The Gardens

I wandered around the gardens the other day, an excellent way to commune with nature, except when mothers bring their brats their for exercise of course, and passed the fishpond. Not that long ago the gardener mentioned the committee had plans to clean up the pond and install new fish even although he himself felt this was a waste of cash. I found the pond clean, with most of the Lillie's, plastic bottles, and probably a supermarket trolley or two, removed, and four large and many smaller fish wandering around. Today, on my morning constitutional, I passed by, before the Mums were up, and found the pond empty of fish. Have they died already? Of course it is possible that a heron or some such has passed by and swallowed the lot! But it seems rather strange. I am perplexed.

Now, as you know, I am not one to complain

In fact this has always been one of the most noticeable things about me, my easy going nature. In fact, when I consider this, I can tell you folk are always saying, "You're not one to complain, oh no, not you!" This is something that happens to me all the time. As I write I recall a place where we had a small printer that produced long thin strips on which we printed relevant identification for the produce. One day one young chap was so impressed with me he used this machine to print 'I'm not one to complain' and stuck this on my white coat. This goes to prove how long suffering I have always been.

However, today I was once more in 'Somerfields' and was able to remind myself of the incompetence that marks this store out from all the others. The store has several checkouts, all running in the usual long line. Naturally only two are open at busy times, and today only one was being used. I took my two items to the cigarette (cough, choke, ugh) kiosk in the usual way to avoid a queue. Of course there were two people ahead of me, both carrying baskets stuffed full of goods. They were also female!

The first was slowly putting her goods into the bag she brought with her. Such folks always bring their own reusable bag in a vain attempt to save the planet. This bag is then placed in the boot of their 4x4 gas guzzler and proceed to drive the half mile to their driveway polluting all and sundry in between. However, this rich hippy finally managed to pack up and proceeded to put her payment card back into her handbag. As we waited for her to move aside to let the next woman in I almost informed her that "HURRY ALONG. IT'S MY BIRTHDAY IN JULY!!!!!!' but managed not to. Female two placed her basket on the small counter along with her handbag (why oh why do women NEED two bags?) and the dork behind the desk began the slow process again. While this was happening a second lass arrived and opened the other till! This one is clever, clearly a girl going places. This I can tell as she appears to be alive, unlike so many of her associates. I placed the two (TWO) items on the little space woman two allowed me, under her hand bag lay the plastic bags I needed. A subtle hint (grabbing the bag and shoving it in her direction) enabled her to make room with a whimpering "Sorry." But I still could not get the plastic bag. When I did the thing ripped as I opened it. I threw it in the direction of the checkout girl muttering something Jesus would never have imagined. By this time the clever lass was holding out my change and expecting me to take it. I ignored her. As I grabbed a bag she did too saying "Take the change and I'll pack it." So I let her.

Now imagine the scene. A small counter, two tills and the bags left on the counter for customers to use. But surely numskulls, if you just put the goods into the bags yourselves then you would have more room on the counter? The customer would leave quicker. We could get home before dark and folks would be happier! Why is it that something so obvious is beyond this company? The larger checkout are smaller than Tescos or Sainsburys and the situation with the bags there is totally inadequate. How come a company with so many employees cannot run itself on common sense grounds?

All that is needed is better use of space, employees with half a brain (an improvement on what is there now) and a common sense approach to moving the people along. This is the lower orders store around here. You know, neds, chavs and those who left school at fourteen like I did inhabit this place. (Hold on, something not right there!) Two of the girls are quite bright and the rest were clearly dropped on their heads at birth. Why do companies allow themselves to be run in such a consistently poor manner?

To make matters worse they would not give me a part time job when I asked!

Spelling Nazis

Can I just point out that while we all can make use of the spellchecker found on Blogger, and indeed on most browsers, the correct spelling of some words remains in dispute. This applies also to names and none more so than from names from antiquity. By antiquity I do not mean your granny and her doing in the junk shop, I mean the ancient 'classical' world of long ago.

(At this point I must point out for our younger readers that the term 'Classical' has nothing to do with the music you so detest and which intellectuals like I and the entire Radio 3 audience happen to appreciate - barring those screeching women singers of course.)

