Monday, 17 December 2007
How to be an Idiot. No. 65
First decide there is too much 'stuff' on the PC, and then remove it.
Use all the usual tools, 'Ad-Aware,' 'AVG' and the like, then progress to a little function called 'Find Junk Files.' A useful tool for removing dead links and,would you believe, junk files.
Simply run these programmes and delete.
Easy.
The important thing of course, especially with the 'Find Junk Files' operation, is to fail to check just what exactly is being deleted! It is clearly displayed in front of you, and a check is recommended, but of course you need not bother because, 'They are all junk surely?' is the grand attitude!
At least that as my attitude.
Now the CD Rom will not play, the 'My Documents' and 'My Pictures,' files will open but fail to display, and I await with trepidation whatever else will malfunction during the course of the day.
Saturday, 15 December 2007
The 'Zibbi' Disease
We have it now! yes indeed the Heart of Midlothian have been diagnosed with the 'Zibbi' disease. It is fair to say that, like so many other diseases, it was avoidable. The disease first showed itself during another Heart of Midlothian trouncing of Hibernian. The Hibs goalie, one, and we thought there was only 'one, let the ball squirm Zbigniew Malkowski made unfortunate errors and allowed the Hearts to obtain the goals their performance so clearly deserved. However, it grew from this. In league and cup semi finals, 'Zibbifrom his hands, or found himself out of position. he did not know how to react to the Hearts fans calling his name, poor lad.
Hibernian of course decided this could not go on and dropped him and replaced him with a goalkeeper named Brown. A fine Scots name and surely 'continental' goalkeeping was a thing of the past. Wrong! 'Broon' was just another 'Zibbi' after all, and has vanished from the scene. Call upon a Scotland Youth, and Under 21, goalkeeper Andy McNeil. This young man has a fine career ahead of him. A steady goalkeeper, learning his trade, developing fast, and one for the future, possibly even a full Scotland international. He blew it. Twice!
How we laughed! Now I am not one to gloat over another's fall, and being an exceedingly bad goalkeeper myself in my time, the best and most important player on the football pitch, I am certainly not trying to put these men down - but it is funny!
We are not laughing now!
Oh no. Since Vlad arrived as owner, and Craig Gordon moved to Sunderland we too have developed 'Zibbi' disease. How? By simply allowing the owner to pick the team! We have a very good, although ageing, goalkeeper in Steve banks. here we have a mature player, knowledgeable about the game, experienced, popular with the fans, and he is not playing. Just because we needed a goalkeeping coach after the previous man moved on, and Banksie took over his duties, someone, Vlad, appears to think he is not competent to play the game! Jings!
fumbled the ball and we lost! Having forty thousand people crying 'Instead of wearing out the poor man we play two other goalies who are not fit to wear the Hearts jersey. How does that make sense? Basso, the Frenchman played against Celtic, had little to do, made one mistake for the goal right enough, and has been dropped. Kurskis, who we all know from the reserve games he has played, clearly is not up to the job. Three minutes from the end today we lost the game. Having been poor in the first half, as indeed were Rangers, we let them score via a mistake, then struggled to get the ball into their half. During the second half we played better, attacked them and scored with seventeen minutes left. We could at that pint have won the game, and certainly got a point. However, near the end KurskisHee Haw' donkey fashion cannot be good for ones confidence! Both are good enough for a lower level, both are good shot stoppers, but so was I! Neither are good enough for the Heart of Midlothian! So why play them? The 'Zibbi' disease comes back on us. A mature, competent, non 'Zibbi' goalkeeper is a must Vlad, or even easier, play Banks! Oh, and get a proper manager at the same time!
This is no way to run a football club Vlad!
Thursday, 13 December 2007
Social Networking
What is worse two folk from the past have turned up! Now as it happens these people are OK, although one speaks only in 'text speak' and therefore I have no idea what she is saying. Which may be a benefit of course! However the lass who started all this has gone quiet and has not responded to the many 'gifts' I have sent her, 'free' of course. I even sent her a present to put under her pagan and ungodly Christmas tree - yes I was forced to have one also! Well I need the presents don't I!
The other day a card arrived from up North in the land of constant wind, rain and these days, sleet! My sweet ten year old great niece, sweet to those who don' t know the brat, wrote the family Christmas cards. This is because her writing is better than her mothers and if she had not done it they would never be sent. her mother managed to send the cards in time a couple of years ago, and on enquiring how he done it met the reply, "They are from last year. I forgot to post them!" Right enough. Before that she had sent my expensive gift to my brother by mistake. I hope it fitted!
Anyway this trainee juvenile delinquent 'just happened' to mention her 'Bebo' address on the card. I understood she had obtained one of these by blackmailing her dad, but had not been informed of the address. Naturally I took the bait like any great uncle fearful of the consequences of not responding, and struggled to open a 'Bebo' account just to please the whelp. Naturally, after spending an evening tying to understand, and failing, how to set the thing up as I require, no trace of the brats account could be found. Either she has had it closed in the few days since writing the cards or it is an incorrect address.
Now I have two 'social networking' sites I could live without, clumps of hair lying around the chair, and some tell me these things are amongst the 'must haves' of today. I am off back to my 'The Might That Was Assyria' book, I find cuneiform tablets easier to understand. First person to say 'Peace' gets it!
Wednesday, 12 December 2007
The BBC
I am paying something like £138 a year, which I can hardly afford, for a TV licence. This money goes towards paying for the BBC. This money I am happy to pay if I could find some programmes worth watching. Instead I find soap opera after soap opera, each the same, the good guy, the bad guys (mostly bad these days), the tense story line - adultery, jealousy, anger, malice, maybe murder if the ratings are slow and a disaster every so often. 'Emmerdale,' set in a country village, appears from the intro to have around twenty seven house, a church, a pub and a village hall. There are one or two farms around, employing maybe three people at most, and little else. In its time there has been around 300 divorces, fifteen murders, several fires and car crashes and on top of this, so to speak, a plane fell on the village! The intro has never changed! OK, that one is on ITV not the Beeb, but they are all the same. The Beebs 'EastEnders' has the record of fewest smiles in a programme. In nearly twenty years nobody has ever smiled or grinned, ever! Although 'Dirty Den' may have smirked after punching someones lights out occasionally, but that's different.
