Monday, 25 December 2006

Christmas Day

Time to remember that Jesus loves me! Wondering why can wait a bit longer. Time to rejoice within at his choice of sinner. Time to wallow in his love and allow self to love in return. Doing it by 'law' will not work. Time to sit back and enjoy a day.
Lunch of leg of lamb with all the trimmings. A beer, or two, coffee, and feet up to watch Christmas Day TV. And if you want to waste time, Christmas Day TV is a complete waste of time!
At this moment we celebrate the coming of the Son of God into his world by watching 'The World at War' series. We could be watching one of the many awful films that fill the day elsewhere. Mostly aimed at kids, but they are much too busy breaking thousands of pounds of gifts that arrived only a few hours ago. There will be at least one Dickens story, usually the Christmas one.
Dickens, renown for his tales of Victorian woe and vileness, yet impressed on kids as a 'must see' each Christmas.

At least the traffic is slow. Few vehicles have passed by today. However quit a few have walked past, in groups and singularly, often walking the dog. Some duties change nought!
The gray, overcast sky cheers no-one on a day like this. It never snows, but that does not stop every other advert in the land featuring that awful substance. The grayness makes depressing viewing, causing the leafless trees to look stark and bare and eerie. Hardly celebration skies!

Jesus was of course born far from this area, and nowhere neat Christmas. if we done our homework correctly we could celebrate in a warmer climate. But those who took over the northern midwinter festival, while understandable, have done us no favours. Still, could be worse.

Christmas greetings to all my readers.....if any!

Wednesday, 20 December 2006

Christmas at the Cave of Adullam

Once again it is that time of year. The time when shops are crowded with self-seeking, pushy, pig ignorant folks preparing to celebrate the time of goodwill to all men. The time of year when shopkeepers raise their prices so they can reduce them later by a fraction, always calling it a ‘great saving’ before Xmas is over. The time of year when daft folks spend thousands of pounds covering the outside of their house with fairy lights and plastic Santa's. Always claiming they do it for charity, and not just because they are stark staring bonkers!

This is the time of year when countless TV adverts are stuffed full of snow scenes, often Victorian. Ignoring totally that it never snows at Christmas, that snow is bloody awful stuff, and that the cheery Victorians displayed actually died in their twenties of Rickets, consumption or malnutrition! We wish you a merry Christmas, oh yes indeed! Come try carol singing at my door in Victorian dress oh yes!

Apart from the requirement to spend vast sums of money that does not exist, on goods that are not worth the expense, on kids that will forget them almost immediately and adults that give back presents that come nowhere near the value of the gifts handed to them, thus leaving one considerably out of pocket, apart from that, Christmas can be a happy time. Unless you take sick, fall down the stairs or have lost your keys/wallet/mind! All of which are possible at this time of year!

The arrival of Christmas means of course that another year is nearly finished. Once again the hair has turned a more blatant gray, the stiffness in the muscles increases, football players earning £40,000 a week look like children, policemen call you ‘dad’ instead of ‘oi!’ and the energy levels that once took you up hill and down Mrs Dale have gone and left you exhausted while watching televised football. This weariness results in an ever increasing irritation at the amount of ‘pap’ pedalled as worthwhile in the press or media. Societies incessant demand for meaningless trivia sticks in the throat like Moms apple pie. And we know what sort of cook she was! ‘Reality shows’ showing as much reality as a six pound note, find audiences in the millions. While most tend to be small minded, pig ignorant adolescents with malformed brains grown ups and intelligent folk have been known to watch, with glazed eyes, the deviants, attention seekers and psychopaths who thrill televisions high earners so much.

‘Why Should Britain Fear!’ as they used to say.

The high heat of summer saw an opportunity to obtain a red skin and itchy arms for a while. Holidaying by trundling the bike five miles up to a local village of wife swappers and business frauds made for variety. Usually this occasion brings contact with drug dealers and ‘Eastender’ species. You have met them. These are the folk that complain about those foreigners (e.g. blacks) who have moved into the area. To avoid contamination with such immigrants these folks roll up their ‘Daily Mails’ and run off to the Costa Brava to mix with thousands of others of similar mind. No curries in Spain mate, just good old fish and chips!

The accommodation continues to inspire love and devotion. Except the tiles falling off the bathroom wall into the bath, when I am sitting reading my books there. The draught round the bath since the failed attempt to line the rim has been more noticeable as the outside temperature has fallen. The video plays now, one day it will once again record, maybe. I would Google for instructions or repair on the PC but that collapsed and left me with a small laptop, which has several troubles which googling does not answer. The building itself does have a strange smell now, one I had not noticed before. My neighbour mentioned that this has been noticed only since the washing machine broke down. He moved recently. The machine is still broken....

Another Christmas bringing to an end another year of joy and happiness. This leaves us looking forward to another of the same.
Another year of mistakes and breakdowns, of disruption and those needless police raids just before dawn.
Another year off sitting in the park with a can of ’Special brew’ and muttering and growling at passers by.

It’s tradition!

Another year looms bringing the opportunity to be caught outside in a thunderstorm wearing nothing but summer wear, the same summer wear now worn for several years. Another year to find Visa bills falling through the door in a heap, another year of ‘Asbos’ caused by sitting on that bench in the park, of late night noise from folks nearby, of sniffling away at that cold that has hung around since 1987. Another year of finding the milk has run out and the shops have closed, another year of past intimates telling of their success once they have moved on. Another year of wandering round the market at closing time picking up moth eaten cabbages and such for lunch. Another year to look forward to the same as the last, and the one before that, and on and on and on and on back to time immemorial.

Another Christmas. Another cup of ‘OXO’ followed by a mouldy tangerine. Another attempt to drown sorrows in that £1:25 wine form Somerfield. (Two for £1:95) Another Christmas to look forward to, I must go and prepare......

Sunday, 17 December 2006

Prostitute Killings

Five dead prostitutes naturally leads not only to a massive police hunt, but also to a media frenzy.
Nothing pleases the hacks more than sex, and sex connected to murder, and a serial killer at that, is glorious for the muck raking press of this nation. How they have enjoyed dredging up all the stories they can concerning the lives of these girls. Almost twenty four hour coverage on SKY News alone! This has gone for over a week and already there are indications of irritation among the hacks that so far no one has been found. Not that they would be trying to force the investigation eh? Claims of some being interviewed are rebutted by the police, yet those claims still appear in a press desperate to fill pages with 'Revelations!'
Suddenly prostitutes, usually regarded as 'dregs of society' are seen as 'our sisters and family.' Those who would not want them within a hundred miles of their homes tell us of their concern for the girls welfare. Those claiming to represent what they call 'sex workers' appear on every channel and paper. Concern for the girls well being is promoted at many levels.
But do they really care?

As has been stated, while all want to stop the killings and few if any would wish the girls dead, there are none who who welcome prostitutes either walking their street or working from brothels nearby. Where they operate problems of anti social behaviour mount! Women living in the area are accosted by men looking for women, the same girls worry that their men are accosted by those women working the streets! Most want them far from their children. Legalising brothels to keep the girls safe sounds a good idea. But who runs the brothels? Gangsters? Where do the girls come from? Too many here already are sex slaves from all over eastern Europe! Would they not be put through such brothels?

More important must be the actual people involved. How can it be acceptable that women should use men for money? The implication today is always that men use women, while the idea of the reverse is ignored. Human nature teaches us otherwise. If not kidnapped and used as sex slaves where do the girls come from? Most in Ipswich are drug users, 98% according to one group working among them. Girls from a variety of backgrounds hooked on Heroin or cocaine. Can it be acceptable to allow them to use 'safe' brothels while not saving them from drug dependency? We must not forget some girls go on the game for other reasons. Lack of love in their life, from childhood upwards. Inadequacy feelings, maybe they just realise that there is easy money to be made out there! Nothing in such a lifestyle is straight forward.

Legalising the 'oldest profession' would not help anyone. Care for those involved, men or women, as men prostitute themselves also, is required. Those who sell themselves have many problems and unless we recognise this we cannot help them. Allowing them areas to operate just keeps them trapped in a world that dehumanises and destroys them. The false liberals who wish to allow them freedom to operate do not wish to help prostitutes, they just dump the liberal lifestyle on them and run off and let them fend for themselves. This is not care, it is selfishness!

What sort of man or woman needs to use prostitutes? Again we see broken lives and desperate needs. Again care and understanding is required, and a more positive acceptance of responsibilities will lead to a satisfying life.

Thursday, 14 December 2006

Cruel World!