We must take into account that ancient words had a habit of being written in Greek or Latin or Aramaic or Akkadian. Thus when translated the correct spelling is less to do with the actualpronunciation of the word in its setting but relates to the one doing the translating. The wide variety of accents available today indicate a similar situation existing in the ancient world. So for instance 'You say potato and I say potato, you say tomato and I say tomato,' does not reveal that the one gives the word correctly and the other does not. And we all know who is right! I happen to know that the ancient people of Cyprus spoke in a Scots like accent, they were hardy, highly intelligent, and I must add humbly, nice, which proves this to be the case. Therefore I must point out to the spelling Nazis who are among us that the name 'Barnabus' is correctly spelt, and the use of 'Barnabas,' is mere middle class Tory, 'Daily Mail' reading snobbery.

I rest my case.


p.s., I have discovered I spelt spellchecker wrong!

Car

Fancy a car? This one has been parked here for at least twelve years that I know off, it is possible it has been there for considerably longer than that. The large house appears somewhat run down, and gives the impression of a once rich occupant living out their old age. The room on the first floor has a single bare light bulb hanging forlornly. It is always on, night and day. The garden is somewhat unkempt, the conservatory to the side in need of tender loving care. Nobody ever appears to move in or out.

That someone lives there still is sure, I remember delivering post there some time ago, and up close the somewhat melancholic air is clear. Now I am not the nosey type, hiding behind the plant in their window watching neighbours come and go - usually. However I want to know the story of people who allow such a building to decay slowly. If this is an old person, where are the relatives? If there is a death there will be a desperate bid to sell this place, for a minimum of £350-400,000 even in this condition. The credit crunch will not stop some paying more for the house in good condition. Considering the car was old twenty years ago, and the care not being taken on the house I just feel sad for the people involved. They may well be content and happy, but the baleful outlook reflects on the person, or persons, inside.

What Time is it?

I ask because it says on my clock, well one of them, that it is eight o'clock.The rest give various readings as the batteries are dying or I set them wrong. Yet on BBC 2 the 8 pm programme has not started as the previous one is just finishing. On Channel 5 however their 8 pm programme is under way! I notice that more and more on the TV and the wireless, time is moveable. How come?

In days of yore we always had the time spread throughout the nation accurately. This was done by broadcasting the chimes from Big Ben in London, and this gave an accurate gauge of the time. Those of us brought up with the resounding chimes of the big bell high up in the clock tower cannot forget the sound. Some of us have got our hearing back again! Until the seventies this country was limited to the BBC output on radio. Since then a wide variety of stations have appeared, often broadcasting hours of music, banal, raucous or just not what I desire. Some are worth listening to, but only some. I should point out the bell that chimes is called Big Ben, not the tower in which it is housed. It is thought to have been named after a fat (what the politically correct call 'obese') member of parliament called Sir Benjamin Hall the first commissioner of works. However while he was known as 'Big Ben' in the house there was a famous boxer of the day who fought his last fight at the time the debate on naming the bell was under way. Boxing was a massively popular, and violent, sport at that time. Radio 4 still uses the chimes,certainly at six o' clock and midnight, but no other station bothers. This means one mans midday is another's one minute past, and why is it I ask, that 5Live never give the news on the half hour? They appear to insist on leaving it till several minutes past. Crazy nonsense.

The reason I am annoyed is that we need an accurate time signal, and the one on the telephone, (Dial 123) and a voice says "At the third stroke the time sponsored by 'Accurist' will be...." but the media folk do not comply with Post office time, sorry it is 'Telecom' now, privatisation! This is important if I record a programme on the radio, yes I use cassette tape I live on the cheap and use technology I can work, and all to often I find a programme begins too soon and I find several minutes of turgid blether and worse it sometimes cuts of before the programme ends. In most things such accuracy is irrelevant for most of us but I would like to know that the hour on one TV channel is the same as on another. BBC 1 and BBC 2 appear to live in different time zones yet they arise in the same building! I can understand the BBC World service being an hour behind, they remain on GMT throughout the year, but how come the over paid members of the Beeb, paid for by my licence fee, cannot line up two channels at the same time!

I would say more but I am running out of time......

Now I am not one to complain, however,

I awoke this morning to the sound of cars splashing through the rain. Above us gray clouds hung overhead emptying the English Channel where it is not needed, just ask the farmers! The day has struggled through to this point with little to cheer, tidying this dump as the electrician is coming to test the electrics, phoning re job hunting, and considering murdering Moo-Dog! Now as you know I am normally a cheery, happy go lucky type, never one to complain and always happy to oblige. But really! He has dumped one of these 'meme's' things on me, and I have always only ever been kind to him! Of course, he is from Cavan so that tells you something!