Drama in days of yore used to mean a cop series or what was then called a 'play.' Today drama is no more than a soap opera under another name. Usually a woman is in a man's world fighting male oppression or the barmaid is chasing a priest, and the usual good guys and bad guys fill the screen Even historical programmes are reduced to this dumbed down level. No matter who the historical character may be the trailer for the programme will feature an aggressive man, a stern faced man and a slapper ripping her bodice. Doesn't matter who is the hero, facts are reduced to fit what the audience wants. Factual documentaries are reduced in this way by turning them into dramas with the introduction of actors failing to convey the person they portray.
Now this is a shame. The BBC at its best produces the best documentaries, the best comedies 'Hancock,' 'One Foot in the Grave,' 'Only Fools and Horses' and the like, the best news coverage and yet has for the past twenty years, after Conservative politicians demanded ratings improve if the licence fee should stay, has dumbed down to the lowest common denominator. This is not good enough.
Of course the British part of the name is a misnomer. It really means 'English,' and always has. Some would say it is indeed only the so called 'Home Counties' that matter, the rest can stick as far as London is concerned. They have a point, how often do you hear a Birmingham voice, or one from Norfolk or Cornwall, and there is now way a Geordie would ever get on, nobody could understand them! Scotland of course has a separate BBC up to a point, but only up to a point, the money stays in London. While the Scotland team play games at Hampden Park, Glasgow, the Scots have England shown on their TV! London will not allow enough to buy the rights, so Scotland's home games go to 'SKY!' Shocking!
Nothing funny so far eh? No, but it has filled a few minutes of your life. You sad creature you!
TV is poor, some days I see nothing on a wide variety of channels. Now as you know, TV is a good thing, but let's be honest, while God Creates the devil perverts, and so much is just not worth watching. Talk shows in which people's broken lives are held up to world scrutiny really make me mad! They are happy to use daft folk to get ratings and make money. I would love to help these folk and hate seeing them ridiculed by an audience of cretins. This is not right!
Television is a wonderful invention (a Scot was the inventor by the way) and has many uses. Parliament debates on one hand live football on the other, it educates kids as well as bores the parents. It keeps us company when alone and saves many in our fragmented society from despair. It can be good, so why is it I find myself so often looking for a book? Oh well.
Monday, 10 December 2007
Did Someone Say....?
Michael Owen England Footballer :
"I was really surprised when the FA knocked on my doorbell".
"None of Croatia players would get into the current England team".
Better make it six, I can't eat eight."
Dan Osinski, Baseball pitcher, when a waitress asked if he wanted his pizza cut into six or eight slices
"The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history. I mean in this century's history. But we all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century."
Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
"Sure there have been injuries and deaths in boxing - but none of them serious." Alan Minter, Boxer
"Traffic is very heavy at the moment, so if you are thinking of leaving now, you'd better set off a few minutes earlier." Anonymous Traffic Report
"We are unable to announce the weather. We depend on weather reports from the airport, which is closed, due to weather. Whether we will be able to give you a weather report tomorrow will depend on the weather." Arab News report
"Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, "Thank God, I'm still alive." But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again." Barbara Boxer, Senator
"After playing Cameroon in the 1990 world cup finals: "We didn't underestimate them. They were just a lot better than we thought" Bobby Robson
"Most cars on our roads have only one occupant, usually the driver."
Carol Malia, BBC Anchorwoman
"My sister's expecting a baby, and I don't know if I'm going to be an uncle or an aunt." Chuck Nevitt, North Carolina State basketball player, explaining to Coach Jim Valvano why he appeared nervous at practice.
"We are not ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President
"There's going to be a real ding-dong when the bell goes."
David Coleman, Sportscaster
"There is Brendan Foster, by himself, with 20,000 people"
David Coleman, Sportscaster
"We don't like their sound. Groups of guitars are on the way out."
Decca Records Rejecting the Beatles, in 1962
Friday, 7 December 2007
Friday Night
I could make mention of the award given to me by that wise man Sicarii. Yes another award, (excuse me while I stand in front of the mirror patting my hair while a bright glint is seen emanating from my teeth). While I grasp this with both hands (please excuse the filth on them, I have just washed my face), I must refrain from adding it to the board itself. You see he, and many others, post specifically about their spiritual lives while I just rant and spout whenever I have had too much coffee, or the Prozac runs out. Some may have noticed this.... While gratefully received it would intimate the blog is something it cannot be and give the wrong impression. I leave such blogs to those who can properly write them, I just spout whatever flits through my mind, leaving me able to cover other important subjects, Football, er...and,.......... there must be something else...
****************************
Quizzes
I am watching the 'Eggheads' quiz at the moment, as the smell of burning gruel drifts past, and I wonder what is it about such programmes that take hold of us? I first started listening to the 'Brain of Britain' quiz around 1975/6 time, and I have been hooked ever since! Why? What is it about the general knowledge quiz ? I very rarely miss this programme, even though the excellent Robert Robinson no longer holds sway, and thoroughly enjoy a quiz that is much too hard for my little bonce. A recent radio programme investigated the 'Pub Quiz' and the somewhat cynical presenter admitted at the end he was hooked! Small five question quizzes appear in most papers these days and several people can be seen struggling to find the answers. Such a simple formula and so satisfying when a high score is reached! TV and radio stations must have some for of quiz show. Often these are dumbed down, a simple choice of three answers from a stupidly easy question to help raise cash from those calling in, or just to offer a prize that will keep the audience eager. Flashing lights and big name 'celebrities' to ask questions helps ratings, especially when some over hyped lass is in tears at her £several thousand pound success. This begs the question,why must they all be so hyped up? A dull show we do not want but hysteria, is it really necessary? The calmer scene on 'Mastermind,' or 'University Challenge' does not detract from the show, but maybe tabloid everything is what sells best in this world. Funny how worldwide a little thing like a quiz can be so popular
Hmmm I did not do too well on this edition of Eggheads, the questions must have got harder!. And while I scrape this black stuff from the pot I will consider a little quiz for next week maybe.
