The Morning Shift

 

I hobbled slowly up to the bank just after it opened the doors this morning and made to place a cheque in the 'paying in machine.'  A woman approached wearing a face a doctor's receptionist would be proud off.  

"Yew paying in?" she asked. 

"er, yes," muttered I.

She grabbed the cheque and examined the signature closely while the other staff glared on from a distance.  The vixen passed the cheque around the others who slowly examined the small piece of paper.  

"It looks almost genuine," one whispered.

"Him, paying in?" said another.

In the corner a customer mumbled to the clerk at the 'Information Desk,' "It looks dodgy to me, he has never been seen inside this place before."

The clerk agreed, but added, "However, I have only been working here ten years."

After a quick call to a stunned 'Bank Interpol' service I was allowed to proceed, though the woman with 'Stasi' in her blood did indicate she was watching.  Indeed she was, and soon made clear it the machine would not work while I was doing it  upside down.  Why are self service machines so difficult?

I made for the door, eyes watching me, some red amongst them, others white with little black spots in the centre, I took the opportunity to hide among the early morning throng.  I did notice two men across the way stare at me as I left the bank doorway, "What was he doing there?" one mouthed.

I sauntered through the townscape.  The sun shone brightly, those avoiding the market day crowd sauntered also, mostly in my path I noticed.  Few stalls were seen, though many regulars take holidays in the sunny parts of the world at this time of year.  Push chairs pushed past, invalid carriages also, a dog was walked through the town dreaming of fields and trees, and children were locked in school to everyone's enjoyment.

I felt free.

On my way back to my abode I dared to enter Sainsburys on a Wednesday after 9 am.  I was pleasantly surprised to find the hordes had not in fact gathered there already, it was not quiet but it was almost safe.  Safe that is bar the men not used to trolleys and the women who used them as weapons.  

The security man greeted me with his usual smile, one learned while serving in the Kings Own Royal Deserters, ran that electric weapon searcher up and down me and waved a pair of handcuffs in my face.  

I think he was telling me something. 

I browsed the grossly overpriced fruit and veg, avoiding fingering any in case they made me pay for the stuff.  Dodging two grimacing men facing one another down in the narrow space between the shelving and a staff trolley, and I headed for the meat.  

There was lots of it and the prices were fabulous.  I decided instead to take a walk out to a farm and kill a cow at the weekend, chop it up and shove it in the freezer.  Hard work, but less hard work than paying the prices Sainsburys wish to charge.

Was it Sainsburys or Tesco whose shareholders voted against a pay rise for the staff recently?  One of them gave their staff a box of 'Quality Street' chocolates as a Christmas gift!  As they sell at £4 a time and cost the store considerably less I am amazed at the generosity!  

Carrying a basket enables me to avoid the slow, old people that hinder so much in supermarkets.  Thus I collected the needful and headed for the checkout.  Alas!  The aged population had queued up, blocking the main passageway ignorantly.  This is not surprising from a generation that always considered themselves before anyone else, and so I went off and joined the other young people like myself at the self service tills.  

The young lass, who I had not seen before, was quick to aid those requiring help, even though she at first offered a visage fit for those seen sitting behind Tory Prime Ministers at PMQs.  While we passed items across the pinging till she amused herself by dreaming of her boyfriends/better job/bank balance/way of escape, until a cry of help was uttered.  I think I would rather sit at a checkout that be forced to run back and forward from one till to another constantly as in this job.

Once she had cleared my mistakes, once the security man had ceased glaring at me from across the hall, I moved out into the cold sunshine and braved crossing the by now, full car park.  Dodging the man with the trolley that did not go in the direction he was going, avoided the woman in the red car putting makeup on her face while the car moved, and stopping to allow an ungrateful couple pass with their pushchair, I halted to catch the sun above the church.  

Naturally it comes out dark, that's what happens when you point the camera at the bright sunshine, but I like it and do not have many other opportunities on days like this.

Back home, while the sun hid itself behind cloud and the temperature dropped like a stone, I concentrated on things that mattered.  So, I slept, ate, slept and ate.  Seems good to me.  My knees agreed, and we have decided not to wander out again until Friday or Saturday, and spend the time available doing things that matter.  

