Thoughts to Ponder

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.

You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

God must love stupid people; He made so many.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!

Procrastinate Now!

I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

They call it PMS because MadCow Disease was already taken.

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless dead.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Ham and eggs. A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

"What is the point of this Blog? What am I trying to say?"

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Gentle Thoughts for Today:

·         Birds of a feather flock together, and then crap on your car.

·         A penny saved is a government oversight.

·         The real art of conversation is not only to  say the right thing at the right time, but also to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.

·         The older you get, the tougher it is to lose  weight, because by then your body and your fat have gotten to be really good  friends.

·         The easiest way to find something lost  around the house is to buy a replacement.

·         He who hesitates is probably right.

·         Did you ever notice: The Roman Numerals for  forty (40) are  XL.

·         If you think there is good in everybody, you  haven't met everybody.  

·         If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

·         Ageing: Eventually you will reach a point  when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.

·         You know you are getting old when everything  either dries up or leaks.

·         One of the many things no one tells you  about ageing is that it is such a nice change from being young.  Ah, being  young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable..

·         First you forget names, then you forget  faces. Then you forget to pull up your zip....  It's worse when you forget to pull it down..

·         Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground  with sticks, it was called witchcraft.  Today, it's called golf.

·         Lord, Keep your arm around my shoulder and  your hand over my mouth

Some thoughts

... I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing.
.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
.. Procrastinate Now!

... God must love stupid people; He made so many.
.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me.