Now What?

I awoke, early, and rested my tired eyes further listening to liars, the devious and the self seeking on the wireless telling us how wonderful the world is under their government, opinions, ideas and, er, art! As a bleary gray blue light crept slowly into the clouds outside I trudged unwillingly through to the East Wing for a sumptuous healthy breakfast of bacon rolls.  As the bacon burnt sizzled in the pan I started the laptop.  All went well until I attempted to login to the outside world.  No connection!  The bacon fat spat less loudly than I did at this point! "Gosh, golly," I said, "This is inconvenient at this time." So I stuffed my fat face while grease dribbled down me while I watched the mindless Breakfast TV on offer. Why do these people manage to make news so uninspiring?  BBC would rather talk about film stars and bulimic girls while Sky spends the whole time on one story, today the rather sad story of the missing three year old in Edinburgh.  Journalism wherefore art thou mush?  
After breakfast I returned to the laptop wishing I had swallowed some of those tablets women get on TV programmes.  I prayed, then began the brute once again.  Problems on a PC are bad enough, but not getting a connection was like being held incognito, I must however admit I have no idea where incognito actually lies, possibly Italy I imagine! 
According to the Laptop Windows the modem was not connecting.  After some considerable time of fiddling with things I fell back on the old remedy of turning it off and on like windows had told me to. Still no help.  Gulp!  I turned it off and waited longer, and once again (Hooray) it sprang, slowly, to life and allowed me my life back.  It was at this point I decided I must get that old PC fixed!  So now the laptop has served me through the day I make plans for rushing into town tomorrow and visiting PC World. I will find what I need there and get to work immediately, sort off.  This is indeed an emergency and nothing, absolutely nothing, will hold me back!
Late this afternoon an emergency call from the museum means I must go in at ten a.m. tomorrow morning, just when I should be on my bus.  Volunteers, you canny trust them!  At least I can now consider what I am doing on the broken PC properly rather than rush off and buy what looks the right thing.  
My life is so exciting, don't you think.....?