******************************
Joke
On the way to my job this morning, I rear-ended a car at the lights down the road.
Somehow I just knew it was going to be a bad day after that.
The driver got out of the other car, and he was a dwarf, poor soul.
He looked at his dented car and then looked up at me and said angrily "I am not happy"
I said, "Well, which one are you then?"
Anyway that's how the fight started.......
Thursday, 6 December 2007
Tagged - Again!
Claiming I have too much free time he passed this on to me to fill my day! Ptah! I have been very busy today, so busy I only went back to my bed twice! However, being the nice guy that I am, I have taken several hours of precious time to follow orders. This is the result!
Seven things you did not know about me :-
* I live alone in this cave.
* There are several hundred videos on the shelf. Mostly beginning with Scots football and filled with worthwhile stuff I have added.
* The VCR does not work!
* The 'Bullworker' that leans against the wall was bought in 1970 ish. Had I used if for a few minutes a day as recommended I would now be a muscle bound oaf.
* I am an unfit, weedy & pot bellied oaf!
* I mostly read my books in the loo/bath.
* I once spent a night in Cardiff (1976) and have never gone abroad since!
Now the results, without pics as I canny do them............
You Are Olive Green
You are the most real of all the green shades. You're always true to yourself.
For you, authenticity and honesty are very important... both in others and yourself.
You are grounded and secure. It takes a lot to shake you.
People see you as dependable, probably the most dependable person they know.
Hmmmm
Your Superpower Should Be Invisibility
You are stealth, complex, and creative.
You never face problems head on. Instead, you rely on your craftiness to get your way.
A mystery to others, you thrive on being a little misunderstood.
You happily work behind the scenes... because there's nothing better than a sneak attack!
Hmmmm
Why you would be a good superhero: You're so sly, no one would notice... not even your best friends
Your biggest problem as a superhero: Missing out on all of the glory that visible superheroes get
Aye......
You Belong in San Francisco
You crave an eclectic, urban environment. You're half California, half NYC.
You're open minded, tolerant, and secretly think you're the best.
People may dismiss you as a hippie, but you're also progressive, interesting, and rich!
Ageing hippie maybe......
Your English Skills:
Spelling: 100%
Vocabulary: 100%
Punctuation: 60%
Grammar: 20%
Well I speak Lallans actually....
You Are Scissors
Sharp and brilliant, you can solve almost any problem with that big brain of yours.
People fear your cutting comments - and your wit is famous for being both funny and cruel.
Deep down, you tend to be in the middle of an emotional storm. Your own complexity disturbs you.
You are too smart for your own good. Slow down a little - or you're likely to hurt yourself.
You can cut a paper person down to pieces.
The only person who can ruin you is a rock person.
When you fight: You find your enemy's weak point and exploit it.
If someone makes you mad: You'll do everything you can to destroy their life
Sharp and brilliant???????
You Are Not Destined to Rule the World
You are destined for something else...
Like inventing a new type of cupcake.
You just don't have the stomach for brutality.
But watch out - because many people do!
Hmmmm
You Are Bert
Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you lovable - even if you don't love them!
You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you
You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil
How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others
Who is Bert?
I should now pass this onto a friend - but I lost all the others I passed the last one on to!
So I will find something else...........
Monday, 3 December 2007
Football
Some time ago a beautiful woman of my acquaintance gave me a little fridge magnet she, in here womanly manner, thought appropriate. It read, 'If a man watches two football matches in a row, he should be declared legally dead.' Now this woman, beautiful, highly intelligent, full of knowledge and common sense, was unfortunately female! This as any intelligent person (e.g. Male) will realise leads to a lack of proportion in understanding just what exactly is important in this world! An unfortunate lack you will agree, but one we have come to expect from the majority of lassies in this world. They will consider wearing the same earrings two days running a sin but never appreciate just how important beating Stirling Albion in the League Cup might be. Tsk!
However, had that lass been around on Saturday she might have flipped her lid a little as I managed to watch three games that day, one after another. How good was that! First I managed to pick up the mighty Heart of Midlothian's struggle against half of Glasgow's evil twins. Now when Celtic arrive in Edinburgh the place is always buzzing. Not only are they a 'big team' (in their own minds) but they share the 'Old Firm' self importance with the other half, Rangers. It is always a delight to rip them apart in that loving football manner that men understand so well. However, although the game started well it soon faded into a dour, dreich encounter that will quickly fade from the mind. Effort and some skill showed up, but goalmouth action was a rarity. Usually these games are played before a baying, howling crowd, with tackles unfit for human consumption appearing all over the park, not on Saturday. Often the ref will fail to control the outburts of temper and bad feeling, none showed on this occasion, and the game, was lifted only by a goalkeeping error and a deserved, blatant last minute penalty. In the days of prehistory I played in more exciting games myself, and played extremely badly I must add!
I followed this up with Portsmouth v Everton. here the best of the English Premiership failed to impress! The English love to claim they have the best league in the world, ignoring Spain of course, and telling the world how good they are. This quality is shown by the lack of English managers and players at the top clubs, but I will not mention that. The Everton display did not inspire respect for any league, defending away from home when one of the top clubs in the league was a poor decision. The second half was better, but although a draw at Portsmouth is commendable this was poor stuff.
Much better was the Aston Villa taking on the mighty Arsenal. This was how to play away from home, all out attack with bundles of skill from Arsenal and deserved goals. As the break approached I thought Villa were about to implode. How wrong I was! The second half was a display of all out attack from Villa that had me on the edge of my seat, except when I fell off!
