Thursday, 24 January 2013

The Bell

Several days running the postman did not ring the bell.  One had the audacity to claim he had rung the bell and I didn't answer, the cheek.  I pressed it while he voiced his lies and it didn't work, I pressed again and it did.  He smirked and shrugged shoulders.  Wimp I thought.  The bell remained silent and several visitors, police, council, debt collectors, friends mostly, also indicated by moaning loudly that the bell was bust. 
I bought batteries.
I struggled on two tables, one upon another, to reach up and change batteries.
It didn't work.
Christmas approached.
I left bell until that was over.
Several times I had to visit the sorting office to collect parcels, visits doubled because the postman had not yet returned!  Made note to always collect next day!  When bell worked no parcels were sent!  Bah!
Christmas came and Christmas went.
New Year came and New Year went.
I went, to Wickes, for a bell and stuff for the sink, which is falling apart.
The bell was there at £14'99.
I left it there.
I bought stuff for sink.
Sloth Difficulties arose that made it hard to get down to B&Q for a cheap bell. 
Eventually I got there, they didn't have the one I needed.
Those they had were too dear.
A few days later I was back at Wickes for the £14'99 bell.
The efficient checkout lass took my cash with all the care of someone who didn't care.
Two days later I collected tallish furniture and placed this under bell.  I climbed up to the bell. 
Five minutes later I climbed back down for the right screwdriver!
With brute force and ignorance I removed the bust bell, (the spring had gone) carefully remembering where all the wires went.
The new bell was almost exactly the same as the old, but the holes for screws were all in different places!  Brute force and ignorance enabled me to fix the beast to the wall.  The dust can be dealt with later.
Wires, such as they were, were fixed.  
Batteries inserted.  
I clambered down, slowly, from a  great height.
It didn't work!
It still doesn't.
It's too cold to feel my fingers at the moment so it can wait!



Lee said...

Halfway through that exercise my patience would have been expended!

Stuff the bell. Get a door knocker instead...a brass one...not a tall blonde wrapped in a fur coat!

Or perhaps a hammer with a rope tied onto its handle and the rope attached to the door...that'd work! ;)

the fly in the web said...

I thought that this only happened to me....

Relax Max said...

How they tinkle, tinkle, tinkle,
In the icy air of night!
While the stars that oversprinkle
All the heavens, seem to twinkle
With a crystalline delight;
Keeping time, time, time,
In a sort of Runic rhyme,
To the tintinnabulation that so musically wells
From the bells, bells, bells, bells,
Bells, bells, bells -
From the jingling and the tinkling of the bells.

Relax Max said...

I just composed that on the back of an envelope during a TV commercial.

A. said...

Oh! Are you good at doorbells? Can you come and fix mine? It does dog barking and I don't know how to stop it. I would have liked some of Max's tintinnabulation but he doesn't visit me any more.

Jerry E Beuterbaugh said...

I often have a very loud ringing in my ears after interacting with you. I hope this helps.

Adullamite said...

Lee, I tend not to be technically minded....

Fly, Oh no, it's a regular occurrence around here.

Max, That brought a tear to my eye. That will be on RDGs page tomorrow!

Max, I believe you.

A, I'll send Max round. he knows about dogs.

Adullamite said...

Jerry, I fail to understand that......