Saturday, 14 April 2012

Another Sign of Spring



Just as mist heralds the dawn, daffodils and bluebells brighten the world, umbrellas in many hands, and men in shorts appear so cricket reappears in our midst heralding Spring!  The first chance to dress in whites bring the English male out in huge numbers, age and lumbago not wearying such men.  The sun is shining, the windchill bad, yet there they are, sweating off the pounds gained watching cricket from overseas on the couch throughout the winter.  What do they see in this slow, ponderous, yet still more intellectually satisfying than baseball, game?  One overweight man throws a ball towards another, armed only with a flat stick. He swipes at the ball hoping to hit the thing far away, if he misses the balls flight may take it onto other sticks embedded behind him, if they hit he loses his place.  When the ball goes any distance those surrounding shout and run to collect and return it, while the batsmen run back and forward the 22 yards between sticks.  With no less than six or seven hours a huge score of 200 or more 'runs' can be gathered this way.  How enthralling.  Everybody claps at such a score. From eleven in the morning until six or even later in the evening the chaps stand around, clapping occasionally, taking turns to swipe at thin air, and then replace the poundage lost by sitting  in the nearest pub until 'last orders' is shouted.  Using the ground this way is better than building yet more desperately needed homes I suppose, especially as no-one can afford them these days but just what is the attraction that grabs Englishmen so?  In Scotland working men rarely play or even consider cricket, in England this disease affects all classes.  Vast volumes are scribbled on the rules, personnel, history, events, places connected with the game.  If rain hinders play two men, any two, will find an eager audience willing to listen while they drone on endlessly about any of said subjects.  Have these men no lives?  They certainly could not have wives!  Think also of this, today is semi-final day in the English cup and these men ignore it to play cricket instead of watching the football, are they victims of  'mad cow disease' perhaps?





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3 comments:

A. said...

But the sun's shining. You can't watch football on the telly when the sun's shining.

Adullamite said...

You can with practice!

alan1704 said...

In the words of the Great Poet Edward Dyson:-

In politics there’s room for jest;
With frequent gibes are speeches met,
And measures which are of the best
Are themes for caustic humor yet.
E’en though the pulpiteer we fret
With sundry quiddities we fling,
We pray you never to forget
That cricket is a serious thing.