Annoyed!

As you know I never get annoyed, I am always laid back...
However when I received my replacement driving licence, the one I got ten years ago has never been used as I have not got the cash for the vehicle, I was annoyed.  The details were OK but on the right hand side as illustrated is shown a disgusting English flag!
This moronic emblem has been dumped there by the Tory Brit nationalists to impose the union on the Celtic states.  Those who demanded their own flag have been rudely rebuffed and like me now find this wretched emblem on the licence.  How disgraceful and annoying!
I was tempted to send it back and even worse to run out and buy a car and drive up to Scotland just because.  Instead I sat in my bed watching Raith Rovers struggle against Queen of the South.  This did not help as it was not very exciting until the last 5 minutes but at least it was Scotland glimpsed.

  
Intrigued to find that this gentleman, Mr Rees-Mogg, has written a history book concerning famous Victorians.  I did not look to seek this book out ans another gentleman, one A.N.Wilson, who has also written a book re Victorian individuals has apparently reviewed the Rees-Mogg effort.

"Jacob Rees-Mogg has written a history book. The Times's reviewer calls it "staggeringly silly", "morally repellent", "clumsily written" and "pompous."

Sniggering a wee bit I may just pass this one by... and no, I didn't bother seeking out the title, it didn't appear worth the effort.

Saturday

The golden leaves look fabulous while hanging on the trees that created them. This morning I once again saw them strewn across the pathway, bright and golden, yet almost impossible to capture on camera.  Here they look somewhat sodden and dull yet at the time the whole area is brightened by the light, such as it is with rain clouds above, bouncing from them.  The rain has been crashing through the trees in the last 24 hours and the wee man in the shopping centre brushing them up was murmuring curses towards the small tree as he worked.  A non stop job this until the tree has lost the last leaf, I used to suffer this in times past and do not wish it again. 

   Wiki

The Greeks are still at it today.  With the whole world economy finely balanced on their shoulders the PM, Papadopolous, has been playing 'cat and mouse' with the Germans and French leaders. With the cameras not available both took him aside and bounced his head off a wall a couple of times, Hoplite like, and encouraged him to see things their way.  Now, with Saturday evening upon us, nothing is really much clearer  among the Hellenes.  It does appear that a new government will appear in Greece but the umpteen billion debt remains.  Maybe this time they might ask all those millionaires that live there to pay their taxes?  What sort of nation allows the rich to avoid paying tax.....hmmmm now I think about it.....

  Daily Mail

In the south west of England a major road accident.  Several vehicles were involved in a smash.  At least seven are dead and 43 injured.  The cause as yet unknown.  Whatever the cause, drive safely where ever you are!

.

Car

I searched the pockets. In amongst the keys, my empty wallet and the fluff I found riches! A twenty pence piece and one penny! 21 pence! That's all I had in the world, save debts of course. There was only one thing to do, dream, and dream big, so I went shopping for a car. I started at the bottom, Fred's repair shop. He buys old cars, does them up and flogs them for low prices. he makes his money from people bringing them back to get them fixed. I sauntered round to his place as if I owned the world. He had gone! The place was deserted and I think they are going to build houses on his carefully weeded esplanade. Right then, move on to the man on the pavement. A walk of some minutes brought me to the corner opposite the motorbike shop. There is usually two or three cars going cheap there, and today I was lucky. An Audi A3 for around £800. I looked from a distance, wondering if it had an engine or not. The aged, once white, Vauxhall next to it indeed did have an engine, I could tell as the bonnet would not close. £475 for that? I moved on. People watching me may have thought me a thief, a loiterer or someone daft enough to purchase one of those heaps of metal lying there rusting.


The difficulty, apart from cash, in buying a used car is knowing what you want. Having no money this is made easier, I just want something for nothing, but if I had cash how would I know anything I bought would be worth the money. I suppose having an expert alongside would help, and car experts abound round here until you need one. Reading all the best books, websites and watching 'Top Gear' or 'Fifth gear would help. But I suspect buying from a half decent garage would be the safest bet, but that costs money. The cheapest in the garage pictured was £1850, and that is way beyond my dreams. While these cars may well work for several years and the servicing might well be trustworthy, and that garage has existed for a long time, the cars usually run at £2-5000 a go!


There was nothing for it but to dream on and wander to the main dealerships, after closing time, and wander round Mazda's and Fords when the salesmen had gone home to log into their online bank account just so they could be smug. How does anyone pay£12-25000 for a car these days? Trade in the old one, get a company car, or just allow yourself the glory of another huge debt to be repaid, if you keep your job! For a nation in recession, with many like myself on the dole and others living in what they call 'poverty,' it never ceases to amaze me just how many expensive vehicles are on the road! 'Top Gear' constantly informs the viewers that such and such a car is available for only £70,000! Some are a mere £175,000, cheap for a car that does 180 miles an hour, while the speed limit at best is 70, and the kids in your area, or maybe their fathers, with scratch it as they pass by. Still if having a small willy makes you think such a car is what you need go ahead! Personally I just wish I had the £2295 that the foreign boy wants for that Skoda Fabia. An ideal car in many ways, few complain about them, and anything to get me around would be welcomed. There again, I still have my 21 pence and I am 'excused shorts!'

