Mindless and Distracted!

For over a week now I have been mindless and distracted. I have no concentration, little energy and no desire for anything but mindless loafing. No a cynic might not notice the difference from my situation when a postman, but they are avoiding the very real issue here of 'The Bug!'

Yes indeed 'The Bug' has returned and I am sick of it, and indeed with it, once again. Last Monday, the holiday you lot all enjoyed, saw me cycle around twelve miles, and not one of you cared! I was rejoicing at my near fitness and yet, within 24 hours I noticed the bug returning. The swift annoyance, lack of concentration and sharp tongue when provoked, especially by people saying nasty things like, "Hello." My insides were grumbling and food was not tempting, although this may have something to do with what I can do with a potato! And only now, after several early nights and daily cat napping, can I begin to see some health once again. This bug, er bugs me! It keeps returning and making life miserable. Doctors say, "Exercise and eat well, lose weight and it will vanish." Or, "It's a bug, sod off I'm busy." They are of course right!

I have met others who suffer these strange 'cold like' symptoms, some minor others quite severe, but nobody has a clue what to do, nothing helps. This continues for years and may be a sign of age, cold/flu virus adapting and changing and the body having some resistance but not enough. It could of course be that I am just a wimp who should, if I was speaking to myself in an encouraging manner, be told, "Just get on with it and stop whining!" The serious question regards how to keep a job if this goes on? Of course I have to find one first!

Answers in Genesis

Now there is a thing, Jobs hunting in a recession! I have attempted this before in the eighties after breaking my leg and being turned into a brain dead zombie working with brain dead zombies in Selfridges (better known as Selfishes!) so called accounts department. No woman with an IQ over four works in such a place, actually one did, a sweet little Indian lass who was far to good for them! I almost fell in love, and would have had her her husband not had a way with a hatchet that the Vikings would have been envious off. In those days Thatcher was closing down all training course for folk over 35, and I was 36! Now Labour are encouraging many attempts, some good some bad, at helping folk back to work. When they work they are great, but there are no jobs to apply for, and when they fail it is because the course offered are badly prepared, staff untrained and inappropriate for the district. Most suit folks who are under 50, and I am, er...over 21 now. On top of this there are no jobs out there! At one time the job shop was signing on 400 a week,and that is here in a backwater! So many were small companies who supplied goods to larger ones that have failed and left them high and dry. Sad for many men who are often skilled, but in the wrong thing.

Dumb people, like me, skilled in moving things, packing and other manual labour, and this is a skill in many instances, are too old or dumb for what is out there, office jobs mostly. When something suitable arises 300 men apply! The hospital porters job I went for, and should not have as I am supposed to be off my feet, not my head, gave the girls interviewing two, and I think, three days of work for one position. That of course discounts the applications ignored! What to do? The training was not there for me, so I began driving lessons, and I notice all those fences and lamp posts have been replaced now. This was a good idea in my little mind. Cars are really a necessity out here with such poor public transport, thanks Maggie! Many jobs are in outlying areas, on farms and the like, and impossible to reach otherwise. Naturally by the time I passed the test, and I did, the recession had brought out all those other drivers, and with a lot of experience, and the riving job I dreamt off, running around the country in a little van dropping of packets to pretty young farmers daughters, has so far come to nought. I have forgotten how to drive now.

Being limited by gormlessness and sloth a lack of suitable easy appropriate work I am left sending out CVs to any one who will recycle them, often tot he most inappropriate people who must be scratching their heads at the CVs landing on their desk. However you have to show willing and make an effort. It is a bit upsetting when the folk at the dole office ask if you will be at the Christmas party mind, one even gave me a form to discover how much of a pension I would receive! Not yet dearie! Still, this time has it's advantages. I can be sick if I want and lie abed all day. I can sit in the sunshine, when it arrives, and read books and do interesting things on the PC (no dear not that!). Had I money I could do a lot more and see interesting places and people, however I am limited to Tesco's for that at the time of writing. There is a growing list of what I could have been doing had I thought I would still be here, and been as rich as I once was. But it must be said I am also quite happy sometimes not working. In the eighties I was frantic to work. When I came here I despaired at not working at first, but today I am just tired of it. The 'office politics' of any job, the 'rat race' element, miserable people, bullies, meaningless jobs that mean a slog to finish them, and for a minimum wage. All these I can do without. It would be nice to do something worthwhile and even enjoyable, or work amongst decent folk, and the people at Royal Mail were for the most part decent enough to work with. Such work is found only in dreams, and when no-one replies to the begging letters I find an attraction in lying on the floor staring at the ceiling once again. Ah well, maybe I will risk £1:50 on the lottery of Friday. £37 million this time. Just enough to clear my Visa card. Oh must go, I have to hide, that bailiff is wandering around outside attempting to look in the window.....