Idiot of the Week No 104.

Being an idiot is easy.

I have, unlike some, never required to take lessons on such a subject.  Indeed, many have claimed I could make a fortune by teaching ‘Idiocy’ to the masses.  Adding only that if anyone came to such teaching then those individuals would already have qualified in ‘Idiocy’ anyway. 

That made me think.

Now I have not reached the level of the American couple who asked me the way to Princes Street in Edinburgh many years ago.  I pointed to my feet and said, “You are standing on it.”

They were indeed, outside ‘Binns’ as was and at the beginning of the most famous street in the world.  To be extra helpful I indicated the castle, soaring high above, and avoided any remarks that may offend.  I got no tip.

Stupidity has been a hallmark of my life. 

In the museum I made it to the kitchen early on, filled the kettle, placed cups etc in position awaiting my friend and colleague as she arrived, returned to my position and opened the doors. 

Shortly afterwards the cleaners, making their way home, came past laughing and pointing at me.

It appears that I had left the kettle lid ‘up.’  This meant the kettle boiled and did not switch off.  The small kitchen was saturated in moisture as a result.  Words were exchanged by the non-tea or coffee drinkers as to one individual’s mental health.

The other day I accidentally bought a book through Amazon.

I tracked my package through the system, happily noting the imminent arrival this morning.  Just after 12:30 I raced downstairs slowly and retrieved my package as it hung through the letterbox.  Our front door is upside down!  This means the letterbox is quite high and wee Sue struggles to reach it.   I obtained my package, but once again the Wednesday delivery of ‘Private Eye’ failed, and hastened upstairs to rip open and read.

As I did so I realised I had read one book about Clement Attlee, and this book was about him, some time before.  I had checked my shelves and had no such book but it was in my mind.  I looked at the cover, the drawing of the greatest ever Labour leader reflected his quiet but efficient manner.  How I wished one such as he was around today.

I then thought the book looked familiar and once again checking the shelves I found that my idiocy had worked a treat!  Yes indeed, that very book I had in my hands was already on the shelf exactly where it ought to be!  Not only that the first copy I reckon was bought on the cheap, this one full price.  

I might not bother getting out of bed tomorrow…