This is it:-

What are your nicknames?
I have none. Although 'Miserable Scots git' was often heard in the sorting office when a postman, for reasons I do not comprehend.
What TV gameshow/reality show would you like to be on?
Me on a reality show? How dare you! I've never been so insulted!
What was the first movie you bought in VHS or DVD?
I don't buy them, all movies bore me. Rarely do I watch them unless they are totally realistic or something like the Marx Bros. (actually I did once buy a 'laurel & Hardy' video which ended up with the kids up north I think.)
What is your favourite scent?
When she was around she wore either 'Opium' or 'Poison.' Most suitable in all ways.
If you had one million dollars to spend only on yourself, what would you spend it on?
A wee house, a 'Honda 50' to get me around until the driving test is passed, the new car and a new pair of socks.
One place you've visited, can't forget and want to go back to?
Nowhere. I forget where I was this morning let alone elsewhere.
Do you trust easily?
Who is asking like?
Do you generally think before you act, or act before you think?
Think?
Is there anything that has made you unhappy these days?
For a change I am quite happy this week.
Do you have a good body image?
Do you think I am a woman? I'm a slob.
What is your favorite fruit?
Anything that is free!
What websites do you visit daily?
Ah a sensible question at last! Actually I often visit some more than once while awaiting their outpouring, or just by being bored. Others may not be daily but are visited often. These are some of the top blogs on the net.

Auld Reekie Rants
Sicarii
Scottish Diary
Moo-Dog
Mulled Vine
Out of Battle
Crotchety old man yells at cars

Some funny, some serious, some both and all worth a look. Good stuff I say!

What have you been seriously addicted to lately?
The Block Game! Must go and play again, 'scuse please.
What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
I think he is a lovely kind person. One who feels able to call on me whenever he has a meme to dump on folk who have better things to do with their time but are not likely to complain about it! if you see what I mean....... Oh, and he is from Cavan!
What's the last song that got stuck in your head?
'It must be you' Van Morrison. Lovely (the song, not him)
Favourite clothing
Clothing? It's just stuff you wear! This fleece jacket I use as a cardigan I suppose. It has not been off me for two years. But it does get soggy in the bath.
Do you think Rice Krispies are yummy?
No.
What would you do if you saw $100 lying on the ground?
I would ask why a Yankee is wandering about here with dollar notes?
Then nick them!
Items you couldn't go without during the day?
The PC. Videos of worthwhile programmes, football results, the wireless, my dinner.
What should you be doing right now?
Job hunting.

Heart of Midlothian Memorial and the Trams

Edinburgh Council have decided to install trams once again in another of their acts of 'progress.' Now I don't know whether this will actually benefit Edinburgh or not, although a drunk on a tram late at night is very similar to a drunk on a bus in my view. It may speed the traffic, it may be a success, who can tell? One thing is sure it will not be paid for overnight! The construction of the tramway has meant a great many things, including statues and memorials, have to be moved to allow the trams to pass. One memorial that must move is the memorial to the players of the Heart of Midlothian who enlisted in 1914. As you know they formed the basis of the 16th Royal Scots, known as 'McCrae's Battalion,' along with many other Edinburgh volunteers, and players from Raith Rovers, Falkirk and Hibernian. Together they produced the most powerful battalion football team in the forces.

More than thirty Hearts men enlisted, and hundreds more joined from all Scots football teams. All endured much suffering, physical, and emotional, many failed to return to the game at wars end. Of the Hearts men many were disabled, and seven were dead, this memorial was erected by grateful citizens in 1922 to commemorate their sacrifice and effort. Each year the service of remembrance is held here and several hundred gather to commemorate the death of these men. In attendance are representatives from the clubs involved and many who feel these men, and those from all later conflicts, should never be forgotten.