Driving Test

Lying stretched out on the settee behind me lies Michael, my guardian angel. He has just gone through most of a bottle of Sainsburys cheapest 'French Brandy' and is now gurgling, head in hands and muttering "All over, it's all over." This in between kneeling, head on floor Islam like, and offering prayers in strange languages. Possibly the sun has got to him, possibly just my driving, whatever I understand he is off to Turkey for a holiday in Collossae now. I pointed out to him that nothing there remains except a dirty big hill, as yet untouched by the archaeologists spade. "I know," he muttered, leering somewhat, "I know!" He then went back to the bottle spluttering somewhat about emptiness and "space to breathe again."

Now as you know I took a driving test this lunch time, and during this the aim is to drive in a confident and competent manner. There is a drive along a varied route, including at least two manoeuvres. The scoring system is simple, if you have what they call a 'serious' you fail, end of story. I managed two of these last time! However you are allowed fifteen (15) 'minor' faults and if you manage sixteen (16) of those you fail. 'Minors' are not faults that could lead to disaster but a lot of them do indicate a problem.

Today, in spite of the instructor leaping out at the roundabout on the by-pass, I managed to accumulate fifteen 'minors' but no 'serious' faults. This means I have passed the driving test, although he did say, "It wasn't a good drive!" But he managed not to spit as he said this and gave me a pass. He also 'suggested' I should do the 'Pass Plus' with a somewhat desperate air I thought. However I forgot to tell him this was a bloody sight better drive than the one I practised during the hour beforehand! I would not have passed with that one.....

Or indeed the one from the week before when during the 'bay parking' attempt I had made a right hash of it then sat back and watched a woman attempt the same lesson. She parked perfectly first time! The bitch! Not only that but she was blonde! The bitch! Wimmen are such spiteful beasts!

Now all I have to do is fill in paperwork, obtain photo, and get new licence. I suspect this will cost more money.

The instructor is desperate for me to buy his dads car, cheap and a runner, but I canny afford a bus fare now and need a sudden influx of cash, 'scuse me while I consult Michael, hold on he has vanished! And the bottle is full again, strange that. Anyway, now I must get work. I will make a new advert,

"Idiot (with licence (just) ) seeks (easy) work"

That should do.

Now I am off to bed until Thursday.....

Now I am not one to complain as you know...

However there are occasionally little things which can interfere with my normally quite, demure, reticent attitude. Today it was rain! It threatened to rain last night, the weather girls (who never return my letters, except that one who sent her lawyer and two police officers round) promised big black clouds and abundant rain all day and all night. They lied! When I arose the clouds were gathering joyfully overhead, attempting to rain but failing to fulfil their potential. By eleven of the clock when I eventually squeezed my corpulent stomach under the steering wheel of the imitation Maserati in which I endeavour to learn the rudiments of safe driving the sun had come out! Now normally this is good, and while appreciative of the situation we were soon to find problems.

While coursing through the back roads of the county, round bends and sharp turns on roads that grew over hundreds of years possibly because of the drunkenness of the locals, taking in with the corner of my eye the ancient timber framed, brightly coloured houses, fields of bright yellow rape crops, and the woman driver three inches from the rear my boot, "Why don't you just sit in the back seat dear?" While doing this it started to rain. Here it comes as promised we thought, heavy downpours, flooded slippy roads, and the occasional daft motorcyclist (twenty seven were killed on these roads last year!) ahead. Wrong! It merely left big drops of rain on the windscreen which grew in number until I had to switch on the wipers. Normally this has been no problem, however Spring being Spring and the seasons specific delights revealed themselves and we discovered just how many dead flies had met their maker on the windscreen! As the wipers made their weary way back and forward, back and forward, back and forward, we not only found ourselves falling asleep, asleeeeep, asleeeeeee BEEP! BEEEEEP!!! but we also became aware that we could see nothing for the streaks of fly remnants everywhere! This mucky blemish naturally occurred as I reached tight right hand bends hidden behind high hedges and aged buildings or hindered the view as cars appeared from narrow lanes that emerged behind Inns that had encouraged Englishmen for centuries to misshape the roads as they made their weary way home. Squirting water onto the screen helped for almost minutes as the blades worked double time and helped in no way as I struggled to go through villages whose roads were not built for more than one bullock cart and three drunk Englishmen. The drunks remained but the Bullocks have long since been turned to soup. As we neared home two hours and much sweat later the instructor, somewhat too eagerly I thought, mentioned that the sun was showing itself again. I was glad we were on the long, almost straight, road home as it allowed me to glance upwards and glower in the skies direction.

These trips not only educate me in the way of the idiot driver, and we have met a few out there, but I can glance at the centuries of history that we pass in between crunching gears and ignoring speed limits. The picture is of Long Melford church and the red brick 'Trinity Hospital' (Old folks home to you & me) an ancient loooong village that was there when the Romans passed through, contains two huge Tudor houses and masses of red brick walls and rich Suffolk folk. This area was once the breadbasket of England (that's England as opposed to the UK folks) and wool was the reason for the wealth. The people of this area not only provided the occasional king, many nobles who thought they should be king but they also enjoyed the god Mammon so much they have managed to keep their grasping hands on much of the wealth ever since. They also eat bread, as there is always a bread van parked in an awkward position when we pass through.

