B&Q For the Loo.

Cleaning the loo is one of the joys in life is it not?  No it isn't!  Just a routine job that is required when the grime begins to block the plughole.  While I was scraping away at this I also got the seal gun out and filled one or two gaps, realising the stuff I used last time was not much good and it all requires complete overhaul...tomorrow.  Then the loo seat, reasonably new, fell apart!  That is the reward from buying from cheap shops that stock Chinese made goods.  Looks good but the meta bits are cheap and worthless.  They are also all over the floor.  
So off I trot to the free bus heading for B&Q.  As I hobbled up to the bus the driver helpfully closed the door, a quick tap and a grumpy reopening and we were on our way.  The drivers of the free bus are usually cheery souls happily chatting up the mums and getting nowhere.  I was of the impression that the last person to chat this chap up was his Probation Officer while on Pentonville.  It was clear from his driving style that he may not actually possess a driving licence, possibly 'Arriva' ought to be told.  
A long walk across a car park followed.  Nothing helpful for those with no cars in this pace, it is made for the mobile shopper, not the one of the free bus.  In the far corner, having evaded several drivers who pull out without looking, drive while seeking their seat belts and wander across the while lines helpfully drawn all over the car park I made it to B&Q.
Where do I go?  Follow the signs.  There is no suitable sign.  Wallpaper, Paint, Garden, Electrics, and eventually, in the far distance, Plumbing.  However, what I wanted was not there.  On my journey I passed two miserable members of staff, I remembered the online questionnaire for job seekers this company used.  How did so many miserable, grumpy people get through that while I, happy, smiling, lying in my teeth, did not?  Maybe it's changed, maybe they now employ anyone from the job centre for a trial.  These two would be found guilty, and they did not even speak!  I deferred asking as I reckoned this would waste time.  Aches told me to hurry and in the last place I looked I found what I was searching for.  I hurried to the checkout, while many were using the M&S Food Store the shopping was very quiet for a Friday, Chinese Flu limiting the numbers again, and few were at the checkout.  One woman was in front of me, unable to understand the straight forward instructions regarding where items were placed.  This conversation involved lots of looking into the far distance and very little 'getting on with it!'  Eventually the also grumpy cashier took my cash, failed to smile, and I headed for the grumpy free bus driver again.

Possibly the driver recognised me even though he failed to recognise many of the rules of the road on the way along the five minute journey.  In the distance I am convinced he saw me, judged I would take ages to hobble to him, closed the doors and ran.  I wandered around the shops in the sunshine but hiding from the chilly west wind behind a wide variety of overpriced outlets.  While the car parks were busy the people were not to be found here, where were they?  They cannot all be in M&S Food Store?  
Eventually grumpy returned, I clambered aboard, took a seat at the back and watched as we drove stutteringly back to base.  We all said 'Thanks' as we got off, normal practice in these parts, but this time we were just thankful to get off.
From a standing start this morning I intended to have a clean house by now.  Instead I have several items to fix in the loo, seal to redo, "Can this wait?"  Then those other jobs require attention.  Trying to lever open the painted window that appears stuck may be one of them.  
Can't I just read my books instead...?