Friday, 25 September 2015

Payout


Having been kept inside for much of the week by the Lurgi I only ventured as far as the supermarkets, which is indeed not far at all.  However twice today I wandered further, wondering why my knees ached, and even went to the 'hole in the wall' to grasp money.
I entered the details and the machine went through the process until I pushed the £100 button.
"Are you sure?"  It asked.
"Yes" said I.
"What, you with drawing cash?"
It was clear this machine has a feminine attitude, at least I base this judgement ion the women of my acquaintance.
"Yes," said I getting narked, "I wish to withdraw cash."
"Can you afford it, " she said, "I mean you don't have much and it is better off with me."
I told you it was female!
"No, just GIVE ME THE CASH!" I was beginning to fret.
Just then I realised the man at the other cash point was muttering things also.  "It's my money so give it!" he said with a certain amount of 'energy' in his voice.  "Yes I need it," he growled...
"It is possible you are  Romanian refugee who has found your dropped card" said the screen, "What is your mothers name? This is a security question." she added needlessly.
"MUM." I snarled.
"Thank you," said the screen sweetly lying in its teeth. "Please re-enter your number for security reasons."
I did as requested and waited.
And waited.
And waited.
The man next door was now head banging the machine and muttering "JUST GIVE THE MONEY!"
I pressed the 'enter' button and the screen came to life again.
"Are you sure you want this money?" she asked.
"I have a screwdriver here," I typed in, "And if you do not payout I will undo you."
The money came down almost immediately.
The man next door immediately entered the same and received his cash also.
The banks will do anything to keep the cash for their bonus's.


8 comments:

Lee said...

You'd get the fright of your life if that did happen to you the next time you pay a visit to the hole-in-the-wall!

Bloody women! We just don't know when to control ourselves, do we?

carol said...

Too funny, but I just don't believe a word of it ... LOL

Adullamite said...

Lee, I always get a fright when at the 'hole in the wall!'

Carl, You the word of a gentleman...?

the fly in the web said...

My husband takes me with him to the local hole in the wall machine in order to grab the notes before the machine snatches them back...

Adullamite said...

Fly, I suspect he goes with you to see you don't spend it!!!

Jerry E Beuterbaugh said...

All one needs is a screwdriver? BRILLIANT!

Adullamite said...

Jerry, They are useful when discussing things with a woman...

Adullamite said...

Jerry, They are useful when discussing things with a woman...