As I was setting the stereo to tape a radio programme I once again found the machine playing up. Instead of changing the time, it changed to the programme. All too often it does things it ought not! If I switch it off, it comes on again! If I turn down the volume the sound goes on down to zero, if I turn it up it reaches 90 decibels. It will not be long before this one reaches the end.
This is worrying me. Already I have a broken washing machine, the P.C. is broken, this laptop is not working properly and the video played perfectly, until yesterday! Now all tapes show up as 'snow' while the picture appears when fast forwarded! Great! The microwave is falling apart and will need renewing, and the kettle is leaking.
This would not be a problem but for a misfortune with money. That is, there is none! Here am I, unloved, unwanted, and no wonder, with no job and with a sore knee! Being fifty five means no one wants to employ me, my memory is going and I keep forgetting things, even peoples names when I am talking to them. I checked the money tonight and came to a startling find, I am broke! It seems that the benefit cash and the dole money is not covering as much as I thought. In short, my new 'o' level in maths has not helped my calculations. I am still a dunce. When I pay all the debts at the end of the month I will have £12 to last a month! I may lose more weight than I thought........
What to do? I cannot think as I am dumb, I cannot do the jobs I am used to because of the knee, I can't even drive and now cannot get the lessons I have been looking for. Employers don't want me, I have nothing to offer.......Hmmmmmmm looking good eh?
A short prayer. "Jesus, Heeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllllp! Thank you"
Friday, 23 March 2007
Thursday, 22 March 2007
Dry, Sunny Essex
When I came here eleven years ago, I was delighted to discover Essex was the driest county in England! Fantastic! I was also under the impression it was one of the flattest. Combining this 'little Holland' with Global Warming I thought I was on to a good thing here. How wrong I was!
Within two years I received anxious phone calls from relatives worried about the money I had borrowed, asking if I had drowned in the floods. Naturally they were delighted, at least the piggy banks were, that flooding only happened at the bottom of the hills, hills which I thought did not exist! Flooding did take place, and has done since several times. A combination of heavy rain and swollen rivers makes for uncomfortable living. This begs the question, why buy a house at the bottom of a hill next to a stream? And the houses bought are not the cheap ones either. What drives folk to seek houses there? Could it be that is where 'the right people' live? You know, the middle class folks, 'our kind' as it were. Certainly a more intelligent, less class conscious type might move to a better place, but I digress.
The hills. Yes, there are hills, and steep ones at that. I did not notice them at first, but once I got on the bike and found myself struggling up slopes I had not noticed before, then I noticed them. Once I began delivering mail by bike, I noticed them even more!
Struggling up a hill with a twenty five kilo bag of mail aint no fun son I can tell you! Naturally, in such a job as that, there is always one who has to claim he cycles up daily with no problem. We all tend to agree with folk like that. The cycling is no problem, it's the lies that irritate! Why is there always a man who has to boast of his prowess when all and sundry know he is lying? Not only that, he knows we know, but he goes on pretending he is fooling folks, and even impressing them. The word 'tosser' is appropriate here.
Essex, county of hills and rain after all. But on the other hand, there is indeed more dry days than wet, more chance of a hosepipe ban than a flood. More chance of my lottery win arriving than daft middle class types buying houses they actually want than just because they are with the 'right kind of people.' Could be worse mind, I could be in some city centre. At least I can always see the sky here, even if it is overcast and light gray at the moment.
Within two years I received anxious phone calls from relatives worried about the money I had borrowed, asking if I had drowned in the floods. Naturally they were delighted, at least the piggy banks were, that flooding only happened at the bottom of the hills, hills which I thought did not exist! Flooding did take place, and has done since several times. A combination of heavy rain and swollen rivers makes for uncomfortable living. This begs the question, why buy a house at the bottom of a hill next to a stream? And the houses bought are not the cheap ones either. What drives folk to seek houses there? Could it be that is where 'the right people' live? You know, the middle class folks, 'our kind' as it were. Certainly a more intelligent, less class conscious type might move to a better place, but I digress.
The hills. Yes, there are hills, and steep ones at that. I did not notice them at first, but once I got on the bike and found myself struggling up slopes I had not noticed before, then I noticed them. Once I began delivering mail by bike, I noticed them even more!
Struggling up a hill with a twenty five kilo bag of mail aint no fun son I can tell you! Naturally, in such a job as that, there is always one who has to claim he cycles up daily with no problem. We all tend to agree with folk like that. The cycling is no problem, it's the lies that irritate! Why is there always a man who has to boast of his prowess when all and sundry know he is lying? Not only that, he knows we know, but he goes on pretending he is fooling folks, and even impressing them. The word 'tosser' is appropriate here.
Essex, county of hills and rain after all. But on the other hand, there is indeed more dry days than wet, more chance of a hosepipe ban than a flood. More chance of my lottery win arriving than daft middle class types buying houses they actually want than just because they are with the 'right kind of people.' Could be worse mind, I could be in some city centre. At least I can always see the sky here, even if it is overcast and light gray at the moment.
Monday, 19 March 2007
Good and Bad Weekend!
When your team puts in a performance like we did against Dundee United you need something to lift the heart, or in deed Hearts I should say. Four nil loss at home to a mediocre team that is rebuilding from a position of nothingness? How come? Vlads bad management structure, poor team relationships, and lack of strong leadership, that's too the fore. What will happen now? There are no top players either fit or available. Far too many of the better players hide, and soon the split will mean we are against those clubs fighting for the EUFA place. Disaster awaits!
Now, when you need something good to happen to you what occurs? A novelty, a blip, a nightmare that's what! Yes indeed, the Wee Team went of and won the third trophy in Scottish football the CIS League Cup! How could they? And how could they do it so emphatically, five goals to one indeed! I am glad I do not live in Edinburgh at these times, I may get done for assassination!
However, not all is bad. God has been good this past few days.Indeed I think folks prayers have meant leading me to a church that can be helpful and certainly indicating Jesus love for me still, in spite of it all! I have never really enjoyed Jesus as I ought. I keep holding back from giving my self too him fully. But I am encouraged this weekend here. Through the hail that has come down in blizzards at times I can see sunshine in Jesus. Lets have more Lord. And if you can do something about Vlad getting a proper manager, well, that would be good also......
Now, when you need something good to happen to you what occurs? A novelty, a blip, a nightmare that's what! Yes indeed, the Wee Team went of and won the third trophy in Scottish football the CIS League Cup! How could they? And how could they do it so emphatically, five goals to one indeed! I am glad I do not live in Edinburgh at these times, I may get done for assassination!
However, not all is bad. God has been good this past few days.Indeed I think folks prayers have meant leading me to a church that can be helpful and certainly indicating Jesus love for me still, in spite of it all! I have never really enjoyed Jesus as I ought. I keep holding back from giving my self too him fully. But I am encouraged this weekend here. Through the hail that has come down in blizzards at times I can see sunshine in Jesus. Lets have more Lord. And if you can do something about Vlad getting a proper manager, well, that would be good also......
