The post thudded onto the dingy mat late this morning. I raced downstairs to collect whatever vitaly important epistles were awaiting me. Instead there was a single plastic bag containing a magazine, or so I thought. Upstairs in my high quality shanty I opened the plastic, piled it onto the recycle pile and began to sort the mass of adverts accompanying the magazine.
All wanted money.
Most were charities.
All get dumped.
"Do I think Leprosy is a thing of the past?" No! It is regretable, recycled.
'Dignity in Dying.' 'Please donate so we can arrange to remove that aged relative from you. They will be pleased, their pain ended, their cash in your account. We supply our own pillows.'
'Royal Hospital for Neuro-Disability.' "Please support..." If you are a 'Royal Hospital,' can I suggest you ask Her Majesty to stick her hand in her fat purse and provide a few million to keep her citizens well looked after? She can take it from one of her slobby sons.
"Doctors Without Borders." Indeed a trusted, well respected charity. The middle classes can pay.
'Womankind Worldwide.' Again, ask the women middle classes that are always shouting about what they want to decide to make a donation!
'Emmaus UK.' Too late, I help my friend who works amongst such homeless.
'Rotary International.' Ask your friend of business, Rees-Mogg for help.
All these in one mag? How much do they think people can afford? Seven charitable adverts, though 'Dignity' is no charity, and how can anyone caring enough to care choose which to help? I am more choosy where I put money these days, and would check out each one, especially the 'Royal Hospital,' with no Royal cash.
However, it does not stop there, I am offered "One of the best hearing aids in the world." Very tempted as my hearing has endured too much AC/DC for its own good. However, with gay abandon it goes on the recycle pile also.
"The Lady." Not sure this is aimed at myself.
Also a Private Health plan is offered. Not suitable for one who worked in the NHS when it was a proper NHS! It still continues.
A thin glossy magazine falls out offering a huge range of expensive but Historical items. "Museum Selection." Expensive tat with a Historical edge. Binned.
'PostScript,' The thinner still glossy magazine offering second-hand books at cheap (they say) prices.
By the time I have sorted out the charity drops, the sales bumf and scanned the two skinny selling magazines I have no time to read the actual Magazine! Ah well, it sits in the loo usually anyway. I will get round to it soon.
OOPS! I almost forgot, an offer for a cheap magazine "The Week." Which, if memory serves me right, and I may be wrong here, is a right-wing mag which offers independent and unbiased information.
Hmmm...
3 comments:
This sort of bumf used to turn up with mother's magazines...a pile of stuff to junk and a slim magazine usually well filled with adverts itself.
She put her money into a couple of local things where she knew it would not be blown on hefty salaries and damn fool advertising campaigns.
I sm getting hard of hearing....I fancy an ear trumpet...'one toot and ye're oot' as the old meenister jokes used to say...
I feel for the Posties who have to deliver junk mail.
Fly, An ear trumpet, I wonder if the museum has one I can borrow?
Dave, We used to deliver three a week. Small leaflets are OK, but sometimes info, often near like a magazine, would appear. This doubled your load. Of course you did not take them all at the same time. We were told Italian posties delievr 18 a week!!!
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