Excellent game, and the best of the weekend. But I was glad when it finished. Those little Saturday jobs that I had meant to do were still waiting for me, and it was too late by then! Shame eh?
Sunday. A day of rest. Now what better way to rest than to watch the Harrogate Railway play Mansfield Town in the English Cup? Actually, having watched this I consider listening to a woman talk about her baby more interesting, but maybe I am being harsh! To upset the lassie, if she was to know, I also finished up by watching an excited Birmingham City travel to Spurs and beat them 3-2. Jolly good that, much as I would like to see Spurs move up the league, which the will.
All in all a very good football weekend. We held our own, some good, exciting football observed, and now I am surrounded by squalor that has built up from nowhere over the weekend. How come? Anyway, back to the real world. Job seeking is not easy when you are an ageing, injury hit idiot, especially at this time of year. I had invested hopefully in the Lottery as a means of changing the world around me, but that seems to me an unfair system, in so much as someone else always gets what i consider 'my' winnings! Tsk!
I wonder if there are any games on tonight............
Wednesday, 28 November 2007
Christmas Cards
The next year, those I had omitted from my ‘must/want to send’ list, omitted me from theirs. We were all glad. Money and effort was no longer wasted. Friendships, occasional and worthwhile, remained. I tell you not to be oppressed by the need to send cards to folk you wish to drop. They may feel the same towards you! Anyway, if within the next year they infer they wish to keep contact no harm is done by the loss of a card, is there?
Now I realise this is not always possible, in the real world compromises must be made. One year I worked in an office staffed with 14 women. At Christmas time these girls gave each other cards. As we sat at desks next to each other, and as most of them were Hindus and the others Muslim, I found this desperate need to give cards somewhat strange. I did point out the novelty of being forced by such to waste money on a card to join the dozen already crowding each desk, however the noise of my protest, and the physical threats if I failed in their duty, was overwhelming, and for the sake of peace I obeyed. I did suggest one car with their name on it, and they could tick it off as it passed, but this was not welcomed. Compromise? Me? Oh yes, the boss,she was an Irish catholic, and very rough I can tell you!
Wise Men?
But consider carefully the cards available. Are they really representative of Christmas as it actually occurred? Matthew is the main man where Christmas is concerned, and Luke tells us from what I think is Mary’s point of view. A child’s birth tends to stick in a girls mind I have discovered. Take the arrival of the magi for instance. These men, usually referred to as ‘Wise men,’ don’t appear to me to be to wise on most Christmas cards do they? Three men on camels, staring up at a very bright, beautifully drawn spectacular star, one pointing skywards implying the other two are to dumb to see the star that lightens the world around and fill a third of the card! Some wise men they! But nowhere does it say three men arrived. They presented three gifts, Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh, but nothing to say how many men arrived. Anyway, three men on camels coming all the way, possibly for the Babylon area, on camels with a vacuum flask and a packet of sandwiches does not appear to my little mind to be too accurate. Each man would have had a party of men with him, servants, probably slaves, several camels and donkeys, and would have joined with as many others as possible to travel the vast distance in safety. One Italian film on St Matthews gospel shows three such men meeting up and travelling together. Each one talking loudly to drown out the hand waving yelling servant hordes with them! That is much more realistic than three lads on their own, and much more biblical in my view also.
Baby in Manger?
But what is in front of these men? Usually a small wooden hut, surrounded by a bright shining yellow glow awaits them. A wooden barn may contain the family, with attendant cow and donkey happy in the background. Everything clan and bright and very
Maybe it is just me that thinks most Christmas cards have little to do with Christmas, just as folks who spout all to easily ‘The real meaning of Christmas’ and bounce over -zealously on the telly in programmes recorded last March, have as much idea of the real Christmas as I have of being rich! Christmas is a time for commercial exploitation, but this does not mean we ought to be Oliver Cromwellian about it. I like Christmas pudding! It is a time to get together with friends and family, it is a time folk find themselves in a church, and it can be a time for bringing good news to those who never hear it. But for Christians it ought to be a time to emphasis the biblical truths, and not half truths expounded on Christmas cards.
There are other cards which reflect a Christmas of the mind as opposed to reality, you know the ones, the happy Victorian scene, the one where a stagecoach glides through the snow filled streets past well dressed happy folks, with kids throwing snowballs and glowing shop windows in the background. Such cards tend to forget the kids had rickets, one third of the population were on the breadline. In fact usually this means is they had a job tomorrow, but often and many as a third did not! The happy folk in the shops were working 98 or more hours a week, and the happy folks who could afford to buy would either die in childbirth or from TB or some disease we use a few drugs to cure. Cynical? No just realistic. Many Victorians were happy, but these scenes are deceptive, I wish a better Christmas, a more honest one.
The Robin sitting on the snow covered branch is another deception, as the bird is with us all year round. It is also an adulterous bully boy in the bird world, very Christmassy, if you are shallow enough to think ‘Eastenders’ is worth watching!
Snow scenes and snowmen abound on cards, this is amazing as outside of the Scottish highlands we never see snow till February ,and anyway snow is cold horrid stuff that freezes everything, causes accidents and I hate it anyway! Send it back to the Arctic where it is needed I say!
Shall I bother to convey my opinions on cards fronted by Santa Claus? Or if you are middle class and ‘Santa’ is too childish for you, change it to ‘Father Christmas’ and make this fairy tale character, usurped by the ‘Coco Cola’ company, into something more acceptable. How many folks enjoy the kiddies belief in ‘Santa Claus’ but never explain the Jesus was lying in that manger in a cave? Burn Santa ‘s sleigh and eat the reindeer I say! And when you are at it ask him why I never got that CD I wanted last time!
‘Peace’ is common, ‘Peace on earth to men’ the cards often claim, although many are now correctly inserting the better ‘peace to men of goodwill’ as opposed to ‘Peace to all men,’ as peace is offered but too often ignored. The Dove with the olive branch is very biblical, at least when the snows melt in February. ‘Joy’ is often seen on cards, and such cards, often in boxed sets, are bought from the local Clintons by miserable looking folk who have not smiled since they won £10 on the first week of the Lottery. ‘Joy’ indeed! But honestly, how many Christians make you feel ‘JOY’ when you meet them? All too few I say. The Holly and the Ivy just sting the fingers and should be placed, neatly, on a compost heap where they would be of more use.
