Life Returns

After another two calls to Mumbai this morning, I cut the call off by accident myself the first time, I was convinced by a pretty young Indian lass that all would be well. Yet again this was an operator who had to stick to the script!  She did very well and was only perturbed when I asked where she was.  "India," she replied somewhat confused as people are not supposed to leave the script and she was more troubled when I indicated 'India' was a big place. Possibly she thought I might visit, fat chance, however she was somewhere I didn't quite catch, near Mumbai. Lunchtime and the Internet ceased once again and a noise outside forced my nose to the window.  There I beheld, and almost enfolded in my arms, the man from BT fixing the wires on the telegraph pole outside my window. Later, with one or two blips as he played around with the connection back at the exchange, I was left with the normal slow speeds that I have come to expect from 'Pipex,' or 'TalkTalk' as we must call them now. I checked my mobile phone for cost.  I have £3:62 left on the phone, (Virgin, 'Pay as you go') and I reckon there was about £16 in it to begin with, but cannot be sure!  Whatever, today's calls cast about £7 in themselves. Good job that phone was filled up some time ago when rich! Maybe I will once again compare prices of these ISP's. Still, all is well now and I no longer have to go outside and talk to real people.  



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The Day Dawned Brightly...

How soon before it all goes wrong?


Not long!
Rotten day, foul mood, tired, aching, and the oven does not work.
Luckily I am using the microwave and electric rings mostly at the moment.
Worse, the Broadband keeps cutting out!  Horror of horrors!  How can I live with no Broadband?
However after fiddling with the plugs the Broadband works, slowly.  Too slowly at times, and it was not fast to begin with.
But the phone is dead!
I never call unless I must, and I must log in the replacement credit card by phone, and it is dead.


How do you call when you have no phone to call with?
I e-mailed the only address I know and immediately received a reply stating I must go elsewhere!
I did, and filled in the form, hopefully the right one, and by the time I finished both engineers will have gone home. (I say both because there can only be two, and one is off sick, as they are slow!)
'Pipex' have sold out to 'Talk Talk,'  who have a bad reputation, so I am wondering if anyone will be there to read this ( and I am typing slowly so the Broadband does not get flustered.).


Now I am tired, flustered, anxious, and staring into the abyss - again!


It's being so cheerful wot keeps me going!



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Strange Week

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I canny mind where I found that picture of Bill Bailey but it speaks volumes and makes me laugh!  There have been times this week when I did not laugh however. Take Tuesday, I logged off the internet around four in the afternoon for some reason, I must have been in the shops looking for the reduced price stale bread.  I attempted to log in on my return and nothing happened. Sometimes there is a hindrance logging in, so I waited a moment and tried again, still nothing.  This continued for a couple of hours and (after six when calls are free) I called Pipex. The woman's voice told me that the call would cost 5p a minute (even if it's free after six?) and blethered for a few moments to scrounge more loot out off me.
"Insert your phone number on the keypad."
I did.
"Insert or speak your date of birth."
"02/07/ 93"
"Please repeat that either by voice or on the keypad."
I keyed in the date.
"All our colleagues are busy at the moment, please hold, your call is important to us."
I held.
Music played. A scratched old 78 of some sort.
"Thank you for holding. Our colleagues will be with you shortly. Your call is important to us."
"It's important to ME too girl!" I said to the machine.
Music, "Thank you for holding....."
Tap finger.
Music.
"Thank you for holding....."
"Thank you for holding.  You are now in position three in the queue,"she said with a self satisfied smile.
Music.
"Thank you for holding....."
Music.
"Your call is important....."
Music......
TAP FINGER!!!
"You are now in position two in the queue," she lied.
Music.
"Thank you for holding....."
Music.
"Thank you for holding....."
Music.
"Thank you for holding....."
Brrr brrr. Brrr brrr
"Good evening, welcome to Pipex, my name is something or other. How can I help you?"
 "I cannot connect......."
That's funny, it's gone silent. Has he cut me off?
No! It's my phone handset. The battery has died! GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

With internet contact restored the sun shines again. I was quite worried for a moment as I feared that I may have to talk to real people for a change. In fact I actually had to do just that on Thursday as I had to sign on the Dole and receive a visit from one of their employees regarding a query on my doings. The first part occurred in the morning. I entered in the usual manner, in rags, unshaven and unwashed, discovered the new system was in operation and prayed I did not have to deal with the lass who last had a thought about seventeen years ago, and she was wrong that day also!  In fact I was attended to by a delightful, somewhat nervous lassie, although females are often nervous meeting me, we famous folk understand this, and while I attempted not to look anywhere but at her eyes I scrawled my name (an alias) and was thrown out again.
Back home the man who arrived informed me I had been overpaid by £178 or thereabouts. After the ambulance man had removed the defibrillator equipment and given the all clear the chap spoke, clearly and slowly, about the work I had done some months ago. I had of course informed them at the time and their robot had sent me a letter disclosing the change this made to my benefit. This was fine, except the robot had not bothered to alter what I was paid and now I owe them about £20. This I may not even be required to pay.

