Cartridge Replacement

 

 

Early this morning I trooped off to Tesco, I had no choice.  Milk and bread was low and the colour toner in the printer had died.  It died while producing the last page of my days work leaving the last page, the one with the colour picture on the top, looking like it had been dragged through a hedge backwards.  Typical of my life these days.

So I picked up the needful, took the stair escalator up to the top floor, found the empty cartridge stand (please take this caqrd to the checkout and wait forever while a member of staff collects this froma  store somewhere in the depths of the building).  I took the appropriate card '300' 'Colour' and limped down the stairs to the checkout.

Linda, the helpful as always lass, too the card and gave it to the man who was doing all the running for her this morning.  Later, much later, he returned, she scanned the item (I was using the dangerous 'self service' ones) and popped the cartridge in my bag.  Good service as always, though she had to return and help me pay for it as the machine would not let me. 'Help is coming' he lied!  

Thrilled to be back home in one piece, thrilled I had what I required, thrilled I placed the cartridge on the printer to await insertion, and then on the cartridge in big black letters I saw the word 'BLACK.'

I sobbed for a few minutes.  

 

Having breakfasted on two unhealthy bacon rolls (stale and must be used up) I decided to keep the black toner and head up the road to Sainsburys and find a colour one.  No point in using Tesco again, too much fuss, it would take to long, the girl would be embarassed, and in the store, hands covered in hand sanitizer, enough for a days shopping I say, I found the colour ones available for £18 each.  A set of balck and colour ones were also available, for £40!  I took two colour, using the card hides the cost, and wondered about the price of the other set!  Now back home, in time for lunch, a time to peruse the things I ought to have been doing today and wonder if they will ever get done, I now await what next will go wrong.

Ah I have to insert the colour toner...

 

The cartidge came out of its wee plastic wrapping, eventually, out of the box, out of the foil wrapper and after removing the sticky protective bit I removed the old and inserted the new.

Would not work!

Ten minutes of removing and replacing both cartidges later it all worked, once I had switched it off and on again!  Now it works OK, all is well.  However as I was about to print the next batch of research I noticed a fault.  I had to go through all I had done previously and make use of a pen to amend things.  There is not enough paper left to redo them all.  This will be finished tomorrow, I will be finished long before then!  Bah!

 

I note Boris has got his latest Bill through the house, the one where he overrides Devolution and attempts to kill Scotland.  Many Tory MPs objected and threatened this and that - few bothered on the day however.  Any Bill that justofies breaking the law must be a sign of corruption, this however is so common these days few notice and no Tory in the House will oppose it.  English members on all sides will support killing Scotland, they know England requires Scotland's money to survive. 

Saturday Joy

 

The syncopated Christmas rhythms continued apace today as the brass played and the choirs sang.  Crowds passed by, some stood and watched occasionally joining in while others sped around elbowing towards a complete Christmas shop.  

I put my fingers in my ears and wished I had my 'Bah Humbug!' hat with me.   

I searched upstairs in Tesco for the item I needed urgently.  Last night while drifting off to sleep I made a note to remember this when in there this morning.  I forgot.  So there was I in Tesco scouring around upstairs searching the toys, the stationery, the handyman items all in a vain effort to remember what it was I forgot to note as I could not remember it now.  Only while searching the 'reduced price' box did it come to mind -ink for the printer! 
I had seen some the other day while in but was not sure of the number.  Did I require 300 or 301?  So I stood once again in Tesco wondering which I required.  I plumped for 300 hoping it was the right double pack of Colour and Black ink.  It was!  How glad I was while at home realising my brainw as much better than I had deduced.
As I opened the drawer where such stuff is kept I found both an unused double pack and the colour ink from the previous set!  I forgot to look in the drawer....

Now as you know I am not one to complain however once again...

So I got up this morning at th usual six thirty, glanced at the blue sky outside, switched of the alarm, rose slowley and looked in the mirror to check I was still alive. A strange gray face stared back at me and for a moment I wondered who this was, then realised I was looking at a black and white photo of my late aunt. I am not at my best early on.....

After a cup of rotten 'Fairtrade' coffee I looked at the gear shift on the bike. A few moments maniplutation and it fell apart completly in my hands. Engineering was never my thing, I'm more of a 'buy a new one' type of fella. Remember if you will the time I made my intention of fixing the electric socket and was confronted by two neighbours making fire engine noises and understand my levels of ham fistedness can reach proportions Michael Crawford would fail to equal! However the effort was made so I cursed it in love and retired to attend to breakfast. That was rotten also!

So later, with a smile and joy in my heart, I headed for the shops to spend more cash I don't have on a black cartridge for the printer. This was acquired at high cost from Argos, and leaving me peeved at the price, and soon I was struggling, amid foul oaths, to push it into the appropriate slot. Once done the blessed machine insisted the colour ink was 'incompatible!' "Incompatible," I asked? "Yes," It replied. "HOW COME IT IS 'INCOMPATIBLE' WHEN IT IS ONE OF HP'S OWN CARTRIDGES THAT WAS WORKING FINE THE OTHER DAY?" I requested. "Incompatible," it said like a call centre employee reading the script. I screwed up the various packing material and stopped myself stuffing it in the printer by sheer will power. I wanted to speak to one of the HP employees and inform him of my thoughts but do not have a number. I searched online for an answer THAT DOES NOT EXIST and the blessed thing will not print even the black words unless the colour is also working.

Excuse me once again...

Typical Idiot!

Of course it had to happen! There I was, washing down the skirting board that was last cleaned when Maggie Thatcher was still kicking people out of work, and lo! There was the answer! I had moved the cupboard on which stands the non working printer, and noticed the cable had worked loose.

Now, apart from struggling (still) to fix the 'No Audio Device' problem, I also had to work out why the PC would not accept the 'All in One' Printer existed. This meant a trawl, long and arduous for a non geek, through the HP website. I spent a short eternity downloading drivers that I thought were going to update the thing, no they didn't. On top of which I wandered through the web looking for help. Non came.

Several days later I discover it was the cable coming loose when I had to shift everything to get the PC back in place. This is going in my new book, 'How to be an Idiot.' maybe however I would be better calling it, 'The Diary of an Idiot,' and just putting down the day by day acts of folly that cling so close? You ask why I gave up working on hospital wards do you......?