Cards made to placate the politically correct, saying ‘Happy Holiday’ instead of ‘Happy Christmas should be recycled. Companies who insist on such greetings so as not to cause ‘offence’ should be sued for being offensive. Just what exactly should be done to those cards which, when opened, ring out computerised versions of Christmas Carols I leave to your imagination. But if one comes my way I suggest you transfer yourself into any regiment now patrolling in
Humour
I gave up on religious cards long ago. They do not convey biblical truth, and all to often are discarded unnoticed by the recipient. I only use carefully selected humorous cards, such as the one shown, that is my preferred card this year, as they are better for the folk at the other end. At least they get a laugh! A minister friend had dozens of cards one year, many from folk worldwide, and far too many were routine religious type cards. People were afraid to send something frivolous in case he was offended! Incredible to think that people can be so stupid!
Use cards well, and do not follow convention as that stifles life. If it must be religious make it biblical or forget it! But I think most folks will be happier with humour. That's closer to what it really is all about.
Friday, 23 November 2007
Friday
I was given this award by the Channel of Healing very nice it is too! Not often I get rewarded now is it! I do often get given things mind, folks round here are very helpful, you recall that only the other day I had a note, attached to a brick flung through my window - the note read, "Your window is broken!" Not everybody would take the time to do that, but lots of folk here put themselves out in this way I find.
The north wind doth blow today and it is rattling the windows so to help forget the weather I have stole....acquired some jokes that may, or may not, waste some time for you today.
In a recent poll the British population were asked if Polish immigrants were a problem.
23% said ''Yes its a serious problem''.
77% said ''Czesk bardzo mi milu gdzie d jest toaldta''.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman:
"Where's the self-help section?"
She said that if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
f(x)=6x+3 walks into a bar, goes up to the barman and asks “
Can I have a couple of sandwiches please?”
The barman replies: “Sorry mate, we don’t cater for functions”
I’ve told my wife I want a wooden leg for Christmas.
It’s not my main present; it’s more of a stocking filler.
Q: What do you call an Essex girl with half a brain ?
A: Gifted!
Q: How do Essex girl braincells die ?
A: Alone.
Q: Why should Essex girls not be given coffee breaks ?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
*None. "We'll document it in the manual."
*None. It's a hardware problem.
*1.000000001.
*Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.
*Four. One to design the change, one to implement it, one to document it, and one to maintain it afterwards.
*Four, plus one senior analyst to manage the project, one technical writer to correct the spelling and grammar of the one who documented it, one light bulb librarian, a sales-force of at least five to drum up enough users who want to turn the light on, 274 users to burn out the new bulb, at which point we go to tender for another light bulb change,...
*Five. Two to write the specification program, one to screw it in, and two to explain why the project was late.
*Only one, but she's not available till the year 2000.
*"The change is 90% complete."
*"It's hard to say. Each time we separate the bulb into its modules to do unit testing, it stops working."
*Of course, as everyone knows, just five years ago all it took was a bunch of kids in a garage in Palo Alto to change a light bulb.
Thursday, 22 November 2007
Justice is Done
The English, who since time immemorial, have considered themselves one of the 'top nations' in the world, and especially in world football, have, once again, been seen for what they really are, failures!
The have forgotten the biblical injunction to be humble and their arrogance has brought its own reward. Does it not say, "Arrogance leads to a fall, and pride leads to destruction?" England can see this played out in front of them today. Will they listen? Will they understand? NO! It is not in their nature.
Stereotyping a people is one of the things political correctness does not allow us to participate in these days. However, it always has a basis in fact. With the English a belief in their own importance in all things pervades them. Possibly this is a left over of Empire, a residue of the vile human desire, one we all share, of lording it over others. In the world of football the English pride runs deep. They like to believe England is 'The Home' of football, ignoring the fact that football was widespread long before a group of rich kids at the 'public schools' formulated a system of 'laws' for the game. Quite why that gives them the right to claim ownership is unanswered. William McGregor, the Aston Villa man who created the English football League,had learned his football in Perthshire in the 1850's, and the game, under a wide variety of rules, being played throughout the land. But it is 'their ball' and facts will not get in the way of emotion.
During the last World Cup a lot of media pressure was put on Scotland to support England during the tournament. Possibly politically motivated from Downing Street and the then premier, but certainly a novel idea not used in previous occasions, it was demanded the Scots support England. Now,after a thousand years of imperialist threat, after three hundred years in which the Scots had been treated as second class citizens, after English MPs voting with closed minds on Scots matters then demanding Scots MPs should not vote on English debates, after the name North Britain was forced on the Scots but soon the word 'England' was to take its place, after all this and the contempt still clearly seen on the BBC each day they demand submission from a nation? Dear me, how ignorant are the English from anything outside of their own opinions!
A nation which wrongly considers itself more important than it is, a nation that abuses its neighbour and 'union partner,' a nation that deep inside believes with a passion that they are among the elite of world football finds reality a hard thing to accept. Today the media will of course blame the manager. They will forget how it was they who cried out for a replacement goalkeeper, who also failed, and it is they who consider their opinions above all others. But that is for another day. Today the scapegoat will be found, the promises of change will ring out, the shouting will continue, but the heart will remain stubbornly the same. The John Motson racism will continue, (During the last England v Germany game he took eleven minutes before he mentioned a German player by name!) the opposition will be 'delighted' because they have scored 'at Wembley.' Not that scoring against Spain or Italy, France or Brazil is of importance John is it eh? Ian Wright, how did he get his job, boasts of England in a way he would object in the BNP, Alan Hansen the 'Tomb Tabard,' yearns for his adopted country to win, and Alan Shearer boasts "We play fair," and ignores his many elbows in goalkeepers throats. The radio and TV news,and every other programme, will be filled with English woe, even though the programmes are shown throughout the UK. Northern Ireland's grand show against Spain might get a passing mention, and so will Scotland, Wales will be ignored of course, but the whole of the UK will have to share the woe of England. And they will! After the arrogance of there pundits, after their self interest, after the abuse we suffer we are indeed sharing their woe minute by minute, by laughing our head off!
