Wednesday 19 December 2012

UK Sunshine



The TV these days is stuffed full of adverts crammed with smiling people offering things we don't need.  Glitter abounds among the adverts, whitened teeth constantly flash, fat red clothed overpaid men insult the intelligence by playing Santa (Father Christmas to the middle classes) and amongst the gifts, false happiness,  bright lights, and girls giving the 'glad eye' to the producer of soap operas, we find snow!  Snow!  The horrible stuff that blocks the roads, stops the trains, grounds planes, destroys industry, kills and maims thousands, and NEVER FALLS AT CHRISTMAS!  The chances of snow in the UK at Christmas anywhere south of Aberdeen is  as likely as my Grandmother playing professional football.  And we all know she preferred rugby!  Our weather, and years of experience proves this, is yucky almost all the year round.  Some times the summer is long and hot, sometimes the winter is full of snow, but only every twenty years or so.  The adverts, made in May, are full of the stuff!  Shopping centres full of those false smiles are surrounded by snow, yet not one damp patch appears on screen!  Sleighs fly through clear skies over a snowbound world yet never at any time does that blasted sleigh run into dark brooding clouds.  Nor at any time do the reindeer smash head first into one of the passing 'Easyjet' flights heading for Christmas sunshine, with real sun, in the Med.  This I feel is something of a shame in my view.  Today the shops are full of miserable unsmiling folks fighting over mince pies, Christmas cake and Turkeys.  The gray sky darkens as evening approaches (roll on the 21st!) and my picture captures the sun almost at the zenith.  No snow, just mirk!  

Bah!

AND another thing, why are adverts for perfume so bloody awful?  Each one makes less sense than the one before.  Either a slapper rolling around as if on some drug, a bunch of 'yoof' dancing badly to aboriginal music, or a blue tinted one where some bint fancies a bloke posing at the microphones.  Poor lass, such men are usually queens dear.  Read the Sunday papers!  Why do these ads have to be so obscure?   Could it be they like the 'wrinkle cream' and 'face paint' ads which are banal and meaningless, appeal to women?  If so take the vote from them now!  The cost of each bottle of this pong is enormous.  Huge profits can be made by the producers.  Many years ago at work I used to see invoices from the producers of these substances, the price they charged was huge, add to this the companies profit margin and overheads and lassies pay enough to clear the Greek debt by the end of January!  Someone somewhere is making a lot of money out of little. 

Bah!    

.

6 comments:

Relax Max said...

"The chances of snow in the UK at Christmas anywhere south of Aberdeen is as likely as my Grandmother playing professional football."

What can I say? You're right. Especially since Aberdeen is in Maryland and your gran was a rugby player. Is there a secret message here? Surely not just another in a long line of weather posts? :)

You are a secret agent, and all these weather terms and temperatures are code for something much more sinister, I'll wager. Then, after the daily weather report, you speed shift right into perfume and pop the clutch. I think these things are not as harmless as you would have us believe. Any undercover agent need only read your blog and know where the mustard gas is hidden.

Seven. Twenty-one. Snow. Wind. Mint Cologne.

Are you still on holiday? Shall I keep commenting so you won't lose your three readers over the holidays?

Lee said...

Wow! Humbug! I think you need a bit of sunshine to brighten up your day..and outlook, Adullamite! ;)

Get with the spirit... a 31 year old Laphroaig might do the trick...or just a two-legged 31 year old! ;)

Adullamite said...

Max, Who is Mary Land, and why is she in Aberdeen?
How did you find out about the Mustard Gas? Can you explain 1409 ITsdP 3498 TRmXx >

Lee, Brighten, says a woman living under the sun!

Lee said...

I know...I'm an evil woman! ;)

A. said...

It's wall to wall perfume adverts at the moment and they get worse every year. My pet hate is the woman in the speedboat and half a dress. The men's ones are just as bad.

PS Ignore Max, he might go away.

Adullamite said...

Lee, I simply couldn't comment....

A, I've tried ignoring Max but.......