So, not much will be done this week again...

Friday Frippary

The tingle in my toe indicates I sit around too much, similar tingles in my fingers indicate repetitive strain injury caused by too much time playing solitaire working on this laptop.  Therefore more walking and exercise is required, but this aches the knees, it doesn't do much for the back either.  However, this morning I crossed the park, wandered the long way, that is another five minutes, through the town, and limped home hungry for lunch.

This afternoon I returned the empty beer vinegar bottles to the recycling bins at the supermarket, with great difficulty.  For a start the bag appeared heavy for some reason, and the actual bins had not been emptied.  The lids were bursting open, bags crammed with bottles lay all around, beer bottles, wine bottles, spirits of many kind bottles, all stood to attention awaiting disposal in amongst the discarded plastic bags and broken chips of glass that always lies everywhere here.  At least people are trying to recycle and save the planet.  

Having added my bag to the flock I meandered towards the bank, took cash from the 'Hole in the Wall,' and marvelled at how easy this was.  In times past Scots banks were not keen on customers, after all, they had work to do, so they opened at 9:30, closed for an hour at lunchtime, and closed again to the public at 3:30. These are all ideal times for the man in the street to make use of a bank!  Today I just inserted the card, pressed numbers, pressed another couple of buttons and money appeared from the wall. This is great!  

I wonder who the card belonged to?

Anyway, I hobbled down the road passing many mum's returning the kids from the schools, crossed the park once again and amazingly sat on a bench to enjoy the warmth of the day!  It was heading towards 70ish degrees today.  Short sleeves abounded, women putting their noses in the air expecting all men to admire them, I look the other way to annoy them, all around the unexpected relief that summer might be nearing.  Ha!  I thought it was getting cloudy now, the weather man has promised rain tonight!  Typical.

 

 

Sadly the local elections turned out to be disappointing for us all.  While the Tories lost heavily it was clear they did not lose heavily enough.  Worse, many continued to vote for them, in spite of the mess they are leaving us.  Labour have done well in Scotland, but elsewhere they have gained many local seats but not enough to encourage hope in a general election.  Boris may yet try for an early general election if he thinks he will gain enough of a winning margin.  I doubt this however.  There again there was not sufficient displeasure amongst the faithful to call for his removal, but underneath the ground is shifting.

 

 

My day of excitement will end with the second leg of Inverness Caledonian v Partick Thistle tonight.  The play-off time is here again and always to be welcomed.  The first legs are not always so enjoyable, however, when the game is there to be won in the second leg it gets interesting.  These are good games to watch.  However, not all is good in Scottish football, last nght the blue bigots won through to the final of a European competition.  This is sad news to me.  The last thing we need is the sectarian pair getting more cash, they will waste it on themselves and continue to spurn Scottish football. This is not a good moment for Scotland.

 

Payout

Having been kept inside for much of the week by the Lurgi I only ventured as far as the supermarkets, which is indeed not far at all.  However twice today I wandered further, wondering why my knees ached, and even went to the 'hole in the wall' to grasp money.
I entered the details and the machine went through the process until I pushed the £100 button.
"Are you sure?"  It asked.
"Yes" said I.
"What, you with drawing cash?"
It was clear this machine has a feminine attitude, at least I base this judgement ion the women of my acquaintance.
"Yes," said I getting narked, "I wish to withdraw cash."
"Can you afford it, " she said, "I mean you don't have much and it is better off with me."
I told you it was female!
"No, just GIVE ME THE CASH!" I was beginning to fret.
Just then I realised the man at the other cash point was muttering things also.  "It's my money so give it!" he said with a certain amount of 'energy' in his voice.  "Yes I need it," he growled...
"It is possible you are  Romanian refugee who has found your dropped card" said the screen, "What is your mothers name? This is a security question." she added needlessly.
"MUM." I snarled.
"Thank you," said the screen sweetly lying in its teeth. "Please re-enter your number for security reasons."
I did as requested and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
The man next door was now head banging the machine and muttering "JUST GIVE THE MONEY!"
I pressed the 'enter' button and the screen came to life again.
"Are you sure you want this money?" she asked.
"I have a screwdriver here," I typed in, "And if you do not payout I will undo you."
The money came down almost immediately.
The man next door immediately entered the same and received his cash also.
The banks will do anything to keep the cash for their bonus's.

