What is This?

This Coat of Arms adorns the front of the Court House.  Erected in the fourteen hundreds in the early market, two more embellishments are found on the rear of the building.  Some say this was Cromwell's Court House, but I have yet to investigate.  Interesting however.

This one on the rear looks more royal, but what is the other found on the edge of the wall?

I expect answers!

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Hard Research

I enjoy this research into things.  had I not been so inept I would enjoy it more by discovering relevant info on what I am studying.  The building shown for instance, this began way back in the 
Tudor days of the 16th century.  It is possible this was amended in the 1700's by one Benjamin Allen.  He obtained the house when he took over the doctors practice from the late Dr Draper, although he may not have moved in until he married Drapers daughter.  Whether this was a condition of the practice is not known.  Each century leads to alterations with such houses and this was no exception.  The shop was pictured in 1900, at a time when cycling was popular, with those who could afford a bike.  The front has been amended again and the building now houses the 'Constitutional Club, a Conservative Party club.  From the rear it is possible, just to see the ancient timber frame plastered original design.

My problem has been the lack of time.  To search the web, scrabble for tiny fragments of information takes for ever.  The sad fact is not enough real info is at hand.  It requires sensible searching in proper places.  Still I will see what I can do and we will attempt to make something for the museum to stimulate interest in these ancient buildings.  Most by the way began with timber frames as this area has no stone as such.  Trees abounded so timber frames and weatherboarding is noted everywhere.  The growing wealth of individuals and the town in general brought alterations constantly to these buildings. I wish they would improve the windows on mine!

The top picture originates with this postcard that I have come across occasionally on the web.  About 1900 according to the dress sense, the stall and the horse dropping in the middle of the road.  The buildings housing the Constitutional Club at that time have been replaced with late 1950's austerity brick and modern shop fronts.  One gas lamp outside the club lights the street here!  Possibly shop lights would help, shops may have closed later then, and most folks knew the way home.  I must collect at least a dozen if not more, decent blurbs on these premises.

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Lazy Friday Blog

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A Weather Miracle!

This stuff almost all day!

This means rain tomorrow!

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Do 'Pope' and 'Snow,' go together?

Yahoo News

So the new pope has been elected by the cardinals.  Much celebrating by millions in Vatican City and watching on TV.  Much spluttering and growling by Richard Dawkins and his acolytes, and even more by those of the 'Reformed' faith of course.  One point two billion people call themselves Roman Catholic, I wonder how many actually live that out?  The 'Evangelical Church,' split into many denominations, has struggled to follow the true path as it can be very hard, as well as glorious, at times.  Will this Pope Francis 1 make any difference to Christ's work on earth, or will he hinder it by RC theology and church rule?  If he removes the many kiddy-fiddlers and gayboys from their roles in the organisation he will have made one change to the image if nothing else, and as a Jesuit you would expect a strict approach from him.  However will he turn the church back to God via the bible?  Will he ignore the Reformation once again and stick to erroneous beliefs?  Understanding the word of God is the most important thing he or any of us can do.  A lack of such understanding leads to a missing of the great adventure.  What however is certain is that the powers that be in the Vatican itself will be very hard for any man to sort out, John Paul II couldn't do it, I doubt this man will.

Typically I got caught out today.  I spent most of the day on museum research, slow and getting nowhere, and avoided the great hailstorm that arrived after lunch.  However I was fooled by the bright sun, the blue sky and the appearance of sunshine not long afterwards.  I raced for the door!  Out I went into the chilly air, sun shining, dogs smiling, people hurrying past from the market, streets a bit damp from the hail.  I checked prices, kept my hands on my wallet, and as I made for home the snow started!  Large lumps of it falling quickly and all it appears headed in my direction.  The pictures do not offer the reality of the torrent of snow aiming for me.   I'm staying in tomorrow!  bah!

It's sno fair so it is....

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Troll Squashed

The boxer Curtis Woodhouse lost his title fight on points to Shane Singleton the other night.  This caused some boxing fans to deride his achievements.  Social network sites are ideal for informing sporting failures of your knowledgeable opinion and one lad, who goes by the name 'Jimmyob88' made clear his derision to Mr Woodhouse on his Twitter feed.
Jimmy said the boxer should "retire immediately cant even defend a pathetic little title you are a complete disgrace," and informed him "Whats funny u put so much effort in sacrificed all that time and failed to defend your mickey mouse title."  
The problem with this is that not only can the sporting chap read your comments, he can also be a 'distressed' boxer, and a wee bit sore at losing his title.  Boxers, as you may be aware, are trained to fight.  A boxer training for a fight, even at 'light-welterweight' weight, can be a muscular and dangerous opponent for a couch potato type of social network user.  
Mr Woodhouse knew this.
Mr Woodhouse was indeed peeved.
Mr Woodhouse turned up on Jimmyob88's doorstep!