Wednesday, 14 March 2007
Exercise
OK so the weighing machine groaned when I stood on it, and the plastic cover on the dial flew off, but that does NOT make me fat! Anybody who is out of work and spending too much time sitting at a broken computer could easily put weight on. Especially when it rains outside, or the neighbours complain about the noise up above them. This hinders exercise you must understand.
However, when said machine creaked a wee bit and the dial read 16 and a half stone (that's 231 lbs to the uneducated) I decided something must be done.
So it was out on the bike, along the flat streets a couple of days, and up the old railway line yesterday. Would do that more often if those dog walkers waited until I passed. You have no idea how many pooches wait until you cycle up to them then meander in front of you! Today I not only went down the flat road, and the long way round, I also walked for a while in the sunshine.
Now I realise just how unfit I have become. Puffing and panting in a way I did not do four years ago! Working for Royal Mail did my knees no good at all. I used to go long walks but now struggle after half an hour. Losing weight will help, but I wonder if the knees will ever be the same? The arthritis under the right knee won't help, but that also makes me walk at an angle. This is something that is getting worse. I came across Nina a few weeks ago and she was shocked at the change. That was worrying. However, with the cycling and walking, with the weights I lift and the other exercises I reckon I will lose the fat stomach, feel better, think better also, or give up and be a slob! Things must change. getting a job, with the routine etc that goes with it would help, and being healthier might help me get a job. What kind of work needs fat slobs.
And when were are on the subject, why do folks use the word 'obese' in the media when they refer to fat folk? Are they ashamed? Or is 'fat' not educated enough? pretentious misuse of words by the media folk I guess. I am heading for 'fat,' and that in the big belly area at that. Not 'obese,' just 'fat,' and it's disgusting!
However, when said machine creaked a wee bit and the dial read 16 and a half stone (that's 231 lbs to the uneducated) I decided something must be done.
So it was out on the bike, along the flat streets a couple of days, and up the old railway line yesterday. Would do that more often if those dog walkers waited until I passed. You have no idea how many pooches wait until you cycle up to them then meander in front of you! Today I not only went down the flat road, and the long way round, I also walked for a while in the sunshine.
Now I realise just how unfit I have become. Puffing and panting in a way I did not do four years ago! Working for Royal Mail did my knees no good at all. I used to go long walks but now struggle after half an hour. Losing weight will help, but I wonder if the knees will ever be the same? The arthritis under the right knee won't help, but that also makes me walk at an angle. This is something that is getting worse. I came across Nina a few weeks ago and she was shocked at the change. That was worrying. However, with the cycling and walking, with the weights I lift and the other exercises I reckon I will lose the fat stomach, feel better, think better also, or give up and be a slob! Things must change. getting a job, with the routine etc that goes with it would help, and being healthier might help me get a job. What kind of work needs fat slobs.
And when were are on the subject, why do folks use the word 'obese' in the media when they refer to fat folk? Are they ashamed? Or is 'fat' not educated enough? pretentious misuse of words by the media folk I guess. I am heading for 'fat,' and that in the big belly area at that. Not 'obese,' just 'fat,' and it's disgusting!
Thursday, 8 March 2007
Women
God created women so they could know him and praise him. So that they could experience life in all its fullness. How easy it is for men to forget this and abuse them. We look at pictures of their naked bodies and let our fantasies run free. married or single, old or young we justify it one way or another. Christian men are well aware, not only that it is wrong, but of the harm it does to them, and themselves. yet we still watch a bit of porn, indulge our feelings, and forget that these women, like ourselves, belong to God, not us!
Muslim women tend to be treated very badly indeed. Usually this is because of cultural , rather than religious, motives, but nonetheless the women are rarely free. Afghanistan and Saudi may be amongst the worst, but they are not alone. African women tend to be more independent, but suffer much in many areas. Indian women, especially in the village backwaters, of which there are vast numbers, suffer also.
Women in the 'west' are constantly complaining of their lot. But these women are free, able, and very well off. Rarely do they have genuine deep complaints no matter what they say. The men in the west suffer just as badly, but are expected to just 'get on with it!'
The point is, no matter where we are in this world. No matter what century we lived in, God in Christ Jesus created all women. Each one is precious in his sight. Each and every one cost the life of the saviour, none are left out of the finished work on the cross. They are meant to be free in Christ, meant to have a life of fulfilment, meant to be praising him in all things, and meant to know him and enjoy him for ever.
Can we Christian men stand around ogling them? Are we entitled to sit back and allow women in other religions or cultures to suffer? Is it right for us to forget they belong to God and not us?
Married or single, whatever our area of life, the sex urge does impel us to look at women. We want one, usually 'now!' The way they dress in the west does not help us of course, and their own sexual liberality is a distraction. But it is for the individual male to remind himself that they belong to God. We all know this can be hard when sex rears its head. Single men, especially young ones, find control difficult. So do married men. Their wives are often very unhelpful and a woman who treats her man thoughtlessly and ignores his sexual needs does indeed encourage him to look elsewhere. Consideration for the other is very important here, not all women understand, or indeed care at this point.
Let us then see woman as God sees them. Let us love them in Christ, and that is not always easy! We know that! Let us endeavour to ensure that God can get the best out of the women he has made. That she is aware of him and his love for her. That she is enabled to praise him and enjoy him,whatever the situation. Slave or free, rich or poor, black or white, known unto Jesus or not, let the male love them as Jesus loves his church.
Muslim women tend to be treated very badly indeed. Usually this is because of cultural , rather than religious, motives, but nonetheless the women are rarely free. Afghanistan and Saudi may be amongst the worst, but they are not alone. African women tend to be more independent, but suffer much in many areas. Indian women, especially in the village backwaters, of which there are vast numbers, suffer also.
Women in the 'west' are constantly complaining of their lot. But these women are free, able, and very well off. Rarely do they have genuine deep complaints no matter what they say. The men in the west suffer just as badly, but are expected to just 'get on with it!'
The point is, no matter where we are in this world. No matter what century we lived in, God in Christ Jesus created all women. Each one is precious in his sight. Each and every one cost the life of the saviour, none are left out of the finished work on the cross. They are meant to be free in Christ, meant to have a life of fulfilment, meant to be praising him in all things, and meant to know him and enjoy him for ever.
Can we Christian men stand around ogling them? Are we entitled to sit back and allow women in other religions or cultures to suffer? Is it right for us to forget they belong to God and not us?
Married or single, whatever our area of life, the sex urge does impel us to look at women. We want one, usually 'now!' The way they dress in the west does not help us of course, and their own sexual liberality is a distraction. But it is for the individual male to remind himself that they belong to God. We all know this can be hard when sex rears its head. Single men, especially young ones, find control difficult. So do married men. Their wives are often very unhelpful and a woman who treats her man thoughtlessly and ignores his sexual needs does indeed encourage him to look elsewhere. Consideration for the other is very important here, not all women understand, or indeed care at this point.
