Monday 25 March 2013

False Politeness



Listening to the cretinous outpourings of the early morning 'TalkSPORT' offering I was once again irked by the false politeness each caller offered.  Whether they caller was a football or sporting personality, a tabloid hack, (I cannot use journalist here) or white van driver himself calling the call started in the same manner.  Each and every person, all male, began "Morning lads, how are you?  This annoyed me, and ought to annoy 'the lads' also!  Why ask this question?  have they not been listening to the hundred taxi drivers who have already called in and asked that question?  Have they gone deaf?  Are they stuck for words?  Don't ask dumb questions from false politeness, when they call you to speak JUST SPEAK!  Murmur, "Morning," and make your point, answer the question, lie in your teeth as appropriate but don't ask how they are WE ALL KNOW!

False politeness has been encouraged by those PR people who train folks in dealing with the media.  Almost every person who is heard on news programmes begins by saying "Morning," even if they are about to answer the question first, they stop, mutter "Morning," and answer.  This is how they have been trained and it is false.  It can be worse with Americans, the home of false politeness.  When interviewing someone from the States they almost always give the "Good morning, I want to thank you for having me on your programe today, it's an honour to be here," pap!  Being Yanks they will have bever heard of the programmes that has honoured them, just as we have never heard of them.  

The New International Version of the bible is similarly affected y this.  Americans call everyone sir, even if they are holding a gun at their heads, and almost every one who speaks to Jesus in the New Testament calls him 'Sir.'  The word did not exist in Hebrew, Aramaic or Greek, it does not fit the portion on offer, it is an Americanism that ought to be dumped. ('please' similarly exists there, but not in the originals!)

There is nothing wrong with being polite.  It is sadly a dying art in many places.  However a quick "Thank you," "Ta," or "Cheers," is enough for most folks.  If everyone you met asked prolonged questions most folks would never get their business done.   Politeness can get things done by making people feel you regard them as important rather than a disturbance to your day.  The awful word 'please,' can help ease some, especially women, in doing their job.  I have come across such women who insist on me saying please and feel upset when I retort "I will when you actually do your job!!!"  For such politeness is important, actually working in between does not matter.  To waste politeness there appears folly to me.  

However I am a believer in 'Thanks.'  When I remember that is.  I am always grateful for decent service, and happy to commend folks for it.  So 'thank you' for listening.  Just don't ask 'how are you' when phoning Talksport!'

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6 comments:

Helen Devries said...

Please and thank you come automatically....but I had begun to notice in France that asking politely gave the person doing the job the impression that you were weak...

Unknown said...

After Jim Bohannon took over full time for Larry King on the radio show years ago, he started hanging up on callers as soon as he heard them ask how he was doing. He would offer an explanation to the general audience from time to time about how it was a waste of air-time to have to answer the same lame question every time someone called in. It was quite irksome to me, but you would have loved it, it would seem.

Alas, this may not end well, but I feel compelled to proceed. Anyway, aside from simply trying to be polite, greeting someone with a good morning or just mornin' should also be about being friendly--perhaps even more so. Now, I understand that different cultures do things differently, and the general British climate is rather cold.

In all fairness, I have struggled with continuing my usual "my dear..." greeting from time to time out of fear of it being taken as fake at best and condescending at worst, but it is meant as a genuine sign of affection--be assured. For I really am thrilled when I receive a comment, and it has always been in me to consider everyone a dear friend until they prove otherwise.

There is also that other thing about our Heavenly Father loving everyone else at least as much as He loves me, which I find rather irksome at times. Woe is me.

soubriquet said...

I am polite. Please and thank-you were instilled in me from an early age.
Even when it is somebody's job to do something for me, and they're getting paid to do it, I'll use those words.
And I'll be mightily annoyed if they don't return the civility.

I say thank you to bus-drivers, train conductors, street-sweepers, pretty much everybody. And I like people to be equally polite to me.

There are some modern usages which I dislike intensely. I suspect they're imported from some other country's television soaps. "Can I get?" for "May I have", and the response to "How are you" "I'm good."
I'm good?
What?
I'm not asking after your moral compass, dammit.

soubriquet said...

As for 'Sir', I was always taught to address teachers and adult males as 'Sir', if I did not know their names.

I quite like it when I'm so addressed, it makes me feel like a person of somewhat greater consequence than I really am.

And, in the U.S. context, I don't see it as phony, it's just a product of a differing development of language and manners.

Adullamite said...

Helen, That's interesting. I will be rude if I go to France....if....

Jerry, Jim Bohannon sounds OK to me! British are not so cold, the English south east is however. How people take your friendliness depends on them,not you.

Soub, It's the thing around here to thank bus drivers, although when in London that never happened! Being called 'Sir,' in a shop spelled 'CUR' in Edinburgh, does make the shopkeeper appear to care.


When are you off? Is this just a visit?????

Lee said...

I enjoy being polite...and I enjoy people being polite to me. I dislike, intensely, impolite people. And, unfortunately, there are far too many of the latter around these days.

Thank you for your time.