Having some 20,000, and now growing, followers on 'Twitter,' the boxer offered £1000 for Jimmy's address.  The street soon followed!  He posted a picture of the street name and informed his followers he was there, and asked for the house number, offering to knock on every door to find the right one.

Almost immediately Jimmy gave himself up!
The troll said he was "only joking about."
"I am sorry it's getting abit out of hand. i am in the wrong. i accept that."

Curtis then drove home, telling folks it was all a bit daft and saying he could have saved petrol money by blocking the man.  Still he found great support, boxer Lennox Lewis, footballer Joey Barton and Lord John Prescott himself all offered their congratulations. 

Anyone wish to argue with Curtis?

Guardian story with Twitter comments

It's Spring Again!

Bah!

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He He He!

The day was taken up with football.  The Edinburgh derby saw Hibernian struggle once again against a Heart of Midlothian side, a side so full of young players it was almost the Under 20's!  The Hearts played the better of what football was on offer yet failed to get the ball past the lucky Hibs goalie.  Lee Griffiths, as clear a product of Leith that you will ever come across, did manage to put the ball past Jamie MacDonald in the Hearts goal.  It gives me tears as I tell you the Russian linesman at the side did not notice the ball had crossed the line, by a yard!  Not for nothing do Scottish officials find themselves sponsored by 'Specsavers!'  I am myself not in favour of 'goalline technology' as the game has managed fine, bar the English cheating in '66, without it until now.  Better placed courageous officials are all that is required.  Still, looking at the reactions of the Hibernian faithful I must say, it's a giggle, innit? 

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Busy Day

I did spend two hours with the museum this morning.  Discovered that a school is sending the kids in to discover the town's history and am now working on a handout for them.  This is difficult as some areas we are very poor on, Tudors and Medieval for a start.  The Victorian times we do well.  
After this I spent an enjoyable time watching Wigan hammer Everton,  later enjoyed thoroughly Ross County defeating Celtic and then returned to searching for Victorian school buildings still in use as schools.  I have about eight different items to play around with, I wonder if I can do this? Don't know, but it's fun!

 
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Busy Indoors

Having been given my instructions by Deadly Deke at the museum I found great encouragement to research as the rain laden mist sits upon the town throughout the day.  Foolishly I ventured out in search of information during a dry spell, returning home as it ended, upon me!  

The present idea was to collect info regarding the towns buildings, many dating back to the 1400's, the old railway line, and other details of interest.  I have begun to sort out what little I have discovered and now have plenty to keep me from wearying, if I can work out what to do that is!

An interesting item appeared this morning in the 'Daily Mail.'  After Hague's warning yesterday re chemical weapons a story appears in the Conservatives favourite paper telling of children burned by chemical weapons!  The commentators to a man cried 'WMD!'  The nation is cynical to say the least re this governments words on Syria.  This item has now been replaced by one showing  drawings from children in Syria.  Not surprisingly these are dominated by the war.
This war is a complicated one, our part is not as clear as we are being told.

  
This delicate ironwork stands above a shop in the High Street.  Not sure if it would stop an individual falling out of the window but I suspect it has been there for many years.  I am not sure what the letters are, 'H,' certainly and 'W,' but not to clear if that is an '&,' or an 'S,' also.  My eyes are wearying with looking at such as this today.  When the rain goes off, about Thursday I may go out.  Hold on!  I am at the museum tomorrow!  Oh dear, where's the wellies?  

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William Hague and Syria

WMD 2 is now underway.
Yesterday Her Majesties noble Foreign Secretary William Vague Hague informed the House that owing to the 'Humanitarian Situation' regarding Syria, action had to be taken urgently to stop the suffering caused by the Assad regime. The regime which we are being constantly told 'is crumbling and about to fall!'  The regime appears to be still there and still strong.  However Assad and his opponents, and certainly the mass of the population, are sick of the fighting and destruction which has now reached a stalemate.  It appears both may be willing to make some sort of peace agreement, and the west cannot allow this.  Franklin Lamb makes some cogent points, points rarely heard in our media!

