Thursday, 1 November 2007
Very depressed today. Not something I normally suffer. Self pity, feeling sorry for myself oh yes, been there and done that, but this is different. Felt a bit strange for a while now. The past week has seen me very agitated and irritable, although that word does not do my feelings justice! Mad axeman might be more appropriate!
Just don't put a chainsaw in my hand and then upset me will you!!!!
Not a nice time really. Care for nothing, nothing tastes, and energy levels both mentally and physically low. In fact the physical level is higher than the mental, as I can still do the exercise but the mind is not invigorated as it ought to be.
This morning I once again sauntered around to the dole office to sign on. This went well but when I got home I was overwhelmed by a desire to just sit there and, well, sit! I found myself saying 'I don't want a job!' over and over, and that is how I felt. I sometimes feel I am breaking up! There was a time I could not endure being unemployed. Not only is there no money there is no banter with those around you, and in the last job that is what kept us going. If the job is routine you need to have a laugh and get on with it, we did, and that is one thing I miss. But today I was not interested, even if banter was to be included. I just want to sit here, alone., in comfort, and ... well and what? I just want to sit there in the sun.....nothing else.
Something is wrong. The 'zip' has gone, although 'button' might be more me than 'zip!' This is not good.
'Dear Dr, the 'zip' has gone.'
'Your right, have a pill or two!'
'No thanks, I think I'll just despair mate!
Anyway, tonight I will attempt to laugh myself to sleep with the 'Punch Cartoon Album.'
I Highly recommend it!