Now, as you know, I am not one to complain

In fact this has always been one of the most noticeable things about me, my easy going nature. In fact, when I consider this, I can tell you folk are always saying, "You're not one to complain, oh no, not you!" This is something that happens to me all the time. As I write I recall a place where we had a small printer that produced long thin strips on which we printed relevant identification for the produce. One day one young chap was so impressed with me he used this machine to print 'I'm not one to complain' and stuck this on my white coat. This goes to prove how long suffering I have always been.

However, today I was once more in 'Somerfields' and was able to remind myself of the incompetence that marks this store out from all the others. The store has several checkouts, all running in the usual long line. Naturally only two are open at busy times, and today only one was being used. I took my two items to the cigarette (cough, choke, ugh) kiosk in the usual way to avoid a queue. Of course there were two people ahead of me, both carrying baskets stuffed full of goods. They were also female!

The first was slowly putting her goods into the bag she brought with her. Such folks always bring their own reusable bag in a vain attempt to save the planet. This bag is then placed in the boot of their 4x4 gas guzzler and proceed to drive the half mile to their driveway polluting all and sundry in between. However, this rich hippy finally managed to pack up and proceeded to put her payment card back into her handbag. As we waited for her to move aside to let the next woman in I almost informed her that "HURRY ALONG. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY IN JULY!!!!!!' but managed not to. Female two placed her basket on the small counter along with her handbag (why oh why do women NEED two bags?) and the dork behind the desk began the slow process again. While this was happening a second lass arrived and opened the other till! This one is clever, clearly a girl going places. This I can tell as she appears to be alive, unlike so many of her associates. I placed the two (TWO) items on the little space woman two allowed me, under her hand bag lay the plastic bags I needed. A subtle hint (grabbing the bag and shoving it in her direction) enabled her to make room with a whimpering "Sorry." But I still could not get the plastic bag. When I did the thing ripped as I opened it. I threw it in the direction of the checkout girl muttering something Jesus would never have imagined. By this time the clever lass was holding out my change and expecting me to take it. I ignored her. As I grabbed a bag she did too saying "Take the change and I'll pack it." So I let her.

Now imagine the scene. A small counter, two tills and the bags left on the counter for customers to use. But surely numskulls, if you just put the goods into the bags yourselves then you would have more room on the counter? The customer would leave quicker. We could get home before dark and folks would be happier! Why is it that something so obvious is beyond this company? The larger checkout are smaller than Tescos or Sainsburys and the situation with the bags there is totally inadequate. How come a company with so many employees cannot run itself on common sense grounds?

All that is needed is better use of space, employees with half a brain (an improvement on what is there now) and a common sense approach to moving the people along. This is the lower orders store around here. You know, neds, chavs and those who left school at fourteen like I did inhabit this place. (Hold on, something not right there!) Two of the girls are quite bright and the rest were clearly dropped on their heads at birth. Why do companies allow themselves to be run in such a consistently poor manner?

To make matters worse they would not give me a part time job when I asked!