For over a week now I have been suffering! Suffering such as no-one can imagine! Well, no-one but those who endure such a sickness like mine. It has threatened for weeks and eventually broke on Saturday. I was trapped indoors until yesterday, unable to sleep till last night, and that with difficulty, unable to enjoy anything that life has to offer.

Yes,I had a cold!

The 'common cold' seen by some as a mere trivial event is to those who suffer these things at their worst a cruel, demanding, destructive force that permeates the entire being and reduces the strong and mighty to dust! Yet my favourite checkout girl in Sainsburys yesterday muttered disparagingly 'Man cold.' I indicated I was dying but this received nothing more than a derogatory ' Huh.' The cruelty of women knows no bounds! Even now, my head hurts like an axe has been used on it, I can't stop coughing, menthol type sweets to enable me to breathe have left me sick to my stomach, concentration levels are feeble, and the temperature still affects me whatever it is!
The Christmas shop has been hindered,the box has not been sent, stamps not bought, other things left undone. Naturally the place stinks, all is dishevelled, and I really do not care a whit!

But I am not one to complain!

However, the cruel world that thinks a 'cold' is of no matter will soon be knocking on my door for sympathy. Then I will become like the checkout girl, 'I don't do sympathy!' Then they will be telling me how serious their 'disease' is, while I had a mere chill!

Over two hundred cold virus can be found. Each one constantly mutates and every single one has come by my door! I am convinced this one has been hanging around since that day in 1987 I got caught in the rain! Everybody suffers from them, none can escape! Yet there is no way to cure the thing? Colds and Flu, the real thing not the type of suffering I have just endured,costs the nation millions each year. Days off from work, loss of production, the suffering to young and old, even death in the already sick or feeble. Yet we dismiss this as nothing much. However, when I was working if I put 'Cold' on the sick note the manager would scowl. If however I wrote 'Chronic Rhinitis' they accepted this as a disease. That tells us how they got the job!

I have been suffering badly and getting no sympathy whatsoever! This cruel world owes me an apology!

Tuesday, 5 December 2006

Anti Christian Indoctrination

The rise in the attacks on Christianity is notable. While in days gone past Christians or church goers were seen as inoffensive and taken for granted, today they are opposed more and more.
Possibly the rise in the church numbers causes a reaction. Nominal churches lose members but the rise in numbers occurs where Jesus really is Lord and this always has a spiritual opposition.
Of course the change in behaviour seen in the UK in the last twenty years has led to a growth in what some call 'disrespect!' In short, consideration for others, not always a strong point, has reached a very low point. There are many who do show respect and thought for those around them, but in general the attitudes of selfishness and confrontation shoved down our throat by soaps like 'Eastenders' has been a major factor in producing a more thoughtless world.
The secular liberal attitude of the media, staffed with the, ever proud of themselves, middle classes, has encouraged a derogatory attitude to Christianity. One main reason being the loose sexual attitudes in which they wish to indulge and excuse. Another type of media is less concerned with liberalism and concerned only with sales. With twenty four hour news on Radio and TV the 'newspapers' are no longer the place to gain information in today's world. Instead 'the tabloids' encourage either 'love' or 'hate' in their readers. 'B' celebrities love lives, their doings and all around them are built up as important revelations. While in fact they are the detritus of broken lives. Readers are told to love them or hate them, but consideration of them is never ever allowed. These are people, but to the 'tabloids' that means nothing. No respect, just use them and take the cash!

These attitudes destroy decent society, and one thing that encourages this is Christianity. But in doing so it steps on the popular wrongs and suffers abuse form the 'democratic' liberals. The murder of the unborn child ad sexual deviation which destroys is opposed. As indeed are many other wrongs, but folks care nothing for that. What matters is their emotional response to those who indicate the destruction loose sexual, attitudes produce. One should know that this will always bring opposition, based on selfishness, nothing else.

This will increase in days to come, let us be aware of that.

Friday, 1 December 2006


What is it with television and eyes these days?
Every programme, each and every football match, every other advert shows us a needless, and cringe making, close up of someones eyes, or eye, as it usually is. Why? Are we supposed to see deep into their soul? is this yet another trendy shot the director or cameraman has read about in an art magazine? What does it tell us about Alex Ferguson that we do not already know when we see a close up of his eyes? One shot concentrated on just one eye, what do we learn? Nothing!
It's a football match and he is a loud aggressive manager. his eyes tell us only that those covering the game have absolutely no idea what they are doing. Instead of watching the football they are playing at art photographers. And that is of course something we all know makes no sense whatsoever!
It is perfectly possible to gain an understanding of an individual by looking at a normal head and shoulders portrait of them. Not only possible, but better! Since the dawn of TV the full face shown on screen has produced countless complaints. Why then do TV folk feel the desperate need to continue with it?
Show us the people, let them keep their eyes, and their dignity!

Sunday, 26 November 2006

Blackberry Juniper

Another Saturday came. I woke early. I had no choice, I was no longer dreaming so I must have been awake. I rose from the bed with all the grace of an arthritic camel. Bleary eyed I looked at the mess that comprised the living quarters. Dust rose from the carpet as I walked about, wondering what I was doing. Blackberry Juniper I suddenly thought! My mind raced, I gave concentrated thought, but I could not figure out a way to get her to come and do my housework.
Suddenly it occurred to me, it was Saturday! She might be here with her man! She might choose today to pop round! I looked at the mess, oh dear I thought. I looked at the red eyed creature in the mirror and noticed three weeks growth strewn with last nights supper. Oh Dear!

By nine o' clock, the floor was hoovered, the windows had been opened (so that's what fresh air smells like) dust had been eradicated, tidiness prevailed! A bath had been taken and a rusty blade used on the face.

I waited.

And waited.

The phone rang! Jings, crivvens that is her, she is coming today after all!
The phone went down. I do NOT want to take part in that survey!
I return to waiting.
And waiting.
And waiting.

I knew the way to make her come or not. I searched the web for a football match.
If she was coming, now would be the time!
She didn't!

Anyway, watching the football I forgot all about her !

Saturday, 25 November 2006


Dear Reader,

Note I don't say readers! As part of my effort to impress the job shop that I am in fact making an effort to seek work, I undertook a course with 'Learn Direct.' This seemed at first a really good idea. So I chose the English and Maths free options. The staff there are friendly, helpful and capable. Quickly they understood that I was an idiot (please refer to previous posts) and handled me accordingly. The English was dealt with quickly. I was tested and found to be good enough to do the test for a low type of 'O' level immediately. This was done and I await the results. What bothered me was the ease of the exam. I will not get 100% but I do feel the test was all too easy.
That tells us something about the number of successful passes among the kids today!

However, there is a great problem. I failed miserably the maths! So before I do the 'O' level I have to work towards this. Here lie dragons! You see, it is forty years since I have done sums. Forty years! occasionally work has meant some element of counting, and habit makes perfect, and while working such maths became easy to deal with. But apart from counting my change and keeping track of my budget I do no maths whatsoever , and have not done so for years!

Guess what? I am struggling!
I never understood the question,'If a train takes 2 hours to get from A to B what speed was it doing?' Who cares? But when I am asked to not only discover the speed, but translate this into kilometres I find my brain hurting! I have spent a week either struggling to understand the question or failing to read the thing and ending up miles away from the answer required.
Just like school days eh?

I found myself desperately looking for a job at one point just to escape the 'Millilitres into pints' question! Oh my head......

Wednesday, 22 November 2006

I am Actually Bored!

How unusual!
Normally my mind is full of stuff. Tonight it is empty. There are those who may indicate this is the usual state of my mind, but I disagree. I find the books uninspiring to night. I did not even try and find a football match to watch. Earlier I was searching around for something practical to do, and it is now heading for nine o' clock at night. I wonder why this is?

Could it be the discussion re God on the football messageboard? Am I thinking less about myself because of this? Has the difficulty with thinking just worn me out? This Learn Direct course is not as easy as I thought!
The idea of doing sums I last heard about forty years ago intrigued me. Pity I forgot I was too lazy to listen then! It sure is hurting my head now.
Maybe I am just getting healthier? I made a slight effort at exercise today, wandered round the town, and ate better. Has this helped?

No idea. That is that then eh!

Saturday, 18 November 2006

How to be an Idiot! no: 48

In this lesson we will ignore the broken washing machine, (broken when the handle came away in my hand). We will also ignore the P.C. that is lying at the side gathering dust, (this comes about because of its inability to switch off). The failure to install the VCR in such a way as to make it actually record, we will come to later,perhaps.
Instead today we will discuss remote controls.