This may well be the reason John Kerry, Hague's new imperialist friend from the US, raced to meet European leaders last week.  If the powers that be wish to attack Iran through Syria the last thing they wish to see is a floundering of the rebels attacking might.  The use by William Hague of the 'humanitarian' reasons makes good copy for the propaganda offered to the media.  Interestingly only the 'Online Daily Mail' mentioned the story, and that low down the page (and then most commentators objected strongly to our involvement) The 'Telegraph' appeared to ignore it but the 'Guardian' always supports humanitarian aid so was glad about that at least.  Chemical weapons may be used says Hague, but no evidence of this is offered.  Indeed the last time chemical weapons were mentioned cries of 'WMD' were heard in the land and the claim was dropped.  Syria does indeed possess this material, no evidence can be found of any threat to use it however, none whatsoever.  The suitable aid we are giving to help end the killing includes 'non lethal equipment,' such as armoured vehicles, body armour, and equipment to test for chemical weapons.  That will aid an end to the fighting!  In slight acceptance of the murderous behaviour of the 'good guys' who we support, 'Human Rights training' is being given to their killers.  This I remind you is the middle east where killing each other in the cruelest possible manner has been a local sport for millenia!

No aid is mentioned for refugees as this has already been given, and will continue as before.  No-one can complain about that, however the refugees are not the reason for the intervention, that is Iran!  The claim that Iran is supporting Syria may well be correct, the Saudis being the paymaster for the Wahabee and other Islamist fighting groups (Bin Laden was of course a Wahabee) is not mentioned.  Several Gulf States, supplied by the UK, US and other European nations with expensive weapons, are also aiding the rebels out of fear of Iran, rarely do we hear about that also, I wonder why?  

In short daft Dave is acting as 'Tony Blair 2' and encouraging an escalation of fighting in the region for the sake of his friends in Washington.  Obama does not wish to be involved and sensibly he wants out of Afghanistan in a hurry.  Dave however appears keen to be seen as a 'warrior PM' as he believes this wins him votes!  Has he learned nothing from Iraq?  Anything that Blair did that worked was forgotten once he embarked on Bush's folly.  The reasons for that war are still unclear, apart from Israels fear of Saddam and the great quantities of oil!  Iran, being Persian and not Arab, and claiming to be a proud nation that goes all the way back to Cyrus the Great, offer a threat to the region, especially when soon they will possess a nuclear weapon.  The nations to whom we sell huge quantities of aircraft, guns, crowd control material, tear gas, etc, treat their people as badly as Syria and Iran have done.   Both Iran and Syria often treated their people better!  Women were free to learn and develop in both nations, only recently has this been limited, but not stopped, in Iran.  

With the UK reducing the armed forces to its lowest level ever, some 82,000 men I believe, austerity hitting everyone, bar the cabinet and their friends, and the nation objecting strongly to our participation in Afghanistan there can be no doubt this government has decided to involve us in military action in Syria!  The reasons given are feeble, the truth kept hidden.  There can be however no doubt that using Syria to unsettle Iran is the reason behind the thousand of refugees.  The governing forces can sleep easy at night however, those in tents in the Jordanian desert and the bodies lying in the streets are Arabs, not local voters! 

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Tuesday Titter

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6:30am Bike Ride

What a wonderful sight to see, blue sky and sunshine early in the morning!  The fact that my fingers froze so I could hardly hold the camera is of secondary concern.  The freezing mist dwelt in the folds of the hills as the sun sprung up.  The colour was a deep red but sadly my pictures cannot show just how red it was.  A bright scarlet ball rising above the trees and slowly evaporating the mists.  Being early few were about, and that is an advantage.  One or two walking dogs, who care nothing about the weather it appears, one or two grudgingly heading for work.  This early often allows folks to mutter "Morning" as they pass, although there is always a woman, with a big dog, who looks away, nose in the air, as you pass.  Does she know me....?

It is so good to be out on the bike again.  My bones are creaking like an aged barn in a gale but  being out in a part of the country does you good.  The birds flit through the trees, pairing up and preparing the nests for the soon to be new arrivals, rabbits dodge the bike, but not the farmer in the distance with his gun I noticed, and another sign Spring is close, fields are blocked of to stop gypsies arriving.  Breathe deeply the fresh morning air, change your mind when it freezes the throat, cough all the way back down the track.  Back by half past seven for fried egg sandwich  breakfast and slowly stiffening muscles.  I use the term 'muscles' in the widest possible term here.

