AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrggghhhh!

There is NO football on the telly tonight! Because the majority of Euro 2008 has taken place and we await the last three games there will be nothing to watch now. I expect to be seeing spiders crawling up the wall by 8:30 tonight.

Even worse! Not only is there no football and the TV companies are returning to their usual diet of mindless drivel and unspeakable 'pap' but the BBC have now added Wimbledon to the list! Tennis! Yes Tennis! That middle class lawn game that was surely only invented to make Basketball look interesting? It failed there also didn't it! Why oh why with all the resources available to them do the BBC let the football go to ITV and Sky yet insist on spending our money on two weeks of monotony?

I'll tell you why, women! In spite of the feminist lies that fill the world today the fact is women are not naturally team motivated. While men will join with folk known and unknown and support a football or other team through thick and thin (mostly thin down Gorgie way) women tend to go for the one to one option. This is why activities (I cannot call this 'sport') is such a big draw for the girls. Of course they are lusting uncontrollably after some swarthy, tanned, French, Romanian, Australian or Yank nancy boy as they rush about the court swearing at the umpire and acting like the spoilt brats they are, but they are attracted by the single opponent idea. This is also why so many women spoil acres of really good country by insisting on playing Golf there. Would they be so happy to just walk around the woods like men do, and I have noticed some funny men walking around the woods in my time I can tell you, or do they really have the need to hit a wee ball into a far of hole?

You see it is true that while men gather at a football match, a proper sport, they together support 'our' team. Women at football, rugby or whatever, if not there just to pick up a man as most of the young ones are, support 'their baby.' A far more insular thing. They do have a liking for cricket because while this game is a 'team' game it is in reality just between two men. The bowler, the one who throws the ball, and the batsman, the one who tries to hit it with a big stick. So while eleven run about the pitch most in fact do nothing whatsoever. This makes it a great pastime for those who wish to keep themselves in a state of fitness well into their fifties and beyond.

Of course as Tennis is so female dominated, the women play less games than the men and yet get paid the same amount of cash. How sexist is this? As they play less games they can also add to this the doubles and mixed doubles which men at the top cannot find time or energy for. The top lassies therefore take far more money for far less effort from the tournament than the best men can possibly do. Blatant sexism but for crying out loud do not point out facts to these whining self seeking bitches, in this fascist world facts are not wanted, just 'chip on the shoulder' emotion. Being female dominated also means that the Beeb must hold onto it or the women who run the Corporation will stamp their foot and go blue in their faces. They will also talk for hours about such crime, and who would want to endure that? Not those who should no better at the multi national (yet will not give Scotland it's due respect) BBC.

Two whole weeks of this. Grunting and sweating and middle class anxiety over who will win, and why has Britain (meaning England) not produced a winner since Fred Perry the shirt maker? Who cares really? Roll on the football season.