Let us then see woman as God sees them. Let us love them in Christ, and that is not always easy! We know that! Let us endeavour to ensure that God can get the best out of the women he has made. That she is aware of him and his love for her. That she is enabled to praise him and enjoy him,whatever the situation. Slave or free, rich or poor, black or white, known unto Jesus or not, let the male love them as Jesus loves his church.
Sunday, 4 March 2007
Sunday, A Day For Seeking God
At least that was the idea. It seemed good at the time! So when I woke this morning, for the second time, I noticed there was a mist outside. Not much point in having one inside I suppose, anyway, I decided that fitness was important and climbed on the rusting bike with my rusting body and headed for the old railway line. The intention was that I would stop at places, contemplate God as I looked at the country around, take a photo or two of misty scenes,and plod home to continue the seeking. naturally the place was busy. Not 'High Street' busy, but plenty of folks walking their dogs, jogging or just wandering up to the village for whatever purpose. Not much chance of a meditation here. The one time I stopped, as I puffed up the incline the steam trains of the past never noticed, it took seconds for folk to appear in the distance. Hey ho.
So it was back home in due course, and meditate in the bath. Well, doze was more like it as the exercise had failed to stimulate the mental capacities that once resided in the cranium. It took only a short while to decide that protein was required. Salmon and assorted fruits and veg saw to that, and it helped. The theory that a good breakfast is required to survive the day is clearly correct. if there is time of course....
However, by tuning into Premier Radio, http://www.premier.org.uk/Index.cfm?bhcp=1
and listening to the noon worship time life changed. While I was struggling to read the book, and finding my head filled with despair at my unbelief and lack of God there the presenter read a psalm that meant a lot to me. Don't ask which one as I forget, but the words spoke of Gods care and I was lifted suddenly out of the pit! As the bland inconsequential praise so loved of Premier continued, I found myself crying out to God as I had once before in the distant past! Emotion or Spirit? I do not know or care, but this has carried me through the day.
I wandered out later and accidentally came across Sunday football in the park. As the rain slanted sown and the adolescent players struggled with the hill and weather, I found myself just enjoying the rain and the game. I took this as from God and stood happily in the rain for a good while before deciding prayer was what I was supposed to be doing. Back home I read while listening to Premier. Tiring of the blandness of the music I searched out other Internet radio stations and found one in Ottawa playing worship music with a bit more bite. CHRI FM is worth a listen. http://www.chri.ca/chri2/viewpage.php?pageid=67
It done me a lot of good today. I found one or two others that had good thumping music, but this made reading while listening easier.
I find myself tonight wondering where I am after today. Am I nearer God? Have I given myself through the cross? Am I letting him in? I am loner, I always want to be in control and have always resisted letting go, am I nearer that, and have I done enough? Lord please say.
Whatever, today has had many positives. I am glad for it.
So it was back home in due course, and meditate in the bath. Well, doze was more like it as the exercise had failed to stimulate the mental capacities that once resided in the cranium. It took only a short while to decide that protein was required. Salmon and assorted fruits and veg saw to that, and it helped. The theory that a good breakfast is required to survive the day is clearly correct. if there is time of course....
However, by tuning into Premier Radio, http://www.premier.org.uk/Index.cfm?bhcp=1
and listening to the noon worship time life changed. While I was struggling to read the book, and finding my head filled with despair at my unbelief and lack of God there the presenter read a psalm that meant a lot to me. Don't ask which one as I forget, but the words spoke of Gods care and I was lifted suddenly out of the pit! As the bland inconsequential praise so loved of Premier continued, I found myself crying out to God as I had once before in the distant past! Emotion or Spirit? I do not know or care, but this has carried me through the day.
I wandered out later and accidentally came across Sunday football in the park. As the rain slanted sown and the adolescent players struggled with the hill and weather, I found myself just enjoying the rain and the game. I took this as from God and stood happily in the rain for a good while before deciding prayer was what I was supposed to be doing. Back home I read while listening to Premier. Tiring of the blandness of the music I searched out other Internet radio stations and found one in Ottawa playing worship music with a bit more bite. CHRI FM is worth a listen. http://www.chri.ca/chri2/viewpage.php?pageid=67
It done me a lot of good today. I found one or two others that had good thumping music, but this made reading while listening easier.
I find myself tonight wondering where I am after today. Am I nearer God? Have I given myself through the cross? Am I letting him in? I am loner, I always want to be in control and have always resisted letting go, am I nearer that, and have I done enough? Lord please say.
Whatever, today has had many positives. I am glad for it.
Thursday, 22 February 2007
You know it is not your day when............
You know it is not your day when the automatic doors at ‘Tesco's’ do not open and you walk straight into them. You continue the luck by finding your newspaper is not available, and the bread that you desperately long for is no longer obtainable. The unfairness of life smacks you in the face at this point. The point is where other people’s lack of appreciation for the things you love costs you dear!
Of course the day can get better, however wet you get walking home in the rain, but you know it won't. The water bill is lying behind the door, it joins the Gas and Electric ones in the 'This can wait for another day' tray. Stretching back with the morning coffee your eye catches the calendar and note the birthday that you thought is next week occurs today! As you jump to find a card and stop a family disaster the coffee helpfully falls over your laptop.
Just three hundred and twelve more days before the year ends. It seems a long time............
Saturday, 10 February 2007
Anti-Christian Persecution
The anti-Christian persecution grows apace. Silently and slowly more and more we see the persecution enlarge. Today the 'Daily Telegraph' has this comment,
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml;jsessionid=BSB3KPZBLZNRXQFIQMGSFGGAVCBQWIV0?xml=/opinion/2007/02/10/do1001.xml
Is that link long enough?
Here we see organisations working (successfully amongst folk of all sorts, helping them to a better life, and being rejected by town councils because they are Christian orientated! The fact that they work, and that lives are changed for the better is unimportant. These folk put their beliefs first and do not submit to the totalitarian ideology of the council. How can this be? If football crowds are no longer allowed to call footballers 'poofs' because it is 'offensive,' how offensive is it in a free country to object to someone because of their religious belief? Or would an 'ethnic' religion be acceptable I wonder?
Slowly but surely we are entering a period where the Christian church will be attacked because it does not follow the political correctness of the Blair government. Behind it of course is the power of the enemy who cares nothing for politics, but uses this to ensure an assault in these days on those who reject his ways and choose life!
Hard days are ahead once more for the church in the UK. Around the world, in India, China and Muslim lands everywhere the church suffers. Soon the persecution will develop here in this land. Look out for it.
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml;jsessionid=BSB3KPZBLZNRXQFIQMGSFGGAVCBQWIV0?xml=/opinion/2007/02/10/do1001.xml
Is that link long enough?