The problem set before us remains a simple one.
One presses the mute button, to stop those infernal adverts getting up the nose, and finds that the sound goes away, but does NOT return when said button is pressed again.
The answer? One realises that this is an emergency. This means fiddling with the button, pressing hard, soft and bashing it. Pushing it to the left, right, up and down, always using a different type of invective, in the vain hope that on hearing what you say it will work once again.
It does not.
You switch TV off, you switch it on, you leave it overnight to right itself.
It does not.
Eventually you decide a new one is required.
Now, a proper idiot would walk around the shops for several days enquiring after said remotes. But as only one shop (Tesco) actually sold that particular TV it is unlikely the proper idiot will find one. Students ought to practice this technique often! I have!
However, on this occasion, we search diligently through piles of old receipts for the one issued when the telly was obtained. Hooray, we find it, hours later. Contact is made with Tesco where we speak to a bored dullard who insists on following the correct, and slow, procedure. He also insists on asking us to do what we have already done several times! He must be used to dealing with idiots.
Eventually, and I mean eventually, we are passed on to the suppliers and we speak to a retired world war two sergeant who considers all callers as either beneath him or so inadequate he has to treat them all as, idiots. He too follows the procedure, and informs us with as much concern for our welfare that Al-Queda show to passing Christian missionaries that this new remote control will cost £27.10. Sternly he asks if it is required, takes the details and sods of to drink tea while standing straight, chest out arms back and saluting the picture of the queen (circa 1953) on the wall.

Relaxation follows. Job complete, help is on the way!

The real idiot, if he wants to make a career of his idiocy, will now follow the following pattern
Ten minutes after completion of the stressful call a right idiot will note that the details given for the new remote concerns the remote control used by the television. However, the remote control that is giving trouble belongs to the 'Freeview Box!'
The phrase used in front of children is AAAAAAAAARRRRGGGHHHHHH!
Anything else may not be suitable. However, if idiots are unsure of the words not to be used they can learn such words from their children!

The complete idiot then considers saying nothing, buying a new set top box, and running away to Russia.
However, while praying hard that he may not speak to the same folk once again, he calls back. This while kneeling on the floor and hiding behind the desk, so they don't see him, and informs the nice wee lassie that answers that he is an idiot in training. She accepts this without contradiction and while he congratulates himself that he has twice worked his way through the 'Choose number one' choices, without ending up talking to sales, and therefore avoided ending up buying something he neither needs nor can afford! To get hm off her hands nice lass one passes the idiot over to nice young lass two. She listens attentively to his story of woe, decides she has a right one here, and fixes things in that way women do when putting their husbands right without smirking. Without once condescendingto call him a buffoon she treats the caller like a buffoon and puts everything to rights. Not only does she promise the goods will arrive within days, the cost will be almost halved to £12.24! Good girl! The idiot then considers asking if she will marry him, but call ends while he ponders the question.

Job complete at last! What, says the professional idiot could possibly cause stress now?

Saturday, new remote arrives. At this point the knowing idiot will whoop with delight, rush to install the batteries in the remote and try it out. Joy will fill the heart, smiles will light up his face and while the idiot prances around he will discover that the sound STILL has not returned!
Once again the phrase is AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!! However, on this occasion accompanied by a real deep felt depression! The idiot will struggle to the set top box, he will then do what he ought to have done several silent days ago, and fiddle with the wires at the back. He will then notice the sound has returned, and he has wasted time, anxiety (that could have been used elsewhere) and £12.24 plus phone charges!

Today's lesson is complete. Now, read, learn digest and go out there and forget all you have learned.
That will make you a complete professional idiot in no time whatsoever!

Lesson ends.

Monday, 13 November 2006

Mike Newell Luton Town Manager

Mike Newell criticised the use of women to officiate at professional football matches. I have to say I agree with him! For too long we have seen an erosion of common sense in the UK. One example is the false equality that thinks that placing women in a man's world is a good thing.
It is not. Instead it erodes the difference between men and woman, an ungodly idea, and one encouraged by the enemy of our souls.
We have seen the damage feminism has brought. Instead of giving females the freedom to be themselves we see generations of women unsure as to what they really want! However, hope can be seen by so many women who have discovered that what they want to be is female! Rejecting the nonsense spouted by lesbians masquerading as female, these girls now have a chance to be themselves. Good on them!
Others still encourage the false notion that wherever men are found, women must be there.
This is a notion that must be rejected. We ought to encourage each individual to be themselves. They must be free to understand what the person really wants. however far to many are led by what they read in women's magazines. half truths and downright lies which fail to enable them to see the life ahead of them. There are many jobs women can do in this world, refereeing professional football matches is not one of them.

Sunday, 12 November 2006

Remembrance Day

When the United Kingdom remember s the dead of previous wars and minor conflicts, we hear news of four more deaths in Iraq. A patrol boat attacked tonight, four dead, several seriously hurt. I suppose some would call it ironic!
This erroneous war, started for the wrong reason, bungled badly at the beginning by the American administration, and leaving us high and dry has become a millstone around our neck.
We supposedly fight the 'War on Terror,' however many believe it is Yankee imperialism and possibly just a grab for oil. Who knows the real reason? Nobody does! We know the cost however.
far too many British men killed in action. Far too many risking their lives unsure as too why.

What is the answer?
No-one knows!
How sad is that?

Thursday, 9 November 2006

Heart of Midlothian

Losing by one goal to nil to a strong Hibernian side is no disgrace. Losing with no tactics, players who are not good enough to wear the shirt, and good players who are so disillusioned with the foolhardy behaviour behind the scenes, is a tragedy!
The time is now for Vlad to decide if he wants this club to be successful or not. If so he must step back, hard for a man with his inherent weakness, and appoint a manager who can perform. He must allow the said manager to do his job without his woeful interference, and encourage success instead of this slow death we are now heading towards.
Either that or he must leave!
Enough is enough!

Friday, 27 October 2006

Heart of Midlothian

Once again we see this great football club in a spin!
Romanov, who has always been 'different' in his approach, may have gone too far this time.
Pressley, Gordon and Hartley appear at a press conference and the talk is of 'player unrest.'
Too many mediocre east European players coming in, and this at a time when the squad has never been so strong! Vlads intention to raise young Lithuanians and sell them on is a dud! They are just not good enough. No matter how many Russian coaches he produces they will never replace what is already there!

Will he stay? Yes. Will things improve? Who knows.
Another typical day at Tynecastle!

Thursday, 26 October 2006

Strange Flu Symptoms

My friend Blackberry Juniper has been suffering from the strange flu like symptoms that have arisen in recent years. Colds and flu used to arrive in their time, destroy your life for a while, then move on. Now the bug arrives, and lingers. One day, or more, in the throat. One day, or more, in the head. Slowly it moves around the body affecting various parts with malady. This goes on so long that I have suffered one bug for a time and it has rolled into the next one. Why?
Is there a reason for this new style cold? It cannot in truth be called flu, even though we use that name. But it debilitates, causes suffering, and is a nuisance. Symptoms can be dealt with, sometimes. But the disease just will not end!

Saturday, 21 October 2006

The Cave of Adullam

The sun shining in the cave opening brightens the whole place. Sunshine, in the worst of circumstances, cheers all things. What a great invention! However, looking round into the hidden depths the environment is far more gloomy. Cobwebs hang in the corners, whole generations of spiders have made their homes here undisturbed. The dank air is suffused with the odour of ageing onion leftovers, the traditional British foodstuff curry, and a wide variety of human foulers that need not be mentioned here!
The rusting washing machine, in good working order until the handle came off, sits sullenly in a recess. The trouble and stress required to have running water installed, or electricity and gas knows no equal. Utility companies, especially privatised money greedy ones, have no concern for 'service' of any kind. A disgrace began by Maggie Thatcher and her money obsessed friends! What passes for a kitchen lies deep under a crust off fallen breadcrumbs, left over pasta, tattie peelings, empty rusting tins, and so on. All coloured by a variety of splashes of sauces which now energetically are turning a bright green with the mould. Maybe I should start a penicillin factory?
The video recorder, which doesn't record, the wireless, with an out of control volume knob, and the broken community of PC's lie covered in a thick gray dust. Newspapers, colour supplements and half read books cover the floor. Mice hold parties in one of the tunnels to the left. Beasties of all sort crawl, wriggle and slime their way around the walls.
It's true what they say. There is no place like home! Well, when the sun shines.

