So the other day they announce that an official 'drought' has begun in much of Eastern England. (Droughts are unknown in Scotland you can rest assured!) The day this was made public it began to rain and has not ceased since. If it is not full time rain it is what they weather girls like to call 'showers.' I remember one such shower when I was a postman, it began at six in the morning and finished just after I got back to the sorting office - at half past twelve! Apart from the farmers beginning to count the cash that will soon drop into their wide laps the rest of us just carry on as normal, why? because this is normal for a British summer innit? One question arises, if there is a 'drought,' why do the council allow this fountain to operate? Is this one where the water is recycled? Possibly, although it is certainly clean water, especially after some wag put a lot of washing up liquid in the thing. The soap suds were there for days and the council had to clean the whole lot out! I bet he doesn't do the dishes at home.
Doing the dishes reminds me of an Alan Wicker story. he was doing one of his series from the USA and he came across a big house, a 'Dallas' style house, occupied by a married couple and the 'nanny.' They were not young, nor were they old, but they had got money! There arose a dispute, concerning dishes. The three of them argued about who's job it was to put the dishes into the dishwasher (they never thought about just washing up like normal folks) and the dispute grew some. In the end they visited a psychiatrist to find a solution for their problem. Why? Because they were American and at that date that is what the chattering classes were doing. The result of the visits, they used paper plates! Doesn't it make you weep?
We do not undergo such problems as we know that women have smaller feet than men, this allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
"Come to the edge," I said.
"No, we're afraid."
"Come to the edge."
"No... We're afraid. We'll fall."
"Come to the edge," I said again.
And they came.
And I pushed them.
And they flew.
— Christopher Logue
'Acquired' from the excellent Max
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