Here we see organisations working (successfully amongst folk of all sorts, helping them to a better life, and being rejected by town councils because they are Christian orientated! The fact that they work, and that lives are changed for the better is unimportant. These folk put their beliefs first and do not submit to the totalitarian ideology of the council. How can this be? If football crowds are no longer allowed to call footballers 'poofs' because it is 'offensive,' how offensive is it in a free country to object to someone because of their religious belief? Or would an 'ethnic' religion be acceptable I wonder?
Slowly but surely we are entering a period where the Christian church will be attacked because it does not follow the political correctness of the Blair government. Behind it of course is the power of the enemy who cares nothing for politics, but uses this to ensure an assault in these days on those who reject his ways and choose life!
Hard days are ahead once more for the church in the UK. Around the world, in India, China and Muslim lands everywhere the church suffers. Soon the persecution will develop here in this land. Look out for it.
Thursday, 8 February 2007
Home is Two Places Edinburgh and Essex
Flying to Edinburgh almost brought one of those 'Idiot' moments. I had booked one of the Boarding Passes,but was unsure about how much Airport Tax had been paid, it increased at the start of the month. As I arrived at the desk to enquire re tax they pointed out the check-in had closed. The idiot inside me had read the closing time as the opening time! So next thing I was rushing, and upsetting my knees in the process, towards Gate 81. This was of course miles away, and I had to go through the security, then the 'shoe check' then rush for miles. Naturally,when I got there the plane was delayed and there had been no need to hurry. Jesus was looking after me, why did I worry? But I do. Self obsessed as I am.
Edinburgh is so different from Essex. Not just the city but the life. When I am there I am actually often back in time, I refer to the airport as 'Turnhouse,' a name not used for thirty years, and I return to a life I left that long ago. Not that it is all bad, however many of my memories are, and I do not like them. However, it is good to see the family. My nieces have all grown up into fine attractive intelligent women each still showing different characters but each one being a lovely lass in every way. Their kids are growing up in the same fine Scots tradition, however much political correctness destroys their education and common sense. And that is the one thing I have always missed down here. Watching them grow up. Now I miss the kids also.
It had to be, but how I wish I had been different.
My mother is now 92 and beginning to feel her age. But she well might outlive most of us! It is difficult being there as I am too selfish and too used to being on my own, hence the great desire to get back home come Sunday night. Nothing is better than being in your own place and following your own routine, no matter how mean and squalid it might be! Again I ask, could I live there? Not at home certainly, but maybe in Edinburgh or thereabouts if I found the right place. Of course to do this I need to win the lottery, and that my friend is just a lottery. But, after the tiredness wore off, I am back in the routine. Job hunt, self concern, staring at wall time asking what to do, then ignoring God and doing whatever I want anyway. Followed either by guilt or nothingness, then questioning how I am to get out of this? Easy pal. stop being selfish, let Jesus be Lord, and it will fall into place, slowly maybe, but surely!
Anyway, the flight back was interrupted by the neighbour at my side talking. Why, I ask, why can women not just look out the window and enjoy the view like I do? However Fiona turned out to be a bright highly intelligent woman, and there is not many of those around. Working for the Voluntary Arts project and struck me as well worth knowing. In the end I had to admit it was the best journey for a while. I also noticed how many folk seem to stand around doing little at the airport. Seems to me that is something to look into. That's my kind of work.
So by the grace of God the trip went reasonably well. However I still do not relate properly to Mum. Would I get on so well with the rest if I was nearby? They would see me as I am, and although they have a good idea of my ways, it will be awful to have them know just what a complete clown I am.
So Jesus, here we are, grateful for the wee holiday, but living totally for my squalid self once again. I apologise almost humbly, but still find my mind full of thoughts that do not glorify you, expose my weakness and emptiness, and indicate just how far I am from you. Should I stay in Essex or indeed anywhere else? I just do not know. Many good things here in northern Essex, not being alongside the stereotype 'Essex Boy and Girl' is one of them. But what now? I don't know, why ask me.......?
Edinburgh is so different from Essex. Not just the city but the life. When I am there I am actually often back in time, I refer to the airport as 'Turnhouse,' a name not used for thirty years, and I return to a life I left that long ago. Not that it is all bad, however many of my memories are, and I do not like them. However, it is good to see the family. My nieces have all grown up into fine attractive intelligent women each still showing different characters but each one being a lovely lass in every way. Their kids are growing up in the same fine Scots tradition, however much political correctness destroys their education and common sense. And that is the one thing I have always missed down here. Watching them grow up. Now I miss the kids also.
It had to be, but how I wish I had been different.
My mother is now 92 and beginning to feel her age. But she well might outlive most of us! It is difficult being there as I am too selfish and too used to being on my own, hence the great desire to get back home come Sunday night. Nothing is better than being in your own place and following your own routine, no matter how mean and squalid it might be! Again I ask, could I live there? Not at home certainly, but maybe in Edinburgh or thereabouts if I found the right place. Of course to do this I need to win the lottery, and that my friend is just a lottery. But, after the tiredness wore off, I am back in the routine. Job hunt, self concern, staring at wall time asking what to do, then ignoring God and doing whatever I want anyway. Followed either by guilt or nothingness, then questioning how I am to get out of this? Easy pal. stop being selfish, let Jesus be Lord, and it will fall into place, slowly maybe, but surely!
Anyway, the flight back was interrupted by the neighbour at my side talking. Why, I ask, why can women not just look out the window and enjoy the view like I do? However Fiona turned out to be a bright highly intelligent woman, and there is not many of those around. Working for the Voluntary Arts project and struck me as well worth knowing. In the end I had to admit it was the best journey for a while. I also noticed how many folk seem to stand around doing little at the airport. Seems to me that is something to look into. That's my kind of work.
So by the grace of God the trip went reasonably well. However I still do not relate properly to Mum. Would I get on so well with the rest if I was nearby? They would see me as I am, and although they have a good idea of my ways, it will be awful to have them know just what a complete clown I am.
So Jesus, here we are, grateful for the wee holiday, but living totally for my squalid self once again. I apologise almost humbly, but still find my mind full of thoughts that do not glorify you, expose my weakness and emptiness, and indicate just how far I am from you. Should I stay in Essex or indeed anywhere else? I just do not know. Many good things here in northern Essex, not being alongside the stereotype 'Essex Boy and Girl' is one of them. But what now? I don't know, why ask me.......?
Saturday, 27 January 2007
The Great War for Civilisation
I am reading Robert Fisk's book, 'The Great War for Civilisation' at the moment. I am enjoying it, and learning a great deal from it. Unfortunate that it is so big a book, but I suppose it is an enormous subject, and indeed Fisk's life's work in effect. Afghanistan, Iran and now I am onto Iraq. The main lesson is the obvious one, Islamic societies do not want to be told what to do by the west! They desire decent treatment, and independence. Extremists like Bin Laden are not the problem, that is the misuse and misunderstanding of the culture by those that think they can push the world around.