Spring being the best time of year it is wonderful to see the white flowers growing at the side of the roads, the green fields, some of which appear to be well ahead of schedule, and the views over the gently rolling landscape as I miss the turn through watching the gently rolling landscape and plough through Farmer Jones bright yellow crops. Small birds attempt suicide as we pass by flying low over the roads, large one dominate the sky, rooks and crows jealous of their territory and a Kestrel high above watching minute movements of rabbits or voles or anything that spells lunch! At least today, being a holiday, there were no tractors with their huge tyres pushing us into the verge, no women driving huge 4x4's as the schools were closed and dad, if he is still around, drives his expensive vehicle, and we managed to avoid those who headed for the coast or the big garden centres that attract shoppers on such occasions like the instructors windscreen does.

A good day in the end, we survived!

Normal Life

At last a day of (almost) normal life. The weariness had gone when I awoke and as the rain kept popping its head around the door I knew things were heading back to normal. The list of things to do was almost untouched, that's normal, the things that were done were done badly, that's normal, and now, too late, I find urgently required things untouched. A normal day. Tomorrow of course I go back to the driving lessons before failing at the next test. I feel like I have been doing these lessons since that bloke posed on his car. He at least had simple rules, do not go above four miles an hour, have a man lead you waving a red flag, and that was that! It was not until 1931 that the first 'Highway Code' was introduced, and that only because thousands were being killed on the roads! Incredible as it may seem there were more deaths on the roads then than there are now! Tomorrow this may go into reverse.....




I recently found this on the web, I still think it's funny......

Busy Saturday

The problem with having a busy day when you are laz...used to not being busy is that while lots has been achieved exhaustion sets in! Being unemployed, and unwanted it appears, the physical fitness disappears. While recently I have been getting half an hour on the bike and walking much more, my knees ache from the activity and something always interferes. Well that's my view anyway, no matter what the rest say! So today, after I had struggled along on tyres that desperately need inflation but had to wait as I thought rain clouds were forming so rushed out, I then finished those jobs that have been requiring attention for some time. Funny how rusty sinks get when you don't clean them too often. Anyway I shopped and then cooked. This some people think of as a joy, they must be mad! Cooking is awful! That is why it should be left to the women, it takes forever and keeps them out of the way! However not having one, they tend to runaway for some reason, I have been forced to chop vegetables for hours today. Onions (tears), potatoes, carrots, a big purple thing, green leaves,and then mix them, first of all into 'Flanders Stew, and then into what I laughingly call soup. This has been referred to as 'primordial soup' by some, but possibly because that stuff had been lying for a while.... I have spent hours at this and what do I get out of it, apart from 'E-Coli? three lunches and six soups. It would have been more 'Flanders Stew' lunches but I had a bit more than I ought tonight, just a bit. The sooner I get a proper (easy) job the better!



Today, in between onion peeling, I also managed to obtain more driving lessons. After the stupidity of forgetting to use the mirrors during the test (What cars where?). I have another test booked for the first of June. Fail this one, and they have changed it to make it harder, then it can be forgotten. I just cannot afford it now, not that I could before of course. 'Capital One Card' must love me! The cash flow here is so bad the Chancellor has asked me for advice on his budget. Unfortunately I think he listened to me.

History Tour

It struck me quite forcibly yesterday that the areas we drive through, and sometimes across, have a long and indeed wealthy history. For instance we started by heading for Sudbury, after failing to complete parallel parking and reversing round a corner to any one's satisfaction, especially that ginger cats! With the sun shining, the sky blue, the engine swearing every time I chose the wrong gear we headed through the country roads populated only by retired gentlemen and white van drivers. Sudbury reflects the vast wealth that once made this area one of the most influential in England. The wealth came from wool! Whereas we tend to think of sheep, those white fluffy farm animals, as creatures who inhabit Scottish mountains and the English lake district, there was a time when this are was covered in them.

Before the sheep however there was Sudbury. It is on record as being mentioned as long ago as the year 799 when the bishop Aelfhun died there. Maybe he didn't like it? Edward III, one of those despotic English kings knew a thing or two about money and in the thirteen hundreds he imported a lot of Fleming's to weave the wool and develop trade. (That's Fleming's in folk from what is now Holland/Belgium, not some sort of rat like furry animal by the way) Wool's importance is shown in that the original 'woolsack,' sat upon by the Lord Speaker in the House of Lords contained Sudbury wool. Not a lot of people know that! Few care. Careering through the narrow crowded market with a thousand other vehicles takes the driver, who has no time to look, past portrait painter Thomas Gainsborough's house. I knocked once but he did not answer. He is of course famous for his portraits and it is said that when Mr & Mrs Andrews wanted their portrait painted he actually desired to paint a landscape. So he just stuck them to one side and filled the picture with their estate. Now a small market town bereft of sheep it remains in many American memories as RAF Sudbury was home to 834th Squadron (H), 486th Bomb Group (H), 8th Air Force during the second world war. Like the RAF the Yanks lost around 50,000 bomber crew during this conflict!

