watch this 'great occasion,' and well remember bot her mistake in getting her words wrong during the event and his deliberate mistake to make her feel better. I did not question then why a man of his age and intellect, interested in the environment, architecture, world politics, effective charity work, history and art, should be marrying a lass who found anything beyond '19' magazine a 'bit orff.' However I watched the overlong process, endured the fawning commentary, and watched the delightful programme which followed.


It must be said that I remember more about that programme than the wedding. Possibly it is because when you have seen one wedding, and I have seen lots, then you have seen them all. This however was worth watching. It was a long programme to fill in time as most of the nation was waxing lyrical about Diana's dress, her hair, her words, her.....zzzzzzzz so the BBC just shoved on a long documentary about Namibia, or South West Africa as it was once known. This excellent programme covered the vast desert area along the Atlantic coast, including the area known as the 'Skeleton Coast.' This featured many ships that had fallen foul of sea, wind and strange currents and ended up beached along here. Some of the crews no doubt remain here still! This huge country contains a mere two and half million people, and appears to have very little to maintain itself, apart from tourism, agriculture and mining for gold, diamonds and uranium of course! Only Mongolia is more sparsely populated and half the Namibians live below the poverty line, and many of them suffer from Aids!


Aids was of course of little interest in 1981, then it was a disease for the sexually loose still to discover, and this programme ignored such things to concentrate on the wildlife. The wildlife is what really sticks in my mind on that wedding day. Now I appreciate that many of you will associate weddings with a bit of wild life, but a drunken hedonistic evening is not what I have in mind, well actually it is. You see in one part of this divergent landscape there grows a type of fruit, the name of which escapes me, which causes the animals to gather every year. This in itself is not unusual however the cameraman was able to record a fabulous piece of the aftermath. This unnamed fruit falls in abundance and while the greedy elephants, chimps, zebra's and rhino's chomp away merrily the stuff begins to ferment inside them. Shortly after we are left with a gathering of drunken animals. Now in my mind 'drunken animals' brings to mind Rangers and Celtic fans laying waste the land as they pass, as Manchester can confirm, but these drunken animals do nothing of the kind! They just danced! The chimps were seen cavorting around fallen logs, the elephants swinging back and forth and I have a feeling the rhino was dancing. The whole variety of creatures were having a ball and no trouble was captured on this occasion.


However, the morning after was pictured. The rhino sat still and his expressionless face told nothing, but his eyes spoke of headache and weariness. Daddy elephant was not rejoicing and the lion looked somewhat depressed. The chimpanzees glared from red eyes, and this was black and white TV, at the world around them, and all the animals were heard to mutter, "Never again." But I bet they did! 


Anyway Charles put the bint to the use for which she was bought and had two (?) children and dumped her for someone he actually loved. If only he had married her in the first place,what a better life we all would have had!     

Suite 101

Max has asked a pertinent question, "Why do the women all seem to have to wear hats all the time. Is it just a tradition? And do the hats HAVE to be outlandish, or can the also be regular hats? Do earmuffs count as hats?"


Indeed why do people wear hats these days? Does anyone know, or indeed care? In the fifties it became the thing not to wear hats. Generations untold had worn head gear of some sort for whatever reason, and suddenly we were more concerned for our DA haircut and, in the UK at least, happy to get our heads cold and all to often wet in the dreadful weather. Throughout the sixties few but the older generation wore hats. My dad always wore his cap, and kept his good cap in the wardrobe for any special occasion he may have attended. I can recall as a child spending what appeared to be eons in shops while mum tried on hat after hat, each discussed with a wide variety of other women involved in the same event, while my mind froze from boredom. Yet rarely did we wear any form of headgear. There was a fad for army bush hats around 1969/70 but this was a fad, nothing more. Yet about 10-15 years ago I started to wear a cap to keep my head worm in winter, and to avoid the hysterics of others I changed tack and began to wear one of those awful American baseball caps. Since then I, and many others, are never seen without one! Why the change? It is still fashionable for trendy tough guys wannabes to shave their heads and act macho, but so many others wear caps and in times past we would have thought this somewhat unfashionable! Why did we change?


Women of course are always changing their minds , let alone their hats. Fashion comes and goes and hats were always worn for weddings or 'fancy do's,' but not for everyday wear. That appears to have changed. certainly some women look very good in hats, and a few I know would look better in a Yashmak, but that's another story. The days of a headscarf over hair covered in curlers appears to be dead, although it was popular in British films of the early fifties, and a lass is more likely to wear a baseball cap which doesn't suit her because it fits in with those around her rather than something that actually suits. The weather being kind of windy and containing much rain makes it difficult for a self conscious girl to know what to put on her head today. A hat keeps her warm but might fly off and cause embarrassment while it may also spoil her hairdo! A brolly will be chosen even though it will turn inside out, although she will not notice how many eyes she removes with it of course! Hmmm such a choice to make!


For those of you who really wish to know how, and indeed when, to wear a hat you will find advice here on the Suite 101 site. Good luck to you but in this weather I am sticking to my ageing cap.




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