There are many failings in the societies of the middle east, far too many! Cruel savagery is not uncommon. Savagery of a kind not seen in the west since, well, the last time it was seen. Human beings are all the same underneath after all! The British, French, Russian and U.S. empires have all made promises they would not keep, and used and abused the area for their own ends. They still do! It is remarkable how many mistakes have been made in the past and now are being repeated because experts, and ignorant leaders, either do not know of them, or for some obscure reason, imagine that 'This time it will be different.' How wrong they are.
What to do? Good question, I hope you have the answer! I don't.
We could say Jesus is in control and working out his plan. True, but we see it as in a very dark mirror. Many suffer and die if the troops remain, and many will suffer and die if they leave. Oil, the main point for Bush, will keep the interest ongoing. Terrorist strikes may also keep troops there. But again, can you win a war in Afghanistan? The British didn't, the Russians with great power failed miserably, and it is hundreds of years since anyone conquered that land. Will a few thousand, well trained, troops win now? No is the answer. If Pakistan helps out they might. Pakistan cannot help more than she is doing, the people would turn on the leaders. The Al-Quedah (you spell it!) threat may not be as great now as it was. many other groups working alone may be more of a danger. Instead of fighting, maybe dealing with Muslims would be a better, long term idea. However, I have no idea how it would work. Did you notice me going round in circles here?
There are many failings in the societies of the middle east, far too many! Cruel savagery is not uncommon. Savagery of a kind not seen in the west since, well, the last time it was seen. Human beings are all the same underneath after all! The British, French, Russian and U.S. empires have all made promises they would not keep, and used and abused the area for their own ends. They still do! It is remarkable how many mistakes have been made in the past and now are being repeated because experts, and ignorant leaders, either do not know of them, or for some obscure reason, imagine that 'This time it will be different.' How wrong they are.
What to do? Good question, I hope you have the answer! I don't.
We could say Jesus is in control and working out his plan. True, but we see it as in a very dark mirror. Many suffer and die if the troops remain, and many will suffer and die if they leave. Oil, the main point for Bush, will keep the interest ongoing. Terrorist strikes may also keep troops there. But again, can you win a war in Afghanistan? The British didn't, the Russians with great power failed miserably, and it is hundreds of years since anyone conquered that land. Will a few thousand, well trained, troops win now? No is the answer. If Pakistan helps out they might. Pakistan cannot help more than she is doing, the people would turn on the leaders. The Al-Quedah (you spell it!) threat may not be as great now as it was. many other groups working alone may be more of a danger. Instead of fighting, maybe dealing with Muslims would be a better, long term idea. However, I have no idea how it would work. Did you notice me going round in circles here?
Friday, 26 January 2007
Sunshine
The sun is shining and bathing the cold, damp land outside with that lovely yellow light. Overhead the last of the cloud is sweeping south, pushed hard by the cold north wind, leaving behind an ever deepening blue sky. Lovely! A simple thing sunshine, but even with such biting cold air it cheers the soul. For those who spend six months or more in the darkness of constant night, depression is commonplace. Many suffer here because their work keeps them indoors, far from daylight. Life can be improved for each worker simply by putting them near a large window, and letting the light shine in.
For me, if it were possible, I would be on one of those countries that endure sunshine all day long. I realise that this would be difficult to endure, bright sunshine, light, warmth, happiness, all things that need constant endurance I admit, but I am willing to give it a go! Of course, at this moment, I sit hear fully clothed, with a jacket round my shoulders, another over my knees, the heating is on, and the chill that goes through my bones is not lifted even by the sight of the sun on the park opposite.
Still, I'm happy eh?
For me, if it were possible, I would be on one of those countries that endure sunshine all day long. I realise that this would be difficult to endure, bright sunshine, light, warmth, happiness, all things that need constant endurance I admit, but I am willing to give it a go! Of course, at this moment, I sit hear fully clothed, with a jacket round my shoulders, another over my knees, the heating is on, and the chill that goes through my bones is not lifted even by the sight of the sun on the park opposite.
Still, I'm happy eh?
Monday, 22 January 2007
Another Rain Soaked Monday
Gray clouds overhead, rain leaving the streets dark and wet. Folks slipping by, heads down, hoods up. Another Monday in the United Kingdom! Situated here on the eastern edge of the Atlantic Ocean we are buffeted by the winds and the rain. This does give a good harvest, unless it is flooded out of course, and produces a prosperity for some. It has also played it part in producing a dark humour, designed to make the most of mornings like these. Everywhere folk have made it to work, the weather on their lips. Some cursing, some sardonically telling others that it's 'good for the ducks', and being informed no doubt as to just exactly what the ducks can do with the weather.
For me a day of study, it says here, cleaning up, and possible despair as I remember just how good my God has been to me, and just how I withhold myself from him. Self centred, spoilt brat that I am! Will today produce a heart felt change? Or just more of the failure that I have become so used to? We shall see.
For me a day of study, it says here, cleaning up, and possible despair as I remember just how good my God has been to me, and just how I withhold myself from him. Self centred, spoilt brat that I am! Will today produce a heart felt change? Or just more of the failure that I have become so used to? We shall see.
Friday, 19 January 2007
Another Wasted Week!
OK so I did look for work, and with a bad knee, no required skills and age against me nothing happened. But what else did I do? Nothing!
Piled around me are things to study, lists of jobs to be done, books everywhere crying out to be read, and on top of them all....dust! Sums me up this week. I tried, oh yes I tried, but for several days I found myself just sitting there. Not thinking anything, just blandly staring out the window, or just sitting. Actually it was quite enjoyable to do that. Instead of having to do things, read this, write that, get up and do, just sitting for a while in the quiet, with the various noises of life outside not really intruding made a restful change. I did in fact read some of the Joe Lee book. Written, unfortunately, in a 'Sunday Post' manner but worth a look nonetheless. Not enough about his time during the Great War for me, but I suppose like so many others he did not talk too much about it afterwards. The books of his adventures no doubt missed out much of the sights he saw. Those men, like soldiers today, rarely find outsiders who understand how they comprehend their warfare.
Now, after what can laughingly be called exercise, I feel more up for it......hold on, maybe another cup of tea, as everything can wait can't it? I will do the job search this afternoon maybe, and the study then also, and maybe I should just play that 'Blast Billiards' game until the Spirit moves me......
Piled around me are things to study, lists of jobs to be done, books everywhere crying out to be read, and on top of them all....dust! Sums me up this week. I tried, oh yes I tried, but for several days I found myself just sitting there. Not thinking anything, just blandly staring out the window, or just sitting. Actually it was quite enjoyable to do that. Instead of having to do things, read this, write that, get up and do, just sitting for a while in the quiet, with the various noises of life outside not really intruding made a restful change. I did in fact read some of the Joe Lee book. Written, unfortunately, in a 'Sunday Post' manner but worth a look nonetheless. Not enough about his time during the Great War for me, but I suppose like so many others he did not talk too much about it afterwards. The books of his adventures no doubt missed out much of the sights he saw. Those men, like soldiers today, rarely find outsiders who understand how they comprehend their warfare.
