How to be an Idiot No. 87

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Yesterday the lovely Jenny Woolf informed m that today would be better.  She was wrong! Quite how such an intelligent well traveled woman could think things would improve escapes me for the moment, but wrong she was.  Last night I went very early to bed, just in case I set fire to something, and rose as expected totally knackered yet unable to sleep on at 6:30.  By 7:30 I had wandered around Sainsburys, early to escape the hordes of Friday women shoppers barging their trolleys into one and all, and gathered my few requirements.  All was going swimmingly!  The shop was empty, I avoided the staff filling shelves and even evaded the trolleys they pushed hither and thither.


It was when I emptied the basket (I always use a basket as it is quicker and easier to evade women with trolleys) on to the belt where the almost friendly half asleep Phillipino awaited my goods. It was then I allowed the basket to over balance and dropped the brown sauce onto the floor. "Dearie dearie me," or something, said the supervisor at who's feet the bottle landed.  She was not referring to the brown sludge at her feet, she was referring to me lying on the floor crying "Not again! Not today also!" for several minutes.  They helped me out quite quickly after this.


By 10:30 I had locked myself indoors, dropped the milk out of the fridge, barged into the furniture while hoovering,lost dozens of cassette tapes down the back of the unit in unreachable places but as yet have not set fire to anything. I updated the answers to the comments, as I had forgotten them for several days while looking for my head.  Now I am back off to bed, wake me when it is safe to come out again!

"If at first you don't succeed, give up and go to bed!" 

Robert the Bruce.

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