There is a fear that the council are doing their best to 'dump' the memorial in an unsuitable place. This would be unfortunate. Haymarket, at the bottom of Dalry Road leads up to Tynecastle Park, the home of the Hearts. It is also the meeting place of roads from the west and thousands of people pass through each day on their daily routine. This is the spot this memorial needs to be found, nowhere else. This was the intention in the twenties and the introduction of trams into Edinburgh surely should not over ride the opinions of many, including the many descendants of the dead, who believe this memorial ought to be sighted in the Haymarket. It is to be hoped that a sight, possibly outside 'Ryries bar,' another listed building, may be chosen. The fear is council staff, uninterested in the memorial nor the feelings of those involved, may choose to store the memorial and possibly even allow it to be forgotten. This must be opposed.

Monday, The Bug, The Driving and the Sleeping

This is a computer image of a cold virus. A small thing of itself but one that affects us all and ought to be banned under the Geneva Convention. It is indeed a brute! I'm sure we all agree!

The common cold virus rhinovirus 16 contains 60 sites capable of connecting to a
receptor, called ICAM-1, on human cells. The virus uses several of these sites to gain
entry into the cell. This computer-simulated model, developed by Purdue researchers,
shows where the receptors attach to the outer protein shell of the virus.

This horror has been hanging around for weeks. No matter what I do it remains, like debts and gray clouds over the UK. It returned the other day leaving me languid and with the occasional aches. It dissipated enough today for me to drive around for two hours. It seems to return every few days and is beginning to annoy me. I am not alone in this as I have met other who find such bugs hard to lose nowadays. I am not happy, but then is that any sort of change I ask?

The driving was affected in that I was not fully alert. I got away with it today but can appreciate how folks make mistakes when complacency sets in. Naturally I was not told that we were going into the car park to practice reverse parking. It worked well - at the third attempt. I suppose that lamp post was not used much anyway. The rest of the day was not too bad. I did however manage to catch up with missing sleep in the afternoon, although as an ex-postman the 'postman's sleep' is not one easily given up. All over the world posties lie abed when normal folk still struggle through the day. However nowadays they do not get up as early as we used to. I mis those early mornings. The birds rising singing out their songs in Spring long before the world was up, the occasional fox leaving his footprints in the snow in winter, and the thrusting young police officers, glaring at me as I passed, desperate for a crime to fill their empty hours. It is not the same getting up late, around sevenish, and seeing gray clouds and the beginnings of the 'rush hour.'

The bug has limited the things I can be bothered to do. So there is a job or tow to attend to tomorrow, jobs to apply for, windows to open to let air in, and possibly a bath - it is nearly the end of the month - and no doubt other things will arise that need to be ignored.

Well that's wasted a lot of your time. So, to brighten things up here are some quotes for you.


“Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!”
-Lady Astor to Winston Churchill at a dinner party
“Madam, if I were your husband, I would drink it!”
-Winston Churchill’s response.

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time reading it."
-Moses Hadas

"He inherited some good instincts from his Quaker forebears, but by diligent hard work, he overcame them."
-James Reston (about Richard Nixon)

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
-Forrest Tucker

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-Mae West

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."
-Billy Wilder

Note to US Bloggers

We know you are having an election,
but there is no need to talk about it
all the time
we don't care!!!!!!!!!

Saturday Morning

Friday night's inability to sleep, caused by dozing too long after what passed for lunch, was followed by waking up at five thirtyish and being unable to sleep. Already the mornings are dark and it was at least half an hour before the grayness disappeared and blue began to tinge the sky. I had to deposit a note into the council office on the far side of the park so not long after seven I dragged my hulk out into what has become a wonderful bright chilly morning. As the sun rose it caused a mist to slowly rise from the field and some of that can be seen in the photo above.

When I lived in the Notting Hill area of London I was struck by the down at heel appearance of much of the northerly part of the district. However, when the sun shone even the most dowdy areas came alive and took on a welcoming aspect. It never fails to amaze me how such a thing as natural daylight gives folk a lift. Some in the UK suffer from a depression caused by too little sunshine, mostly the Scots naturally. P.G.Wodehouse's comment that it was "It is seldom difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman and a ray of sunshine," was not without reason. It is the incessant gray cloud that hangs over the nation that gives us that natural cynicism that has done so much to improve the world around us.

So the rising sun has brought life to the nation, the world turns on its way, another Saturday begins to get into gear, and I am back of to bed. Only postmen get up this early in the real world!

Shock

Liverpool play football!