Morning Radio News Programmes

It has long been known that TV 'News' programmes in the early morning are rarely 'News' led.   Any passing film/pop/soap star can fill in the time, along with bulimic girlies and women with a grudge.  A major conflict/disaster may well get a few minutes notice now and again but the majority of the viewers would rather 'pap' was to the fore.  For some getting the kids out the door, preparing for work, and keeping toddlers occupied while the others are taken care off means attention for important subjects is somewhat limited.  Therefore items that do not require much concentration are what appears to be popular.  The TV on offer early mornings in the UK is full of 'pap' and some say popular.

Therefore news has to be found via the wireless!  Until recently this was happily achieved in this region via the medium wave where the BBC World Service was available.  The news was off a high standard, reports from trouble spots ignored by national media, top quality journalists, and well run programmes offered.  Sadly the austerity offered by this useless coalition has led to cuts in the BBC.  Naturally while back offices full of those efficient in office politics keep their jobs, and high salaries, the front line service e.g. programmes, suffer.  Recently the medium wave service closed down leaving only those online able to catch the World Service.  Then the powers that be shrunk the service so much that a radical, and shockingly poor, new early morning offering appeared.  This BBC World Service programme was based on their African coverage, the excuse being that 70% of listeners are African!  Oh yeah?   The new programme goes under the name 'Daybreak,' is based in Johannesburg, South Africa, has an irritating, yet constant, silly drumbeat repeated endlessly, childlike presenters and only comes alive when the 'actual' World Service journalists appear.  It has become almost impossible to listen to this programme.  No doubt in Africa these folks are popular, I am not African and expect a London based BBC to broadcast with occasional African coverage as part of this, not the other way around.  It sounds what it look like, cheap programming!  This is more an African 5Live than proper journalism!

BBC 5Live of course broadcasts throughout the UK, a trendy female led station.  Intended at fiorst for football coverage women whined as they do about 'men,' and the day is filled with second rate girlies in jobs they should not have.  A feeble offering aimed at teens and 20's, and is poor at most times when football is not mentioned.  It is time this was changed into a BBC 'Talksport.'

I need not waste time on BBC Scotland's puerile Glasgow based offering, and find the only radio news left is found on Radio 4.  The 'Today' programme is seen as leading in the news category  except when the Conservatives object to it being 'left leaning,' a phrase often used when one of their people is caught out.  Yet this contains the token woman Sarah Montague, given a job simply for being female, an ageing John Humphreys, a man excellent at calling senior parliamentarians to account but all to often just happy to find fault where there is none.  James Naughtie (pronounced Naughtie) is famed for mispronouncing James Hunt's name, discussing literature and opera, and offering three forty five minute programmes on the bible yet managing to avoid any reference to God while doing so, very BBC!  The other two are just a waste of time and space.  What ought to be a serious journalistic offering becomes all to often a tabloid paper.  Small mindedness when no story is available, adverts for later programmes and an amazing amount of trivia concerning new books or films.  

Each morning I wish to be informed and find less serious news available each day.  Yet while the Israel problem has been well reported almost nothing has been mentioned until now concerning the Congo.  Some five million people have died in the long lasting conflict there, yet it is almost unheard off, why?  A wee girl banned from school for breaking rules about hair or trousers get more attention!  Football results, while important, will always mean more coverage than that given to a few thousand deaths.  Who mentions 'Darfur' today?  Do you recall the deaths there?

I do not want bad news constantly, just serious reporting, journalism if you like, and the main channels appear to offer this less than blogs and specialist news agencies do today.  The web is taking over the news.

