He Men!

You may remember the adverts that once adorned so many magazines and newspapers. The slogans, “Are you a seven stone weakling?” and “Do you get sand kicked in your face?” and the like. Charles Atlas offered the chance to develop your physique by use of ‘Dynamic Tension’ and 'Be a man' and this was irresistible to many. As a stick like youth I believed in Charles Atlas and his promise of muscular dynamism, I bought the course! I expected, as promised, that it would arrive in weekly instalments however it came in a large, damaged, brown envelope that must have had the boys at the sorting office laughing. Believe me I know how they laugh at the things that fall out of your envelopes! I of course mentioned nothing about this to my parents and when the package was delivered the smirk on my dad’s face indicated that he had been peeking in through the gaps in the brown envelope. The fact that he said nothing made my embarrassment worse! I stole away into the bedroom and began to practice ‘Dynamic Tension.’

The whole things was a well developed exercise course, if that is the right way to put it, and mostly consisted, in the pages I actually followed, of tensing the muscles in a variety of poses, against one another. It did not last long. I suppose it did not last long for any of the kids who answered the ads, and there must have been many as the ‘Charles Atlas course’ was famed world wide. Many years later I also fell for the, then popular. ‘Bullworker’ which would also develop muscles and for a mere ‘five minutes a day’ at that! Had I put in the effort with this I would now be a muscle bound oaf instead of just an overweight one. The ‘Bullworker’ sits near me as I right and every so often I have a go. It is amazing that after so many years I find I can do less and less on the thing! I suppose the ingrained dust does not help.

Charles Atlas was born Angelo Siciliano in Italy in 1892. Moving to the States among the 'huddled masses' that crowded the steam ships in the early part of the twentieth century. He later developed a passion, or was it obsession, with body building. He claims he attempted many types of exercise systems until he saw an animal in the zoo stretching and he came up with 'Dynamic Tension!' Or so the story goes. His advertisements for his body building system made him famous and the company still exists today enabling skinny young men to dream of punching the lights out of bullies world wide. He wore out in 1972.

This came to mind today for no good reason, although the number of young men with bulging biceps attempting to entice young lassies throughout the nation shows that my reasoning in the past was not mine alone. Which reminds me of the last time I went to Cramond beach where I had sand kicked in my face by a seven stone weakling!