Wednesday, 18 October 2006


Why am I always sick?
I'm convinced these cold symptoms have been with me since 1987! Constantly I am assailed by a bug in the head, or throat or somewhere. An underlying tiredness comes and goes with amazing regularity. WHY? I have tried all the usual things, and one or two unusual, which I won't go into! But again I find myself down with this virus! In days of yore a cold came, caused deathly suffering, and went in three days! Now it comes one long lasting symptom after another and starts after the previous one has just gone.
Good job I'm not one to comlpain.
Madonna adopts a child from Africa. I hope she does this for the child's sake and not her own. I wonder if the better idea would be to spend some of her wealth enabling the child, and others, to be brought up in their own country? Too often the woman's emotions rule the head. When the woman is a celebrity I think questions need to be asked.
Think on this. God creates us. Because he is perfect we cannot be near him, so he gives his Son to die for us, as a substitution. Many respond to this grace, and struggling maybe, find a new satisfying life. So how come with all I know, and with all the grace I have received, how come I am so bad? I still want you God. But, know.

Tuesday, 17 October 2006


This writing lark is not as easy as it looks. I wrote a small item for some friends and when I looked it over I had to make one or two changes. It took several days to complete those changes! As I wrote all seemed well, but later the wonderful text turned into total drivel! Similar happenings occur when I am lying half asleep in my bed. In my mind I write wonderful articles full of drive, inspiration and constructive thinking. By the time I reach the keyboard this has dissipated faster than an ice cream in the desert! Where does it go?
A year or so back I started to write my tome on the Great War. It naturally got forgotten in the rush to make a living and find sufficient sleep at the same time. When it came back to my attention I could not believe what a load of rubbish stared me in the face! I reckon someone had sabotaged my effort!
If you have stumbled through this I congratulate you. I tell you I am not going to re-read it, just in case.

Thursday, 12 October 2006

Press Coverage

Never fails to amaze me how the press twist things to suit themselves. Football reporting is the clearest example of tabloid spin imaginable! If the team win by a lucky goal they may well be called 'all conquering' but if they lose that way it is 'shockingly poor!'
Last night England (always shockingly poor it has to be said) lost a second goal from a back pass that bobbled past the keeper. Today it is called 'His mistake' or 'blunder.' But it was neither a blunder or a mistake. Just one of those things that happen. The fact that England are rank rotten (amen) is ignored so long as one man can take the blame. Poor journalism!
Scotland meanwhile did Ok against the Ukraine. However the refs dodgy decisions undid us at the end. No way should Pressley have been sent off. No way was Shevchenkos dive a penalty! But the English press will concentrate on Scotland being beat, not Scotland losing!
Overall while the English struggle to accept they are not one of the worlds top sides, and never have been, Scotlands slow progress from the past few years continues. While there is a long way to go hope is there for the future. The young Scotland sides, Under 19s, 16s etc are doing well.
For us the way is up. Until England accept their failings and lose the needless unjustified arrogance they have only failure ahead. Failure and a long line of scapegoats no doubt.

Some journalists exist. Why is football lacking in them? Why is there so little good football writing? The fanzines of the recent past showed that some folks out there could write. How come the press ignore this and concentrate on 'loving' or 'hating' individuals or clubs?
We deserve better.
Good also to see the two Irish sides ad Wales sorting themselves out. Northern Ireland in particular are doing well for such a small nation.

Monday, 9 October 2006

Withholding Self From Jesus

For far too many years Jesus has loved me.
For far too many years I have found myself withholding my self from him!
After all he has done, after all those answers to prayer, all the reaching out to me, I sit here in the Adullam cave, keeping myself, and merely existing.

It is one thing when among Gods people to respond, one thing when the Holy Spirit moves on me, but another thing altogether when early morning comes. Then I hold me tight. I want to follow my way. Work may call, things to be done, places to visit, fun to have and Jesus can wait, sometimes for days.

Many times he has been here. Close and real. But have I not clammed up within myself? Have I not withheld my self, me, from him? I use logic and realise I must let go to him. I work it out in my mind, and understand the situation, but hang back. He yearns for my love. He gets offhand responses, unless I am in trouble of course!

Jesus, why must I be like this? I must let go, I must let you, I must.....
But I sit in the cave, empty.
I have me, and nothing but....

Friday, 6 October 2006

Muslim veils

Should Muslim women wear veils in the UK?
Well now I think about it the wearing of such veils seems wrong to me. It sets up a barrier between the woman and the world around her. Worse, some wear the vile not because they want to, but because their man dictates that they do. To me that is wrong! It is one thing for a man to want his wife to do something, it is another when she is just an object that belongs to him, as it appears to often to be the case with some immigrant attitudes.
For many years the UK policy has been 'diversity.' That is, encouraging folks who come here to be themselves and feel welcome. However, far too many have misused this, and incomers have become more important than the indigenous population! No wonder the BNP find a following!
It is time people were treated equally and as 'people' not objects! Immigrants ought to learn the so called 'British way of life.' By doing this they, as the majority are already doing, are able to keep most of the lifestyle they have left and enjoy the fruits of work in this nation. Very good too!
But some seem determined to live their way, and claim racism when they are opposed. Too bad I say. These are the vociferous minority, and must be listened to, but disagreed with. One sign of such people is the vile. It is not a Muslim religious necessity, but a cultural one, and as this is not British culture it needs removal!
Democratic we may be, but pragmatism in all things is needful.
Should Muslims be free to follow Islam? Yes! But the veil should be removed, now!

Wednesday, 4 October 2006

Hard Work Looking For Work!

Looking for work is harder than working, especially when there are limits in what you can do.
So I buy the relevant papers, lookup the pertinent websites, and ask around, or network as they call it now, in order to see what might be available.
But depression is not far away.
Why? No matter how good or bad you are. No matter your age, talent, knowledge, experience and willingness there is always the problem that suitable employment just does not exist!
If you have a degree employers think you are 'over qualified for the job. If you are like me, you have not got enough qualifications! You can be to old or young, even though they will not say so now, too inexperienced, or wrongly experienced. There may be something you lack, in my case a driving license, or the distance is too much. Disability, as with my arthritic knee, will be a problem, however some look for a disabled employee to make it look like the company 'cares!'
And in the end, the money is poor. Round here anyway.
One major problem is caused by living in a small town. Even major cities can make job finding difficult, but little market towns leave little leeway for those with few skills.
So, if you know of a vacancy for a no nothing who likes photography, history, football (naturally) and is trained only in humping things, who is not keen on dealing with people, wants to work more or less on his own, is broke, can't drive, and is a headcase, please call!
I sit here in my depression, waiting.

Tuesday, 3 October 2006


Yesterday I went to Somerfields. I go there in the middle of the day because it is always empty. The poor quality of the goods and the cheap, off hand staff make it by far the least of the supermarkets in the town, if not the country! However it was mid morning when I turned up there. Lo and behold it was stuffed full of staff, all running around like headless chickens shelf filling! Never before have I seen so many workers in Somerfields.
The customer count was high also, with some folks doing the weekly, or is it monthly shop that morning. Imagine, buying every thing you need from this store! Jings! But here once again the true nature of the store showed through. While the chickens filled the shelves no-one bothered to serve the customers! Only two tills were opened, both staffed by unsmiling snails. Here also Somerfields absurd checkout system shows its weakness. The far too small, and clearly cheap, bags hang on rails at the end of the far too small checkout. While the goods pile up folks struggle to fill the bags and get on their way. This is excaberated by the fact that most are female, and as you know, slow at everything that requires simple logic
I headed for the cigarette kiosk where small baskets can be served. No quicker, and the glum fat sixteen year old, more intent on getting home to watch some imitation Oprah type programme, was doing her best while other staff bundled around beside her helping no-one and doing less.
Somerfields, the down market, less classy store! I wonder if they ever ask themselves why Tesco make a £billion half year profit eh?

Sunday, 24 September 2006

Neurotic Women

Why must women be so neurotic? Watching a Gran and daughter walk through a park with the six year old boy and his dog I got the impression this kid will never survive the year!
'Watch the road!' they yelled, even thought the road was a hundred yards away. 'Do this , do that!'When the kid was happily running around bothering no-one. I almost cried out 'Leave him alone you stupid women!' 'There is no danger so why the fuss?'
Such needless vexation just irritates the child, and could lead to long term damage. For one thing he is male. Therefore he will not think, act, or understand the world as they do. Will they comprehend this? I doubt it. Does he have a father? I wonder. Too many stupid girls get themselves pregnant, expect the state to provide for them, and raise a child in circumstances God did not intend. There are many unbalanced kids growing up and raising similar kids today because of such poor parenting. Of course not all kids suffer badly, nor do they all go wrong. Many turn out to be excellent citizens. But why is their life made harder by having a dysfunctional family from the beginning?
Mothers need to worry less. Today's mums do show their neurosis all to freely. In the past women recgnised the dangers and made sure kids did also. Now angst is the order of the day all to often. Why? Because they feel for the child as a mother should? No! Because they feel for themselves. It is not the child but them that counts. He is not a child brought into the world to be reared in the right way, he is an extension of her personality. This is not good. The child ought never to leave a mother, but has to be regarded as an individual, not a continuation of the mothers ego.
The answer? Mothers, and women in general need to spend less time reading magazines that feed their deep seated need to be reassured, and more time just getting on with it. Assurance will follow. It is the same for us all. It is the way for millions of women in deprived countries, who have a real need to worry. So why not here in our fat over developed land?

