Saturday, 8 August 2009

Saturday Evening

Saturday is alive once again! Jeff Stelling, the awful banter between him and his knowledgeable group of ex-pro's. Football results, reports, shocks and surprises. Weeping and a wailing one moment and rejoicing and breathing huge sighs of relief on the other! Football (almost) is back again! I say 'almost' as the actual season does not start for the Heart of Midlothian (bow your heads in respect out there!) until next weekend when the big boys come out to play, however when Jeff appears Saturdays take a turn for the better! This was topped by a great surprise this evening as I was pondering how to bring tedium to the world, the BBC showed WBA against Newcastle! Brilliant! I did not know they were covering the 'Championship' and I was plenty surprised when I came across this. Woohoo! Something to ease a Saturday night here in the Cave of Adullam! It certainly brightened it, what numpty made Newcastle United wear yellow shorts and white and yellow wide stripes on their shirts? I suspect it was chosen by that idiot American owner. The sooner he goes the better!

Of course in recent years this Saturday afternoon has become a time for doing several things at once. Listening to Radio Scotland for the Glasgow based anti hearts report, watching the results come in on Sky Sports with Jeff, and most important,making next weeks meals! Today was no different. Today was a day for throwing a lot of black lentils, a few red one, a handful of green ones, an onion, three potatoes, cayenne pepper, two imitation 'Oxo' cubes, a pinch of coriander and masses of brown sauce into the pot and let it incinerate. Several large doses of E-Coli there for next week I reckon. Of course I did not cook any 'meat' this time, not having obtained so many tins of oily fish. As such fish, so we are told, are good for the brain I expect my IQ to rise considerably in the next few days.
What's that you said?

Ah yes, my improved diet is indeed making itself felt, I have been starving most days! However once again I dragged the aching knees up the old railway around 9 a.m.this morning and went that little bit further than usual. I feel the benefit all over me today. It is there alongside the dead flies, insect bites and scratches that come from nowhere. Mind you at that time on a Saturday out come the joggers. These are folk who I suspect commute to London or whatever and I expect that jogging is something they feel is part of their 'lifestyle.' The women tend to go in for Lycra and carry bottles of water, probably the type with a 'teat' as that is what the models in the magazines do! The men are in paid for T-shirts and shorts. The men who wear Lycra and pose for the world are those who go in for cycling in a big way. They watch the 'Tour de France,' always referred to as 'the tour,' and dress they way they are supposed to, cycle shorts, colourful tight fitting cycle shirt (in team colours), gloves, helmet, and wrap around sunglasses. They have a tendency to despise those of us who just 'enjoy' cycling as opposed to them who travel a hundred miles a day in record time. Both the joggers and the cyclists reveal our desperate desire to be part of the crowd when we show our individuality. Both feel superiour to those outwith 'their crowd.' Both are sad. What is sadder is that we have all been there, and in many ways still are.

We all want to be 'loved' and especially when in our teens and twenties we need to fit in with a group which suits our tastes. Obviously this is understandable, however it also becomes a shield in which we can hide away from the world. Even those of us over thirty five (you know who you are - no girls, not you! Your never over twenty three are you?) who show less respect for fashion (cough) follow the conventions when necessary, and rightly so. After all if you go out of your way to be different you are still shouting out about yourself and not content within. You also become a bore, which is where we were supposed to come in!

Well my health fad is about to be broken for tonight. I accidentally picked up four 'reduced price' sugar covered jam donuts in Sainsburys when I went up for bread. Tsk! They have to be eaten as the date is running out......


Mike Smith said...

Sadly, it's not even next weekend when Hearts kick off their SPL season. It's on the Monday night at Tannadice for live television - just three days before Hearts head to Zagreb...

P said...

Jeff Stelling - The King. He is always good value on those Saturday afternoons, and I am always amazed by what complete crap he remembers ! NUFC (My team) in white and yellow stripes....never ! It would also be nice if we even had an owner !!

FishHawk said...

What's "Oxo?" said...

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Adullamite said...

Mike, TV is ruining Tuesdays for Hearts fans! This will happen often as we will be the important side once again!

P, I love the way he ridicules those around him!

Fishy Oxo is not made from Oxen.

Hello Facts.