Monday 25 April 2011

Royal Wedding Build Up Post No 5

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   The next Air Chief Marshall

                                                                             
As the excitement mounts I can hardly contain myself, just a few days to go before another days off arrives! To fill in the time both BBC and the ITV networks will be showing hours and hours of a royal wedding. Now just in case you missed this a royal wedding is a time of great joy for the United Kingdom. Throughout the land rejoicing takes place, street parties occur, business men moan at the loss of workers, souvenir sellers con masses of daft women and a few dafter men, and a wedding takes place in one of the big Anglican churches between two folks who don't believe in God and conducted by a man who has forgotten who God is. All in all a wonderful way for any government to make us forget about the thousands joining me on the dole, the house repossessions, the selling off, of the NHS, a new Vietnam in Libya and a recession that will once again kick us in the teeth after we have spent millions on security for this wedding. The happy couple? A couple of Hooray Henry's who have been born into money, will continue in money and spend the rest of their lives being harassed by the grubby media looking for dirt! In site of the money I pity them. The nation is of course divided here. While most are content to see this couple get on with their lives a republican streak is growing within the UK. The royal family became very popular during the war because of the behaviour of the King and his family. In recent years that generation has died off and the present one has seen Diana and her kind reduce the royals to material for 'Hello' Magazine. The respect has gone and instead of nice folks doing a job they are all to often satirised.  Now I reckon some of them do a good job, if you like that sort of thing, but the media wish Kate to become another Diana. I wonder if she is a publicity seeker? If not she may find them looking for reasons to hate her instead of false praise floating her way. TV has several dramas, films, and other programmes telling the delightful story of this couple, their families, their study, how they met, who knows them, and all based on what 'friends' have said. The World Cup had less coverage and that was important!  If you have failed to record these programmes you can always buy yourself or your loved ones or someone you wish to avoid a souvenir. Here are some examples a quick Google has found.


A classy Royal Wedding Tankard from John Lewis. This elegant cup tankard is a snip and £35 (plus p&p)



Possibly you would prefer a more realistic memento?  Mulberry Hall have the very thing. A strikingly lifelike limited edition Candle Snuffer, A bargain at £205 all in. Who could resist buying William to go with this and keeping a right pair on the mantelpiece to snuff the candles out before you go to bed? You will of course require candles after paying this much for these two! 


Relax in comfort through the over long hours of TV coverage with a John Lewis cushion. Just the thing to throw at passing males who wonder why you have lost your senses. A mere £68 plus p&p. 




Cynical anti royalists will not only be barred from ever entering Ibrox Park in future but may find £12 for a reverential thanksgiving plate worth a trip to John Lewis

However not being a cheapskate like some and very keen to possess an item that will not just bring the remembrance of royal nuptials to mind but is an investment also I personally will invest in this offering from the Royal Mint.



Not only the joy of watching them stare at one another in that locked box I keep under the floorboards but an item that will rise in value as they continue to fill the papers for years to come. Honeymoon period, children arriving, possible divorce, another child, King, rumours of split, depression, second honeymoon, attack by Fulham Chairman, death. All these will enhance my purchase and make an investment of £1550 plus p&p a real bargain. 

Oh yes, there was one other thing on offer but I cannot find a link. However I am positive one of you out there will know. Something for the (long) weekend I think.



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4 comments:

Mike Smith said...

So...how was your Easter?

Relax Max said...

Just when I think your blog could never get more exciting, here you go.

The time is simply dragging by.

Anonymous said...

You omitted the ubiquitous sapphire ring???? Why just yesterday I saw them in an arts and crafts store for a mere $2. I was tempted but the purchase needs to be made in the UK to make it feel real. Can you send one, huh, huh, please?

Adullamite said...

Help is on the way Leaz!

The pace increases......