Saturday 20 August 2011

Horrid Johnny





When I was a postman, my mate Henry John, an aged old man of one year more than I, informed me of the time he went to see his first football match.  He was taken to White Hart Lane, the Home of Tottenham Hotspur  football club. This was in 1956 (before you were born) to see Spurs playing a friendly match against Hibernian, a small unimportant side from Leith. Knowing I supported the Heart of Midlothian, 'Scotia's Darlings' he took every opportunity to mention a Hibernian victory (when?) and a corrupt referee causing the Heart of Midlothian to lose.  


On Thursday, as you will have noticed, the Heart of Midlothian played Spurs at Tynecastle Park in Edinburgh and contrived to lose by 5 gals to nil.  The ball used in such competitions differs from the one used in Scottish games in that it does not go where our players placed it, and appeared to have a mind of its own.  This disaster unfortunate occurrence was a sad event that came into my life on Thursday evening. I mourned through the whole of Friday and by Saturday morning I, along with all other 'Jambo's,' had recovered our strength and 'moved on' as they say.


The postman arrived, a happy cheery lad (he ought to be having an easy round!  It was twice the size when I did it mate!) and threw the post through the door (I wish he would open it first) with a cheery grunt. Naturally there was a bill for my neighbour, the only man I know who receives more of those than I do, and two for me!  One came from my sweetest niece, containing a programme from a concert she was involved in (Stravinsky piano piece) and was gratefully received.  The other was in a (used) Royal Mail envelope and contained this:-


      
It's a disgrace that he is allowed to use Royal Mail material for such activities.  I would complain to the management but I know that they would have given him the envelope!  Oooh I could spit!


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5 comments:

Relax Max said...

Well, not having a clue about even ONE thing you wrote about in this post, I will be forced to make this comment brief. In fact, since this post is completely Greek to me (footballs in my country NEVER bounce straight, and even a post is a big piece of wood pounded into the ground) it is a wonder I can comment at all, long OR short.

I know what an envelope is and I know what spit is.

Unknown said...

Nope, there is nothing that I could add that could make this piece anymore delightful (especially to me). By the way, did Henry grow up to be a cantankerous old coot, who now now lives around Essex?

Anonymous said...

But you are thought of, remembered. How grand!

A. said...

If it's any consolation Max, and I'm sure it isn't, I don't understand any of it either. But then I'm one of the five gals the other side got. Apparently.

Anonymous said...

Well I'm sure it's not the most embarrassing five goal demolishing at Tynecastle! http://bigrab.wordpress.com/2011/08/21/a-long-time-ago/