Now, after what can laughingly be called exercise, I feel more up for it......hold on, maybe another cup of tea, as everything can wait can't it? I will do the job search this afternoon maybe, and the study then also, and maybe I should just play that 'Blast Billiards' game until the Spirit moves me......
Friday, 12 January 2007
So, Maybe I was Wrong...........
It has been known.
I truly believed that I had sensed the end for me and Jesus. Sitting here I was in some degree of empty vacuousness, and all seemed at an end. However, in the time since Jesus has shown his grace and mercy to me. Once more leading me into a deeper knowledge of himself. Answering prayers that I had not quite asked and revealing his love for me, and desire to have me fully given over to him. I praise him for his answers, and am amazed at his care, and undeserved mercy.
What a God we have in this Jesus! Well, that sounds like one of those awful American Christian sites we see far too much off! I don't often talk like that, I am a wee bit more sober and Scots in my approach. But it is true however, and I am glad and want to have more of Jesus, and to be given over to him completely.
Let's go God!
I truly believed that I had sensed the end for me and Jesus. Sitting here I was in some degree of empty vacuousness, and all seemed at an end. However, in the time since Jesus has shown his grace and mercy to me. Once more leading me into a deeper knowledge of himself. Answering prayers that I had not quite asked and revealing his love for me, and desire to have me fully given over to him. I praise him for his answers, and am amazed at his care, and undeserved mercy.
What a God we have in this Jesus! Well, that sounds like one of those awful American Christian sites we see far too much off! I don't often talk like that, I am a wee bit more sober and Scots in my approach. But it is true however, and I am glad and want to have more of Jesus, and to be given over to him completely.
Let's go God!
Thursday, 4 January 2007
God Has Chosen Me,and I Have Let it Pass Me By
It was there once.
Jesus held out tome the promise of a new life.
His power was available.
The Holy Spirit was there willing to make me a new person.
Willing to change my life for the better. To enable me to do great things for God.
I missed it.
The power was there. He wanted so much to make me new.
I found it ‘inconvenient’ and now am left, bereft.
Once again I am aware of holding back, not opening up.
I remember the word concerning the water flowing from the temple.
How I was seen to stand in it up to my ankles, and say ‘it’s not convenient.’
How I stopped the Holy Spirit working.
I said, once again, I want to let you in.
I had missed it.
The chance has gone.
Gods will has passed.
I am bereft.
Monday, 1 January 2007
New Years Day
New year means little to me now. Brought up in Edinburgh meant at one time it was an excuse for a drunken night out. Not that drunken meant what it does now. This was a time for greeting strangers, knocking on doors and having a good time amongst friends, many of whom you did not know and never saw again! Today it has lost its appeal for many. The attitudes are somewhat rougher and the cheeriness of the past has been replaced by a rip off mentality in a commercial celebration. On the other hand, in the thirty years since the openness of an Edinburgh Hogmany's decline, the English have discovered New Year as another time for a piss up. As if they needed an excuse! The development of a strong economy has meant an overpaid, overweight wealthy nation sees it as a right to indulge as and when they like, with no regard for anyone else. As a nation becomes wealthier the more individual and self obsessed it becomes.
The change of a calendar date means nothing in reality, it is simply an administrative system to help us know where we are in time. The significance really comes from the northern hemisphere looking towards the spring as the days get longer and the dark winter begins to pass. Maybe we should scrap Christmas and New Year and just have a celebration on the shortest day of the year. It would be more honest!
Another year but little has changed so far. The virus still makes me cough, and leaves me near deaf in one ear. The cave lies untidy all around, the TV is stuffed full of mediocrity and downright pap! A new day but not much changes in this badly run, celebrity chasing, empty, lost society of ours.
A good new year to you all, well, both of you, maybe......
The change of a calendar date means nothing in reality, it is simply an administrative system to help us know where we are in time. The significance really comes from the northern hemisphere looking towards the spring as the days get longer and the dark winter begins to pass. Maybe we should scrap Christmas and New Year and just have a celebration on the shortest day of the year. It would be more honest!
Another year but little has changed so far. The virus still makes me cough, and leaves me near deaf in one ear. The cave lies untidy all around, the TV is stuffed full of mediocrity and downright pap! A new day but not much changes in this badly run, celebrity chasing, empty, lost society of ours.
A good new year to you all, well, both of you, maybe......
Monday, 25 December 2006
Christmas Day
Time to remember that Jesus loves me! Wondering why can wait a bit longer. Time to rejoice within at his choice of sinner. Time to wallow in his love and allow self to love in return. Doing it by 'law' will not work. Time to sit back and enjoy a day.
Lunch of leg of lamb with all the trimmings. A beer, or two, coffee, and feet up to watch Christmas Day TV. And if you want to waste time, Christmas Day TV is a complete waste of time!
At this moment we celebrate the coming of the Son of God into his world by watching 'The World at War' series. We could be watching one of the many awful films that fill the day elsewhere. Mostly aimed at kids, but they are much too busy breaking thousands of pounds of gifts that arrived only a few hours ago. There will be at least one Dickens story, usually the Christmas one.
Dickens, renown for his tales of Victorian woe and vileness, yet impressed on kids as a 'must see' each Christmas.
At least the traffic is slow. Few vehicles have passed by today. However quit a few have walked past, in groups and singularly, often walking the dog. Some duties change nought!
The gray, overcast sky cheers no-one on a day like this. It never snows, but that does not stop every other advert in the land featuring that awful substance. The grayness makes depressing viewing, causing the leafless trees to look stark and bare and eerie. Hardly celebration skies!
Jesus was of course born far from this area, and nowhere neat Christmas. if we done our homework correctly we could celebrate in a warmer climate. But those who took over the northern midwinter festival, while understandable, have done us no favours. Still, could be worse.
Christmas greetings to all my readers.....if any!
Lunch of leg of lamb with all the trimmings. A beer, or two, coffee, and feet up to watch Christmas Day TV. And if you want to waste time, Christmas Day TV is a complete waste of time!
At this moment we celebrate the coming of the Son of God into his world by watching 'The World at War' series. We could be watching one of the many awful films that fill the day elsewhere. Mostly aimed at kids, but they are much too busy breaking thousands of pounds of gifts that arrived only a few hours ago. There will be at least one Dickens story, usually the Christmas one.
Dickens, renown for his tales of Victorian woe and vileness, yet impressed on kids as a 'must see' each Christmas.
At least the traffic is slow. Few vehicles have passed by today. However quit a few have walked past, in groups and singularly, often walking the dog. Some duties change nought!