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Old Hooses

It is regrettable that these two houses stand on the corner of a main road, and one just up from the traffic lights at that.  This means constant traffic, some heavy, for most of the day.  This is not how it was when they were constructed sometime in the 1600's.  These fine houses must contain some stories considering how many folk have passed through those doors during that time.  Some amongst them have altered the windows in the late 1700s or early 1800's, I suspect previous windows were considerably smaller.  The majority would no doubt have been employed in some kind of agricultural work, the towns importance as a market town still gives us a market twice a week, although cattle and pigs no longer walk up the High Street.  Many however were involved in trade, manufacturing or the like.  Shops did good business, pubs abounded, lawyers ensured they got paid and a variety of churches were in operation.  I would have thought that at the turn of the 18th and 19th centuries the owner would have been some sort of merchant, and keen to show of his wealth.  Certainly the windows were installed then and some think the front was renovated also. The gable dormers were added to the roof in the 19th century to enhance the building in keeping with the 'Flanders' like influence found elsewhere in the town.  I wonder what his prices were like?   Certainly behind the house on the left of the picture stands a long weatherboard outbuilding used at one time for trade.  Now it appears to have been turned into some sort of lodging.

The Sky TV aerials appear to be of a later vintage than the rest of the building, possibly 20th century according to the stour on them!  The aerials also indicate just how many flats these once proud homes now contain.

  

A very Georgian like door, possibly dating from the origin of the house or maybe added during the alterations.  The glass looks what you might expect from a Victorian door.  I have been wrong before of course, as someone is always willing to remind me.

I do like a nice letterbox but this one has been blocked by a nameplate!  A minute letterbox has been inserted above this, Tsk!  Not quite sure of the name, although there were a couple of Fitches elsewhere in the town in the 19th century.   

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Surfing USA?

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Life is Cheap

It was a car accident that got me thinking.  The driver's Mercedes had been doing 56 Miles per hour in a 30 mph area when he ran into a Nissan coming the other way, a closing speed of about 85 mph when they collided.  The man and woman in the front of the Nissan died, the two children in the rear survived, although hurt.  In court a clearly remorseful young man was sent to prison for 16 months.
Near Edinburgh a few days a go a court tried a young woman.  Whilst drinking she heard her boy on the phone to another lass.  She went to the kitchen, took a knife and stabbed him in the chest and he died.  Remorseful somewhat the jury decided she was guilty not of murder but of manslaughter and she was jailed for ten years.
I could go on.  A driver high on drink or drugs crashes his Mercedes into another killing the driver.  he runs away, a serious crime in the UK.  He is given six years imprisonment.  A car knocks a cyclist of his bike whence the rider dies, the driver is merely banned from driving for several months.
Daily we read such stories in the media, usually emphasised by the tabloids.  Life it appears is cheap in this country, death means little.  I understand that a judge is limited in his sentencing by the law under which the individual is charged, manslaughter is often preferred by the prosecution as there is more chance of a guilty plea, dangerous driving is harder to prove than reckless and so on.  The end result is that life means little in a court and I wonder if the legal people really care?

A family loses a breadwinner, a mother struggling on benefits to provide for her child sees the man who caused her husbands death running around a football field earning several thousand a week, dancing when he scores, and she has not enough to pay the gas bill.  A child wonders what life would be like with a parent, another what life would be like with a child.  Both suffer from bad drivers or a moments anger.  The man who got 16 months may be released on 'good behaviour' in 8 months, meaning a life is worth four months imprisonment.  This man will always feel his guilt, but even so.  Given six years and returned to football's wealth and glory in three years appears to insult a widow.  Too many walk the streets knowing they have killed.  Many carry the weight for ever, but does society react correctly to such incidents?

'In wrath remember mercy,' and courts must do this, however they must also remember the victim, I doubt they do.  Sentencing appears based on the over crowded prisons, caring for criminals, restoring them to society rather than caring for victims or punishment.  Punishment you see has been removed from the legal system.  Punishment has been outlawed by the liberal approach.  Children are not slapped lovingly when doing wrong, so they do it again.  Anyone who demands a child behaves is seen as a criminal today, and this is a clear turning of black into white!