Daily Mail

Kweku Adoboli, working in the City of London as a dealer in the money markets, managed to lose his company around £1.4 billion.  It is claimed at one point his losses were around £7.5 billion, but he managed to reclaim this.  Had he not done so the Swiss Bank which employed him, UBS, may well have gone bust.  He was found guilty of fraud and jailed for seven years.

The thought crossed my mind that robbing a bank gets longer sentences than murder these days.  Stick a knife in someone and walk the streets in six months.  Batter someone unconscious and get a banning order but rob lots of money and go down for a long time!  A bank that robs the public, or fails to return the 'bail out' cash will lead to knighthoods for those at the top, alongside million pound payouts.  Hmmm something wrong somewhere.  Just saying....

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Lynch Mob

International Business Times

Sir Fred Goodwin became powerful at the Royal Bank of Scotland during the good times. The money flowed and nobody knew nor cared who he was.  However the crash came and the world banking system went into meltdown and the exploits of Fred and his kind came to public attention as front page news.  Fred retired on a healthy pension of £760,000 a year, causing public outcry as people were beginning to feel the pain of recession by then, especially the 20,000 who had lost their jobs under his control!  His house was attacked forcing him to move into a more secure accommodation costing a mere two or three million, depending on whom you choose to believe. After some debate his pension was lowered to a mere £360,000 annually and he went of looking for work as a taxi driver at the weekends. Recently the bankers habit of awarding themselves multi million pound bonus's, even while the bank shares are losing value and thousands are being dumped on the streets, individuals and small to medium businesses are failing to secure much needed loans.  An outcry has arisen with bankers now considered among the low in society, alongside estate agents, MP's and tabloid journalists.  

To this end a lynch mob has attacked leading bankers receiving the odd million or two bonus and a campaign in the media has seen a chairman or two refuse to accept his bonus and others forced to turn theirs down, although we all know this will be made good to them all in the end. For Sir Fred Goodwin this meant that an uproar has demanded he be stripped of his Knighthood and return to being mere 'Mr' Goodwin. The cynic in me finds this somewhat unsettling in a couple of ways.  Apart from the fact that he keeps the money, position attained amongst his peers and while disgruntled will not otherwise be bothered,it smacks of jealousy and spite rather than justice.  While Goodwin appears to possess the face and character that makes normal folk wish to slap him hard  the lynch mob approach does not bring back the billions wasted worldwide.  In the end it shows merely that once again the PR PM Cameron is responding to a public outcry in the 'Daily Mail,' while doing nothing to end the bonus payment culture that lines the pockets of those who pay vast sums into his Conservative party.  Oh, could these be linked perhaps, surely no!    

When the editor of the 'Daily Mail,' one Paul Dacre I believe, who is paid £1.65 Million a year complains about a banker £1.2 million wage plus a million pound bonus I begin to wonder what kind of bonus Dacre receives let alone the other benefits he gains from mixing in the same company as the bankers. It has been said that Dacre has earwigged Tony Blair, Gordon Brown and now David Cameron in an attempt to be made a member of the house of Lords, if so could this be for the sake of the nation, to benefit the world by his opinions or just for the sake of pretentious emptiness, I wonder?  Goodwin and his kind participated in the great downfall (that began in the US) was encouraged by governments short sightedness and mostly by the public's greed, the one cause rarely mentioned.  The demand for loans far outstripping what we could repay (I can talk!), mortgaged to the hilt and the loss of jobs has brought our world crashing down. Vengeance, not justice, makes us attack those responsible, but only the ones we know about, while we excuse our own mistakes and join other greedy, selfish men who give even less than bankers and take even more from us, as in the case of the media they take our soul itself, and we hang out Sir Fred by removing his Knighthood and feel a strange satisfaction by this.

