Funny Old World

"It's a funny old world," the man said, though actually he didn't, someone having put words into his mouth. Now imagine trying to do that to a woman? However the thought was right enough as this world can be very funny at times. Many tales are heard from the United States for instance of people suing successfully for injuries received by their action. Take the man who attempted suicide by jumping in front of a train. He failed to die, suffered horrendous injuries, sued the rail company and won millions! Or the woman who sued a burger joint because she slipped on coffee spilt on the floor. Coffee spilt by her badly behaved and uncontrolled child! It happens here also, a while back a burglar fell through a glass roof of the house he was attempting to enter illegally and successfully sued the householder for his many injuries. Legally then it is indeed a 'funny old world.' 


Meaningless thoughts like this often cross my mind as I wander around town looking for something to complain about. I often creep about the supermarket car park as there is always a vehicle to grumble at, badly parked, the driver maybe throwing rubbish out of the window, or just being the wrong colour. I hate that!  If it's just grumbling I wish to fill my time with then wandering into the supermarket itself does this easily enough. Here for instance is a trick all the shops use, an exclamation mark means 'LOOK HERE! THIS IS A BARGAIN' but in fact the price has actually increased and dafties like me come along and buy twice as many as we require. Shops own beans are another good example of the funny world of ours. These were selling happily at 9p until the recession hit. Up jumped the price to 29p and the supermarkets encouraged us to buy the 'Shops own' labels. This we all promptly began to do, convinced we were getting a bargain and shovelling large handfuls of cash into the directors coffers! No wonder their profits are greater than many countries Gross National Product!  Worse than banker these folk may be however they are not worse than the women who shop therein. If there is a child screaming somewhere it will be accompanied by a deaf mother. If there is a hold up at the checkout a woman will be slowly, ever so slowly, searching for her cash, which she will pay one coin at a time. If there is a clear aisle to be found one woman plus one trolley will shortly be filling it and making the whole place grind to a halt. Men of course do not act in this manner. Men always know what they want, obtain this quickly and leave in an orderly manner, unless of course they have retired and have all day to swan about in shops. Such men take all day, chatting to everyone, forgetting what they came in for, and indulging in hour long conversations with the bored lass at the checkout. Some shops have little cards advertising local businesses near the exits. It is quite fun to take one of the cards from a local funeral director and slip it into the pockets of these men, as a hint like. Consider this, they say there are more deaths caused by arguments in kitchens, because that is where the sharp stuff happens to be, but I suspect supermarkets may lead to more deaths than people expect. You will notice there are no sharp or heavy blunt items placed near the checkouts.


This years election has of course produced some funny goings on. The absurd TV debates brought the almost totally ignored Liberal-Democrat leader Nick Clegg to the fore. Sky News had demanded the 'Leaders Debate' because they realised David Cameron's personality would outshine the dour Scot Gordon Brown. This did not happen as Clegg outshone both and suddenly the Conservative victory disappeared from sight. That made me laugh anyway! Now that no single party obtained the right to govern we have a shambles. Political skulduggery, back scratching, threats and yet behind it all are three losers who are attempting to form a government! If that is not something funny I do not know what is! They should all be out on their ear. The 24 hour TV coverage has sapped my telly so much the thing no longer works, and I cannot blame it. While the story is important do we really need such over the top coverage on 24 hour News Channels? Does nothing else happen in this world?
Ha! After I mused on that the man Clegg has seen fit to put the man 'Dave' into a position of responsibility. David Cameron Prime Minister! Is he our version of Bush? The two 'toffs' have stitched this up as they are so eager to grab a piece of the action. While I understand this I wander how things will turn out. A poor election, a poor result, and a poor government in front of us, this all augurs badly for the immediate future. I have never known an election like this! 