Swearing through the winding country route chosen for me, changing gear with every hill and speed limit that changed themselves within yards of one another I thought, we eventually dawdled through Long Melford at 29 miles an hour. Slow enough to avoid the dumper truck being unloaded in the town centre. Long Melford is a very long, and very wealthy, village that has stretched its way along this Roman road since even before the Romans decided to tread it. Made wealthy by the wool found in abundance here a thousand years ago the village boast two great manor houses, with their red brick walls very noticeable, and a huge fifteenth century church. You could not pull the wool over Suffolk folks heads in the old days. This area has been home to the ancient Britons, Angles, Saxons, Danes, Romanised Britons and the mongrel mob that now refers to itself as 'English.' Several thousand years of continual existence. From a forest covered land, through the middle ages and the sheep which brought wealth, nobles and abbots fighting for political power, the plague and the following 'Peasants Revolt' all passed through here, leaving a rich history and, in Suffolk, lots of cash still and that in spite of the credit crunch!

Free from manoeuvres I sped down the road back home, until we passed the 'community hall' car park. Forced by the evil instructor in there we practised reversing into a bay and bouncing of the pavement. I made out the word "Fail" escaping from his clenched teeth but was not to sure about the others. One more attempt on Friday, another on Monday and then the Test itself on Wednesday. Bishops Stortford does not know what it has let itself in for.

Wednesday Fun

So I went driving, at 9 am this morning! An hour before I get up!

He has a sick sense of humour this man!

Anyway arriving back I came upstairs and gave thanks I was still alive.He informed me he does this every time he gets home, and now I understand why!

Behind me, slumped on the couch, Michael, my Guardian Angel, grasped a brandy bottle in his hand.

"Here, you don't drink," I reminded him.

"I do now," he muttered between gulps."I never used to till you came along with this driving malarkey!"

He lay back, feet on the small table in front of him muttering things in an unknown language.

I er, didn't like to ask..........

Certainly it was an interesting day. Straight along the old Roman Road into big town and round every roundabout in the place. "I thought you and roundabouts needed tightening up," he muttered. By the fifteenth I needed straightening out and muttered quite a bit myself!

His instructions were clear.

"Left here"

"Right"

"Left, then right at the next," He did not mention there was only 20 feet between them and it meant changing lanes in heavy traffic.

"Right here, middle lane, then signal left, mind the kerb"

"30 speed limit here not 50, left at the lights"

"I think it may be you as the gears usually go into the right slot when everyone else does it"

"Right at this one, then left, mind that silver CAAAAR"

"What silver car? Where"

"40 limit, that is a limit, not a suggestion"

"I know he has stopped, that's because it's your right of way and he doesn't trust you"

"Don't stop the lights are green, left, BRAKE!!!"

"Left, and never mind why I am using a rosary"

"Pedestrian crossiiiiiNNNGG!! Yes I braked. It's OK, she's just a chav, she will roll off at the next roundabout, the pram will follow"

"That's fourth gear that's why we are juddering like a lifeboat in a gale"

"Good stop, I can walk to the pavement from here!"

Now my mate Michael has finished the bottle, but strangely it still appears full. He mutters something about a rest and disappears leaving me to burn my dinner. I wonder if he will do what he said last time and ask for the big boss's help come the actual test?

What's that burning? Ah I know, dinners ready.

A Drive in the Country

Because I gave him the test date my driving instructor decided to find a variety of roads to wander over today. It was brilliant sunshine for a while and this brought out the motorist. All the roads were busy and we kept getting held up by learner drivers still thirty hours behind me according to how slow they were taking the bends. And bends there were! While the US and some other countries makes long straight roads, the UK has miles of bendy twisted roads that have evolved over eons. Quite how the A1071 from Sudbury to Ipswich twisted so much we pondered today but could not work it out. When the Romans arrived the strengthened the roads and ensured they travelled in a straight line from start to finish, 'Stane Street' is one such and lies outside my window. These roads were already ancient tracks by that time however why did our road take so many turns? Ancient forest covered this land for thousands of years and in the last thousand kings used the area for hunting and for much of that time the trees remained untouched. Having your head lopped of stopped some folks from knocking them down. Small local tracks in areas where people should not have been living may have been interconnected over time and now give us a busy road full of lorries, vans and learner drivers. The added bonus of two dirty big agricultural vehicles blocking the road helped cheer those behind me as they fumed at my habit of sticking to the speed limit!
Even his devious plan of returning along the A12 did not put me off, although the police car that ran along beside me was unhelpful I thought. I noticed that my hand were somewhat sweaty as I grasped the wheel doing 80 as we overtook the lumbering lorries. I was reminded that 70 is the limit once or twice... A good day, apart from stalling three times, almost running into someone at a crossing and failing to find the gears once or twice - in the fast lane! I wonder if I should go on with this....

Theory Test

That's Driving 'Theory Test' I should explain, not a test looking for a theory. I have a few of those and some of them pretty strange I can tell you and once I had joined the blog world I came across a great many more strange theories I can tell you!!!!! However the thing is I have to pass the 'theory' bit before I can take the 'practical' part and prove I am safe to drive alone on the road. (Stop sniggering at the back!) I passed with (almost) flying colours and will book the practical test tomorrow. Hopefully this will be soon and then you lot out there can start worrying!