Goodwin was guilty, other bankers and financial men are also. However the behaviour of many well paid bonus takers attacking another is not a way out of the troubles we are in.  A failed PM satisfying a lust for vengeance does not reveal either leadership nor an understanding of a solution to the economic downturn.  The media liars appealing to the lowest common denominator, and the 'Daily Mail' certainly is this, does no one any good either.  Where do we stop here?  A Knight in England in the past was knighted because of his service to the King, while in Scotland all Nobles could and did give Knighthoods to those they chose.  Today this honour comes to those who have reached the highest levels of the Civil Service, or an MP who has voted the way he was told to vote for twenty years.  Singers and anyone who keeps in the public eye can today become a Knight, even an actress or two can receive the female version by being created a Dame simply by lasting at the top, and earning vast sums on the way, no matter how mediocre (Judy Dench!?).  The nation does require to commend those who deserve such awards but what about those who have, like Goodwin, turned out to be 'Bad 'uns?'  Do they also have the reward taken from them?  Where do we start?  How many would lose theirs?  Goodwin and his kind may have been wrong but a lynch mob does not return us to a state of normality!  

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Tidy Desk

I was going to regale you with a post full of insight and understanding.  I could have put the world in its place, given wisdom regarding the problems and difficulties we all face, but as I mused on my subject I realsied I just couldn't be bothered!  It is Sunday evening, I am listening to 'Mellow Jazz' on http://www.jazzradio.com/ and this therefore is a time to relax and fill the mind with thoughts of good things. 'Whatsoever is pure, whatsoever is lovely think on these things' is the way.  Anyway I am tired after a hard days football watching, freezing my socks off in the chilly air, and watching my Nan turn into a charred, blackened brick as I have yet to get a grip on the grill on the oven.  The smell ought to disperse by Tuesday.   The picture is my view whenever I sit here to contemplate or watch football.  The picture manages to hide the thick layer of dust that lies over everything (any spare women out there?) however it does show piles of unattended items, like bills!  The sheet of paper directly in front of me was put there to remind me to attend to it straight away,, it has been lying there since the 9th of the month!  I might look at it tomorrow after I have checked the money situation, I fear the overdraught has once more gone over the overdraught!  This means a letter from the bank informing me they cannot pay as I have no money but as I have no money they wish £20 more thanks a bunch!  That nice Mr Hester at the Royal bank of Scotland has just been given a bonus of just under a million pounds. He is not the best paid, and I wonder what the CEO got as a bonus at my bank?  I know where it comes from! Grrr 'Whatsoever is lovely'....think man, think!






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Spring

The other day I managed to find some snowdrops wearily waiting the sun breaking through the gray clouds above. One day it will succeed! The gardens had plenty of buds beginning to open, birds singing and green shoots breaking through the soil in various places. Altogether the hope that springs in Spring was beginning to be seen everywhere. There is no doubt this is the best time of the year. Winter over, summer ahead, albeit with the occasion blizzard, famine and earthquake here and there, but nonetheless the world looks brighter today than it did last week!

Once again I await the letter from the bank. Oh yes, two Direct Debits have not been paid!  Why? I am convinced there was enough money on Friday, how come I am now awaiting  a £20 charge? Now I am not one to complain but I am afraid that when I dropped a note regarding the payment of these DD's, tied to a brick and lobbed through the main window, I may say that my words were somewhat curt! I did not refer to the millions paid out in 'bonus's,' nor did I mention that this bank is mostly owned by the nation and owes 'US' millions, but I might just have made mention of 'robbers,' 'bandits,' 'thieves,' 'highwaymen' and possibly I then said something rude! I expect they will cry into their safes when they read it, and sweep all that glass away.

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Bankers, Ireland and Recession

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A fuss has arisen concerning the Irish financial collapse. The EU is of course supplying money to help them out, with the UK paying a certain amount of that. The Euro itself also adds to the amount given to help the Irish and on top of it all George Osbourne has decided to offer a loan of seven billion pounds to ease their worries. We can do this he claims because of the savings we have made since the coalition stole power a few months ago. The savings? About seven billion funnily enough!  This has brought a lot of fuss. People complain that this is our money given to a foreign country and we need it here (Charity begins at home they say), and a resentment has arisen over this deal.  The Irish banks are in trouble and once again the cry is "It is their fault, let them suffer!" A cry most of us sympathise with of course. A cry made worse when we note how the bankers still give themselves million pound bonuses.

