Heart of Midlothian 2 Hibernian 0. Goals from Stevenson and Webster saw off the feeble challenge from the 'hump it and see' wee team. The 'flair' with which they are famous (one day I will add that to the list of 'Myths that have no source,') was seen to be long balls up to the dope wearing the No 9 shirt. He fluffed it, several times! Besides the usual attempt to decapitate and injure our innocent players the opposition offered nothing worth mentioning. It was however pointed out that a club famous for having incompetent goalkeepers had a star man in their goalie today, and he still lost!
The new shape of the Heart of Midlothian continues to develop. Another season at the top end of the table is for us to expect, while the wee team suffer another season avoiding relegation. While our noble players receive treatment for the bruisers obtained today they will rest, in between guzzling champagne, and while the fans indulge in reminding friends who support the Hibs, if they can find them (I appear to be persona non granta from one Hibs board) that Hearts are once again dominant, the Hibs folks will be in their beds! I suspect the only thing Hibernian will do is sack the manager, although it is of course the chairman's fault that they are in this position, but he will be replaced by another numpty, probably McGhee! However as I am not one to gloat when my enemy falls I will pass on such gloating, but I will feature the table as it stands tonight anyway! This is fast becoming the most one sided derby game in the world! Let us look at the figures.
Since the first derby, played at Edinburgh's East Meadows on the 25th of December 1875, which the Heart of Midlothian won by one goal to nil, there have been 618 derby matches. The statistics are as follows.
Heart of Midlothian Victories : 276
Hibernian, the Wee Team : 200
Drawn games: 141
Abandoned: (Hibs ran away in a huff) : 1
Goals scored:
Heart of Midlothian : 1064 Goals
Wee Team: 892
Interestingly Hearts have won more derbies on Hibs ground than Hibernian have.
Also interestingly, Heart of Midlothian have won more derbies on the Hearts ground than Hibs have. Good innit?
I could go on, but I leave you with the table instead.
1 | Rangers | 5 | 9 | 13 | ||||||||||
2 | Motherwell | 6 | 4 | 13 | ||||||||||
3 | Celtic | 5 | 8 | 12 | ||||||||||
4 | Hearts | 6 | 3 | 8 | ||||||||||
5 | Dunfermline | 5 | 0 | 8 | ||||||||||
6 | St Mirren | 6 | -1 | 8 | ||||||||||
7 | Kilmarnock | 5 | 2 | 6 | ||||||||||
8 | Dundee Utd | 6 | -4 | 6 | ||||||||||
9 | St Johnstone | 5 | -2 | 5 | ||||||||||
10 | Inverness CT | 6 | -6 | 4 | ||||||||||
11 | Aberdeen | 6 | -6 | 4 | ||||||||||
12 | Hibernian | 5 | -7 | 3 |
The Future is bright, the future is maroooooooooooooooooooon!
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