Friday, 22 September 2006

Uttar Pradesh Christians

India is a secular country, so why is it that Christians, and Muslims, suffer persecution?
The present government, the BJP, is a nationalist Hindu party. They see other religions as 'foreign' influence so do their best to oppose them. An anti Muslim feeling has of course been strong in India for a very long time. Independence in 1947 saw some terrible suffering for all peoples.
However in recent times the persecution of Christians has become a major problem. Churches, sometimes long established, come under fire in many ways. Buildings are vandalised, individuals are attacked, in some cases murder has been committed. If this causes difficulties for large churches in major cities, imagine the hassle endured by those in small towns or villages. Areas where authority is poor, or supports the transgressor. State governments and police often offer subtle support for such crimes. While many may keep to the rule of law,the law can be abused depending on the pressure from the top. Pressure from the top, that is local and state government, often comes. For instance in Uttar Pradesh false accusations are laid at the door of pastors. Some are charged with 'converting' people from one religion to another, a crime in some states. Lies and rumours are used to attack the churches. Little is reported in the press, local or national.
Why is the Indian government allowing such things to occur? How come other nations do not attack this abuse of human rights, at local and national level? Violence against Christians is not new, it has occurred since the beginning, but questions must be asked of the Indian nation as to its secular status.
Christians need to give more prayer help to those in Uttar Pradesh and the rest of India suffering such abuse. Governments need to pressure the BJP to live up to the constitution which they are supposed to uphold!

Thursday, 21 September 2006

Job Search

This job search lark is a bind eh? I knew it would not be easy, especially with the leg limiting the work I can do, but even though the internet is a great help it remains a slog! I have just looked through several sites listing a wide variety of work vacancies, few which I could fill I may add, and now I am worn out! Maybe it is just because I am one of natures lazy folks, or maybe I have worn myself out just too much doing the last job I am not sure but this work search is hard work! So, I have searched the web, got the papers, asked all and sundry, and here I am, nowhere! Some things never change eh?

Soon I must report to the Employment folks, sign on and explain myself to the little corporals who infest those places. Then I will be free from their attention for another fortnight. Unless the disability man calls of course.
This disability thing is a laugh right enough. Throughout the nation there are folks who claim disability benefit while they have nothing whatsoever wrong with them! The benefit folks have been active though. Secret cameras have filmed 'injured' men with 'bad backs' working quite happily carrying heavy loads. Successful prosecutions have ended their benefits and made them pay large amounts back to the Benefit Agency. Quite right too! However, many who are on benefit now carry walking sticks, even though they do not need them! Just in case a camera is around when they are out! In some parts of the country I think such sticks must be a big seller for the local shops!
I am not that disabled though, just limited by the arthritis. No more lugging things for me!
Not that I am in a hurry to return to work I must say. This rest is great for me. How I needed it! I really need another two months of this before I go on a real thorough search for work. But for the moment I am content, as long as I have enough to keep me going. But it must be a new way off life. Something constructive and worthwhile. After all, at 55 this is my last chance to do something now!


Tuesday, 19 September 2006


Why is it Muslims get so excited these days? The Pope makes a comment re a 14th century king and riots break out throughout the Muslim world. Why? The Pope apologises, Muslim leaders accept this apology, yet political leaders in some Islamic states press for more. To me it seems to often Islam is used to benefit political endeavors and has nothing to do with religious concerns.
But in recent days we have had many agitations in the Muslim world. Danish cartoons were the cause of riots, now the Popes comments follow suit, Iraq and Afghanistan cause protests in many places. Why the outrage?
If Jews, Christians or Hindus dislike things there are rarely such demonstrations, and those that occur are usually peaceable. Why do the recent demonstrations regarding a comment on 'Islam spread by violence' result in such violence? Posters calling for 'Death to infidels' cannot reflect well on Islam. Does 'Islam' not mean 'peace?'
Quite simply if Islam worldwide wants to be taken seriously and respected then it needs to change. Change in the sense of understanding the West, which it tends to regard as 'Christian,' a term that means nothing to most living in the West! You can have a Muslim country, but you cannot have a Christian country, you can only get Christian individuals. A huge difference and one not understood, nor explained to Islamic societies. A huge cultural gulf exists between Islam and the rest. It is time for islamic societies to comprehend better nations outside their own. It is possible, most Islamic immigrants to Western nations settle in well. Few would actually want to return to their, or their parents origins. That alone speaks volumes!

Islam will never back down, why? Because to many use it for their own ends. As in days of yore Christianity was often used in this way by political leaders, Spain in South America is just one obvious example, Islam is used this way today. In fact it always has been used this way. So the Roman Catholic Pope was right to say Islam was a violently spread religion. He forgot to add, so was the Roman Catholic!

Jesus does not spread his 'good news' by violence, but in the hearts of individuals. You cannot force people into true love and faith in the person of Jesus, it has to be offered freely. That, in itself, is harder than being forced to obey without thinking. The giving of the self, self denying, is the most difficult act any man can endure!

Monday, 18 September 2006

Female Historians

What is it about these females who think they are historians?
Why is it they always write about women, and always, 'feisty' or 'independent' or 'heroic' women? Are they studying history or themselves?
Not for one moment can it be said these women need their stories told to enlighten us about the past. Nothing in the many volumes produced in recent years changes our understanding of history. No, all we have is a desperate attempt by middle class lassies, who have never had a real job, to live out the prejudices built up during their formative years. The benefit to those girls working on Sainsburys checkout, delivering the post or driving lorries is hard to define.
The fulfilment in writing a book that satisfies one girls desire to right a wrong that never existed, except in her own mind, is a vacuous one.
Come on girls, write about a historical subject that is not an extension of your angst, but a subject that will enlighten us all, even if it will not sell to like minded middle class wasters!


Friday, 15 September 2006

First Week of Unemployment Nearly Over

I am so glad I had this week. The pressure is off and I have had some rest. Never realised how tired I had become. The bug still lingers but another week will remove that. The job seeking begins in earnest today when I (at last) get to speak to someone in the job shop! I spoke on the phone to a central office on Monday, was called again the next day and asked more or less the same questions, and received the paperwork yesterday to check it over. Today I speak to what may be a human being. I suspect it will be a bored functionary with an agenda to remove me from their little list and fulfil their main object of paper pushing! If it looks good on paper folks upstairs will be happy, the effect on me means little! The numbers game matters more!
The questions, what can you do? Nothing. What skills? None. Hindrances? Bad leg, dumb, old. Have you considered becoming a suicide case maybe? This will be asked with official blank look.

In truth the future looks bleak but I am too dumb to realise it yet! So I plod along. Once the food runs out, the bills fail to be paid and I am dumped on the street then I may begin to think things are not going well. So while I collect together the vast quantities of paperwork I need for this heartless interrogation you sit back and enjoy the weight increasing as you stuff your fat mouth with foodstuffs you don't need. Don't worry about me, I can survive malnutrition.........

Thursday, 14 September 2006


How lovely it is to have time! Without the requirement to rise at 3:40 a.m. there is the chance to stay awake and watch football, even at ten in the evening! Fantastic! By waking up at six I can face the day, well almost! It must be difficult for some to appreciate these simple things in life. But early risers will understand, and, if still rising early, be very jealous. The relaxation that comes without the requirement to work is just what I need!
The physical side of the job, coupled with my mental tiredness was playing havoc with my life. Bugs would not leave me, concentration was often difficult, energy lasted no longer than the Tuesday, and my temper did not manage that long! I want this rest period to continue for a month or two yet. I hope some money comes to ease the time mind you.
Could this get boring? Will I actually miss meeting people? Time will tell. And I have lots that I can do. There is the feeble attempts at Latin, Russian and improving my written English which could be attended to. Many parts of this flat need attention, where is the Hoover anyway? I could even attempt to write things, and maybe see if I can produce something worth reading. I might attempt the J.Net lads today. They will stomach experiments. And be honest about them!
Of course I may even meet the lovely Blackberry Juniper at the weekend for a short while. Unless her man forbids it, or rain puts her off. We will see.

