Good job I'm not one to complain. Sitting here as I do, with a pile of shredded Lottery tickets at my side, now reaching up to the top of the waste bin, and having so little excitement yesterday that just buying a large bag of tomatoes for a pound became a moment to cheer. Nothing else had happened, and it failed to happen all day. The cheering was not repeated today when I entered the dole office to sign on (yet) again and scrawl 'Scrounger' on the piece of paper thrust towards me. The discovery that a new lass was learning the job, a Pole, somewhat irked my constantly good natured persona. Now, thought I blearily, how come I am one struggling to find work, and failed to acquire a job in the dole office a while back through an administrative error, yet new people are appearing here on a regular basis and no jobs have been advertised? How come I am not doing that job? It was as I slunk out I began to rouse my rage and once again feel the world is against me. Did I not pass that test? Did I not succeed during the interview? Did I not get the letter informing me that I was 'On the waiting list?' Yet it collapsed because that form was missing through a blunder. Did I not try a second time when the interviews once more arose? Did I not make plans to attend the meeting in that absurd out of the way spot? Was it my fault that this was the day slimy Joe nicked all the copper wire from the signals and left me high and dry? There is no doubt that this is a Conservative/Lib-Dem plot to drive me barmy! It cannot be anything else!
Peeved I was when I returned to my slum (which was quite nice when I moved in, I wonder what happened?). I responded to this situation in a suitable manner I felt. I came home and fell asleep. I did however eat some tomatoes later in the day.
(Tomatoes, I will have you know, are pronounced 'Tomato' by the way, and not 'Tomato,' I don't want any needless arguments on that one!
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3 comments:
I would think that it would be illegal for you to be in possession of tomatoes--or any vegetable that would eventually become rotten and hurled with great abandon at targets of your choosing, for that matter. After all, how could you possibly look anyone in the eye and honestly say that you really do plan on eating them when throwing them at someone would be so much more satisfying unto you?
P.S.: The correct pronunciation is TOMATO!
You say tomato, I say tomato.
You say potato, I say ice cream.
That is not fair about some newcomer getting a job rightfully yours. But you don't really want to stand all day behind a counter.
You could come over here and be a genuine illegal alien, and then you would have the right to pick tomatoes.
Or Tomatoes.
At least you are both learning to speak properly now!
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