Finding a Birthday Card is not Easy & Yodel Make me Wait.

With three birthdays arriving soon, and one or two just past, I have had to make the long slow search of suitable cards for each individual.  This as you know is not easy.  The Great Nephew, aged 3 in a week or two, cannot read, does not understand, but forces me to buy a card for him, or mum might say something.

Niece's and great nieces will not object if nothing comes for them on their birthday, though they will remember this!  Therefore I have to have a pile of cards, along with an 'Amazon' voucher included, in the desk.

Naturally, when the birthday approaches none of the cards are suitable.  

Therefore I stand in a shop staring at a vast array of cards, some asking prices that would make a CEO of an electric company jealous, while looking for 'that' card and that one alone.

It is of course not there.

So, we visit one shop, then the other, the first offering a huge shop full of dull, boring cards that grannies are supposed to like  The type you send to people you do not know very well.  This causes me to ask, why then are you sending one?  You leave the shop deflated, refuse to peruse 'W. H. Smith,' voted annually 'the worst shop on the High Street,' and enter the 'Card Factory.'

When this shop first opened it was full of tat.  The cards were mostly unfunny, unless you were still at school or read the 'Sun.'  Otherwise it was cheap and cards marked for 'Mum,' Cousin,' or '3 Today,' type cards.  Also on offer were a variety of cheap gifts of various types.

Recently I noticed the cards have improved, the prices dropped, the ones I bought were £1:49 each, and the quality much better.  The others were still available, as the cheap China made tat, but much better in my view and I bought several to fill the desk with, even though they are not the greatest cards but will do the job for some.  

The young lady at the desk added things up, studied the reading on the screen and told me that as there was 'Buy 2 get one free' on some I could have 3 more cards free.  Naturally I raced back and found 3 more, at which she then totalled up and took my cash.  Note, CASH!  Shops such as this can take cards but many prefer to pay cash.  Some trendy places are dropping the cash bit.  Soon it will arrive here.

Such good staff, not unusual in this town, it does not always occur but many do act very well here.

Now I sit here trapped.  Trapped waiting for the man from Yodel delivering a wee packet.  It is now past 6 pm and no sign of him yet.  He comes from the Ipswich depot, possibly has 500 drops all over middle Essex, and gives me no indication of when he may arrive.  This is unfortunate as most carriers these days at least give a 2 hour gap when they may deliver, not Yodel. Of course the driver, on possibly £3:25  drop, may not be keen to rush about, or else he is working so hard he might have come off the road somewhere.  Yodel are the carrier company that make people use Hermes!  

This is the period of time when I am considering moving through to the west wing and settling down in my bed to watch/read/cogitate/ or encourage somnolence.  Especially after trawling through town looking for cards, being spoken at by two women from the Kirk, and enjoying the delights of almost, but not quite, buying something.  I am ready for the west wing.  

However, as you know I am not one to complain.  I will sit here listening to a podcast of some sort, avoid Twitter wars for a while, and getting agitated by the podcast.  First World problems I suppose.  I am too used to getting what I want easily and grumble when it does not happen.  Tsk!  I need a good slap!

Shopping Delight

I am sure you will all rejoice with me in that in spite of my heavy work schedule I have in fact obtained five, yes five Christmas presents already!  Oh yes I am not sitting around waiting, five lucky people will receive their cheap tat from the local charity shops and think I am doing them a favour!
Just a shame not all can be obtained so easily.
Did I mention my nieces birthday? I wish I had as nobody mentioned it to me!  It was as I glanced at the calendar that I noticed her birthday was ten days before and I ought to do something.  You must remember that I also missed it by several days last year and that she will be getting neurotic in the way women do when birthdays are missed.  This is not surprising as women in their fifties do get neurotic about age, though those turning 30 much more so I find.  So I sent a rude card and enclosed a rude excuse blaming everybody but myself.
She is still not speaking to me...