The gray, overcast sky cheers no-one on a day like this. It never snows, but that does not stop every other advert in the land featuring that awful substance. The grayness makes depressing viewing, causing the leafless trees to look stark and bare and eerie. Hardly celebration skies!
Jesus was of course born far from this area, and nowhere neat Christmas. if we done our homework correctly we could celebrate in a warmer climate. But those who took over the northern midwinter festival, while understandable, have done us no favours. Still, could be worse.
Christmas greetings to all my readers.....if any!
Wednesday, 20 December 2006
Christmas at the Cave of Adullam
Once again it is that time of year. The time when shops are crowded with self-seeking, pushy, pig ignorant folks preparing to celebrate the time of goodwill to all men. The time of year when shopkeepers raise their prices so they can reduce them later by a fraction, always calling it a ‘great saving’ before Xmas is over. The time of year when daft folks spend thousands of pounds covering the outside of their house with fairy lights and plastic Santa's. Always claiming they do it for charity, and not just because they are stark staring bonkers!
This is the time of year when countless TV adverts are stuffed full of snow scenes, often Victorian. Ignoring totally that it never snows at Christmas, that snow is bloody awful stuff, and that the cheery Victorians displayed actually died in their twenties of Rickets, consumption or malnutrition! We wish you a merry Christmas, oh yes indeed! Come try carol singing at my door in Victorian dress oh yes!
Apart from the requirement to spend vast sums of money that does not exist, on goods that are not worth the expense, on kids that will forget them almost immediately and adults that give back presents that come nowhere near the value of the gifts handed to them, thus leaving one considerably out of pocket, apart from that, Christmas can be a happy time. Unless you take sick, fall down the stairs or have lost your keys/wallet/mind! All of which are possible at this time of year!
The arrival of Christmas means of course that another year is nearly finished. Once again the hair has turned a more blatant gray, the stiffness in the muscles increases, football players earning £40,000 a week look like children, policemen call you ‘dad’ instead of ‘oi!’ and the energy levels that once took you up hill and down Mrs Dale have gone and left you exhausted while watching televised football. This weariness results in an ever increasing irritation at the amount of ‘pap’ pedalled as worthwhile in the press or media. Societies incessant demand for meaningless trivia sticks in the throat like Moms apple pie. And we know what sort of cook she was! ‘Reality shows’ showing as much reality as a six pound note, find audiences in the millions. While most tend to be small minded, pig ignorant adolescents with malformed brains grown ups and intelligent folk have been known to watch, with glazed eyes, the deviants, attention seekers and psychopaths who thrill televisions high earners so much.
‘Why Should Britain Fear!’ as they used to say.
The high heat of summer saw an opportunity to obtain a red skin and itchy arms for a while. Holidaying by trundling the bike five miles up to a local village of wife swappers and business frauds made for variety. Usually this occasion brings contact with drug dealers and ‘Eastender’ species. You have met them. These are the folk that complain about those foreigners (e.g. blacks) who have moved into the area. To avoid contamination with such immigrants these folks roll up their ‘Daily Mails’ and run off to the Costa Brava to mix with thousands of others of similar mind. No curries in Spain mate, just good old fish and chips!
The accommodation continues to inspire love and devotion. Except the tiles falling off the bathroom wall into the bath, when I am sitting reading my books there. The draught round the bath since the failed attempt to line the rim has been more noticeable as the outside temperature has fallen. The video plays now, one day it will once again record, maybe. I would Google for instructions or repair on the PC but that collapsed and left me with a small laptop, which has several troubles which googling does not answer. The building itself does have a strange smell now, one I had not noticed before. My neighbour mentioned that this has been noticed only since the washing machine broke down. He moved recently. The machine is still broken....
Another Christmas bringing to an end another year of joy and happiness. This leaves us looking forward to another of the same.
Another year of mistakes and breakdowns, of disruption and those needless police raids just before dawn.
Another year off sitting in the park with a can of ’Special brew’ and muttering and growling at passers by.
It’s tradition!
Another year looms bringing the opportunity to be caught outside in a thunderstorm wearing nothing but summer wear, the same summer wear now worn for several years. Another year to find Visa bills falling through the door in a heap, another year of ‘Asbos’ caused by sitting on that bench in the park, of late night noise from folks nearby, of sniffling away at that cold that has hung around since 1987. Another year of finding the milk has run out and the shops have closed, another year of past intimates telling of their success once they have moved on. Another year of wandering round the market at closing time picking up moth eaten cabbages and such for lunch. Another year to look forward to the same as the last, and the one before that, and on and on and on and on back to time immemorial.
Another Christmas. Another cup of ‘OXO’ followed by a mouldy tangerine. Another attempt to drown sorrows in that £1:25 wine form Somerfield. (Two for £1:95) Another Christmas to look forward to, I must go and prepare......
Sunday, 17 December 2006
Prostitute Killings
Five dead prostitutes naturally leads not only to a massive police hunt, but also to a media frenzy.
Nothing pleases the hacks more than sex, and sex connected to murder, and a serial killer at that, is glorious for the muck raking press of this nation. How they have enjoyed dredging up all the stories they can concerning the lives of these girls. Almost twenty four hour coverage on SKY News alone! This has gone for over a week and already there are indications of irritation among the hacks that so far no one has been found. Not that they would be trying to force the investigation eh? Claims of some being interviewed are rebutted by the police, yet those claims still appear in a press desperate to fill pages with 'Revelations!'
Suddenly prostitutes, usually regarded as 'dregs of society' are seen as 'our sisters and family.' Those who would not want them within a hundred miles of their homes tell us of their concern for the girls welfare. Those claiming to represent what they call 'sex workers' appear on every channel and paper. Concern for the girls well being is promoted at many levels.
But do they really care?
As has been stated, while all want to stop the killings and few if any would wish the girls dead, there are none who who welcome prostitutes either walking their street or working from brothels nearby. Where they operate problems of anti social behaviour mount! Women living in the area are accosted by men looking for women, the same girls worry that their men are accosted by those women working the streets! Most want them far from their children. Legalising brothels to keep the girls safe sounds a good idea. But who runs the brothels? Gangsters? Where do the girls come from? Too many here already are sex slaves from all over eastern Europe! Would they not be put through such brothels?
More important must be the actual people involved. How can it be acceptable that women should use men for money? The implication today is always that men use women, while the idea of the reverse is ignored. Human nature teaches us otherwise. If not kidnapped and used as sex slaves where do the girls come from? Most in Ipswich are drug users, 98% according to one group working among them. Girls from a variety of backgrounds hooked on Heroin or cocaine. Can it be acceptable to allow them to use 'safe' brothels while not saving them from drug dependency? We must not forget some girls go on the game for other reasons. Lack of love in their life, from childhood upwards. Inadequacy feelings, maybe they just realise that there is easy money to be made out there! Nothing in such a lifestyle is straight forward.
