ITV Football Coverage

Now I am not one to complain. In fact when I hear people complaining it really gets on my goat so it does! So I always attempt to see things as they are and discern a positive note wherever possible. However, having been subject to four attempt by ITV to show live televised football I fear there are several points that require to be made.

For instance the titles at the beginning, what is that all about? Overlong, nonsensical, and grossly expensive. Half the length and we can do without at least one showing of those blasted Meercats! Then there are the 'boys in the studio.' Now one or two of them I can put up with, but on the whole these men are the ones the BBC would never look at. I mean Dennis Wise for instance? Good job it wasn't Newcastle who were playing! Not that there is much said as after every sentence we "Have a short break" which lasts four minutes, or is it hours! And the adverts, dearie me. Insurance ads aplenty, absurd meaningless car ads, and always, always a promotion for a rubbish ITV programme that is not fit for Broadmoor Mental Hospital, sorry, 'Secure Facility.' However the major point about watching live football on TV is to see live football. But what do we see? It cannot be described as live football as the camera spends half its time looking at the manager, two inches from his face usually, or at someone in the crowd, preferably female even if she is a dog, or their party piece - the back of a players head! What is the point of this? And don't get me started on 'action replays!' Well, yes let's get me started!.

A shot at goal, a cross near the goalie, a tackle, a wonder pass, all these require a replay, often several. Why? We see the man involved, usually from the back, the goalie, the replay, the man, the goalie and in so doing miss whatever is happening 'live' on this 'live' football match. Just show us the game and stop wasting time looking at the players! Who cares what they look like? Only their mothers and they should be in the kitchen anyway! Why watch the men, watch the game!!!! How many times have we been left wondering what happened while the director gives us the useless, slow motion, replay of a manager lifting his hands, slowly, in the air? Why? Indeed, why do we ever get to see the man's reaction at all? Any football fan knows what a manager, fan, or player is thinking, feeling or saying, why does it have to be shoved down our throat WHILE WE MISS THE ONGOING ACTION? Nobody wants to see things off the field, whether it is an injured player or a blonde fantisising about the unshaven full back, we want to see the bloody game!

Commentators, why do they go on about someone's career? You have never seen some of the small teams players before, you will never see them again. Do we need to know he learned his trade at Rochdale, shops in 'Morrisons,' and plays the guitar? NO! Just comment on the game in front of you! And remember the rule for TV commentating, 'less is more!'

Oh yes, and one other thing, Clive Tyldsley, SHUT UP, just SHUT UP!