Tuesday, 12 September 2006



So now begins a new life. Searching for a new job
But in truth I don't want one just now. I just want to sleep for two months and rest my knees. Then I want something worth doing!

Friday, 1 September 2006

Church Traditions

How many differing traditions there are in the church.
If we consider those churches holding to the basic truths of the Gospel we still find a wide variety of liturgy, worship, outfits, and procedures on show.
Should this be so? Would it not be better for all to do things the same way?
Well yes, but then we lose the many cultural differences that exist. And I refer here to the ones that do not clash with Gods ways. All cultures have good and bad.
For me, the simple way is best. No need for dressing up, no need for Episcopal heirachy, no need for anything but useful buildings. Simple, and straight forward is best. The way Jesus himself appeared.
Churches need authority and to cling to the truth. That way we appeal to the majority.

Tuesday, 15 August 2006

Some Days Later

So instead of completely falling apart sanity, of some sort returns.
Prayer to the living God works.
Naturally it meant changing my ways, removing the hate, and beginning to do things the right way.
Now there is movement in the secondary things. Possibly I may get the Medical Retirement I seek form work, just possibly. There is a chance the folks I objected to may be dealt with, in the future.
But mostly I have found a slight return to biblical fact! I had put Jesus aside, and let me take over.

The fear of being lost is great. I have no doubt about the existence of Hell. But I seem to forget everything during daily life. I can no longer keep Jesus in my head as it were during worktime, and forget him at most others also.

Thing is, he has put himself out for me many times, I have seen him acting for me in a wide variety of ways. Why then can I not throw myself into him? How come I hold back so often, and end up in a mess so much? Mentally I am too tired to make the effort, and physically this job is making that worse. So I need the job to end, and my mind to rest also.
But it is in the heart I need to give all to the one that really loves me.
Help me do this Jesus, help me truly 'worship' you now!

Thursday, 10 August 2006

Falling Apart?

It seems I am falling apart. Every thing seems to go wrong. I look for an answer and the only answer is, it's your fault! As if I didn't know!
Last week God appeared to be so near. I prayed, began to study the book again, wanted to 'do' things and live the life. Suddenly I find someone at work a real bother. For hours it rankles and leaves me fretting. As this subsides others do the dirty on me at work. Not in a real malicious manner, but again I am so angry I let everybody know what little thought is in my mind! I think they hear..... This ruins my weekend. I am angry, and although I know I ought to just forgive and move on, I don't want to. I want to hurt them, badly! Back at work, vexed, the cloud continues. More trouble.
I have a problem with the knee, and have asked for early retirement so I can be paid off. After too long a wait this is refused. So, vexed from the circumstances around me I ask for medical retirement, and am yet to hear the result. I intended to leave even if I failed to be compensated.
However, it strikes me this company will be unwilling to pay. So I am unsure what to do. Then another situation strikes me. I look for help from the notoriously lazy and don't get it. I complain to management, and believe I have got a positive response. When I return later that day I am shocked to discover I have not. Hiding behind the unions lazybones gets his own way again!
Now I am still angry from other things, and forgiveness is far from me now. I decide that if refused a pay off I will stay and refuse to do work that interferes with the knee. A tribunal may be needed.

But that is the outward signs of my disposition. Inwardly I am angry and ready to yell at anyone, friend or foe. Consideration for others has long gone. Is it selfishness, spoiled brat syndrome, or what? Recent years have seen a tiredness creeping through my mind. This job has added to it. Now I have no resistance to such attitudes.

Once again I see myself for what I am. Small and worthless. Failure at everything, and surrounded by the studies, works and good intentions that litter my life and have never reached anything like fulfillment. The bible verse, 'I am a worm and no man' seems relevant.

I feel lost again. Far from Jesus, aware of his attitude and kindness to me, but not concerned with mending anything. It does seem every time I say OK God, let's go, that it goes wrong. Satan or God testing me? No need for either to do that, we know the result beforehand.
What to do? Run away? No money. No future either at this point. If I lose the job I have nothing but debt and little chance of another. Age and limited prospects see to that. Mind you, I would much rather just lie on my bed and sleep for a month to end this weariness that is with me always. Sleep, oh how I want to sleep!

Wednesday, 2 August 2006


I have to give up work. The doctor informed me that there is a touch of arthritis under the knee. Therefore I must give up the job. Being a postman with a lot of walking and short term cycling is doing the knee no good. Mind you, the state of the knees are not very good anyway. The climbing six story flats has left the knees aching. Since then things have got worse. Too many hills, steps, and strain on the knee have left it sore and now it is time to move on. So I have applied for the early retirement opportunity,but nothing seems to happen there. Maybe I ought to apply for medical retirement. It is important I get one or the other, otherwise I have no money to pay off the debts. I was smiling smugly a few weeks ago as I thought it would go through easily, but I was wrong. Now I fear I may get nothing, and leave soon I must! There are problems of course. I have no money, and debts to pay. At fifty five I have little chance of any other job in this small town. I am trained in things that need a strong knee! Hmmmmm, not looking good for an unemployable idiot eh? I am aware Jesus does not leave us, but am I following him? The things I am doing, are they what he wants? Am I really trusting him, or doing it myself?

Saturday, 29 July 2006

Cooler Air

So, cooler air is heading this way, behind the rain!
Yes let it come! We need it. But I have enjoyed the sunshine. Ninety degrees some days, out in it all the time. Good stuff, but in truth a bit much really. Burning hot and leaves my arms brown. From my elbows up everything is the normal peelywally white however! Global warming has its advantages and this is one of them, sunshine!
I look forward to working in heavy constant rain again. You have no idea how much fun that is!
( that's sarcasm by the way) Weather around the 70-80 degrees is the best I reckon. Hot enough to make you smile, but allows you to breathe! More of that this summer and I will be grateful.

Sunday, 23 July 2006

Summer Rain

The aroma that hangs in the air after a few minutes of summer rain is a delight. The trees, shrubs, and flowers that look so good now scent the air. The heat quickly dies the wet streets and the air clears and breathing is easier once again. It always seems to me that rain in the evening leaves a much deeper, longer lasting fragrance. The 'cool of the day' after the heat of the sun is relaxing, and all seems well with the world.
Spring and Summer,the best parts of the year. How can people live in the far north among rain, constant cloud cover, or floating ice packs? Warmth for me every time!

Sunday, 16 July 2006

Israel and the Present Conflict

Hamas decision to kidnap an Israeli soldier was clearly intended to cause trouble. Did they do this in conjunction with Hezbollah? Their attack on an army post, killing three and kidnapping two others, was clearly planned in advance. Why? What was the point of disturbing the peace, such as it was? So far we have no real idea of the reasons, except hate of course, maybe we might never know.

Some see this from a biblical point of view. They will tell off the many prophecies concerning the last days, and cheerfully point out that Israel's return to the land God gave them is a fulfillment of one of these prophecies. Even more cheerfully, they will let you know only twenty remain to be fulfilled! Smile, your doomed!

For me, I believe the biblical prophecies will come true, God does not lie. However, for you and me it does not matter. Why? Because we could die tonight and not be around when it all explodes. Our task therefore is not to read into scripture, but to live it out! The end times, so beloved of many, are in the hands of our God, we merely have to live with him!

So, worry not about the end. Do not be infatuated with it either. But seek Christ now, love him, let him love you! Put aside all the things which entangle, money, sex, jobs, daily life. Put them aside in the sense of letting Jesus be first, and they second. This is where the cross comes in. For it is hard to do, but in the end it is worth it.

God is in control, glory to him!

Tuesday, 11 July 2006

Things You Miss

The view from the Edinburgh window was once something I missed so much. Looking north over the Forth the lights of Burntisland would glitter all night, ship would pass along the Forth giving life to the scene. The skies in late Autumn would be magnificent, and the only fault that could be found was the haar and rain that so often assails us there.
Londons view was to the East. Marvelous in the morning, the bright sun shining over the church opposite, crows circling above noisily chasing the occasional Kestrel. But in the afternoon it was dire. How I missed those Edinburgh skies!
Now, here in the wilds of Essex the view North brings lovely skies. It is understandable why Constable spent so much time painting clouds! When in London it is so hard to 'see' the sky! Here at least that is possible, and we do not realise how much daylight and space is needed in our lives. But the twinkling of lights in the distance is missing. No ships pass by in the distance, only the occasional ned yelling his way home.
I realise there are many things more important to some of us that we can miss. However, for me, the sight of a sky, an interesting view, makes life more attractive.

