Wednesday, 25 February 2009

Wednesday Fun

So I went driving, at 9 am this morning! An hour before I get up!

He has a sick sense of humour this man!

Anyway arriving back I came upstairs and gave thanks I was still alive.He informed me he does this every time he gets home, and now I understand why!

Behind me, slumped on the couch, Michael, my Guardian Angel, grasped a brandy bottle in his hand.

"Here, you don't drink," I reminded him.

"I do now," he muttered between gulps."I never used to till you came along with this driving malarkey!"

He lay back, feet on the small table in front of him muttering things in an unknown language.

I er, didn't like to ask..........

Certainly it was an interesting day. Straight along the old Roman Road into big town and round every roundabout in the place. "I thought you and roundabouts needed tightening up," he muttered. By the fifteenth I needed straightening out and muttered quite a bit myself!

His instructions were clear.

"Left here"


"Left, then right at the next," He did not mention there was only 20 feet between them and it meant changing lanes in heavy traffic.

"Right here, middle lane, then signal left, mind the kerb"

"30 speed limit here not 50, left at the lights"

"I think it may be you as the gears usually go into the right slot when everyone else does it"

"Right at this one, then left, mind that silver CAAAAR"

"What silver car? Where"

"40 limit, that is a limit, not a suggestion"

"I know he has stopped, that's because it's your right of way and he doesn't trust you"

"Don't stop the lights are green, left, BRAKE!!!"

"Left, and never mind why I am using a rosary"

"Pedestrian crossiiiiiNNNGG!! Yes I braked. It's OK, she's just a chav, she will roll off at the next roundabout, the pram will follow"

"That's fourth gear that's why we are juddering like a lifeboat in a gale"

"Good stop, I can walk to the pavement from here!"

Now my mate Michael has finished the bottle, but strangely it still appears full. He mutters something about a rest and disappears leaving me to burn my dinner. I wonder if he will do what he said last time and ask for the big boss's help come the actual test?

What's that burning? Ah I know, dinners ready.


Mike Smith said...

Brilliant! Thanks for cheering me up, auld fella!

Mike Rose said...

Graham I have to agree with the other Mike. Your posts always arrive for my post breakfast read. Beats the Sun!

Unknown said...

Are you sure Michael is your Guardian Angel or a demon receiving some extra punishment before being chained in the pit for all of eternity???

1st Lady said...

About those roundabouts, just a wee tip, I've found that going around them 5 times is usually enough to find the right turn off.

King's Kid said...


You crack me up!! Keep it coming, "A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones." Proverbs 17:22