The fields being saturated for some weeks meant that the melting snow has once again flooded the county. When I came here I read that this was the driest county in England, not today! The many dips in the country roads meant that many flooded as the water came of the fields or overflowed river banks. Those of you near rivers and streams will now what this is like. On top of this many new houses have been built on flood plains! How daft is that? It is difficult to control a river when it floods and some folks are watching the results of this tonight. The town centre where I took the test has a river running through it and here it is almost up to the bridge. Further down it has broken the banks and I watched the ducks despair at any chance of lunch today! Even they would not risk the fast flowing water. One of my pretty young girl friends took 25 minutes to drive 400 yards she said and completed the journey in one and a quarter hours! It would take about 30 usually.


As the train trudged slowly along it struck me that I would need to work for another seven and a half years before I get the pension and can officially retire - if I can actually get a bloody job first of course! However a horrid thought crept up on me - I was thinking about pensions! Where has life gone? I have done nothing but fail and make a mess of things and already life is over! Jings!
Excuse me while I lie on the floor and despair.....

Time

Where did it go? Last time I looked it was Friday and I had just had a driving lesson, was on my knees giving thanks for survival, something I know the instructor was doing as soon as he got home, and awaiting a trip to the soup kitchen. Suddenly I have had a weekend, another drive through the wet roads, a rough time at the roundabouts and that kerb which lunged at me, and suddenly here I am getting ready for tomorrows 'Theory Test,' which I have decided I know too little about! I have realised how little I know and those are the questions they will ask. Ho hum!
Nothing has been done as my mind has been filled with other things, God, driving, a magazine and Josephus 'Antiquities' mostly. Now I am brain dead. Not that anyone would see any change I suppose.

Now where is that 'Highway Code' book......?

Tuesday Babble

So we put off yesterdays driving lesson because of the snow, and today we decided to miss out because of the black ice. Being wise the lesson has been rearranged for Friday. Now the weather man has warned us about a repeat of the snow Thursday night and Friday morning! Oh Goody!
However the sun did shine today. the sky was blue here, and walking on the pavements was similar to going down the 'Cresta Run!' I canny wait for tomorrow!





This nurse offered to pray for one of her patients, and next thing we know she is in front of a disciplinary hearing, for causing offence! Oh yeah? How can such a simple offer cause offence and require a disciplinary hearing? I get offered double glazing on the phone, can I sue for being offended? How ridiculous this nation has become. However this is typical of the treatment Christians must expect from now on. This type of persecution, for that is what it is, will occur more often as the atheist lobby grow even more powerful. The apparent notion of avoiding offence, usually to homosexuals and ethnic minorities, at first glance appears fair, we ought to treat everyone fairly. However this opens the way for persecution of anyone who holds opinions the political correct decide are right. Christians, who care for folk and therefore object to anything that harms them in Gods eyes, are the main, but not the only, target here. The common sense and common decency that appeared to exist a few years ago has gone. A rush to law, and a claim for 'rights,' which in reality means money, has taken its place.

This nurse does no wrong and is attacked. My nation suffers prejudice daily and no-one objects. It's a funny old world we live in today! 'Daily Mail'



MATT in the Daily Telegraph is one of the most consistent cartoonists around. For many years he has brought a smile out of a variety of situations. Here he comments on 'Total' bringing Italian and Portuguese workers into the UK. This has led to 'wildcat' strikes from those fearful of losing their jobs during the 'Credit Crunch.' For me he is always worth a look!

So, Normal Life Returns!

Yes indeed! All around folks are complaining about returning to work. Few contemplating how lucky they are! The dreary round of work, rest and, well work again, has returned. The economic situation being what it is I wonder how many will be employed in a few months time? However the economy in this place took a turn for the worse when I finally decided that the cheap replacement cartridge for the printer just would not work, no matter how many times I fiddled with it. I bit the bullet (where did that bullet come from?) and bought a proper full price HP 57 from Tesco! The annoying thing is that the colour version of the cheapie did not work, but the black version I bought a while ago works fine! Now at last I can print out the application form for a job I will not get and waste time and money sending it off! Isn't it silly that a small thing like a useless printer can bring the world to a halt?



I came across this small but delightful story in the paper yesterday. This small shop sells crockery and a Robin, usually a rather shy bird with people and a bully among birds, began a habit of entering the shop and settling on a mug decorated with pictures of Robins! In spite of the customers it continues to come in and follow the owner into her office and uses her mug, with the robins, as a place to hang around. Isn't it lovely that in this wild and nasty world simple little things like this please us so much? Just before the attack on the Somme in 1916 one group of soldiers were worrying, not about the fight ahead, but whether a blackbirds brood would be able to fly off before they went 'over the top.' There was delight that all birds successfully left the nest before the attack went in! The 'Birdman of Alcatraz, Robert Stroud, was actually the 'birdman of Leavenworth' who did befriend a wounded canary and went on to study them over thirty years. He had time to study being in solitary confinement because of his violent manner and being sentenced to life with no parole! He did spend time in Alcatraz and I suppose that name made for a better film title, even though the acting did not resemble Stroud himself. I must confess I am partial to a bird myself.