Shock indeed Liverpool play against Marseilles and we see a game worth watching! By a penalty and an excellent Steve Gerrard goal Liverpool won. But the French side showed wonderful flair in getting beat while keeping the fans attention. I enjoyed this game! That is the first Liverpool game I have enjoyed for years!

Oops, must go, their fans may be about!

Wasted Day

It has been yet another one of those days when all I had planned failed to occur. It started well enough but failed to continue. I was side tracked by that silly 'Block Game' that wasted time I should have spent writing to folk. I also spent too much time raking through a box of photographs that was hidden in the cupboard, and scanning them in. They brought back memories and some of them were quite reasonable, but not all! Ah memories,how sweet - sometimes! There were a great many pictures of children found there. Some our family and some friends brats. The trouble was I could not remember who many of them were! Kids all look the same don't they? These were the pics not good enough for the albums so were not of the greatest quality, and so many now 'stick' in the old albums it is hard to get them out again. Life is hard when you are an idiot. The albums either fall apart and the pics land all over the place or they stick in there. It's British! Wot do you expect?

I was also sidetracked by 'Blogcatalog' again. I looked up my favourites as usual and then went looking for something new. Not much today, but I found myself looking back at the regulars several times a day. Am I the only one that does this? Or is it because I have too much time wasting on my hands? Yep, OK, that's it. That and avoiding doing the things I ought to be doing. It has to be said the folk I frequent are funny mind. Not only that but wise as well as witty. How nice to know them - even from a distance. Most folk prefer to know me at a distance mind.

I was intending to attempt to sell some things on E-Bay and have been following one or two books to see if there is a market for them out there. maybe I can offload one or two things this way. If not I may try Amazon for the books. Trouble is most of my books I want to keep. The ones I don't need I have already dumped into charity shops. If I could work out what sells I may buy books there and aim to profit. Profit? I think I remember that word.....

Must go, Liverpool are about to bore the pants of us with a miserable draw against Marseilles.

How to know you are a Scot.

Scattered showers with outbreaks of sunshine and a cold northerly wind, is your idea of good weather.

You were forced to do Scottish country dancing every year at primary school.

You have a wide knowledge of local words, and know: Numpty is an idiot, Aye is yes, Aye right is No, Auldjin is someone over 40, and Baltic is cold.

You used to love destroying your teeth with - Penny Dainties, Wham Bars, Cola Cubes, and Soor Plooms.(And still do!)

You always greet people by talking about the weather.

Even if you normally hate the Proclaimers, Runrig, Caledonia, Deacon Blue, Big Country, etc, you still love it when they are played in a club abroad. (in fact you’ll probably ask the DJ to play it)

You have an enormous feeling of dread, even when Scotland play a diddy team.

You are proud that Scotland has the highest number of alcohol and smoking deaths in Europe.

You used to watch Glen Michael’s Cartoon Cavalcade on a Sunday Afternoon with his lamp Paladdin.

You got Oor Wullie and The Broons books Every Christmas.

You only enjoy Weir’s Way on the telly, when you are pissed.

You are able to recognise the regional dialect, (Glasgow) ‘Awright pal, gonie gies a wee swatcha yir paper nat, Cheers, magic pal. (Aberdeen) Fitlike Loon? Furryboots ya bin up tae? fair few quines in the night, min. (Inverness) Ah-eee right enuffff! How’s you keeeepeeeen?

You have witnessed a ‘Square Go’

You know that when you are asked which School you attended they really mean, ‘Are you Catholic or Proddy?’

You have eaten the following: Mince and Tatties, Cullen Skink, Tunnock’s Teacakes, Snowballs and Caramel Wafers, Porridge, Macaroon Bar, Baxters Soup, Scotch Pie, Oatcakes. (Yum!)

A Jakey has ask you for 10p for a cuppa tea.

You wait at the shop counter for 1p change. You know that the right response to ‘you dancing?’ is ‘you askin?’ followed by ‘am askin’ and finally ‘then am dancin’.

You don’t do shopping, you ‘go for the messages.’

You’re on a bus and the drunk picks you to sit next to.

You are able to conduct a 20 minute phone call using three words only,-- Awright, aye, and naw.

When you refuse the offer of a drink, you hear, ‘ You no well?’

You have heard the following:

You canny fling pieces oot a 20 storey flat,
700 hungry weans’ll testify to that,
If its butter, cheese or jelly,
If the breed is plain or pan,
The chances o’ it reachin earth,
Are ninety nine tae wan.