The fact is Ireland, the southern bit, not only shares a border with part of the UK, and much finance crosses over there daily, but our banks have loaned their banks millions also! The Sir Fred Goodwin's who retire on pensions of £760,000 a year (cut by himself to a mere £370,000 after the outcry) loaned vast sums everywhere and now it is all collapsing around our ears. The bankers have become targets and this is exaggerated by their refusal to loan money to individuals and small businesses thereby causing mayhem throughout the land. Houses are lost, businesses collapse and people are thrown on the scrapheap as a result. No wonder the banks are criticised and considered worse than robbers! However it does appear to be in our interests to keep the Irish afloat. Not only are they a major trading partner, if we play our cards right they might help us out by taking Celtic football club off our hands! Here's hoping about that one!

However a thought wanders around inside my twisted little mind. From my position here in the soup kitcchen I look at those sleeping in their cardboard boxes, muttering rude words about the bankers, and wonder a little. You see while the banks did indeed handle the economy badly we also are at fault! Who was it that believed we had a right to a bigger house? Who was daft enough to take on a mortgage costing more than we earned to pay for a house bigger than we required and filled with goods we did not need? Us! The public! We along with the banks, and our listening to those who tell us what our life ought to be, are just as guilty! We wished for a lifestyle we could not afford, and now we have gone bust! The banks did not tell you to grasp what was offered, but common sense, much opposed these days, did say don't borrow what you cannot repay (says me!).

The grasping banks, who charge huge amounts when the overdraft goes over, are indeed heartless money grabbers who care nothing for individuals who fail. Was it not the one time chairman of the Bank of Scotland who was noted for saying, "Don't listen to the sound of a different drum, just take the cash?" I bet he retired on a good pension!  We can rightly blame politicians and bankers but a bit of honesty is required here. The public believed they could spend, spend, spend, and did not consider that the job might fail, sickness would arrive and life would become difficult, and then when their world crashes down they cannot blame the banks and the recession situation alone but must accept some responsibility also.

Georges seven billion may or may not help the Irish sort themselves out, it might not even be enough to pay off my Visa card to be honest, but when I wander into the job centre, in rags, and get depressed at the lack of an opening for a creature like me I cannot blame the folk in the office, (apart from arrogant Graham who sits there in his suit being important and begging for a slap in the cakehole), I cannot even blame the banks, I must take my share of blame by not having a trade to fall back on, apart from criticising and moaning of course and being more adept at grasping the opportunities that have appeared and quickly vanished. Let the public winge about the banks and the politicians, we all agree with that, but let them show a bit more honesty while they do so.      

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Banks

Why are they run by such stupid people? When I have no money, that means daily of course, the bank will charge me money I do not possess for going over the official overdraft limit. Yet the Halifax,now merged with the Bank of Scotland and referred to as either HBOS or CROOKS, shows the level of dumbness that leaves them begging for government handouts. Yes the handouts from the government that they will not pass on to you and me! The other day I received  a statement for a 'Current Account' that I have not used for ten years! Fooled by their appalling adverts I put my wages into their 'High Interest' account to discover that 'high Interest' was about 3p at the time. Alongside this was the chequebook. I had an account with the 'Leeds' when it was taken over by the 'Halifax' some years ago, and the branch was in Edgeware Road, London. They sent me letters indicating my chequebook was awaiting collection from Edgeware Road, although I had already informed the aged crone that I was here! I spoke to a nice, bright young thing and pointed out the error, and for two or three years this continued! The 'nice bright young thing' was just as competent as the aged crone! I decided to return to Lloyd's and put my wages (yes I used to earn them) into the other account. I however am still receiving the annual statement from Halifax! There is now £1:25 in the account, from an original £1: 20 I left all those years ago. While I notice the interest is no longer being paid thy continue to send info that must cost considerably more than £1:25. This includes the statement and numerous pamphlets informing me of legal statements, account changes, and insurance offers. All binned! I would cancel the account but they will probably charge me £25 for the privilege, so I just leave it there. Why do they not just drop it themselves, send me a cheque and cut their loss? Maybe the man in charge is too busy checking his pension options?  