The day started with snow! Just what I did not want with the driving lesson. However it was not to bad by the time we started, the biggest problem being the sun shining straight in my face. he took me that way deliberately to get me used to the situation - swine! It was nowhere near as bad as in the photo, but winding roads, black ice, slush and a dustcart right up behind me for miles urging me on as they wanted to finish early, kept me from wearying!

The Things You do!

Of course, had I been 'middle class' and a 'Daily Mail' reader, I suspect I would have headed that as 'The Things One Does.' However I didn't but I did manage to have a bite at the middle class 'Daily Mail' reader so it's not all bad! On Monday, in between grabbing the wheel at the big roundabout,("What lorry where?") my instructor asked if I was feeling fit. Naturally I went through a long list of aches and pains, and covered the many sufferings this never ending 'bug' wishes to give me. He cared not a jot! So this morning I found myself, in zero degrees I should add, wandering the streets sticking his leaflets through folks doors. He had come upon a sad problem, too many of his pupils have passed the test and now he has run out of work. I had suggested his kids, and his latest woman, should be out there doing this, but as I have mentioned before, he cared not a jot! However it was fun, and almost like working again!

Of course I came across the old problems postmen face daily. Dogs barking, gates which are shut, take ages to open, are covered in grime and rainwater, and get you a volley of abuse if you leave the thing open! Who needs a gate anyway? It is only a psychological barrier against the world and IT DOESN'T WORK! Many Englishmen are fearful of immigrants, especially black ones, coming here and taking the jobs they don't have and running of with the wife they now detest. Oh the problems of being such a person, and you defend your kith and kin with a dirty, rain covered gate! Well done! Women complaining that putting a leaflet through the letterbox, which 'clangs' loudly, wakes their child as if this is your fault, is another interesting problem. I have an answer to this but apparently this is illegal now. Pity. Letterboxes with a stiff 'brush' behind it in a vain attempt to keep out draughts also keeps out leaflets and mail. yet these folk complain their mail is bent! Some daft folk also have a metal plate, which 'clangs,' behind this brush. Are they all mad I ask? Paving slabs which rise up to me you and holes which hide until you find them are not helpful. And what can be said for the cat? Running to you as you come up the litter strewn path, this was not the best of areas to leaflet, little puss rubs herself into you, meows kindly, and as you walk away without opening the door and letting her in gives you a look that would make Margaret Thatcher tremble! Naturally I saw few postmen at work!

It almost make me feel like I was working again! My fingers went from frostbite to almost thawed in less than an hour, my knees ached, the sun went in and dark brooding clouds came over, threatening rain, and I felt like going back to bed. Yes indeed, it was just like being at work once again! I still have two thirds of his leaflets here! How many did he give me? I shall do more tomorrow, if it does not rain, and then I hope he will give me a free hour, or two!

Harold

It had been a hard day, a very hard day.
He struggled slowly up the stairs, threw his paperwork on the desk and sank into the chair.
On the sofa Harold grabbed the brandy bottle and gulped deeply.
"Oi!. You're not suppose to do that!" he shouted."Not only is that mine but as a Guardian Angel you don't drink!"
"You are of course right," said Harold, passing over the bottle,"But I am not a 'Guardian Angel,' I am just an 'Angel.' And my role is that of messenger, to bring the bosses word to you." He placed his feet on the small table used as a stool, put his hands over his face and muttered, "It was only when I was sent to you that I realised I had to guard you also. Now I am an alcoholic!"
Taking the bottle from his protector he swigged it down, noticing it was still full. "How do you do that?" he asked.
"None of your business. But after that drive it is a necessary act - for myself!" He groaned and curled up on the sofa.
"You don't need sleep either mate!"
"Not till I met you I didn't murmured Harold."
It had been a hard day. The bug was still hanging around and his concentration was not one hundred percent. Poor Harold must have forced several vehicles to brake and left buses, impatient women drivers and 'white van men,' wondering why. Driving with more confidence, but still without sufficient intelligence he had stalled turning corners, braked too hard, ignored road signs, held up traffic, mistimed roundabouts and really worried the cows in that field!
"The thing to remember," said the instructor," You are going faster, and this shows you are improving." He still wore the crash helmet however, and had grabbed the wheel when that nutter yelled as he passed us. The rain hindered his view, the roads were slippery, and fellow road users remained far closer than the 'two second rule' suggested. Of course the sun came out in between the rain and aimed straight for his eyes. The rear window was smeared with muck and the washer did not work making the rear view mirror useless. Heading home the sun took up position in the same window ad attempted to blind him. On top of this every village was a thousand years old and the roads had not been mended since Henry the second was King of England.
"Do you realise I sweat?" asked Harold shaking. "No other Angel does. Cold sweat every time you go get into the car. I asked for a transfer last week but the boss threatened to transfer me to Montana, so I decided to stay. I can only take so much Country music."
"Lies, all lies." He said as he lay on the floor staring at the ceiling, the road still swimming across his eyes. Mentally his feet pressed the clutch pedal and he found himself glancing to right and left checking non existent mirrors.
"Look." Harold said shock in his voice, "I am getting gray hairs! That's your fault. No other Angel has gray hairs, just me. I will be the only bald angel soon."
"It wasn't that bad."
"Not bad?"
"We lived."
"Only because I stopped the Renault from hitting you on the roundabout."
"I was in the right,he was miles away and had time to brake."
Harold sat upright and stared at him. "You give way to traffic coming from the right. You ignored him and went round the roundabout. No wonder he screamed at you that way."
He knew Harry was correct but decided to check his Highway code, dated 1976, and confirmed what he already knew. "It was near the end of the day, I was tired, a little lack of concentration was to be expected."
Harold groaned the groan of one under stress. "Another lesson next week, and if he passes the test......." His thoughts trailed away. "I may need assistance. I wonder what Michael is doing these days?"" Praise the Lord," he muttered, but there was an element of sarcasm in his voice.

