I have been fair scunnered quiet a lot in recent days. Over eighteen months on the dole, having nothing to offer and few jobs available often leaves me this way. All I need is a Daily Mail reader to cry, 'Get these people to work and out of the pubs where they spend their days drinking my money,' and I can appreciate the motivation of the local axe murderer, (and there is a few of those around here I can tell you!). However after sending out letters and CV's, talking to anyone who might have an opening, e-mailing a wide variety of uninterested employers, and applying for totally unsuitable work just because it's available can be depressing. It is all the more depressing when you really believe you have a good chance of work and then get a letter, that is if you get a letter, turning you down.
We regret to inform you that someone younger/fitter/more female/who
can actually do the job/and get on with us lot, has been given the work.
Please accept our regrets, we are doing OK, so sod off and die!
The failure becomes more noticeable when watching other folks make a right hash of their work while knowing you could do it yourself better than they. 'They' however have the face that fits, the right age, know the boss or wear tighter jeans than your £3 offering from Tesco! But it was ever thus! Life is not fair, and I have a bucket full of torn Lotto tickets to prove it! Just why do inane folk who will greedily consume (and waste) several million pounds on themselves and their chav progeny win the Lottery? Why does it not go to those who will use the cash for the benefit of mankind? Well, for some of them anyway.... But in truth this is how it has always been. Life is not fair, and you just have to get on with it!
(Short break while I burst into tears – again)
Now I should not be in this position. I know God loves me, and recently reminded me it was he was went looking for me, not me for him. I didn't care a whit about him but he came looking for me! Fantastic! But while this is good it does not mean life is smooth! After all, if Jesus went for a job and another, more needy, also applied, would he not step aside and let them have the work? For him the other would be more important than himself, and God would supply his needs anyway – even if they did not meet his wants! Our wants and desires do not fit in with our ability to obtain them or his to provide! When unemployed and in a state of poverty it is really amazing what we can live without. Now I am not starving, the days of the 'soup kitchen' are thankfully gone in the UK, but in many parts of the world there are riots caused by food shortages. Should I complain? Travel is limited, I have not been in Edinburgh since February last year, and will not be there soon unless someone falls ill. I know what you are saying, 'They have not missed you!' And you would be right! But it means I cannot buy for others what I wish to buy, and this is a blow at times.
Something will turn up. I suppose I must look for, and accept, anything that is offered, even if I do not like it. I am not unwilling to take the lowest place, in fact that may be a step upwards! And of course I am actually looking and not finding much available. So, with a clear conscience I look for work and enjoy the free time, and continue to lose weight slowly. I can enjoy the blogs, read my books, (Livy's 'History of Rome' at the moment) and exercise as I have just endured this morning. Those dumbbells are difficult to lift eh? The schedule says they must be increased to a full kilo altogether tomorrow and I am not looking forward to that! Phew!
Now, is it time for a coffee break yet......?