When I look at the news I note Theresa May has been rebuffed by the EU and she is being decried by members of her party.  Each day it is the same, each day liars demand we 'Keep to the democratic will of the people,' or at least the people who believed the lies they were told and went along with the little englanders and lying politicians while more sensible people indicate the problems that will follow and seek to end the madness.  Each day it is the same yet nothing changes.  I have stopped listening now as there is nothing sensible being said, if it is said it is ignored and the desperation on all sides  merely offers more lies.  And how the media, led by the BBC and Murdoch have failed the people.
While all this goes on 'Universal Credit' the much maligned failing benefit system is still being rolled out, people are not getting their money, they are starving, being evicted and dying and this manslaughter carries on as if it did not matter.  What is happening out there...?
Our local foodbank now has two services running, and this is a Tory area, where is the MP and why has he not investigated?  I know where he is he is trying to find who to link up with as Boris his friend has shot his bolt and now he requires another 'friend' in the House.  This is becoming difficult for him.  As he is now Deputy Party Chairman he has not got time to bother with constituents as he must keep in with the powerful whoever they are.

My packet still has not been collected!

Daily Trials...

 

The problem about having a busy week is the Monday afterwards there is so much to put right around the house.  For a start I had to run up the road for bread at half seven this morning (the term 'run' is not to be taken seriously) then I had to eat, find my head, decide on the plan of action and begin the day slowly.

  

First there was study to get the day going.  This I now decide is not a good idea when half asleep and crumbs from breakfast litter the laptop!  Someone said the morning is the best tim to think, they I assure you were not getting into bed at eleven at night and waking up at five in the morning to listen to the Shipping Forecast!

As I attempted to cogitate i also did the washing.  Note how I call it 'washing!'  This is unusual as these days I have picked up the English way of calling this 'laundry.'  Scots always refer to the 'washing.'  What is the difference, none at all as these days Mr Zanussi does it very well, especially when I remember to put that liquid stuff in.  

 

After this I also hoovered the floor and cleaned the Loo!  Those wire scrubbers come in usefull at a time like this, I suppose I should do that more often...  There again i would not like to get washday hands would I?

 

As I did so I took advantage to read some of the books piled up in there and it was then that I realised it was her birthday.  My great niece is 18 tomorrow, eighteen, my great niece!  18!

It was bad enough her Mum becoming fifty but she is now 18!

At this point I sat on the floor and wet silently as my life passed me by.

Then to make matters worse, if it could be worse, there was no card suitable.  I had to trail out into the great outdoors and search for a cheap card suitable, naturally there was none available so I had to choose something and paid the vast amount of gold coins required.  I also went into the women's clothes shop where a man worked the desk.  Normally I get the girls vouchers for Xmas in here as this pleases the older ones who then feel young and displeases the younger who see mum in their fashion!  The man was not such a man as I thought, his purplish long nails I thought made working the computerised till difficult, he was however efficient, pleasant and helpful which is of course not what I had been finding in the big towns last week.  So armed with my card, my gift card and my debt I returned home and posted off the black envelope.

   

Much of the rest of the day has been researching people.  The boss is trying to find a relative of someone who donated stuff years back so it can be returned or whatever and we have a contact address but from the eighties!  We have been doing our detective work very badly and going round in circles.  I must Google 'How to find people' and see what I can learn.  The family appear to be still alive, there are as yet no death notices around, I just hope they have not emigrated.

 

Then all that remained was to prepare for the morrow.  Gathering everything bar intellect in one place helps me remember what to take with me.  I often forget to pick it up mind, but age does that. 

 

Ah then there was lunchtime! 

 

Now most of the day is like me, done!  It is time to watch football, any football, from anywhere, featuring anybody, good bad or indifferent, just let's relax and do nothing for a while. 