Monday, The Bug, The Driving and the Sleeping

This is a computer image of a cold virus. A small thing of itself but one that affects us all and ought to be banned under the Geneva Convention. It is indeed a brute! I'm sure we all agree!

The common cold virus rhinovirus 16 contains 60 sites capable of connecting to a
receptor, called ICAM-1, on human cells. The virus uses several of these sites to gain
entry into the cell. This computer-simulated model, developed by Purdue researchers,
shows where the receptors attach to the outer protein shell of the virus.

This horror has been hanging around for weeks. No matter what I do it remains, like debts and gray clouds over the UK. It returned the other day leaving me languid and with the occasional aches. It dissipated enough today for me to drive around for two hours. It seems to return every few days and is beginning to annoy me. I am not alone in this as I have met other who find such bugs hard to lose nowadays. I am not happy, but then is that any sort of change I ask?

The driving was affected in that I was not fully alert. I got away with it today but can appreciate how folks make mistakes when complacency sets in. Naturally I was not told that we were going into the car park to practice reverse parking. It worked well - at the third attempt. I suppose that lamp post was not used much anyway. The rest of the day was not too bad. I did however manage to catch up with missing sleep in the afternoon, although as an ex-postman the 'postman's sleep' is not one easily given up. All over the world posties lie abed when normal folk still struggle through the day. However nowadays they do not get up as early as we used to. I mis those early mornings. The birds rising singing out their songs in Spring long before the world was up, the occasional fox leaving his footprints in the snow in winter, and the thrusting young police officers, glaring at me as I passed, desperate for a crime to fill their empty hours. It is not the same getting up late, around sevenish, and seeing gray clouds and the beginnings of the 'rush hour.'

The bug has limited the things I can be bothered to do. So there is a job or tow to attend to tomorrow, jobs to apply for, windows to open to let air in, and possibly a bath - it is nearly the end of the month - and no doubt other things will arise that need to be ignored.

Well that's wasted a lot of your time. So, to brighten things up here are some quotes for you.


“Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!”
-Lady Astor to Winston Churchill at a dinner party
“Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!”
-Winston Churchill’s response.

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-Moses Hadas

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-Forrest Tucker

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-Mae West

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder

Today

Today I spent catching up on all the things ignored while Malware hunting. Little things like opening the windows to let in fresh air was good, I noticed the mice, fly's and bedbugs were all suffering in the stagnant air. I cleaned a dish or two, put out the rubbish and opened the curtains, suddenly I felt this was a new world!

The driving yesterday was still spinning my little mind. Imagine me driving down the dual carriageway? I walked for a while this morning to see if my legs still worked but I found myself attempting to drive lots of passing cars. Change gear, accelerate, clutch, and so on at every corner. I am not sure if I am beginning to adapt to the car or just stark staring bonkers. (No suggestions please!) Such exercise, the walking not the pseudo driving, was much needed. I have been eating less but not doing enough exercise and I must lose some of this girth. Later I wandered out for a while and in the afternoon I got on the bike and cycled around the industrial estate looking for job adverts (some companies still post them outside the door). They didn't today!

I contacted one or two jobs late this afternoon and await their refusal, and tidied up the mess that is my record of employment seeking. A huge pile of paper represents the companies that do not want me! it was somewhat depressing I must say. Sometimes I wish I had struggled on at Royal Mail, even if it was clearly too much for my knees. Ah well. I am confident that something good will arrive soon.A bit more research tomorrow, a few new directions, and maybe putting an advert in the newsagent window.

Ageing, Lazy, Malcontent
Seeks well paid easy, light, employment.
Must be local, and with free lunches.
Preferably with young brunette to assist.
Call 013 999

Antivirus XP 2008

Just what I needed! This thing arrived on my PC on Saturday as I linked to the Edinburgh Evening News. Now I do not think the News was complicit here, I reckon it got in somehow or other and I was suddenly confronted with several screens. There was 'AVG' informing me of a virus. So I followed the recommendation and hit the 'Heal' button. Then a screen for the 'Antivirus XP 2008' appeared and pretended it was scanning and discovering several thousand bugs! All false of course. At around this time (I am confused as to what came in what order, it was fast and furious) the 'Windows Firewall' appeared telling me it was switched off. I switched it on, and now think this was a false screen from the enemy opening the real Firewall! The PC was running very slowly by now.