A new motto for England......
"When pride cometh, then cometh shame: but with the lowly is wisdom. "
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
Market Day Murder
Having fought against the hordes of Vandals and Huns who comprise the normal Wednesday morning market day to the fruit and veg stall, and discovering the best stall is not there, only the Essex boys with their cheery wit and lying smiles and rotten fruit placed by sleight of hand into the bottom of your brown paper bag, you head back they way you have come. This time the bird in the red jersey, worn such a manner to inflame the desire of the men she fancies and enrage the jealousy of the women she passes on the way, this bint decides to grab you attention by skillful use of the pushchair her greeting faced brat is screaming blue blazes in. She also uses blue words when confronted (in love) about her driving ability. Short and frank is the conversation, as indeed are many others at this time. The postman pushing his trolley loaded with business mail around the town 'accidentally' lets you know he is also passing by muttering 'Some of us have jobs to do you know.' Knowing he spends half his day having free coffees and buns (something I never obtained on any walk when I was a postman) another short conversation takes place.
Why do women stop in the middle of the way and stare? What is it that hinders the ability to move to the side and let folks pass? Just because you are looking at a stall, or a window display, for some magical treat you neither need nor actually can afford, is there any need to hinder the rest of the world. MOVE!!!! But no. Females must stop the traffic just to contemplate something, anything, that is in front of them. Ask them what it was two minutes later and they cannot tell you! I have been taken, by force I can tell you, through a department store, up hill and down dale, until we reached the curtain department, one of my favourites I can tell you, just for her to take some material in one hand, rub it between her fingers and mutter, 'Hmmm.' Then we left. 'What was that about?' says I. 'I just wanted to look,' says she. All this for 'Hmmm?' says I. 'Yes,' says she, as if the hour had been worth it in some way.
However, today I surpassed myself. Coming out of 'Woolworth's' were the Mongol Hordes, pushing and shoving, and attempting to avoid the bookstall and the girl selling overpriced candles ('Ideal gift,' for who?) while not stumbling into a woman searching her handbag in the middle of the remaining space. Behind me a crowd of stampeding cattle were being held up by this female. The narrow space in which we crushed seemed to get smaller as we waited for her to do something and, finally, she did. She stopped looking in her bag and just stood there with a soporific smile on her face. From the other direction I thought Ashur-bani-pal and his Assyrian army were coming towards us,but I may have miscounted, the stalls around us swayed and yet more arrived from 'Woolies' as another pushchair arrived to scream its way into the fray. Just than a small still voice came from behind a hand proffering a leaflet with Santa prominent on it,
'Merry Christmas' said the voice cheerfully. It was at this point that I took out the chainsaw and cut the old bint in twain. I then proceeded to carve my way through the Assyrian army, any runaway cattle and each and every pushchair headed in my direction. As I got to the end of the market I found that I had been followed by several dozen men. 'Thank the Lord for that,' said one, I thought I'd never get out of there again!' The others said the same. 'Never shop on a market day again,' said a big ex army type,'It's far too dangerous if you ask me.'
We looked back at the carnage brought by the chainsaw, and were satisfied.
Monday, 19 November 2007
Monday Morning Lies!
Start the week the way you intend to go on! that is what this government is doing. Today the attention grabbing headline is 'Getting People Off Disability Allowance.'
Goody! But why? Peter Hain appears on TV this morning blethering, in that disreputable manner of his, about the benefits to those receiving such benefits getting back into work. 650,000 vacancies he says, ignoring that most of them are unavailable for the disabled and not in their district anyway, 'Help is available,' true, but not everywhere, and he wax's lyrical about the benefits for those who get back into the workforce.
Jolly good, but all lies!
David Cameron has taken the lead in the publicity stakes so Labour need to get the attention of the 'middle England' voter. How to do this? Attack those on the dole, after all are they not all scroungers? Indeed 60,000 claim disability allowance in Glasgow, vast numbers do so in Liverpool, and many more in the north east of England, non of which are considered 'Daily Mail' territory. Ah the 'Daily Mail,' yes indeed, it is the readers of this paper who matter here. They consider themselves the backbone of the nation, they work for their money, they are concerned to keep it in their grasping paws rather than share it with those in need, and all of them are scroungers who should get a job and 'stop hiding behind their disability anyway!' After all, if they have to work, what is stopping someone who has had an injury, and 'anyway it is not as bad as they make out is it?'
You see the truth is the disabled, or dole scroungers of any type, appeal to the 'middle England' reader, therefore attacking them in this way helps prop up the Labour party and its desperate desire to stay in power. If however Hain decided come on telly claiming tax dodgers were to be dealt with it would lead to a disaster at the polls for the 'Socialist' party. Stop folk cheating on the dole by all means but do not deal with those who evade paying tax! The fact that vast billions is removed from this country to off shore tax havens (yes Mr Lampard we mean you!) and those grossly overpaid rich folks who do this are encouraged by the 'Socialist' leaders because it 'aids the economy' says much for our understanding of 'decency' and the 'fair play' for which this country is 'justly famous!' Those who have are well able to keep what they have, those who are not 'middle class' or part of 'middle England,' and many small business folk are here, fearing the immigrant, terrified they will steal from their shop, not give the taxi driver his tip, and worse, open a business undercutting him. But they feel better when the powers that be stand on those who do nothing for their keep, even if it is not their fault.
A good business idea is to go to Glasgow or Liverpool and sell walking sticks. Thousands use them in and around Glasgow, just in case the camera van is watching them and they lose their dole money. Selling walking sticks at a few pounds a go will make someone's fortune, I wish I could do it but I can't afford the bus fare..............
