Dull Autumn

Not much else t say to that.  Clouds, rain, sunshine, warmth, cold, usual autumn weather. Dull mind also therefore I give you an old joke.


THE AFGHAN FOOTBALLER


The  Glasgow Rangers’ manager flies to  Kabul  to watch a young Afghani play football, is suitably impressed and arranges for him to come over.
Two weeks later Rangers are 4-0 down to Celtic with only 20 minutes left, the manager gives the young Afghani striker the nod and on he goes.
The lad is a sensation, scores 5 goals in 20 minutes and wins the game for Rangers. The fans are delighted, the players and coaches are delighted and the media love the new star. When the player comes off the pitch he phones his mum to tell her about his first day in Scottish football.
‘Hello mum, guess what?’ he says ‘I played for 20 minutes today, we were 4-0 down but I scored 5 and we won. Everybody loves me, the fans, the media, they all love me.’
‘Wonderful,’ says his mum, ‘Let me tell you about my day.
Your father got shot in the street, your sister and I were ambushed and assaulted, your brother has joined a gang of looters and all while you tell me that you were having a great time.’
The young lad is very upset. ‘What can I say mum, but I’m really sorry.’


‘Sorry?!!!   Sorry?!!!’   says his mum,
‘It’s your bloody fault we came to Glasgow in the first place!’


That joke was NOT stolen from 'The Ben Lomond Free Press.'






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Police Box

This Police Box pictured here stands somewhere in Edinburgh. I came across it on a site full of Glasgow Police Box's. A great site!
These blue boxes used to be found everywhere and were first erected in 1928, soon spreading throughout the nation. They were much used by the bobby on the beat to keep in touch with his station, report any action, long before personal wireless and sat navs, beat up recalcitrant prisoners and have a fly smoke. Policemen were six feet two at least until Thatcher decided to lower the height restriction, thus enabling an increase in police numbers. My dad was refused entry after the war because he was nearly an inch too short! This was a pity as he would have been an ideal 'Dixon of Dock Green,' helping old ladies across the road and smacking neds around the head in those happier pre-PC days!
The box contained little bar a chair and a desk, a duster or two and a feeble electric fire. The light on the top would flash to inform the bobby that he was to contact the station. This he did via the phone linked direct to his home base.

The phone was also used by the public. Until the sixties (remember them?) the majority did not have phones or cars, and all the other trappings of a wealthy society. Trappings which today include obesity, tabloid celebrities and puerile television! The public could call for 'Fire, Police or Ambulance via the Police Box if there was no public phone box nearby. However while this must have been abused by passing drunks on occasion it was often misused by little boys from the school nearby. My school was one such! Personally I never got involved with such activities but at least one lad was renown for his larks. On more than one occasion we learned the police had received a call the 'The skools on fire!' from a lying fun filled brat. Our information came from the class door opening and the boys name being called out in stern tones. 'You, Headmasters office now!' I saw him lurking in 'The Goblet' one evening when I was about 19 although we didn't speak. Next I heard of him was his death being announced in the columns of the 'Evening News.' My mother, like women in that city, keeping note of everyone we knew via the 'Births, Marriage and Deaths' notices of said paper. No reason given for the death, so an early drug death is what comes to mind. He must have been 21.

Using the Police Box as 'The Tardis' in 'Dr Who' may well have been a brainwave in the early sixties, but how many brats understand the significance today? The 'Time and Relative Dimension In Space' machine is certainly a useful way to improve upon the Police Box of yesterday. None are used by our 'Boys in Blue' today as the radio controlled, fast car approach is a wonderful help in reducing the crime that we see all around us, if they turn up that is. Other disused police boxes have been removed and sold to those who like such things in their (large) gardens for use a sheds, many have become coffee stalls, one called 'Coppuchino,' and it must be said, considerably cheaper than Starbucks I would assume. I bet the service is cheerier!