Victory V

I handed a spool into the chemist to have it developed today and saw these sweets on the counter. I have not seen these around for years and here they were in probably the only shop to stock them these days.

As a kid we were given these occasionally and suffered the heat they gave off with good grace and much noise! I found today that they were not anything like as strong as I remember and I wonder if that is just because I am somewhat larger today or if they have altered the recipe in some way.

It would not be the first time an alteration has taken place, in the nineteenth century the sweets contained chloroform! It was not possible to buy more than a quarter pound of them because people took too many and passed out! While this is no longer the case many folks found them far too strong for their taste and only 'real men' ever ate more than one at a time. Of course they suffered and folks kept well away from their breath for good reason!

They are widely available online from The Sugar Boy and elsewhere.

Adverts

While wondering what illegal drug some young flash Harry in the advertising office had been shoving up his nose I watched his latest car ad on the telly. Car ads, as you know, tell you nothing about the car, but lots about the small willy possessed by the man who is looking to buy! The car is hoisted on balloons, or melts like mercury across the screen, maybe it drives across the Nevada desert and is driven by handsome (white) well heeled males who are going places. Soon hopefully! The cretin, pushing his baseball cap to the back of his head and tossing a banana peel out the window, has watched those ads and now while trudging along in the fog at six miles an hour, alongside the many similar oiks, dreams he is in Nevada somewhere. The advert has satisfied his mind and taken from him all reality.

It was ever thus! Adverts are not there to tell the truth, they of course only want to sell! This Guinness one certainly did, the slogan supposedly coming from a man who answered the question,"Why do you drink it?" With the answer "Because it is good for me." His wife, seeing him carried home and dumped in the front garden, had other ideas I bet, especially when his liver gave out and he passed on leaving her "£7.10 shillings in insurance money. (If that happened of course....) In recent years the ad was dropped because the law was tightened up, and not before time, to end much of the deceit practised on us by advertisers. There being no proof that Guinness actually is 'Good for you,' the slogan was dropped. A shame as no-one really believed that anyway. Well apart form several million Irish drunks of course. Today Guinness ads make no sense whatsoever as they strive to replace the old generation of drinkers with a new younger set more used to the feeble lager and invented alcohol products designed by Mammon loving brewers and sought after by dunderheads.

I like the old poster adverts, they always appear to me to be better drawn and more enticing, even if I remain unconvinced about spending my coppers on the product offered. We think we are not motivated by them yet, years later, we remember the slogans or tunes that accompany telly adverts, and the posters remain deep within our memory.

"You'll wonder where the yellow went,
when you brush your teeth with 'Pepsodent."

I often wondered where 'Pepsodent' went myself. Nobody as ever told me. The sound has remained with me, and we did buy the stuff when I was still finding difficulty in beginning the joined up writing at school. Mind you I was 34 by then.

The change in the law, I think I am right in saying it was the '196o Trades Description Act,' but I am willing to be proved wrong stopped many a false advert from ripping of the gullible. One trick was to advertise "Cup Final Seats," in the classifieds, and folk would send of their ten shillings expecting a ticket for the Cup Final, a great day out for the Englishman in the fifties. They would be somewhat nonplussed to receive a small stool with "Cup Final," written on it. But it was a 'Cup Final Seat'! For a year or two I worked (Ha!) for the Advertising Standards Authority, an organisation that to some extent reduces the misleading nature of many adverts but is in truth is a waste of space. Complaints arrive once the ads have appeared, and by the time an adjudication is arrived at the ad has run its course, profits have been made and a mere warning is issued. In theory individuals can be barred from placing adverts but the organisation does not go to court to fight such people, leaving that up to the Trading Standards folk, so it is in many respects useless! Most of the girls were nice mind you, young, attractive and intelligent, just how I like them! However, possibly a point connected to their intelligence, they did not like me as I am! How insensitive of them I say. I do dislike it when young lassies refer to me as 'Dad' or 'Uncle!'

Healthy Eating

I am all for healthy eating! Being, what my doctor described as a "Fat slob," I understand the need for care in the diet. However this word crossed my path a short time ago, 'Tunnocks Caramel Log!' Immediately I was transported back to my youth a few short years ago. The very good remembrance of caramel logs being stuffed in my fat gob has never left me. Tunnocks, as some may well know, are responsible for more tooth decay in Scotland than any other company! Their wide range of products are chomped on worldwide, and many a dentist has grown rich on his patients love of the Uddingston giants.