The rest of the week has been taken up with a drained mind which has been entertained by researching (a rather high faluting way to describe it) names on the local war memorial. This does give an impression for the effect the Great War had on this small town. Now holding 35,000 or so, I wonder what the population would have been in 1914?  Already I have discovered four men dead in the local area, and several more not much further away!  The response of the families involved, especially when an only son, a father, or for one poor lad two sons within a year dying is easy to understand. Today the names stand ignored for the most part on the memorial but some who pass must know they are related to them. I wonder what their thoughts are regarding such men and possible uncles, cousins or indeed fathers?

It is amazing what the loss of football can do to an individual? The great Champions League Final begins shortly.  I had better watch this as in two years time I expect the Heart of Midlothian to be playing in this game.  What? ...................oh!  



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Pipex Customer Service

In the middle of searching yesterday the web went dead!

I thought I had gone over the MB allowance or some such, so I left it till today to check. Almost all day with no web! Had I not been watching the Arsenal game last night I may have started seeing spiders!

This morning it was still dead so I called the Pipex hotline, followed the instructions of the voice, chose the appropriate number, chose the next appropriate number and waited.

The cheery voice apologised and explained "... All our operators are busy and will be with you in a minute. Your call is important to us, please hold on" She forgot to add that at 5p a minute I knew how important 'holding on' actually was to Pipex. Music played, she came back, "We apologise for keeping you waiting, an operator will be with you shortly." She then added in a sickeningly cheery voice, "You are progressing in the queue. There are more than 9 people in front of you," as if this was encouraging!

Music (stolen from some bad 'new age' album) and she returned with her message, again and again - and again, "There are more than 9 people in front of you." I wonder if she heard me point out that I know! And I also know that if I am progressing HOW COME THERE ARE STILL MORE THAN 9 PEOPLE IN FRONT OF ME?" I hope she did not hear my comments when she returned for the fortieth time.....

I called at just after 8 am. I was answered, after she had informed me, eventually, that I was "7th in the queue" then "4th," then "2nd," as if I was meant to prepare myself to shout at the man awaiting me.

I did! He answered at 8:50!

Poor man must have started his day with caller after caller asking "WHY?" The reason "Why?" he claimedwas a flood in exchange which had halted all the servers. Then, somewhat sheepishly, and with his head under the desk, he added "They say it may take three or four days to fix."

"WHAT????????????"

I could die in that time without the web!

However the yelling down the phone from so many folk has worked and it has come on a short while ago. I am relieved. Have you any idea what it means to live without internet access? It is an impossibility today!

However it was indeed a problem with flooding. Most ISPs were affected by the flood and BT engineers worked very hard to restore the exchange as quickly as they did. A huge area must have been effected, and one mate has been without a phone for over a day and a half because of this. I was quite lucky. I was also lucky the nice doctor gave me pills to stop my heart fluttering and smelling salts for when the shock of losing the web returns.

Wasted Week

Nothing has happened!
With the holiday weekend distorting the whole week, and the return of the bug leaving me feeble, and who noticed the difference I ask, the PC needing reinstalled, and that leaving problems, nothing has happened this week.
The long weekend throws everything out. I still think this is Thursday but it is in fact Friday! Maybe of course that has more to do with age than anything else.
The bug began early and I had the usual symptoms, although some have suffered worse recently. Still it is a nuisance, why me? I suppose it helps the diet, not eating much, but I do little exercise and I notice the stiffness whenever I stand up!
The PC had to be reinstalled. This means that while it is much more stable now I have no sound. This appears to be a common problem with XP installs. I await a response from the service man - probably, 'Here we go again!.' Amazing the difference sound makes. Not just because it makes a sound but the atmosphere at a football match is entirely different when seen in silence. I find if someone speaks to e when I do not have my glasses on I can't hear them right! In the same way I cannot follow a game when totally silent, much easier with crowd noise.
Another problem is the 'all in one' printer/scanner. It copies things OK, but refuses to accept it is connected. I cannot scan or print! This I discovered after writing a letter yesterday and then having to write it by hand afterwards. I could not read what I wrote, how will they? Use of the keyboard has left my poor writing illegible!
I wonder what will go wrong next?
Shall I go job hunting? Great, except when I log in I struggle to get connection!
I could not get connected yesterday morning at all, similar in afternoon. Just managed, after many attempts, to connect in evening. Real pain that. I did contact Pipex this morning by e-mail, I wonder if I will get a reply? I didn't last time. I am scared to log out now, but being on a cheaper tariff than before means going over it costs money!
Shall I go out, it's raining. Ah still Easter week then!
Just like being in Edinburgh this weather.
But I don't have the pleasure of the view over the Forth towards Burntisland. That I miss.

