Unearthed Outdoors True Marble Imagery
I want to change the world. I have attempted this in many ways, charity work, helping old ladies across the road, forgiving enemies, being nice. The charity work revealed that human beings are nasty sorts of people. They take and take and then ask for more! Charity work without understanding the corruptness of human nature is foolhardy. I kind of expected folk to say thanks and appreciate what was done for them, this did not always happen! Making allowances for those whose mentality hindered them there were a great many who played the system and took all they could. Some said thanks and were grateful, many did not. Forgiving enemies is a good step forward, especially if they do not realise that they are enemies, however this is not always easy, especially when you have to do it constantly. Helping old ladies over the road is always good, but not if they wanted to stay where they were. Being nice is good, but women are suspicious and trust you less than when you are just being yourself. Saying 'Good morning' often leaves the bitch wondering "What does he want?" or "My hair is out of place," sometimes,"He wants me." The latter producing one of two options. If she is happy about this she will not let go, find out she has misunderstood and blame you! Or if she is not happy she will turn icy cold and hate you deeply. So I always remain passive and simply say "Morning bitch" as this saves a lot of hassle and wasted time as she searches her emotions to work out what "Good morning" actually meant.
The world does need help. Natural disasters brings out the best in people, money is donated, help offered by governments, and lives improved, usually. Sick folks abound, and we are often among them. The good sense of the Labour Party in 1945, with the consent of the people, gave us the marvellous NHS! Their greatest achievement! I spent several years there and saw many helped with serious and minor problems, and sometimes dealing with the dead. Of course had I actually gone on to become a nurse, an idea I once toyed with concerning changing the world I would have been dealing with many more dead and several years imprisonment! People were often grateful for the help received, yet all we read in the press are complaints and failings! In other places the health service can be limited and many do good work among the sick in outlying poor areas.
Hunger in many places causes suffering and we could take a Malthusian attitude if we were hard hearted enough. However consider this, while a TV programme, that still runs, gave us the delight of several people sit round a dinner table and discuss the meal created for them. While this programme was on air thirty seven countries had food riots! 37! Bread had doubled in price, rice was in short supply also, and the poorest suffered most! While the middle classes stuffed themselves on telly. My stomach and my fat belly made me sick at the time also! It still does!
Sick folk, hungry folk, badly housed, or badly clothed, drinking polluted water and in crime ridden areas. This is world wide and you can tell there is much to change in this world. Here in the rich west there are problems caused by wealth. Greed is never satisfied, those who have always want more, not to share with those who have not. What are you pointing your finger at me for? While some struggle even here we have deeper 'spiritual' problems, although that may be the wrong word. Moral laxity, indiscipline amongst many of the young, the meaning of life hidden behind tabloid newspapers, mind sapping television and kebabs and takeaways, and a live for today attitude, for tomorrow we die, although we don't like to think about death! The Victorians made death an example of class status and fashion, we ignore it, although when it happens we then consider - just for a moment.
I used to want to sit down beside folk, listen to their tales of woe, and help them through it, but now I do nothing. I have no spare cash to feed the hungry, and that annoys me, I have no energy or ability to help those in need around me. Old wifeys attempting to cross the road can search for a bot scout, and those lacking purpose who annoy me may find me armed with a Kalashnikov if I can find one. In my mind I still want to change the world. Cynicism, selfish people, my failings and inabilities, the attitudes of the moment all get up my nose somehow. I knew what to do once. I still know what to do! But I don't do it, all too often don't care, and if I tried the world would slap me down with political correctness, health & safety regulations, or just selfishness and abuse.
Am I a touch cynical tonight, or could it be the thing that always need changing is not the world around us, but the self, me, inside? Hmmmm, yes I am afraid it's not the world that needs changing, it's me!