British society appear callous today.  During the twentieth century we endured a war that cost 750,000 men and as many more during the following twenty years.  A flu pandemic took almost as many again and a second was saw less die here but fifty million or so worldwide.  Yet the attitude of the people was less violent than today.  War hardens people.  P.G. Wodhouse found his type of book less popular after the war, thrillers were what was wanted. Laurel & Hardy found their humour less attractive than Abbott & Castello, the faster moving action packed book and act touched something in the people.  Men who returned from war wanted action and sports of all kind found higher attendances at that time than any since.  However criminals existed but the level of violence was considerably less than today.

This country has suffered under a liberal outpouring, as I think often occurs when wealth and peace dominate.  The need for basic homes and health has been satisfied so we allow ourselves liberalism in other things to fill the day and please our senses.  Humanity suffers.  In our hospitals the old are pushed aside and left to die by order of the doctors!  Unbelievable a few years ago, not so now.  Maybe 'degree level' nurses find washing patients beneath them I wonder?  It would not have happened in the hospitals I worked in.  We have, since 1967, murdered seven million babies under the 'woman's right' to abortion. 

No woman has the right to kill her child, no woman!  

Half of those of course would be female, maybe that doesn't matter? Child has a 'hair lip,' bump it off.  Baby interfering with your career, kill it!  Widespread availability of contraception does not justify a holocaust of children.  Women suffer we are told, although they were not the one thrown into an incinerator.  Of course they suffer, and of course we understand , we also know this is wrong and so do the women.

But society cares little, until something like this happens to them. Then there will be no-one to care, just desolation.




I have just read that a couple who battered a property developer to death have received a life sentence for the murder.  She has a 25 year minimum, he 18 years.  Surely this is the minimum in such a situation.  Both will be in their fifties when released, and very different people I suspect. 
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Muddle

Today the Heart of Midlothian parted company with another manager.  I find this one rather sad.  John McGlynn was a decent Heart of Midlothian man who cared for the club and did his best in difficult times.  His common complaint that he had lost several major players through transfer and injury was indeed correct.  Many of the young players he was encouraged to play had been through his hands in times past when he was a youth coach.  Instead of seeing them reach the heights he instead sees a bleak future as one of the unemployed.  For myself I always considered John more as a coach than a manager, an assistant manager rather than the man in the media spotlight.  The pressure of managing a club of the size of the Heart of Midlothian is great, as indeed is the fans expectation.  Both told on him as the season continued.  His tactical knowledge was less than that required and it is clear no Heart of Midlothian side ought to be playing one up front, especially at home.  The Heart of Midlothian must always make attack the policy, as full bloodied as possible and according to the resources available.  Sadly for John his ideas fell flat and the feeble effort against St Mirren on Tuesday night spelt the end for this decent man.  Those who take over have a difficult job to do however the change will actually encourage some players and hope of success still beats.  We have a cup final to look forward to, and I expect us to win it!

  

Today also saw the publishing of Lord Nimmo-Smith's report into Rangers use or misuse of what are called 'EBT's' in paying their players.  For some these are legal, for other a tax dodge, regarding the Scottish Football Association (SFA) these must be declared to them before they begin.  Whether legal or not was not the question, the question was did Rangers under David Murray hide such payments and gain advantage.

The report decides no advantage was gained, but these were hidden and fines a club that has gone into liquidation the sum of £25,000 that cannot ever be recovered.  In short a whitewash of the SFA favourites!  Once again Rangers under Murray have moved the goalposts and got off with it!  Once again the Scottish establishment have come down on the side of their team!  How anyone can believe that giving hidden payments, therefore encouraging the buying of better players, does not lead to gaining advantage is hard to understand!  Of course they had an advantage, of course the titles and cups are tarnished, of course the fine is inadequate!  

Muddle?  No, deliberate moving of goalposts to aid the team that matters.  I am left wondering what political pressure (read that phrase any way you like) has been exerted and where?  If only I supported Celtic, I could see conspiracy and back room dealings being done here among the rich and famous.  However I will not do that.  Scottish football however has been stabbed in the back once again! 

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A Walk in the Sunshine

Wigan

The bright and almost warm sunshine this afternoon reminded me of my time as a postman walking the streets in summer, on a bike!  Always the bets way to walk the streets.  At that time the daft new rules had been brought in, the Union rolling over and submitting to the bosses in their usual manner, rules that changed this pleasant but hard job into a hard and unpleasant routine for many.
Delivering early in the sun is great.  The cats all greet you, imagining you will open the door and feed them, instead you speak to them, post the mail and turn away.  The cats then possess an expression that would make Maggie Thatcher tremble!  At some times of the year the bushes in the gardens would be covered in what looks like thin white silk.  This turns out to be spiders webs about a foot or so across, often a dozen or more on a bush.  The morning dew added a glint in the sun to these, although difficult to photograph properly I find.  The dew on lavender plants heightening the fragrance as you brush past the stalks leaning over the pathways.  Lavender is a common plant in this area, the long purple rows can be seen on many farms. The scent wafted around as I passed but the cats did not appear to care.