Saturday, 8 July 2006

62 Year Old Gives Birth

So a woman has had a child at sixty two years of age?
Should we rejoice? I think not. When she is Eightytwo, the child will be twenty. Instead of being a mother she will be a grandmother, or even a great grandmother! How very sad.
How sad a woman would put her selfish desires before care of the child.
This happens so often these days, and the child is just a prisoner of the circumstances.
Very sad.

Sunday, 2 July 2006

What is England?

During Euro 96 the English nation discovered they had a flag! After many years of regarding the Union Flag as 'English' the St George's Cross was rediscovered as their own. Devolution, far too long in coming, had at last woken the English up to the idea that Britain was not 'England' but a 'United Kingdom.' Since then of course the cry has been for separation of The Scots from the English, not by the Scots, but by resentful Englishmen who dislike the idea of paying for devolution. The fact of abusing Scotland for three hundred years can be ignored of course, the abuse of Scots oil to feed an English governments policy problems is never mentioned!
However, while the occasional 'English National Party' springs up full of umbrage, the English nation begins to recapture what it is to be English. The only problem they have is knowing what 'being English' actually is! What is England?
Scots have their own idea of Scotland. A mythical land of mist covered hills and bagpipes, with drunk, drug abusers in the cities and a football team that should be at the highest level in the game, but isn't. Well, maybe. The Welsh are standing at this moment on hillsides singing their hearts out, well the men are anyway, the women are in bingo halls or shopping centres.

But what is 'England?'
The English do not know. Vast numbers of flags have flown from cars and vans, buses and bicycles for weeks. Shops and houses are bedecked with a multitude of the things, but is this 'England?' Or just a herd to enlist in?

The nation is split into two halves. North and South, with the bit in between neither one nor the other. The South East cares nothing for the rest, is overcrowded and affluent. The North West is overcrowded, full of violent drugs gangs and surrounded by wonderful countryside. The South West speaks a language all of it's own, and has a greater rainfall than Yorkshire, the Anglian region, while wealthy, is flat and ignored. What is England? Can it be found in poetry, either of the past or present? Shakespeare maybe, though he wrote only what was acceptable to the king or queen of the day. Historic buildings? War hero's? Sporting achievement? Irony? Attitude? What is England?

Do the English know, or do they even care enough to find out? What if they search for 'England' and find there is nothing there? Then what? Nationalism is only skin deep after all.

Sunday, 25 June 2006

History Societies

Spent an hour or two at the local History Fair. Excellent idea I say.
History is of course the most important of subjects after 'reading, 'riting and 'rithmatic!
With no understanding of where we come from, and the previous history of the world around us, with only a vague idea of the society in which we live, we are left with a distorted view of our nation. This indeed is something which troubles many Englishmen these days. Devolution has broken the false image of 'Britain' and brought the reality of the unions sham to the fore.
But that is a debate for another time.

This fair included stands from many local history societies, showing the interest folks do have in their local past, museums and re-enactments from Roman gladiators! That was something that got the crowd going. A very well acted show indeed.
Yet among the WW2 stands, the Record Office Bibliophile preservers, and the Police museum the stand that I enjoyed most was the metal detectors. These folks who wander through the fields gathering metal items that have lain untouched for, sometimes, thousands of years do a great job in bringing the past to life for us! In fact I held in my hand a gold coin, not very large but quite heavy, that was minted by the last Celtic King of the are before the Romans took over.
I was informed that I was only the twentieth person to hold it for over two thousand years!
That is bringing history to life! Mind you, I wonder if twenty people ever held this rich mans coin before it was lost.
This is the history to give folks! Now, if only I could work out some way to make a living out of history.......

Wednesday, 21 June 2006


How is it that when a point of discussion comes up, it soon becomes an argument?
Now, when does a debate become a fight? Well I suggest this happens when you are tired, annoyed by self centred attitudes, or just wrong and refuse to admit it!
Obviously, this does not include me. I am open minded, nice, polite, and right! Right!
Good. I am glad you agree.

But once an argument becomes heated how do you stop it? Humour can help, confessing your wrong might do it, if your wrong of course. Or just realising that dealing with the closed mind of a woman will never lead to a happy debate. Logic is removed when her emotions are involved. Ever heard yourself say 'What is it about the word 'No' that you don't understand woman!' Often I hear you say.

Ah well. Life is a bitch and then you meet one.........

Tuesday, 20 June 2006

Women Tennis Players and Money

The girls at Wimbledon claim they are being paid less than the men, why? They play less sets, three at most instead of five, and feel that being given less money for doing less work is 'unequal!' The truth is these selfish greedy women take MORE money out of Wimbledon than the men! How? By playing in more tournaments! by having to play longer matches the men are less inclined to join in the doubles or mixed doubles games. This however does not matter to the 'two sets at most' girlies. Not only do they make money by entering these matches they have more time to sit around feeling sorry for themselves. Poor dears. If only equality was what it ought to be! Men being men, and women being women. Each being the best they could be and free to be themselves and develop themselves into the best possible. To accept the physical, mental, emotional differences that exist, and to LIVE WITH IT rather than force an unreal world on themselves and others. Then we could have equality. Then pay would matter less, but be rewards for ACTUAL work, and not just earned by going into a huff! And let's face it, tennis is boring!

Saturday, 17 June 2006

Where Has the Time Gone?

This World Cup is good stuff, but it does leave no time for having a life! The gap in between games, the need to work for a living, leaves no time at all for those somewhat important things. Things like shopping, fixing the bike, or cleaning the mess left after the last game! Having to rise at three thirty in the morning means I can finish in time to watch the games but I am asleep during some of them! The second half of the last game is usually a mystery to me!
However, I sit here on a Saturday, the sun shining, the sky blue, and I have no time to enjoy it.
After finishing work I have reasonable time to snatch a quick snooze, have a bath, make dinner and prepare for the first game of the day. Nothing else gets done!
There are papers on the desk asking to be dealt with, dust, thick enough to write your name in, on everything that surrounds me, many important topics to be discussed on this blog, yet all are ignored. All, just lying in a queue, all being ignored because of this feast of football. Feast that is, when the game is good! Some could be better.

Oops, must go. The next game comes up soon and I have lots of things to forget before then.........

Wednesday, 14 June 2006

World Cup Wednesday

Wednesday, and still going!
I have seen millions of hours of football and we are not yet through the first games!
It is difficult trying to fit life in between the games, two hour gaps are not enough!
That's three exclamation marks! Four! Fiv...
Anyway, I am enjoying the games, and hopefully when Englandshire get beat tomorrow I will be able to spend a day at work surrounded by Englishmen in despair.
Love it! Love it!

Hey ho, on we go.......Germany v Poland coming up.

Friday, 9 June 2006

Started Well

Yes a good start to the World Cup. Lots of goals, some good footy, and some strange parts also. But a good beginning. Germany 4 Costa Rica 2. Hope the standard keeps up!

World Cup

So the hype ends here. And just how much has there been? TOO much I say!
At last the game, eventually, gets under way. Once the never ending ceremonies come to an end.
So may the best team win! I hope this is a good world cup, there has been far too many poor games in the past, and that I enjoy the winners for a change.
Please Lord, don't let it be England!
Please Please!!!!!!

Saturday, 3 June 2006

Behaviour patterns

There is a school called 'Somerville' if I have it correct, where children are 'left to find their own way.' That is avoiding lessons if they wish and developing at their own level. That at least is the educational theory employed. Now alas, the head has decided that after 40 years the school must insert certain rules of behaviour. Something not known there previously. The reason is the parents failure to teach their kids the basic rules of life!
In short, up till now the school with no rules has always had rules. Rules inculcated by the middle class parents into their kids, so that while at this 'open learning experience' everyone knew how to behave. Alas this is no longer the case!
This indicates how far the nation has fallen. The middle class liberals have allowed the loose living pendulum to swing so far that liberal schools need rules of behaviour.

The truth is that self has won! The self indulgence of recent years is producing fruit. That fruit is self indulgence, a lack of concern for others, seeking only for ones own needs and pleasures at the expense of whoever gets in the way, and the sad thing is no one wants it to change! How could they, it would mean sacrifice! Self sacrifice at that, and no one wants that nowadays do they!

After the deprivation of the nineteenth century folks looked to a good future. This was rudely destroyed by the Great War, however improvements all round continued, in spite of the depression and another conflagration. This led to a desire throughout the nation to have a better life for all. When the money began to roll in folks found that having enough was not enough, instead the consumer society bred upon itself and led us into the self centred world in which we now live.

