A Day For Ranting

I've been ranting all day.
It began when I awoke, continued when I browsed the meaninglessness in the papers and continued ceaselessly all day.  I have no idea why!
Maybe it is I am just feeling a bit rough, maybe I need to eat better - the diet is failing - and maybe it is just par for the course.  Anything and everything got me going today.  The laptop started it really.  You see I have been attempting to speed it up and naturally after all my work it goes much slower than ever.  I informed the component parts, the people scribbling advice that I browsed and indeed most of their relatives of my considered thoughts on the matter.  It made no difference.
Later i took a break from the labours of cleaning the sink, it has been some time, and played patience on the laptop.  It is funny how playing this game often allows the thoughts to wander as the requirement to think is not great.  Wandering thoughts made me rant about and too all sorts of people, I am open minded that way.  These subjects were of course important at the time however my mind has managed to forget what such important matters were.
The attempt to finish the ironing, it failed by the way, led me to listen to the radio, then watch things on the TV while doing so.  I soon found things to grumble at, and told both my opinions forceably.  Whoever they were ignored my comments.  Using the BBC iPlayer I watched the 'Sportscene' version of the two big games at the weekend while stuffing grub down my throat.  This led to my opinions on Rangers football club, under several names, being offered freely to the gentlemen on view.  Being recorded on Sunday evening they were unable to hear my wise thoughts and ignored me.  This little problem was not enough to hinder my free expression.
I am reading an excellent Great War book called 'The War the Infantry Knew' by a chap called Dunn.  As he considered the Brigade, then Division, and then Corps staff I found myself sharing much of his opinion of their work ethic also.  If you wish to plan a war go and see what the situation happens to be, a thought that few amongst them appeared to share.   Dunn, in the firing line, made clear his opinions of them.
I have decided I am again suffering something, that explains the rants, the tiredness and the lack of sensible things to say.  I could rant at those who inform us that winter down there begins at 23 degrees and rising while we suffer high winds, rain, and Spring!  But I will not.  I wish them well and go off for a hot toddy....

Bloody Annoyed!

The mobile phone I never use is dead.

I decide to order a new cheap one.  It is useful to have such for emergencies.  

I go back to Virgin Mobile for a cheap one.  I buy it online.

This means cost increased by rip of delivery charge of almost £8. However it will be delivered between 7 - 9 am next morning.

Next morning, I wait.

I wait, I wait, I jump up frequently as the bloke working next door keeps returning to his van for items and giving the impression he is a delivery van.  If he wasn't so big I would tell him what I think.

I wait and wait.  I wait.

After a while I check the delivery notice e-mails again. This time noting a 'track goods' link.  This I check.  It transpires the delivery is not coming via one of the many courier companies with depots in the local area and drivers who known their way around.  Oh no, Virgin send goods via a company based in Cambridge, 50 miles away!!!  Not only the distance, this is YODEL, a badly named company with an atrocious record regarding delivery.  Deliver before 9?  According to the read out he only picked the thing up at 7:44.  

Grrrrrr!

Encouraged by an unsmiling UPS man delivering next door just after 3 pm I held off phoning in.  I had checked the tracking site and noticed a change.  The parcel was now 'with the courier for delivery.'  "He's off home," thought I.  He is now heading for Cambridge and a Friday night pub brawl.  My mood darkened, although outsiders may not have noticed this as I had already began to spit blood.  

After 4 I called in.

"Choose 1 for....." began. 

"Choose ... enter... " wait.

It takes me back to where I was and "Choose 1...."

Having slammed the phone down I thought I would call Virgin themselves.

"Choose..."

I slammed the phone down.

I waited and tried again when in a better mood.

"Choose...." I chose, I waited, I chose, I waited, I endured bloody awful music, I waited, I waited, I slammed the phone down.

I tried Virgin again.......SLAM!!!!

I emailed.

I made a point or two, I made a demand or two, I asked a question or two.

It was late, I got no reply, I expect no parcel tomorrow, I expect a call with words possibly tomorrow, although being Saturday they may not be available, and I expect them to be told where to shove it and give back the cash!  

I fail to understand what is wrong with me these days.  I get so annoyed so easily.  Life improves on one hand and things fall apart on the other.  I am just glad I don't live in a gun toting society.

I may have used one today.

p.s. Just after 10 pm I again look at the tracking to discover the driver 'could not locate.'  He could not locate a road paved by the Romans and in constant use ever since?  Lazy good for nothing!

Right that's that.  let's see something funny for Friday.

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Dull Tuesday

The bright sun that enlivened the world has faded into gray, with added rain.  Quite how we survive in these appaling conditions I fail to understand.  People blessed with constant hot weather sometimes cry out for rain, pffft!  There is no pleasing some people!   This tree however appears pleased to have been here for some time, it reminds me of an Olive tree, surely it can't be, not here?  Judging by the trunks girth it has put on the weight since it first appeared, but how long ago I wonder?  Could it have grown from seeds left by the Roman chappies all those years ago?  Well no, there is a line of them carefully planted.  Are they really Olives or have I drunk too much coffee?

A combination of the lurgi and gray skies forced me to spend the day as a slob, much against my will!  The sleeps I had were purely for medicinal reasons and nothing else.  I fed my aches, looked for my brain and failed to find it, and read blogs that appeal.  I think they will appeal to your twisted intellects also.  Especially Robert's.  This man attempts to write short stories of a mere hundred or so words, and his mind 'meanders' into strange places he says, I think he is right in saying this.  It is worth browsing his blog for a moment.  I am convinced most people would wish to know more.  'Mulled Vine.'

The sight of large fat men and women showing how many pizzas they have stuffed into themselves through the winter has annoyed many of us.  I am quite happy to see thin female flesh in the park but recent days have found the cry "Cap'n Ahab! Thar she blows!" escape my lips just once too often.  Even Edinburgh with the perpetual Haar over the Forth and the gray skies desperate to blight the city has seen blue skies and sunshine I have heard.  This has brought out the chip supper and pizza lovers allowing the famous author Mike Smith to release his feelings on the subject.  This will win him much support, world wide I suspect.  Well not from fat folks.  I declare my interest in this in that I always keep my shirt on!  Read and enjoy 'Auld Reekie Rants.'

If however you wish to see the world in a new way you require a picture blog, of which there are billions!  There is one that gives a fresh eye on London that is always worth a look.  It's called 'Fresh Eye on London.'  Take a gander wontcha!

If however you are merely a man of culture and sophistication then I have discovered a site you dare not miss!  'Railscot.'  Men of culture and sophistication will love it!  

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