I attempted to run AVG but this would not work, the brute had turned it off.
Not knowing what to do I looked on the web for advice. But everything relevant to anti virus took me only to their false screens selling me their offerings. When attempting to get the Microsoft site it gave me the screen associated with not being logged on to the web! I could not get out of this. I also noticed that when I clicked on this blog it came up but with their ads and not the normal 'Google' ones along the top. I was getting nowhere and somewhat peeved.

However, as IE and Firefox were infected I remembered I had downloaded Google Chrome but not installed it as yet. This I found was not affected by the baddies (and does not appear to have been so since.) Through this I could search for help.

I first used Windows One care which scrubbed much, but not all, of this virus. This was useful, but takes over an hour to scan (don't they all). Later I brought down the 'Avast' anti virus which I ran as I restarted the PC. The first time I used it there was one baddy captured, so I 'healed' this. This did not help much. I realised I needed to put the bug into 'The Chest.' So I ran it again as I logged in and this time I put in 'The Chest' all that came up. This worked!

I then used 'Windows One care' plus 'AVG' once more. Time flies when having fun!

Now after all this things are much better but when I log in 'AVG' tells me off a virus, (C:\WINDOWS\syst32\pphc75?0e57v.exe) which I attempt to put it in the vault, but it says 'Access denied.' So I 'heal' it. I find 'Windows One Care' claims the same thing. This happens whenever I start the PC. I do not believe it is healed, and do not know if it is causing problems or looking to pinch details of anything on the PC.

As I write this Windows One Care is running, and suddenly 'AVG' has just told me of three infections. It could not remove them it says, however 'One Care' has also brought two to my attention and so they are 'cleaned' (maybe)! I wonder!

This is a right little blighter (not a word you hear often) and beginning to annoy me. Until I can remove it I am wary as to what it is doing there! How did I let it in? I am sure the firewall was on. From what I read this is difficult to remove, and I write this for your warning. I think it is time I kept a 'Geek' in the spare cupboard. This could go on for ever!

(Later) Fixed the brute!
A good guy suggested the Bleeping Computer and from there I obtained Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware which removed the beast and other things also! I am so happy now!

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However this morning I went driving again. Each week he has a surprise for me, roundabouts, Colchester, and this week - Dual Carriageways! After wandering north and venturing through Sudbury, a town built entirely out of one way systems, we took the twisting road towards Ipswich. That slowed the average speed down I can tell you! Each week there is always one who wants to pass, cannot find an opportunity, and is going all they way with us! When I turn off he follows, glaring and grimacing and gnashing teeth. I do feel for them, but at least only one or two have taken chances and passed us when it was unwise! None today I am glad to say. However, we ended up on the edge of Ipswich and came back home, overtaking lorries and slow drivers at nearly 80 at times! I have overtaken the occasional dustcart and milk float before now, but trying to look several ways at high speed is a novelty! I confess I am still shaking! Done it though.

****************************************

I would mention Scotland's performance in Macedonia, but our friend Redfinger might log on just to laugh! Typical Scotland, the sight of hot sunshine causes them to lie about on the grass and the fact that their opponents don't lie down always fools us! Still, there is hope a plenty, isn't there? Come on, this is Scotland, do you expect success? Tsk!

Driving Essex Roads

Much to my surprise the driving instructor phoned yesterday and offered a lesson today, a bank holiday. Having missed two in a row because I was dying from the ever present filthy bug that refuses to leave me, in spite of medicines, prayer and cursing, I was pleased to have a go! As it was a day off for the world I rather hoped the roads would be empty, wrong! it appears that the day brought many out. Cyclist clubs were found in groups of seven or eight blocking roads wherever they could, motorcyclists, who love the windy roads, gather at Finchenfield, 'England's prettiest village' they say. It is lovely indeed but full of all sorts of bikers filling The Fox,' and I had to go through them. The village contains a pond, ducks, the pub and an overpriced antique shop, and also an ancient bridge over the stream. This I had to cross twice, and you only have priority one way. Naturally as I approached some nyaff shoved through and nearly caught us. As there was only an old wifey on the bridge coming back I didn't bother to slow down - she can swim quite well you know!

For two hours I crunched the gears along these pretty roads, passing all sorts of aged cottages, many thatched, all brightly painted and probably very attractive when the sun shines, and only twice did I come across Mr Impatient. On the first occasion he raced past just as I glanced in the mirror thinking, 'Only a fool would...' and he did! Later I was trailed by a lass in a red 'Micra.' That's a car, not a skirt, and I noticed a sensible gap between up. Then along he came in his black Willie extension and I noticed him force his way between us. This often happens when I am near women. Naturally I thought it was the police, it usually turns out to be. Anyway just as we approached a hill with a bend he went for it. Whether he noticed the car coming over the top I don't know but he made it, just! Already I am amazed at the patience of most who drive and the foolishness of others.

Still, it was fun today. The back streets are enjoyable, although the sharp right and left turns through villages, the cars parked in exactly the worst spots in said places, the occasional tractor and junctions round which it is impossible to see - and not helped when you leave the handbrake on - do keep you awake. I write this simply because since I returned I have still got the road flashing in front of me. Like my life, it takes longer to flash past than it used to.


The picture is found on an excellent site called Rural Roads. Well worth a look.