Saturday, 17 November 2007
SICK!
Scotland have taken on the World Champions and forced them to play at their best to beat us, we have beaten the World Cup Runners Up, France, home and away. Throughout the tournament we have been regarded as no-hoper's, yet we again fail at the last. Some things never change! When we succeed in qualifying for tournaments we fail to the best by the odd goal or a 'hard luck' story. Never are we humiliated by the best, by the rest yes, the best, no! Once again the side that has given its all, made the nation hold their head high, left us knowing the future is bright, has gone out.
Life is not fair.
To make matters worse, Russia have lost in Israel, a side they should have beaten handsomely.
Why does this matter? Had Russia done their duty England would have gone out also. As it stands England have every chance of qualifying for Euro 2008! By Wednesday night we will know the sad truth. England, once again struggling in an easy group, will have succeeded where valiant Scotland have failed. Once again a feeble side will arrive at the tournament, their media, and indeed their public, claiming they are world beaters, believing in their hearts, in spite of all the evidence against them, that England are one of the worlds elite teams. NEVER! This is a lie!
Once again John Motson and his ilk will ignore the Scots who have fought to overcome the worlds best while England have used others to bring them success. Once again the gloating smarm that sickens decent people will be found shining like American evangelists from our screens. Once again facts will be ignored to enhance the 'greatness' of England and it football.
Sick is not a word to reflect the heartfelt emotions of decent football folk.
Friday, 16 November 2007
Thoughts For Friday
- P G Pridmore
A friend is someone who's there when he needs you"
- Anon
"I'm gonna live forever, or die trying."
- Joseph Heller (Catch 22)
"Behind every successful man stands a surprised mother-in-law."
- Hubert Humphrey
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder"
- Anon
"I can see clearly now, the brain has gone"
- Anon
"I am nobody
Nobody is perfect
Therefore, I must be perfect!"
- Anon
"Some people say that one's personality is reflected off of their car... Well, I have no car."
- Anon
Ronald Reagan
Thursday, 15 November 2007
Neds
Just where do the neds that plague our streets come from? Do they arrive in ships and planes from abroad? Are they hanging on the back end of lorries crossing the channel perhaps, possibly they just drop down the chimney with Santa each Christmas? Or could it be that the feckless young yob who finds entertainment by taking drugs and cheap alcohol, throwing up in the streets and stealing cash from old women is in fact a product of our society itself? In short, your fault and mine!
While it may not exactly be our fault directly, I wonder if it is indirectly as we have let the society around us disintegrate into a liberal mish-mash of self based ideas masquerading as 'freedom.' The encouragement to divorce and allow folks to separate from failed marriages seems at first sight a good and fair one. Indeed we all know that failure is sometimes inevitable in some cases. But when laws are passed allowing divorce why was there no attempt to provide help for those who really wanted the marriage to work but could not cope with the strain? The 'marriage Guidance Council' in the early 80's received million pound a year from the government, a government that began to spend umpteen million on benefits and housing for those who began to separate. Had they then began to increase the finance to those willing to support marriage there would have been a colossal saving in cash, something Conservatives worship! But this was not done, because they would not spend the money! Short term gain for long term failure. Since then the abundance of single parent families, loved by the middle classes who have the cash and ability to endure in such circumstances, has left the lower orders in disarray. While a middle class child learns around 1500 words by the time he is five, he may not get beyond 500 among the 'Chavs 'of this world. For the young dad who cannot cope with a child bride and a child often leaves her, and peer pressure all to often from both sides, indicates this is OK. The young mum is often helpless in rearing a child she is too young or too dumb to cope with. Another generation of the shiftless arises.
The Christian church has stood back, and sometimes encouraged, such freedoms. In the 70's it was claimed by many satanic forces were praying against marriage. We nodded and did nothing. Too wrapped up in our own affairs. (Is that the right word I ask?) Too late we realised that society was dividing, but by then we were also. Charismatic or evangelical? Women priests or not, then the homosexual debate caused the church to forget it's God, or just polarise the many differences. Satan much more able to destroy than the church to unite. Christians above all are at fault for our society, because (I) were too full of our self life, and did not submit to God nor pray for his world. Too late for self flagellation now however.
Being poor, and uneducated, does not lead to failure. The working class in the 19th century made an effort to learn and 'better themselves.' This continued into the 20th century and its effects are with us today. From Cowdenbeath alone, a mining district, two men made it to the House of Lords, one invented the 'Beta Blocker, many were forced by parents to learn a trade and avoid going down the pit, some travelling the world because of their skill, one at least became an international footballer, and all had a pride in themselves. It is not thus today! For too many they see no further than the dole handouts, a TV, drugs and short sex acts. the hope of a life worth having seems rare for some.
It need not be! There will always be many worthless people in this world, and will you avoid looking at me as I say that please! But if God sent his Son to redeem the whole lot, he must have thought it worth trying. How? The dreadful fact is that 'Love' is the answer. Not the Walton's type love,
'Goodnight Dad',
'Goodnight Son',
'Goodnight Mom'
Goodnight Son'
'Goodnight brother'
'WILL YOU SHUT UP AND GET TO SLEEP!!!!!'
No it is worse even than that. It takes effort, time and means 'loving' the person in front of you.
That is hard!
It means reaching out even to the ned and his mates near you and offering them a life they have not received from their forefathers. A life they will reject often, but one that some will accept. Even if they do not accept your God just finding them a life will be worth it.
Some try, like this group. http://www.youthblog.org/index.html
It costs however. How off putting.
Wednesday, 14 November 2007
Free Rice
Yes indeed I am offering you the chance to participate in this also. I realise many others will have brought this to your attention and I hate to be left out! So here it is. Find out just how your vocabulary fares, it will be better than you think. Mind you, this has clearly been developed by an American, some of the words make no sense whatsoever to anyone born in the real world!