You know that going to a party means bringin a Kerry oot.

Your holiday in Benidorm is ruined when you hear there is a heatwave back home.

Scotland go 2-0 up against the French, and you immediately think, getting beat 3-2 was ‘no a bad result’.

You can pronounce: McConnochie, Ecclefechan, Milngavie, and Kirkcaldy.

You are used to four seasons in one day. (winter, winter, autumn, winter)

You can fall when drunk and not spill your drink.

Joke

I was testing the children in my local Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to Heaven. I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven ?

' 'NO!' the children answered.

'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?'

Again, the answer was, 'NO!'

'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my wife would that get me into Heaven?' I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, 'NO!'

I was just bursting with pride for them. Well, I continued, 'then how can I get into Heaven?'

A six-year-old boy from Glasgow shouted out, 'YOU'VE GOT TAE BE DEID DAFTY!'

Pretentious Writing

I came across a job advert that stuck in my throat. Not the job itself but the pretentious writing that is used to offer the position. A style I think typical of Social Work type jobs.

'The Adults, Health and Community Wellbeing Directorate at The County Council
are expanding their Reablement and Domiciliary Support Service.'

The 'Directorate' name is pretentious enough but 'Reablement?' What on earth does that mean?

The folks at the council believe that:-

'This is an exciting initiative, and to drive this service forward
we require Domiciliary Support Assistants ...'

'....drive this service forward' Do they mean 'do the job?'

'The Domiciliary Support Assistants’ role is to provide personal and practical
support to service users. You will follow support plans and liaise
with Facilitators to ensure service users are supported in an enabling way.'

'Service users?' Supported in and 'enabling way?'

This pretentious claptrap, aimed at recruiting, among others, 'Domiciliary Support Assistants' is a pompous way of saying we want 'Home helps,' to look after folk who have returned home after long spells in hospital or some other debilitating problem, and need support, encouragement, and a few pieces of common sense advice. Instead we get this ostentatious indulgence that cares little for those who are the 'end users,' and is intent on self importance. Social work, personnel officers, (now referred to as 'Human Resources) are among the least interested in the folk they deal with, yet they use the most inflated language to sell themselves. Personally I think it sickening, as the people who need them may well get decent treatment from the 'front line staff,' but so much resource is wasted on this bureaucratic mince!

Today

Today I spent catching up on all the things ignored while Malware hunting. Little things like opening the windows to let in fresh air was good, I noticed the mice, fly's and bedbugs were all suffering in the stagnant air. I cleaned a dish or two, put out the rubbish and opened the curtains, suddenly I felt this was a new world!

The driving yesterday was still spinning my little mind. Imagine me driving down the dual carriageway? I walked for a while this morning to see if my legs still worked but I found myself attempting to drive lots of passing cars. Change gear, accelerate, clutch, and so on at every corner. I am not sure if I am beginning to adapt to the car or just stark staring bonkers. (No suggestions please!) Such exercise, the walking not the pseudo driving, was much needed. I have been eating less but not doing enough exercise and I must lose some of this girth. Later I wandered out for a while and in the afternoon I got on the bike and cycled around the industrial estate looking for job adverts (some companies still post them outside the door). They didn't today!

I contacted one or two jobs late this afternoon and await their refusal, and tidied up the mess that is my record of employment seeking. A huge pile of paper represents the companies that do not want me! it was somewhat depressing I must say. Sometimes I wish I had struggled on at Royal Mail, even if it was clearly too much for my knees. Ah well. I am confident that something good will arrive soon.A bit more research tomorrow, a few new directions, and maybe putting an advert in the newsagent window.

Ageing, Lazy, Malcontent
Seeks well paid easy, light, employment.
Must be local, and with free lunches.
Preferably with young brunette to assist.
Call 013 999

Antivirus XP 2008

Just what I needed! This thing arrived on my PC on Saturday as I linked to the Edinburgh Evening News. Now I do not think the News was complicit here, I reckon it got in somehow or other and I was suddenly confronted with several screens. There was 'AVG' informing me of a virus. So I followed the recommendation and hit the 'Heal' button. Then a screen for the 'Antivirus XP 2008' appeared and pretended it was scanning and discovering several thousand bugs! All false of course. At around this time (I am confused as to what came in what order, it was fast and furious) the 'Windows Firewall' appeared telling me it was switched off. I switched it on, and now think this was a false screen from the enemy opening the real Firewall! The PC was running very slowly by now.