This man thought he would let the Halifax in Liverpool know what he thought of Sir Fred Goodwin and you must understand his emotions at the time!

Litter

Travelling to bigtown by luxury, high speed rail, I noticed as we trundled along the vast amounts of rubbish on the trackside. Most of this comes from the people living alongside chucking their rubbish over the fence rather than putting it out for the binmen. Quite why these folks feel the need to do this when there is an efficient rubbish collection available I do not understand. There again we are not just talking about normal waste, plastic bags and bottles and the like, but large items such as bedsprings or old tables, things that cost money to have the council collect. Near here they just dump them on the street corner often enough anyway, but huge amounts of junk are flung onto the railway embankment and lie there for months. The bridges over the railway are similarly strewn with litter, newspapers, take away cartons and chip wrappers and so on, jettisoned by those unable to consider taking their litter home with them. Now we have all done it in one form or another but there is a limit surely? Why, I ask, are the British such slobs?

It's a feature of life in this country that litter is true be thrown away rather than placed in litter bins or taken home and disposed off. Much better to fling it from car windows, throw it onto the street or railway line, or just drop it carelessly anywhere. The skatepark opposite me is cleaned every morning by a couple of council workmen because the brats who hang about there are too pig ignorant to use the bins provided, except when they are setting them on fire that is!

During the last 30 years the IRA took to placing small bombs in rubbish bins and many were removed because of this. However today bins have reappeared but the filth habit has not changed.This litter habit is not confined to the UK of course. While we hear or clean trains in Germany and no chewing gum found on the streets of Singapore it is clear the majority of the world cares nothing about removing litter, just recently a swathe of the Atlantic fifty miles wide was strewn with vast amounts of plastic litter chucked from boats and blown into the sea from the land. Imaging how much floats around amongst those bottles with telling messages? It's not just the UK that is a mess, the whole planet is.

Have you noticed the increase in spam regarding quick loans and money deals? While most probably come from similar sources there does appear to be an increase of these sharks on the lookout for desperate people to rip off once more. The media, in particular the tabloids, feature many adverts from financial companies willing to give loans to almost anyone. Digging a new hole to get out of the one you are in is not a good idea, or at least that is what I have found! Far too many vulnerable people, not just those who spend thoughtlessly, will be caught out by such sharks. Surely something should be done about such spam, difficult though this is as there are billions of spam daily. There again, as legitimate financial organisations can rip us off so easily, look at credit card APRs for instance, maybe these folks are no worse than the crooked, money grabbing bastards in the banks?

£20

£20, that's what these bastards are charging me for going over the overdraft limit! I have to go deeper into the credit card to clear this, and when you dig a hole to fill a hole the hole you dig gets deeper than the hole you fill! Or something. I was going to put the money in alongside a wee note, but managed not to until tonight. The idea of requesting a meeting with the bonus laden manager on the shop floor for a full, frank and fulfilling few minutes sounded good this morning, but the six months jail that would result has put a dampener on it. Still, there will be more opportunities to revile these money grabbing, verminous, government paid Fred Goodwin wannabes!I should point out that this is my fault for not keeping an eye on things, but last time I looked all was well. Typical!

Banks!

Now I am not one to complain, as you know. However, today I checked, being the first of the month, what the banking situation actually was. No point yesterday as it was a 'bank holiday.' I found myself overdrawn on my overdraft, so I went up today and dug another hole to fill this one, and placed it, neatly, into the account.

Now normally when I pay in early it shows up by mid afternoon. Today it did not do this! However two unpaid Direct Debits did! This means the grasping bank, with huge profits in spite of the catastrophic Halifax/BoS takeover, will charge me £20 and probably still not pay the standing orders, unless I ask them to and then be charged for it, even though money is now there!

I was tempted to enter the bank and discuss this with the teller, but the crowd was rather longer than my temper and just as well as they would probably not serve me with the stocking on my head. I suspect whoever has not been paid will want more also. Looks like they can sing!