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Administration Day

I am ending the year with some administration.  Paperwork long left lying about has been put to use, calls made and services amended.  Among them is the change from 'TalkTalk' to 'BT Sport' so I can watch Scottish football legally and with a clearer picture than before.
The need to phone Mumbai to speak to someone who does not speak clear English is a nuisance no matter how well educated and willing they may be. Several times I failed to understand her speech, and she sounded irked by this, I know why as I often have that trouble with the folks here.  Still all went through and within the next month bit 'TalkTalk' and 'BT' will work together to cut me off from the web for a long period of time!  Quite when this will be I know not, but it will happen, won't it?
I have run several devices to clean up the laptop and it actually worked! Several things run faster and I suspect I have also mislaid one or two things on the way. I certainly pressed 'block' on one item when I meant to press 'allow' and now I canny unblock the thing!  I can look at email when half the page is missing I suppose.  
Now I note a new calendar lies awaiting my touch.  This one has those old pictures with word balloons added, you know, "I want to open a joint bank account." "Who with?"  "Whoever has lots of money."  It is a woman asking by the way.  Now I must go through this marking in all the birthdays, especially the ones I forgot last time.   Checking carefully to see just how many of these scurvy knaves have given me two dates for their birthday.  That has happened before.  
This calendar is OK in many ways but has two irritating aspects.  One is the unfortunate habit of beginning the week on a Monday, I always begin on Sunday.  The other is the holidays, they are all US! Who needs to know about 'Independence Day?'   Bah!  However with the birthdays marked in I can now forget about them until the time.
The thing about birthdays is the demand to send a card.  So when I can I buy a bundle of suitable cards and store them for the day.  On the day naturally none of them fit the recipient.  They are either all for girlies or all for men of action, the word 'action' need not be taken literally.  So once again I trek round the three or four places to find cheap cards and by the end of the year I have a bundle unused in the desk.  Mind you I have been known to reuse Christmas cards for birthdays, if I am not fussy why should they be I reckon?
The citizens of Edinburgh will be well into their midwinter celebrations by this time, even though midnight is still hours away.  Hogmany will be a big party for many and I suspect somewhere in Leith Mr S. is handing out the households cash via the bar of the 'Sarry Heid.'  In this dark land the area quietens, until the fireworks at midnight that cause so must pain to the town's animals, then a few drunks will despoil the place but most will remain quiet, apart from the ones punching one another 'up the throat,' an activity that has become commonplace after closing time these days.  The reason is simple, there are too few police now, the Tories have cut them and late night revels and punch ups are left to the idiots to sort themselves.  
I am heading for bed come what may.  In the past we went round folks houses having a drink and a party, today Hogmany appears more concerned with drink than party.  The ability to drink without endangering yourself or others is noted less and less it seems to me.  The 'First footing,' the whisky, the 'Black Bun' was all part of things then.  It still is but it appears to me listening to folks that life has changed greatly in the last twenty years.  The days of yore saw parties, conversation and much laughter, although the Latvian's amongst us could not half knock back vodka!  Not me, then or now! I reckon that is the stuff that has kept them going well into their eighties.  Ban it and they might disintegrate. The harder edge to the world has lost much at this time. 
The outside world has gone strangely quiet.  Few cars pass, no one walks, no talk, no cries from the brats in the park, nothing.  They must be rushing home to watch sad TV or are filling the pubs, and few will 'first foot' as they have no idea what that is here.  That reminds me, I musts secure that door...
   

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Sunshine!!!!

For reasons I fail to fathom the sun keeps shining.  Australia is colder than us today!  It is 43% in Perth and 53% in Brisbane, we reach 77% here today and it is past the zenith!  Jings, Crivvens and Help ma Boab Jimmy!   I spent twenty minutes in the sun and found it too hot.  Oh if this can last a few months I will be happy.  I was meant to live in hot places, with a Tesco close by.  
The swifts are racing across the sky chomping on beasties and screeching after one another, doing their best to avoid the police helicopter that has suddenly appeared.  Scattered around the part are half dressed young women, this is fine unless they are fat and insist on wearing shorts!  Worse still are men in shorts, it's not clever and not fashionable, especially at your age mate!  Fat men in T-shirts with ageing messages across the front is one thing, add shorts and it's a no go area.  Fine for the garden, not the street!  
A strong breeze is waving through the trees blasting warm air on everybody, this I assure you is unusual here.  Around the pubs in the town centre the 'continental layout' introduced by the council some years ago features folks sitting chatting at the tables while soaking in the sun and beer.  Whether the continentals fail to hold their drink like the English is a question others can answer.  The English flags that began to spring up a week or two ago have all but disappeared again.  I must check the recycled bins to see if there is one set apart for them alone.  

