Men in Shorts

.

Saturday morning dawned slowly. The sky above was deep in gray cloud and a thin drizzle, driven by a somewhat chilly west wind, fell at an angle slowly drenching those brave enough to venture out. Periodically the drizzle hardened into rain, puddles began to appear in the usual places, pigeons sheltered under the leaves of the trees opposite, anxious to continue their breakfast, and a summer dampness hung in the air. 

After a sparse breakfast I headed out when I gauged the weather to have improved sufficiently to take the air. Crossing the park, passing the pigeons and blackbirds hungrily pulling worms from the earth, I pondered the weathers 'British' habit of clearing up sufficiently to allow the sun to poke through the clouds encouraging foolhardy people like me to venture out. My pondering began when on the other side of the park the light faded, the gray clouds loomed nearer, and that slight drizzle forced me to zip up the cheap tawdry jacket that will never be seen on  'Kimmy Style!' Wiping the soused spectacles with an even more soused finger, I blearily made my way round the houses. 

As I avoided  a woman using her umbrella in similar manner to the German Uhlans used their lances during the invasion of Belgium in 1914, although with less success than her, I was left pondering once again, but this time about men in shorts! The damp roads, the umbrellas, the sodden grass, the gray clouds above, and the wet stuff falling from the sky did not appear to have influenced an astounding variety of men in their choice of apparel! All around me I observed the men of the town, rising to collect the papers, or walk the dog or the girlfriend,  dressed in T-shirts and shorts! Peering through the rain running down my lenses I noticed the usual "My Friend went to London and all I got was this T-shirt" T-shirts. A few "Pink Floyd" T-shirts, worn by men older than me, and if not older certainly looking older, and even an occasional 'England' shirt, of indeterminate age, would appear. The thing was however, the shorts! Fine in your own house, great when camping or pretending you are Ray Mears existing on berries and squirrel, but here, in the rain? Certainly they were not all wearing shorts, many were damp three quarter leg trousers worn by men who clearly have lost all sense of reason. Maybe the trouser fairy came during the night or something I don't know?

Not let us reason here. Maybe it is my Edinburgh upbringing, maybe this is what folks do here in England, maybe it is just that they are all stupid, I am not sure which, but when the sun shines dress in shorts, preferably at home, or on the beach. I realise this happens every year, and I understand that the average  Englishman is not all that bright, however, when it is chilled drizzle, when the sky has a ten thousand feet thick gray cloud above you, when in short it is imitating winter, don't wear shorts and a T-shirt! 

I expect lots of 'man flu' to appear in a day or so.       

.