O wad some Power the giftie gie us

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O wad some Power the giftie gie us
To see oursels as ithers see us!
It wad frae mony a blunder free us,
An' foolish notion:
What airs in dress an' gait wad lea'e us,
An' ev'n devotion! 

One thing recent times have shown me is another look at myself. Like you I have been much influenced by many things, including other peoples opinion of me. This can of course be very encouraging. The football coach that speaks of your ability, the boss that praises your honesty and work, and admiring friends who praise your artistic or practical abilities. It can also be destructive, only today a young lass muttered "Sod of Granddad," as I passed by, and she was at least forty! Folk you question your right to life when you accidentally allow the ball past you - for the eighth time can be exceedingly wounding, and parents, teachers and family can all leave a mark on the consciousness that may never leave. This can sometimes make it difficult to know just what you are capable off, or worse still, make it difficult to convince others you can, or cannot, do certain things. Their image often clashes with your own and when you know yourself this can cause many troubles with those around you!

 Recent times have convinced me of my true ability, although there are few opportunities that offer decent money for being a lazy fat slob. There are many who encourage me in the view that this is the most suitable employment however, usually those I once worked with. I have often been swayed willingly by peoples opinions of me. I have realised recently just how many I still carry, and just how wrong they were. From their point of view there was a reason to claim I had some ability in this or that, but at depth this was misleading. Now, as time passes by, I have a much more sober estimate (a phrase never found on Auld Reekie Rants) of my abilities, other folks remain convinced of their opinion! The best way to determine whether friends, bosses, or others opinions regarding you are correct is of course to put them to the test in the real world, a world where strangers regard you in the same manner you regard them, and they soon indicate your failings, as you would theirs!  

My thoughts originated when I looked at that cat in the picture. Is this a reflection of the image we offer the world, tough and strong, while inside we are like a kitten? Or could it be that within each kitten we have the talent to be a roaring lion? Some will see us as lions even when we ourselves are curling up inside like a kitten, others note the kitten dressed with a false mane. What strange creatures we can be? I spent many years being encouraged by people, and fooled into misunderstanding much of my capabilities, I trusted much of the opinion and spent a long time attempting to be what I was not. It showed, oh how it showed, but I didn't notice! I can see it now of course, and am very glad those people who also saw this are far, far away now. 

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Do you know what I am talking about? I did when I started, but I appear to have gone off in a daze somewhere. This at least shows that teacher who slapped my legs a lot was correct when she said I was dozy. Mind you I was 37 at the time.......