A Blonde goes to Heaven

Entrance Exam
 A Blonde goes to Heaven 
 
A Blonde (called Dorothy) was sent on her way to Heaven. Upon arrival, a concerned St Peter met her at the Pearly Gates. 'I'm sorry,' St Peter said; 'But Heaven is suffering from an overload of godly souls and we have been forced to put up an Entrance Exam for new arrivals to ease the burden of Heavenly Arrivals.' 

'That's cool' said the Blonde (called Dorothy) , 'What does the
Entrance Exam consist of?'

'Just three questions' said St Peter.

'Which are?' asked the Blonde.

'The first,' said St Peter, 'is, which two days of the week start with the letter 'T' '? The second is 'How many seconds are there in a year?'

The third is 'What was the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

'Now,' said St Peter, 'Go away and think about those questions and when I call upon you, I shall expect you to have those answers for me.'

So the Blonde (called Dorothy) went away and gave those three questions some considerable thought (I expect you to do the same).

The following morning, St Peter called upon the Blonde and asked if she had considered the questions, to which she replied, 'I have.'

'Well then,' said St Peter, 'Which two days of the week start with the letter T?'

The Blonde (called Dorothy) said, 'Today and Tomorrow.'

St Peter pondered this answer for some time, and decided that indeed the answer can be applied to the question.

'Well then, could I have your answer to the second of the three
questions?' St Peter went on, 'how many seconds in a year?'

The Blonde (called Dorothy) replied, 'Twelve!'

'Only twelve?' exclaimed St Peter, 'How did you arrive at that figure?'

'Easy,' said the Blonde (called Dorothy) , 'there's the second of
January, the second of February, right through to the second of
December, giving a total of twelve seconds.'

St Peter looked at the Blonde (called Dorothy) and said, 'I need some time to consider your answer before I can give you a decision.' And he walked away shaking his head.

A short time later, St Peter returned to the Blonde (called Dorothy) . 'I'll allow the answer to stand, but you need to get the third and final question absolutely correct to be allowed into Heaven. Now, can you tell me the answer to the name of the swagman in Waltzing Matilda?'

The blonde (called Dorothy) replied: 'Of the three questions, I found this the easiest to answer.'

'Really!' exclaimed St Peter, 'And what is the answer?'

'It's Andy.'

'Andy??'

'Yes, Andy,' said the Blonde (called Dorothy) .

This totally floored St Peter, and he paced this way and that,
deliberating the answer. Finally, he could not stand the suspense any longer, and turning to the blonde, asked 'How in God's name did you arrive at THAT answer?'

'Easy' said the Blonde (called Dorothy) , 'Andy sat, Andy watched, Andy waited till his billy boiled.'

And the Blonde (called Dorothy) entered Heaven...


.... you're singing it now, aren't you?? 
 










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Blonde Jokes

Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A: "Are you sure it's mine?"

Q: What does a blonde say after she graduates from college?
A: "Hi, welcome to McDonalds."

Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet?
A: Last year's hide and seek champ.

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A space invader.

Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A: Gifted!

Q: How do blonde braincells die?
A: Alone.

Q: Why did the blonde resolve to have only three children?
A: Because she read that one child out of every four born was Chinese.

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

Q How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's Tipex on the screen.

Q: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the same computer?
A: There's writing on the Tipex.

Q. Did you hear about the blonde man who had 8 vasectomies?
A. He had to -- his wife kept getting pregnant!

Blonde