Pipex!

They done it again! That is the third time the service has disappeared! It has happened once in three years, and probably because it was the busy time of day, and yet three times now it has just died, why? Have they no care for those of us who cannot function without the web? Do you think they do it for spite? I do!

So I have been calmly sitting on the floor all morning, staring into space while some tech geek spills coffee all over the servers in some chap part of the world. I say 'calmly' because after two bottles of valium and half a bottle of Tesco Congac I found myself very calm indeed, even now I feel serene. That said I can't actually feel anything, my legs, my head, my fingers and I notice lots of strange evil creature crawling across the window pane.......

I think it's time to sue Pipex for what they are doing to me.....

Typical!

After mentioning how useful the web is for a wide variety of functions, it went down this morning! When I got up I stared outside at the bright morning enjoying the sight. How I hate the dark days, the cold, the rain, the snow, all horror stuff that drives me mad! Why am I not rich enough to live in Crete or some such place where the sun shines? However, once I breathed in the cold, sorry fresh, morning air I looked up the usual suspects on the web, read the football reports, removed the spam, and passed on useful e-mails. I then got on with my day.

Later I returned to the web but nothing happened! The machine went through all the correct moves but the response from the ISP was dead! Dead! Nothing,no connection! Dead! I stared into space for a while as I went through the difficult problem of coming to terms with this. No connection meant no football messageboards, no spam or proper e-mail. It meant I could not read any more papers, find the news, search the blogs or indeed get in touch with the world! I was trapped!

I kept calm, after I stopped crying, got up off my knees and calmly switched it all off as clearly it was a temporary fault at their end. Wiping away the tears I contemplated what could be done without the internet. Much indeed! Computers are the most wonderful of things, as this laptop would be if the CD actually connected to the rest of the thing (I accidentally deleted the relevant folder), and the screen and dial up worked. Like everything here it is broken, I mean, look at me, you call this fit? I continued with my duties, offering prayers every few seconds. A few days ago the same thing happened,and then the lass at the Service desk spoke of an outage,almost as if I ought to know why it had all collapsed! I phoned again, my fingers trembling as I dialled, well, pushed buttons. The message at the other end kindly gave me the new number from the 1st of February then informed me, with a smile, that "..our offices are closed!" CLOSED!!!! What sort of service is that? Who can I shout at when the service is down if the office is 'closed!?'

I realised this was a judgement because I had not gone to that church I had planned on visiting this morning. It had to be, even though I was far to knackered for some reason to go anywhere. Why am I always tired anyway? There is a Church of Scotland service broadcast live from the village of Luss which I had intended to watch. Not the greatest, but I thought worth a go today.

I roamed around contemplating life without this wonderful window on the world. We can live without it but we are now dependent on it. This is not a bad thing, it is only a machine, and useful for many things, but when it goes down we are often helpless. I sat on the tarmac at Edinburgh International Airport (which I still call Turnhouse) while the captain informed us that the Scots air traffic computer had 'crashed.' We discussed whether this was the appropriate choice of words for the moment! Another question concerned the aircraft already in the air, "Would they have to stay up there all day," someone asked? Eventually someone unplugged the machine and then put the plug back in, we soon set off. But it was close! I knew I could live without this machine, but I would lose so much. E-mail, the blogs I have come to enjoy, and the folk connected to them, research, surfing for the sake of it, Scots football, people! So much that I can contact easily that otherwise would cost time and expense. Which reminds me, time to consider selling books on E-Bay!

After a short eternity the Internet came back. I ran downstairs and standing in the middle of the road shouted "Hallelujah!!!!" A Sainsburys van driver was clearly not impressed! I of course have not done much with this since. Other things to do, football to watch, letters to write, books to read, lunch to burn and so on. However I will look up those pictures of the Battle of Cambrai, and send those e-mail, and write this blog and so on, I will, honest. At least Sicarii understands how I feel. although I suspect most women will fail to. Typical!