In those days I often met with mothers taking the brats to school.  On on occasion I rang the bell just as mum was yelling "Get down here this minute! I said NOW! not tomorrow!"  She opened the bell somewhat sheepishly realising I must have overheard.  "Don't worry lass," Says I, "Every other house down the road is doing exactly the same."  Indeed they were.  The house where a child, or children, trotted cheerfully and quickly off to school does not exist.  Some parents believe others have an easy time with their kids, they are wrong!  All children are brats!  As I returned from a house further along the family were now acting out 'happiness and obedience' in the same style all the other mums dragging their brood to primary school were.   Kids often look out for the postman.  On occasions wee George will be straining to see the postman, meaning the regular man will hesitate before moving on so as to wave to the boy.  This will continue for several days and suddenly stop.  Wee George has lost interest and possibly has another to wave to.   

Postmen of course do not deliver to you.  Postmen deliver to an address.  No 24 is what matters, not Mrs Smith.  Postmen sign the Secrets Act because the mail belongs to 'Her Majesty the English Queen,' although she never makes any attempt to deliver it herself.  So much for sex equality!  What is delivered is none of the postie's business, he just carries the stuff, and if he discovers what is being sent, from whom and to whom, he cannot pass on such information to anyone, even the police.  Any legitimate authority must go through the proper channels if required.  Naturally it is not difficult to guess what many people (called 'customers today') are receiving  however few will really care.  Nosiness has its limits, especially when there are several more sacks of mail to get through.  It is customary for postmen to act natural with 'customers' in spite of the sex machines, interesting pills, and other legal implements that show through badly packaged mail.  

People are strange.  Most I met around here were sensible enough, boringly normal for the most part, but occasionally something will arise.  One postman in Chelmsford was apparently met by a naked women (age not known) as he desired a signature for an item.  He was later informed by a policeman friend that he could have been done as a 'peeping tom' for that!  I doubt he would have been.  I might have waited until she signed and suggested "You'd better put some clothes on lass, they will think he wants you for your money!"
The nearest I got was a young lass in her underwear who possibly expected the parcel van driver. She certainly was disappointed to see me.  I managed not to suggest that a diet would help her love life.  But only just.  

Ah memories.  Memories are of course better than the pain in the knees, the weight of the mail, the unfortunate management, the rain, the hail, the snow and on occasion the sunshine.  One year some folks were claiming it was too hot!  Stupid men!  These were the ones who sit in a little van going around the villages.  In between stops for coffee from friendly farmers daughters and one or two wives, something we 'townies' never got, the sun shining through the windscreen must have made life difficult for them on their 300 drops.  I had 500 at least!!!  Bah!  Well it is a good job I was never one to complain, as there were reasons to.  Being a postman, on the good days, was once a very enjoyable job, and I had hoped to continue this until I retired.  Maybe of course the knee has saved me many troubles as I do not think I would enjoy the confused and overworked life such men endure today.  Yes I know what you are saying, women are postmen also.  However in those uniforms it was difficult to tell!

Old-Pictures

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Cats

On the first day of creation: God created The Cat.

On the second day: God created man to serve the cat.

On the third: God created all the animals of the earth to serve as potential food for the cat.

On the fourth day: God created honest toil so that man could labour for the good of the cat.

On the fifth: God created the sparkle ball so that the cat might or might not play with it.

On the sixth day: God created veterinary science to keep the cat healthy and the man broke.

On the seventh day: God tried to rest...........but he had to scoop the litter box .....

Discussing exam: 
"Jones, unlike Green, who had had 'had', had had 'had had.'
 'Had had' had had the approval of the examiners."

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Giggle

Jim asked his friend, Tony, whether he had bought his wife 

anything for Valentine's Day.

'Yes,' came the answer from Tony who was a bit of a chauvinist,

 'I've bought her a belt and a bag.'

'That's nice of you,' Jim added,

 'I hope she'll appreciate them.'

Tony smiled as he replied,

 'So do I, and hopefully the vacuum cleaner will work better now.'

My wife just called me.

She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received

 some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous."

I said, "That's probably why they've received flowers."

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