I attempted to run AVG but this would not work, the brute had turned it off.
Not knowing what to do I looked on the web for advice. But everything relevant to anti virus took me only to their false screens selling me their offerings. When attempting to get the Microsoft site it gave me the screen associated with not being logged on to the web! I could not get out of this. I also noticed that when I clicked on this blog it came up but with their ads and not the normal 'Google' ones along the top. I was getting nowhere and somewhat peeved.

However, as IE and Firefox were infected I remembered I had downloaded Google Chrome but not installed it as yet. This I found was not affected by the baddies (and does not appear to have been so since.) Through this I could search for help.

I first used Windows One care which scrubbed much, but not all, of this virus. This was useful, but takes over an hour to scan (don't they all). Later I brought down the 'Avast' anti virus which I ran as I restarted the PC. The first time I used it there was one baddy captured, so I 'healed' this. This did not help much. I realised I needed to put the bug into 'The Chest.' So I ran it again as I logged in and this time I put in 'The Chest' all that came up. This worked!

I then used 'Windows One care' plus 'AVG' once more. Time flies when having fun!

Now after all this things are much better but when I log in 'AVG' tells me off a virus, (C:\WINDOWS\syst32\pphc75?0e57v.exe) which I attempt to put it in the vault, but it says 'Access denied.' So I 'heal' it. I find 'Windows One Care' claims the same thing. This happens whenever I start the PC. I do not believe it is healed, and do not know if it is causing problems or looking to pinch details of anything on the PC.

As I write this Windows One Care is running, and suddenly 'AVG' has just told me of three infections. It could not remove them it says, however 'One Care' has also brought two to my attention and so they are 'cleaned' (maybe)! I wonder!

This is a right little blighter (not a word you hear often) and beginning to annoy me. Until I can remove it I am wary as to what it is doing there! How did I let it in? I am sure the firewall was on. From what I read this is difficult to remove, and I write this for your warning. I think it is time I kept a 'Geek' in the spare cupboard. This could go on for ever!

(Later) Fixed the brute!
A good guy suggested the Bleeping Computer and from there I obtained Malwarebytes' Anti-Malware which removed the beast and other things also! I am so happy now!

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However this morning I went driving again. Each week he has a surprise for me, roundabouts, Colchester, and this week - Dual Carriageways! After wandering north and venturing through Sudbury, a town built entirely out of one way systems, we took the twisting road towards Ipswich. That slowed the average speed down I can tell you! Each week there is always one who wants to pass, cannot find an opportunity, and is going all they way with us! When I turn off he follows, glaring and grimacing and gnashing teeth. I do feel for them, but at least only one or two have taken chances and passed us when it was unwise! None today I am glad to say. However, we ended up on the edge of Ipswich and came back home, overtaking lorries and slow drivers at nearly 80 at times! I have overtaken the occasional dustcart and milk float before now, but trying to look several ways at high speed is a novelty! I confess I am still shaking! Done it though.

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I would mention Scotland's performance in Macedonia, but our friend Redfinger might log on just to laugh! Typical Scotland, the sight of hot sunshine causes them to lie about on the grass and the fact that their opponents don't lie down always fools us! Still, there is hope a plenty, isn't there? Come on, this is Scotland, do you expect success? Tsk!

Friday

The other day the weather man (that's not him pictured by the way) challenged some of our understanding of weather patterns. Because it has been cloudy and wet on occasions, although we have had warm sunshine also, the population runs around complaining that it was "Better in the old days!" The man looked at the weather patterns over the past hundred years or so and pointed out that the last decade has been the warmest! Indeed while the impression we have is one of gloom and damp, in fact in the past fifty years it was no better.

I have known this as being poor, and how, we never got further than Cowdenbeath for a holiday! Most of ten it was Dunfermline, lucky us! As the Edinburgh holidays started in the first week of July we ought to have expected sunshine and joy. However I used to wander about the town drifting through Dunfermline Glen, donated by the nice Mr Carnegie, and my enduring memory is of damp pathways and dripping trees. That and hanging over the bridge just outside the station as the trains, all steam driven of course, puffed past. It was wet their also often. The fact remains that the UK is next to the Atlantic Ocean. This runs for about 3000 miles or so and is wet and cold. When it evaporates in the heat (heat?) it drops it all on Britain and Ireland, mostly on the west coast of course. It was ever thus yet we complain and remember the days of our childhood when the sun shone all day everyday! And as I cast my mind back it did too! Which speaks volumes for my memory.