The gap in the world cup games has been useful, I have caught up on sleep!  I was so tired and feeling worn out that I fell asleep as the extra time began in the USA game the other night.  This half hour turned out to be the best of the tournament!  Typical innit?  The big four teams, all getting through by luck rather than talent, now face each other.  The 'smaller' nations who attempted to play with a bit of swagger are out but the usual crew are through.  Hopefully Belgium, the least of the four, will turn them over and take the cup home.  Any team that manages to beat Scotland deserves to win the World Cup I say!

I am touched by the birthday greetings I have received.  My great niece made a point about being an uncle, then changed it to 'Great Uncle' because I am old. Her Christmas has been spent on Amazon Books but she does not yet know this. Funnily enough I look at the cards and still expect to see one from my mum, yet she died almost five years ago.  How things stick in the mind.  I am grateful for those kind greetings, even though the poison bottle was empty......bah! 

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As if Life was not bad enough....

Today I became 63, now that is old.

I am celebrating with a bottle of this....   

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Political Thoughts

Daily Telegraph

Happy Birthday Maggie!
Happy Birthday from the millions you threw out of work.
Happy Birthday from the folk who lost their jobs as your friends pocketed fat profits.
Happy Birthday from the mental who died on the streets under 'Community Care.'
Happy Birthday from the needless dead in the Falklands.
Happy Birthday from the disabled who had benefits cut.
Happy Birthday from those who lost their houses under your policies.

Have a nice day won't you.  

The Conservative Party, the Party that does not change its spots, whatever they say!  
Note how that nice Mr Romney considers this woman a roll model! 
Be afrain America, be very afraid!


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Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday. What does this mean to you?
Today it means nothing to be frank. I find myself no 56 years of age. 56 years, what have I done with this time? Nothing. What can I find in all that time worth keeping or talking about? Little. There have been good moments, and good people. Good family and good friends. But what have I actually done? What accomplishment can I take to the grave? Nothing! No woman ever wanted to keep this useless bundle of fat. There was only ever one I really wanted to keep anyway, and she left. I am useless at handyman jobs, and find I have been incompetent at most jobs I have worked at. I don't drive, do not understand how to make money, know nothing useful in the complex society in which I dwell. I don't even drive, and am not sure I want to. I have used and abused friends all my life. I treat folks badly. I am loud and obnoxious in most folks view, weak and stupid in my own. Working with folks I find I rub them up the wrong way, either with my 'humour and wit' or annoyance at their lack of desire to share the workload and play fair. Often the fallout comes just because I am a worm. I find myself complaining and girning at most aspects of the world today. The television leaves me struggling to find a programme worth watching, and even then I find too many faults. I am out of step with the worlds ways (just what is a 'blackberry anyway?), and find the fashion of the day worthless in nearly every aspect.

So what is worth it about this life then? I would say God, except I fail even with him. He has called me to come to him for thirty years and still I draw back. I get up to the cross and try to go over, but know I hang back. Why? He has done wonders for me. My broken leg should have hurt, I felt nothing, he has always provided and always cared. Prayer has been answered and the greatest moments of my life have been touching him. Yet I don't love him as others do. Do I love him, or just like him when I feel the need. So much of my life is based on me. Yet there is nothing but Jesus, I know that. Here I am, fifty six, a useless lump, even God cannot get me working properly. Oh yes I forgot, I have no job, and little prospect of one. The band leg doesn't help. if it wasn't for that I would still have one. I notice only two cards have flooded through the door. There may be another one in the post, maybe. Even the family forget, who can blame them. I do nothing for them. Fifty six today. I've never been so happy! I have wasted my life, and now head for old age with little chance, or ability to do anything about it.

I was quite happy before I started to write this................