All Scots kids develop the sweet tooth by beginning on a Tea Cake or two as a treat, brought out when visitors are in, and progress onto Caramel Wafers and Caramel logs, often suffering the Snowballs on they way. Oh let me suffer mother!!!! It is possible to buy these lovely products worldwide, especially now the internet has changed shopping habits. Several companies at home and abroad make vast profits from the exiled Scots nostalgia for trips to the NHS dentist. I remember the needle being inserted while the dentist muttered, "This will not hurt a bit, be a good soldier." I assure you he lied! Tunnocks were of course not the only people to cash in on the sweet tooth. I once took to a cheap chewing gum and happily received seven fillings because of this disgusting habit! Now all chewing gums and many soft drinks, use Aspartame, a substance with a dubious record, instead of sugar, the products often advertised as 'sugar free.'
I recommend a web search on this product as it is used by so many products and little information regarding the possible problems comes to our attention. I would rather have sugar myself!

The Scots childs love of sweets and the adults love of drink and chips helps make the nation one of the unhealthiest in the world! I suppose having such dreich weather does not help. The idea of cold mackerel and salad while the dark gray clouds unleash heavy drops of cold rain rarely appeals as much as spam fritters and chips, with a whisky follower! Not that I would know of course, I am only going of what others tell me here. However when I left Edinburgh's gray skies in 1975, the sun shone that day and I, grasping the money collected for me by my work colleagues - enough for a one way trip to London - I left a society in which red and green peppers were considered 'exotic. Such things really were unknown outside of the middle class shops we could never afford (start playing the violins now). Until the Patels came flooding in from West Africa in 1973 Edinburgh shops still worked a simple routine. They opened at 9, closed from 12 - 1 and closed sharp at 5 p.m. like it or not! The Pakis, as we then called them (well except Mr Khayam, "I'm an Indian, not a bloody Paki!" and being 6'2" and a very good customer in the cash & carry I worked, we submitted to his will) opened their shops from 8 a.m. and did not close till 6 in the evening, one staying open until 7. This small change in the approach revolutionised Edinburgh and it has never looked back. We owe such Pa...Asians, a great deal! However, in spite of tropical fruits and veg, Scots are just as fat as everybody else.

But while I agree with a better 'Veg filled' diet, honest, I have to say that as long as Caramel Logs exist, I will want to eat them! Bring them on I say!

Steam Trains

Isn't this a great picture? What's not to love about a great big steam engine storming up the tracks belching out great clouds of steam? Great isn't it!

I reckon this train is running from Fort William to Mallaig, a journey I went on some years ago. Wonderful experience hanging out the window attempting to take pictures. Not so wonderful taking the bits of soot out of the eye mind you! Once that stuff gets into your hair it hangs about for days. Enjoyable however. There was nothing but a little fishing harbour at journeys end, and a great view of Skye and other islands. Great place when the sun shines.

The steam train was one of the great events of the nineteenth century, changing indeed shaping, the face of the United Kingdom! The engineers like Stephenson had no problems wit demolishing castles at places like Newcastle and Berwick. They were in the way so were removed! Bridges and viaducts were built and cuttings and high banks were made by pick and shovel and hard, hard graft, mostly fuelled by beer as the water was often unhealthy! Admittedly many dug into the earth and buried themselves alive, or fell of viaducts and killed themselves, over 90 I believe died building the Forth Bridge alone. Health and Safety today is run by little corporals with small willies, in the nineteenth century such folks were also left in the foundations of the line! We have much to learn I think.... Gangs of Navvies roamed the land, scaring the locals, working for their favoured engineers. Stephenson, Brunel or Peto laid out the line and hired the men to bring the plans to life, Peto in particular was popular with his men, paying them weekly, not cheating them regarding food supplies, and giving them water and oats instead of beer, but they loved him nevertheless.

Life was altered by the train. Fresh food was brought quickly to town centres from the farms, seeds brought from all parts of the world escaped from botanic gardens and caught up in train wheels travelled the length of the land, people took advantage of the new day holidays to reach the coast bringing places like Blackpool into existence, clocks which were set at local time were synchronised business flourished in the days 'Britain (the racists called it England) was the workshop of the world.' We would be a different world if the train had not been developed. The engineers went world wide taking their navvies with them. Argentina had the railway built for free, but the railway was given the land alongside, so towns were developed and the masses of cattle transported creating wealth for many. Now it is possible to find many called, O'Higgins or even Pedro Manuel McCallister playing football in many parts of South America,a game brought along with the railways. Argentina herself is a very 'British' Latin American land - as if I would know from here! The railway changed the world however the much more effective diesel and electric trains will never have the romance and affection a thundering, whistling steam engine creates in those who come across them today. How I miss them!

Leith

The weather today was cold, very cold. The sky was dull gray and little white drops, not quite snow and yet not large enough to be sleet, slowly dropped from the sky. naturally one thing came to mind - Leith! let's face it, this is Leith weather!