I wonder if the folks in Greece walk about telling of the days of their youth when it was really hot?

Thursday

This American election. It goes on and on and on filling hours of TV and radio time, and it is not even our election! While it is important and deserves coverage I wonder if we really need so much of it? There are several differences between the manner of electioneering in the US and the UK and the most obvious is the crowd reaction. Any time someone gets up to speak they are met with rousing cheers and much waving of banners. Why? Because there is no opposition, that's why! Each candidate speaks only to his own people, only paid up members (should that read 'donors?) need apply. So the crowd are ready to cheer and cheer they do! Every sentence the hero emits is cheered to the rafters, no matter what he says. "God bless America" brings huge cheers as does "I watched a ball game today," folks still cheer, not because of what is said but because that is what they do. Please, please, give it a rest! In the UK there are meetings for party loyalists, but there are also many opportunities to greet and speak to the public directly. This does not produce wild ecstasy from the loyal, but can receive rousing abuse from the enemy! In the last few years this has lessened considerably but still does produce among the abuse and catcalls the occasional childish egg throwing and on occasions a punch! Such open democracy is rarely seen in the US presidential race. It might add some worthwhile television mind.

Another point while abusing passing Americans must be the women! Why oh why do all American women talk in that high pitched screech? is it not possible to find one with a voice an octave lower somewhere? This latest advert for US democracy is no better. This morning, on both TV and wireless I have been subject to her shrieking tirade against their Democrat opponent. I swear every dog in the district was howling wildly. I ran from channel to channel and she was always there. It was like she was following me around just to satisfy a dominatrix desire to burst my eardrums. I remember a young, jealous, English lass pointing out to all and sundry that Californian girls in bikinis may be attractive and available but they all talked "....in high pitched voices!" She said this in a vain attempt to stop her men chasing the girls. Hmmm.
Please America, if you let the woman talk, turn down the sound!

Just think. If McCain wins the election, this woman becomes vice president. Can I ask you to image the situation if something happened to the President, if he died of a heart attack for instance. This woman would have come out of nowhere, or Alaska, as it is better known, to become the first female President of the United States. Consider the reaction of Hilary Clinton, can you imagine her thoughts? Bwwaaahhhaaahhaaaa! Funny? Oh Yes! Bwahaaahaaa!

Wednesday

Rolling news channels can be very good when there is a story of importance which needs to be told now! Great indeed and very useful for society. However when the story does not add up to much we are subject to a desperate attempt to pad out the time until the adverts (and how!) so someone has to ask dumb questions and receive dumber, and much drawn out, answers. As the day progresses the same faces appear repeating the same drawn out nothingness and repeats of conversations with folks who have only tenuous connections with the main subject have to be endured repeatedly. Kevin Keegan has not appeared, so the talk was entirely speculative. How lucky we are that Alan Curbishley found an excuse to get out of West Ham. Not so important but changes the topic for us.

In between writing for two jobs that do not suit, I don't want and don't want me, and informing the Member of Parliament just what I think of the rip off merchants who are overcharging us for gas and electric I have been indulging in the Sky News repetition. I am so glad I got the video working again. After my early morning bike ride,(just why do I feel so worn out when they tell us exercise makes us feel 'good?') I found time to slouch in front of the TV set and indulge what passed for breakfast. Using 'Freeview' I can get many channels and I amazed at the amount of meaningless tripe that fills the early morning schedules. Thirty year old American cop shows, a variety of talk shows where the lower orders have their broken lives exposed - the modern day 'freak shows.' Who is watching this rubbish? Some of these shows start at six in the morning! Who wants to watch a life destroyed at that time?

Now they are giving us the US election. We are as sick of this as the Yanks must be! We have sat through the Obama v Clinton war, and nobody cared about McCain! Now it is his chance and all they talk about is his unknown running mates daughters pregnancy! Is it six in the morning I ask? Will the loser appear of Oprah or Montel and reveal the family mess? I hope not. I think it is time the Yanks copied our political system, at least it is over in six weeks!