However I did come across a job that would really suit me, and I was gagging for this one. trouble is it is in Bournemouth, a hundred and something miles away! It's a cruel world. Still, worse things happen at sea. Which, when you think about it, is where I am at the moment!

Making Money

In a vain attempt to pay the bills and clear some of the ever increasing debts, I decided to search E-Bay. I came across an advert for this stereoscope outfit and discovered it sold for £25! Woohoo I thought, I have one of these wasting away in a cupboard. It was given by the lovely lass and once looked at it became forgotten. However it was clear there are collectors out there willing to part with cash for such as this, so I placed an ad!

Naturally having the competence of George Dubyah Bush I placed it in the wrong category! So once again I have listed the thing and once again I read 'No Bids' each time I log on. How is it I ask, that 12 year olds can sit at a PC and become millionaires within months while whatever venture I engage it comes to nought? I had a Wodehouse book for sale but could get nothing for it, unfortunately even though it is a classic and in short supply there was a slight damage and therefore collectors were not interested. Another dream of £20 failed to come to fruition.

On 'YOUGOV' the research folk site I have received £50 in times past for filling in the surveys. Now when I am desperate for the cash I notice I stand on £49.70! That is 30p away from getting the cash! 30p!!!!! It could take to next month before I get the next 50p survey, and then another month before the cash arrives! I could be suffering malnutrition by then! I really do not get how some folks find money at every turn. You know the ones, leave a shoelace and a box of matches lying around and next thing you hear they have used these morsels to set themselves up in business and now have forty stores nationwide, a Greek island for the weekends, and several million spare in the bank. Now I don't live for money, I just want to pay my way by doing something useful and having enough to spare for other things. Looks like I need to go back to writing that book, 'How to be an Idiot.' Hold on, I've lost that file! Typical!

I am in two minds as to whether it is worth attempting to sell the aged 'Delta Airlines' toilet bag, possibly from the 60's. I cannot afford to keep E-Bay in business while I head for bankruptcy! The overdraft is near its end, and if I cross the line the bank will send me a letter stating, "You are overdrawn on your overdraft, so we will increase you poverty by fining you £25." Only a banker can see nothing wrong in asking for more money from someone who has no money! As the £25 takes me further over the line next month I get another letter charging me money I do not posses for paying the charge on money I do not possess and increasing my lack of money possession not only by the £25 for overdrawing the overdraft but also adds,"The cost of each letter we write to you is £25!" I might just wander in to the bank dressed as a slave, chains and all and surrender myself! It would be cheaper than paying bank charges! (which I note have increased by £2 again! This (free) letter informed me this was because of the benefit (we wanted?) of mobile insurance and car insurance. Neither of which I need. Now I am a peaceable man, except when violent, and I am close to visiting the chairman of said bank, unless he has been ousted by the recent changes, and inserting the said letters into his wallet! Free of charge!

Anyhow a quick check, how I need a quick cheque, shows that I have £29.39 in the AdSense account. This does not pay out under £100 at a time. When it does I should get around £60, but with the credit crunch changing things all the time I reckon I will have around 47 pence awaiting me when it arrives. The Amazon account is just as bad - totally unused so far! Now I am content in that the good Lord has never failed me and I know something is just around the corner. As I said I don't live for money, but I do wish I could find a way to create some! Another five jobs to apply for and this mean another five failures! None are any good, all have fifty already applying for them, and two at least are somewhat dodgy!

I think it's time I went with a beat up old guitar and stood outside the shops doing my Bob Dylan impersonation. I certainly have the voice for it, or so I have been told - many times! In fact when I think of it, my dads last big gift to me was a reel to reel tape recorder back in 1968. I still have it somewhere in a cupboard, along with several very bad tapes made around that time. The shock I received when hearing my voice for the first time was bad enough, the greater shock came when I heard this awful voice singing so very badly - it was me! The dreams of rock stardom were put in the bottom drawer and locked away for ever. I should have known mind, after all, when in primary school and the school choir came along, the singing voices went to the front and the non singing were placed at the back of the crowd and told to mime. I was placed at the back and told not to mime! I thought it was just the doddery old teacher up till I heard my voice!