This week will see along queue of desperate people lining up to obtain their Lotto tickets. The roll over on Wednesday is worth £10 million and that would pay even my credit card bill. On Friday the 'Euro' Lottery offers some £87 million as a prize. It is no wonder people buy the tickets. I watched a queue last week and was put off somewhat buy the desperation in the eyes. The idea that this money, only £57 million last Friday, would end all their problems is of course a dream, but still we try. Most would be happy with enough to pay all the debts, look after the family, and possibly to retire, buy the house or take that 'special' holiday. How many of us could really cope with so much money? Could we actually spend that much? I could, but only a small portion on myself. The things that could be done to improve life in a million small ways, the smiles that could be produced by careful use of the cash, and still plenty for the self, that most evil of all creatures. However money does not bring peace an security. Illness cares nought for cash, not does misfortune or Lady Luck. What we worship we become and so many spend so much time with money they only wish to have more. Millions are never enough. There is something missing within us when we are so desperate to win that Lottery. I know it every time I find myself day dreaming of what I could do with all that lucre. Hmm is that the time. Time I put my mince and tatties on to cook..... 


My luck with technology continues. As I mentioned in passing my TV has died. It was working perfectly well earlier but when I switched it on nothing happened, a little bit like opening my wallet these days. Naturally I changed the fuse, and then blew one myself as it made no difference. I suspect this state of affairs may continue for a while now. I could make an effort to search the web for info regarding fixing the brute but the last time I made to mend electrical equipment my then neighbours stood there making fire engine noises and that made me change my mind. Life without a TV, some folks could not exist this way. In 1978 I gave up the telly, and missed many programmes people told me were 'classics.' I did miss the football, and the news pictures, but my news came from the BBC World Service on the radio and I read lots of books, and of course worked shifts at the time and I did not return to TV possession until 1986. That of course was World Cup year and it was time for a change. The absence of the box sharpened my appreciation of the programmes offered and is one reason I despise almost all on offer today! Mind boggling 'pap' is the majority and until this years World Cup begins there will be little on view to change my opinion. It's a funny old world that changed in the early fifties when TV became available in almost every house. This screen educated, entertained, and brought a new world into many lives at that time. It was indeed an exciting adventure. However the face glued to the box killed some conversation and did it have a detrimental effect on family life? Not really sure if that is true, if not watching the box the family would be involved in their own affairs anyway, that is how it is.


Books however do change lives and in my view for the better! Standing in a bookshop some time back it crossed my mind just how useful, or destructive books can be. While they can entertain, educate and enthral it is possible for them also to fill the mind with propaganda of a vile sort. Books which aim at the lowest common denominator, in any subject, often sell more than books with a high ideal! Books, unlike a TV company, can cover any subject and reflect the life of the day in a way impossible for a programme that really has first of all to sell itself with reference to TV ratings before anything else. A book can be thrown aside and forgotten only to be picked up, possibly years later, and still change an individual and even the world! 
We learn through books, no school can do without them no matter how many PC screens are in the classroom, skills are developed by study of books on almost any subject under the sun, the world is explained by books, sometimes correctly, and also entertained in a way TV cannot accomplish.  God reveals himself through a book he has caused to be written, commuters ignore fellow travellers by hiding their face in a book, soaking up the sun on holiday the tourist occupies their mind through books, illness which brings limited movement is often eased by reading books. How can we live without them? I confess a bias as I read constantly, although not when walking down the road. At least not since the incident at the grocers. The bathroom contains several books that I am working through, according to my mood, the bedroom has many lined up there (Yes Mike two of yours are there) and around five hundred fill spaces here and there. The one thing I fear if I won large amounts of cash would be walking into a bookshop. This could be dangerous! 
Yet in my family few read much. An occasional paper, and a few 'coffee table' books can be found, but the TV and gossip supplies most of their needs it appears, and unlike me these folk are quite bright. One nephew has always got his face in books, and books I have no time for, novels! What a waste of time these are. Write a novel and it will be regarded as something of importance when in fact it is just a story, such books may as well begin, "Once upon a time..." It is funny how folks get so hot under the collar about their novels importance and the intellectuals demand such books are regarded, not  as stories but, 'novels,' something that changes the world. 
Sorry pal, they don't.