However anything that is fun and educational, that gets a grip of you and helps feed those who need it cannot be bad I say.
The Free Rice FAQ's says this:-
If FreeRice has the rice to give, why not give it all away right now?
FreeRice is not sitting on a pile of rice―you are earning it 10 grains at a time. Here is how it works. When you play the game, advertisements appear on the bottom of your screen. The money generated by these advertisements is then used to buy the rice. So by playing, you generate the money that pays for the rice donated to hungry people.
Who distributes the donated rice?
The rice is distributed by the United Nations World Food Program (WFP). The World Food Program is the world’s largest food aid agency, working with over 1,000 other organizations in over 75 countries. In addition to providing food, the World Food Program helps hungry people to become self-reliant so that they escape hunger for good. Wherever possible, the World Food Program buys food locally to support local farmers and the local economy. We encourage you to visit the United Nations World Food Program to learn more about their successful approach to ending hunger.
Will the rice I donate make a difference?
The rice you donate makes a huge difference to the person who receives it. About 25,000 people die each day from hunger or hunger-related causes, most of them children. To a mother or father watching a loved child die in their arms from hunger, the rice you donate is more precious than anything in the world.
So, have fun, educate yourself, and feed the world at the same time.
Click here now! http://www.freerice.com
Tuesday, 13 November 2007
Now I am not one to complain
however, if I were I could soon find reason to complain about the Tabloid press! These papers, which outsell anything that masquerades as journalism, seem to be a law unto themselves.
While they claim to cover 'News' and 'Sport,' what they actually mean is 'sensation' and 'scandal,' whether in the news or sporting worlds! In the end within such papers sex is the most important element. If not semi nude women, and they are all right in their place, it is a celeb, often one you have never heard off, discussing ditching their partner or partners. Sex is prominent in ‘problem pages’ and even the adverts, and all women photographed must be as exposed as possible, usually willingly it must be said.
That begs the question who is using who? Do celebs use the media for publicity, yes indeed, and do the media use them because there is a large number of folk out there who want to read about celebs, especially the bad ones? Of course there is and all parers, even the so called ‘quality’ press, write what their readers wish to see. It was ever thus.
People are often hounded by the ‘Tabloid journalist’ types, sometimes wrongly accused, and certainly abused by them. Should this be so? There is a place for free speech and press freedom but surely the media, and tabloids especially, go well beyond the justified investigation required. Nothing seems able to stop their prying. Governments are scared of them, especially the ‘Daily Mail’ and the ‘Sun.’ The courts cannot protect as legal aid is refused for libel cases, and the pressure put upon those opposing the press is tremendous.
I hate tabloids and all they stand for. They use and abuse the people found inside, and the reader also abuses in the same manner. The reader is dehumanised as they read and the ‘reporter’ loses his decency as he cynically uses those around him. Who wins? Short term finance for the producer and shorter term thrill for the reader. Both soon fade and only emptiness remains. Human nature is exposed by a glance at the tabloid media, in print or on air, and what is seen is not good.
Saturday, 10 November 2007
Haymarket Remembrance of Heart of Midlothian Players
This memorial was erected in 1922 to commemorate the action of the Heart of Midlothian players who enlisted in 'McCrae's Battalion.' This battalion, the 16th Royal Scots, was founded and led by Sir George McCrae. By persuading the Hearts men to join the battalion he brought credit to the football world, many were determined to force football, and many other sports, to close for the duration of the war. The actions of these men ended this, and persuaded a great many more to enlist at a time when recruitment was falling away after the early rush.
This was no easy task for these men. Football wise they were about to win the League Championship for the first time for years, this team was the best in the country and had started the season with a resounding two nil victory over their main rivals Celtic. By the time McCrae arrived the war had begun to go badly for the allies. After the victory at Mons, the retreat to the Marne, and the beginning of trench warfare, folk had realised the war would not 'be over by Christmas.' The dangers to life and limb were becoming obvious, and the opportunity of football glory was near, yet many enlisted in the Royal Scots. Others had already joined up, one a reservist and another a territorial. James Speedie and John Allan both enlisted when the first call for volunteers was heard.
Speedie was one of the seven players were did not return from France. He enlisted in the 7th Queens Own Cameron Highlanders and died during the advance on Loos. The regiment then successfully took most of their objectives although they were then held up after a decent advance. Somewhere along the way Speedie was killed, his body never found. The 16th were to suffer badly on the first day of the battle of the Somme. Three men. Wattie, Ellis and Currie died, others were wounded. But the survivors did make a stand and some progressed further than any others that day, to the edge of the village of Contalmaison, although they ended up as POW's! In August, during a quite day, young Boyd was killed. Tom Graicie however died while on service. This man had become the Hearts leading scorer with 29 goals in the season that preceded the war, yet he had begun to suffer his illness by then. This however not only did not stop him enlisting with the rest he continued to score goals. The Hearts men had to endure military training, often involving long route marches, and as a result often found themselves playing league matches with injured feet. Blisters were often bad, tiredness was keen, but by the end of the season 1914/15 the Heart of Midlothian finished second and only by a few points, points that would have been won had military training not interfered! Graicie would often be in his bed but would rise to play his part, and continued his military training. In October 1915 he died. he had been suffering from Leukemia but had managed to keep the nature of his illness from everyone. In 1917, while serving with the only kilted Royal Scots Battalion, the 9th, John Allan was killed near Rouex. His patrol was caught in crossfire, he was the last to die during the war.
Paddy Crossan and Bob Mercer were to die from the effects of the war during the next twenty years, along with many thousands of others who do not have their names on war memorials. But maybe their names ought to be remembered also? Several players resumed their football careers, many were unable to, some leaving the army 'severely disabled' in one way or other. the welfare for these men would be slim at that time. In another war yet more men died, men and fans serving for a cause beyond football. Many endured during the years of 'peace' since the war. Today fans from the club are in the armed forces and brave the dangers of Iraq or even Afghanistan. War memorials are no longer about the distant past, they are with us, unfortunately, for ever.