Showing posts with label String. Show all posts
Showing posts with label String. Show all posts

Monday 11 June 2018

String


A piece of string.
This is the one used by Kim Jong-Un on the end of which he keeps the President of the United States of America.
Sleep safe in your beds people...


Tuesday 27 October 2009

String


How long is a piece of string? No that is not a statement about my Chinese mate, it is a question, a question that ought to ask, "Where is my piece of string?" You see we all have that piece of string in a drawer, kept there 'in case it is needed.' Now I know that I have a small white string bundle somewhere in the house and yet it has disappeared! I know it is there, I can remember it sitting there, unused, and asking 'Do we need this?' Yes is the answer because there will always be a time that piece of string comes in useful.
Now is such a time!
You see the plant on the window has one branch shooting far out to the side. This requires a piece of string to haul it back closer to the centre . I ought to have done this a long time ago I admit but failed to realise until too late the danger of the shoot heading of to the far wall instead of the ceiling. Now when I take action I fear it may be too late! However if I do not find the piece of string I may never know.

I have found several small black plastic containers that once held film for the camera, lots of black plastic 'ties' too short for the purpose and a few large yellow ones that are just as useless. There is a very small white piece of soap in the shape of a pig, and a red, green and yellow marble that I use as a 'spirit level,' but no string. There is also an inordinate amount of dust. Possibly someone, or something, has died there in times past? The small white length of string, tied in a red Royal Mail rubber band, should be in this drawer but isn't, which means it can only be found in the tool box. While cutting my fingers on blunt, rusty sharp edges, and shoveling rather too many loose small nails aside I find no string but a tube of, used once, superglue which will not open. Isn't it always the way? Withdrawing my bloodied fingers I rummage in the only other drawer that would contain the string, leaving little red blotches on the papers, books and the so rarely used camera equipment found there, and find no string! I did however find a 400 ISO film with a 'use by' date of 10/2007, and a map of Slough. No, I don't know either!

It is one of life's little laws that if you do not want any string you will find plenty. All I require is a short piece of string, no more than two feet in length (stick the metrics you folk) and I can only find biodegradable rubber bands, and they will not do the job. It looks like my Triffid will continue to head for the wall instead of the ceiling all because of the piece of string! If it ever turns up I will force it to feed the plant and rush out and buy a whole new ball of string which I shall keep in my pocket until I need it!