I have many memories of Leith as in the fifties Saturday was Edinburgh's early closing day, Leith had their half day on Wednesday so Mum would do her shopping there. I went along. We could get the bus straight down the road into the dark four storey buildings of Junction Street. At that time the Kirkgate was a dingy old street awaiting redevelopment. The new breed of hope filled architects were desperate to remove the slum housing and give the people decent accommodation. In the rush many decent homes were created, and I benefited from a 'Miller' built stair for one, but alas too many nice we boxes were built without understanding the people who would inhabit them. Now we realise, too late, that renovation was better for such places. While the old Kirkgate was decrepit the New Kirkgate, with its shopping centre and small tower block, may be approved by the health and safety people but it has no character! The populace were of course proud Leithers not Edinburgh folk by the way. Leith remained a separate burgh until 1926.

I began work there in 1966 as a fifteen year old office boy, or 'useless idiot' as the straight talking folk there would say. This I have to say is a talent I have developed so well I may ask for an Arts Council Grant and make my fortune! I began my career as a failure in a whisky bond, one of many that were then found in Leith. These were dour 'Calvinist' faced places, constructed of large stone blocks,with iron bars in every window, locked doors, wooden floors and stairs, very much products of the nineteenth century. These buildings were filled with whisky in vats, Hogshead barrels, and thousands of bottles stored in cases floor upon floor. With the cardboard for the boxes to add to the congested area it is easy to see how these places were death traps.

Our bond was smaller than the one shown in the picture, but the idea was the same. Most bottled the whisky on the premises as we did, some blended it also. Our goods were destined for South Africa, the USA and to anyone with the cash to pay! Distillers are not prejudiced where money is concerned. The death trap is sadly a truth. In 1960 a large bonded warehouse in Glasgow caught fire and resulted in the deaths of nineteen firemen! The firemen just up the road from us had this thought in their minds constantly I reckon.

Of course some things helped remind them of the dangers of their job and our building. Now one of my jobs at that time was testing the fire alarms. This entailed phoning MacDonald Road Fire Station and letting them know I was about to run the test. "Aye right son," would come a somewhat tired voice, and then I would open the box and pull all the buttons out. "OK, right son!" the voice would say, and that was that. One day, not long after other firemen died during the course of their duty, I opened the alarm box at the right time, pulled several bell levers and stopped. I had forgotten to ring the firemen! I rang. This time there was no tired voice, just a man standing up and saying, in an alert and 'just in control of his words' voice, "Don't do that again son!"
I didn't!

The warehouses as you can see have all been developed into overpriced flats. The typical Leith folk have been edged out and a new, trendy type, is now found taking drugs in the pubs and the new cafe's and bars that have sprung up. I doubt however they will have many sitting outside today! The old public houses where workers, sailors and some extremely rough types, and I mean rough, used to carouse now are meeting places for 'Rory' and his friends. I think myself I preferred the chaps just of the ships!

The picture by the way (© 2003 Edinburgh-Scotland.net) comes from this excellent site!
I recommend a look if you wish to visit Edinburgh one day. http://www.edinburgh-scotland.net

Fashion

I was thinking today about my desperate desire to obtain the purple corduroy, safari jacket that once meant so much to me. I wished to add it to the maroon cords that I wore in days gone by. It seemed just right at the time. However I could never afford the £5:10/- that the jacket would cost. My hopes were dashed as I was only earning £7 at the most in those days. I yearned for years for that jacket, and sometimes, while howling at the moon I still do. A decent jacket is the only item of clothing that really matters to a man, and once he has the right jacket, with the right number of pockets (and why oh why is there never TWO inside pockets in a jacket), life is perfect. Men who fuss about other items of apparel are either under thirty, worried about getting old, or just very sad. The desire to appeal to the fashion conscious of today has long since slipped my memory, as anyone who meets me can tell. Some appear willing to go out of their way to indicate this!

I was listening to Joe Caulfield's show from last night, and very funny she is too, but it was interesting how she, and the women in the audience, thought the number of comments about fashion and relationships were funny! Joe often makes humour out of women's fascination with clothes! I mean, how can you find so many jokes about getting ready to go out? All you do is get ready, but no, a woman has to go to a friends, and get dressed there. No man would even think of this! Relationships, yes OK in their place, but don't go on about it. Some years ago a lass I worked with displayed the girls attitude to clothes well. Her man pointed out he had two pair of trousers, a jacket and a suit. She had three wardrobes! When the kids came along this lessened, but then the girls developed the same habit. He never changed, and probably still has the suit!

Anyway, 2007 has not provided me with much, and I cannot even fond the cord these days! I did eventually find some, not quite the same 'jeans' design, and costing £34! However M & S appear to have the correct thing. I bet they are expensive! I think it is time to wander round the charity shops again.