This does not mean there is no good to be found today. There are many who give all the time, and a great many who give much of the time, but overall we are increasingly becoming a shallow inward looking state. Concern for others has not quite died, but is taking more and more of a back seat.

And who is responsible for this state of affairs?
You and me, no-one else.

Friday, 26 May 2006

Rainy Day Off

I can see numbers of round ripples I the puddles caused by the rain which teems down this morning. This fills me with a sense of joy. Why? Because it's my day off! While I am sitting here, drinking coffee, snoozing, reading or whatever, Big Rab is wandering the streets cursing the weather and pushing bundles of paper mache through peoples doors. A postmans life is not a happy one during inclement weather! Still, I'm all right Jock! When the posties begin to appear I will go to the window and wave as they pass.
They always wave back.............

Sunday, 21 May 2006

Football less weekends

As I watch the game on Setanta on Sundays I miss football then more than on the Saturday. I am so tired after work that I usually doze my way through the Saturday games, enjoying it all the same. But on Sunday I can see Scots football, hidden behind the Old Firm bias, and not having that experience leaves me with lots of free time.
So what have I done with it?
There are things to do, but the adrenalin is down, the effort is too much, and ...well, er..... em...I just exist, not live these days.
I have dawdled on the messageboards, leaving an occasional comment, picking a world cup fantasy team, and clearing some junk from the p.c. I have made and eaten soup, had what passed for lunch, listened to Radio 3, Classic FM and Radio 7's listen again for old comedies. Not much else. And it is not even five o'clock yet!
I would wander the streets but the rain is falling quite hard. Mind you, this can leave a lovely aroma in the air at this time of year. Maybe I will wander anyway.
It is nice not to have to consider the football for a while. However, soon it will be missed and the world cup will take its place. Who do we support? Anyone playing England! That's who!

Wednesday, 17 May 2006

Women's Magazines

What is it with women and trauma?
The pages of their mags are full of terrible sagas of pain and despair, and trial and tribulation. Never anything sensible or worthwhile, just trauma! On the plane the girl next to me read one such magazine and each page gave more lurid headlines than the previous. 'Surgeon Healed my Melted Face,' or 'My Son Was Switched at Birth with His Schoolmate,' it gets worse, do you remember 'My Lover Was An Anorak?'
Interspersed between these tales of woe we find meaningless celebs telling us of their trauma in'relationships' or how many kids they want, though what they will do with them later is something to discuss. Children are not a toy!
Oh yes these mags have recipe's and what passes for fashion, and of course the nonsense of a horoscope, 'You will be lucky today, the time is right for a decision, be brave!' Bolox!
And these girls have the vote!

women's, mags, only a woman would read them!

Monday, 15 May 2006

Scottish Cup Win

As expected the Heart of Midlothian won the Scottish cup again, and as was also expected, they made hard work of it. The Hearts are notorious for beating all the big teams, and struggling against the small ones. This game was no different! Still, I am used to it, and was very glad for Stephen Pressley when he lifted the trophy on behalf of everyone. Great moment.

Of course it's good being home, but hard work. Being force fed soap operas is not my idea of life. Why are such things allowed? They live on false confrontation, encourage selfish behaviour, and are contrived rubbish! Ban them now!

Lovely to see folks, and enjoyed all of them. One day when rich, I will travel up there more often.
And this in spite of the cheerless folk I met on the way. Many good ones, but too many sour faces.

Monday, 8 May 2006


So I get sunburn last week, the Spring birds entertain me in the morning, and now, the rain drenches me during the day.
Spring rain. The sort that comes down in torrents when far from shelter.
My language was not nice.......

Sunday, 7 May 2006

Dawn Chorus

The dawn chorus is one of the joys of Spring! This past few days it has become a cacophony of noise as I trot off to work. The trees down The Avenue appear to have become home to a dozen or more Blackbirds let a lone the others. Each morning at four thirty the Babel of voices as I pass makes sure I am awake!
This morning I awake as always at three forty, soon enough the blackbirds song was heard. One bird appears very close, I think he is under the roof of the building, and he was loudly proclaiming his dominance of this area. By four thirty many others joined the clamour and I wondered whether they were announcing their presence or just chatting? By five thirty our boy was still at it, though by now the rest had moved on. Maybe they have mates who insist on them getting the breakfast in? Now, after seven thirty, there are still blackbird voices to be heard all around.
The musical voice which adds all sorts of everyday sounds to the melody. Car alarms, phone rings, any passing note is included by these clever birds.
They say that birds in warmer climes have more colourful outfits, while the birds in the UK have better songs. Listening to them this morning I can believe this.

Monday, 1 May 2006

Graveyards in the Rain

Spring rain can be an attractive entity. While I normally object to being soaked through I find this type of rain to be atmospheric. Early in the morning, with the light dimmed only by gray clouds, the birds singing as they chased one another through the treetops, and the occasional dog walker shuffling along beside his happy tail wagging pet, is a good time to wander on wet bank holiday days like these. Listen to the quietness, there is little traffic, streets almost deserted, noise from water rushing down into the drains, or rain pattering of rooftops. Plant life is refreshed at such times, vegetation gives of an atmospheric aroma, plants, blossom in trees, and early flowers combining to freshen the air. Walking through the graveyard behind the Congregational Church at such times rejuvenates the whole man, while contemplating the memorials concentrates the mind.
Churches which have been established for several hundred years are bound to contain the resting places of the great and the good from years past. This one is no different.
What one notices first of all is the ages of the dead. Many are children, many others young women who clearly have died in childbirth. Still others reveal how being rich, as those who could afford a gravestone had to be, could not prevent the diseases of the day carrying them away.
We never realise how healthy we have become since the establishment of the NHS. But are we grateful? Teens and twenties abound as much as those in their seventies and eighties. In fact, they probably outnumber them! The fear of graverobbers, the ghouls as they were called, is apparent in those many stone blocks which lie over the vaults, sometimes these contain several bodies, even complete families. Occasionally metal bars are used to surround the grave. Most however, reflecting their wealth, consist of a tombstone, three or four feet high, engraved with the details of the deceased. The poor have no gravestone, and in many graveyards are buried together at the rear, unmarked, possibly unmissed!
Being believers, as most in non conformist churchyards would be, many are embellished with biblical terms. 'With Christ, which is far better,' 'His works have gone before him,' and the like.

The rain, the blossoming trees, uncut grass and the bird life making the most of the wildlife found here, combine to create an atmosphere that reinvigorates the soul. Something those 'couch potatoes' among us miss out on. We spend too much time wrapped up in our work, our problems, our 'self,' and need to wander through such places in gentle rain, alone, and with our own thoughts to get a better perspective on life.

Saturday, 29 April 2006


Every so often I take to writing, but I never get far. Recently I had an idea for a short story. I began to scribble the main idea, some of the characters, and one or two relevant points. I got no further. Somewhere on a disk is the beginnings of my major work, 'The History of the First World War.' The war lasted from the fourth of August 1914 until 11th of November 1918. My book makes it to midday on the fourth of August 1914 and falls asleep! There are several more, history based, items I have found. Not one is going anywhere, a sad reflection of the author!
Others are more able to make use of their talents. The word 'talents' I use there of course depends whether you like what is written or not! There are those who write weighty volumes, with hundreds of pages, that I would not use to kindle a fire with.
Woman's fiction is a good example of wasted paper if ever there was one!
When I first came to this backwater I looked into the charity shops for cheap books. In London these shops were always full of a wide selection of books able to satisfy every taste. Out here the predominate taste was Joan Collins, or Barbara Cookson! Dozens of similar volumes filled the bookshelves awaiting another feeble minded, self centered lassie desperate to escape into an unreal fantasy world. Yet , something to consider, these folks can vote! Time for a rethink I say!
Is it possible to find a woman who can write properly? A female who understands the world and has experience of life? Do thinking women exist?
Well yes as it happens. I admit you have to look for them, sometimes it takes a bit of digging, but they can be found. I found one once, beautiful, intelligent, kind, thoughtful, full of charm, grace, and all things good. I was in love!
She ran off with a Frenchman!
But there are still others around. I know another, and she is an author in waiting.
Blackberry Juniper has attempted novels, short stories and the like. Possibly she has put her mind to non fiction also, she certainly has the ability! Maybe she ought to combine the two and write a historical novel, set in the Victorian era, and become world famous?
This would be the least she deserves after all her troubles.
One day one of her attempts, and maybe one of mine, will end in print.
The world waits.....