Legalising the 'oldest profession' would not help anyone. Care for those involved, men or women, as men prostitute themselves also, is required. Those who sell themselves have many problems and unless we recognise this we cannot help them. Allowing them areas to operate just keeps them trapped in a world that dehumanises and destroys them. The false liberals who wish to allow them freedom to operate do not wish to help prostitutes, they just dump the liberal lifestyle on them and run off and let them fend for themselves. This is not care, it is selfishness!
What sort of man or woman needs to use prostitutes? Again we see broken lives and desperate needs. Again care and understanding is required, and a more positive acceptance of responsibilities will lead to a satisfying life.
Nothing pleases the hacks more than sex, and sex connected to murder, and a serial killer at that, is glorious for the muck raking press of this nation. How they have enjoyed dredging up all the stories they can concerning the lives of these girls. Almost twenty four hour coverage on SKY News alone! This has gone for over a week and already there are indications of irritation among the hacks that so far no one has been found. Not that they would be trying to force the investigation eh? Claims of some being interviewed are rebutted by the police, yet those claims still appear in a press desperate to fill pages with 'Revelations!'
Suddenly prostitutes, usually regarded as 'dregs of society' are seen as 'our sisters and family.' Those who would not want them within a hundred miles of their homes tell us of their concern for the girls welfare. Those claiming to represent what they call 'sex workers' appear on every channel and paper. Concern for the girls well being is promoted at many levels.
But do they really care?
As has been stated, while all want to stop the killings and few if any would wish the girls dead, there are none who who welcome prostitutes either walking their street or working from brothels nearby. Where they operate problems of anti social behaviour mount! Women living in the area are accosted by men looking for women, the same girls worry that their men are accosted by those women working the streets! Most want them far from their children. Legalising brothels to keep the girls safe sounds a good idea. But who runs the brothels? Gangsters? Where do the girls come from? Too many here already are sex slaves from all over eastern Europe! Would they not be put through such brothels?
More important must be the actual people involved. How can it be acceptable that women should use men for money? The implication today is always that men use women, while the idea of the reverse is ignored. Human nature teaches us otherwise. If not kidnapped and used as sex slaves where do the girls come from? Most in Ipswich are drug users, 98% according to one group working among them. Girls from a variety of backgrounds hooked on Heroin or cocaine. Can it be acceptable to allow them to use 'safe' brothels while not saving them from drug dependency? We must not forget some girls go on the game for other reasons. Lack of love in their life, from childhood upwards. Inadequacy feelings, maybe they just realise that there is easy money to be made out there! Nothing in such a lifestyle is straight forward.
Legalising the 'oldest profession' would not help anyone. Care for those involved, men or women, as men prostitute themselves also, is required. Those who sell themselves have many problems and unless we recognise this we cannot help them. Allowing them areas to operate just keeps them trapped in a world that dehumanises and destroys them. The false liberals who wish to allow them freedom to operate do not wish to help prostitutes, they just dump the liberal lifestyle on them and run off and let them fend for themselves. This is not care, it is selfishness!
What sort of man or woman needs to use prostitutes? Again we see broken lives and desperate needs. Again care and understanding is required, and a more positive acceptance of responsibilities will lead to a satisfying life.
Thursday, 14 December 2006
Cruel World!
For over a week now I have been suffering! Suffering such as no-one can imagine! Well, no-one but those who endure such a sickness like mine. It has threatened for weeks and eventually broke on Saturday. I was trapped indoors until yesterday, unable to sleep till last night, and that with difficulty, unable to enjoy anything that life has to offer.
Yes,I had a cold!
The 'common cold' seen by some as a mere trivial event is to those who suffer these things at their worst a cruel, demanding, destructive force that permeates the entire being and reduces the strong and mighty to dust! Yet my favourite checkout girl in Sainsburys yesterday muttered disparagingly 'Man cold.' I indicated I was dying but this received nothing more than a derogatory ' Huh.' The cruelty of women knows no bounds! Even now, my head hurts like an axe has been used on it, I can't stop coughing, menthol type sweets to enable me to breathe have left me sick to my stomach, concentration levels are feeble, and the temperature still affects me whatever it is!
The Christmas shop has been hindered,the box has not been sent, stamps not bought, other things left undone. Naturally the place stinks, all is dishevelled, and I really do not care a whit!
But I am not one to complain!
However, the cruel world that thinks a 'cold' is of no matter will soon be knocking on my door for sympathy. Then I will become like the checkout girl, 'I don't do sympathy!' Then they will be telling me how serious their 'disease' is, while I had a mere chill!
Over two hundred cold virus can be found. Each one constantly mutates and every single one has come by my door! I am convinced this one has been hanging around since that day in 1987 I got caught in the rain! Everybody suffers from them, none can escape! Yet there is no way to cure the thing? Colds and Flu, the real thing not the type of suffering I have just endured,costs the nation millions each year. Days off from work, loss of production, the suffering to young and old, even death in the already sick or feeble. Yet we dismiss this as nothing much. However, when I was working if I put 'Cold' on the sick note the manager would scowl. If however I wrote 'Chronic Rhinitis' they accepted this as a disease. That tells us how they got the job!
I have been suffering badly and getting no sympathy whatsoever! This cruel world owes me an apology!
Yes,I had a cold!
The 'common cold' seen by some as a mere trivial event is to those who suffer these things at their worst a cruel, demanding, destructive force that permeates the entire being and reduces the strong and mighty to dust! Yet my favourite checkout girl in Sainsburys yesterday muttered disparagingly 'Man cold.' I indicated I was dying but this received nothing more than a derogatory ' Huh.' The cruelty of women knows no bounds! Even now, my head hurts like an axe has been used on it, I can't stop coughing, menthol type sweets to enable me to breathe have left me sick to my stomach, concentration levels are feeble, and the temperature still affects me whatever it is!
The Christmas shop has been hindered,the box has not been sent, stamps not bought, other things left undone. Naturally the place stinks, all is dishevelled, and I really do not care a whit!
But I am not one to complain!
However, the cruel world that thinks a 'cold' is of no matter will soon be knocking on my door for sympathy. Then I will become like the checkout girl, 'I don't do sympathy!' Then they will be telling me how serious their 'disease' is, while I had a mere chill!
Over two hundred cold virus can be found. Each one constantly mutates and every single one has come by my door! I am convinced this one has been hanging around since that day in 1987 I got caught in the rain! Everybody suffers from them, none can escape! Yet there is no way to cure the thing? Colds and Flu, the real thing not the type of suffering I have just endured,costs the nation millions each year. Days off from work, loss of production, the suffering to young and old, even death in the already sick or feeble. Yet we dismiss this as nothing much. However, when I was working if I put 'Cold' on the sick note the manager would scowl. If however I wrote 'Chronic Rhinitis' they accepted this as a disease. That tells us how they got the job!
I have been suffering badly and getting no sympathy whatsoever! This cruel world owes me an apology!
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