Beasties

The picture is not perfect as it was taken at a distance, a long distance, from where this chap was 'entertaining' the kids with beasties.  What you cannot see are the crowds of kids shuffling forwards to touch the great white brute he has around his neck.  All of them were keen to be entwined by this, er... thing. When I was a lad we knew better and kept well away and instead looked for furry creatures like cats and dogs certainly not snakes!  
It gets worse!
Among the beasties there were iguana type things, including ans Australian dragon.  A creature that survives in the desert.  I rather liked him, but there again I am used to dragons, and Aussie ones as well!  He was cute but as I said it gets worse, several of the kids were photographed with the tarantula sitting on their head!  No thaaannnk yeeewwww I and several others were heard to say as we made our way to the door.  As can be expected the kids had a wonderful time and the adults have difficulty sleeping.  Every movement just out of eyeline is a beastie on the make!  

   

No 11 Downing Street.  The Chancellor of the Exchequer lives here.......

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Laff!

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Clean up.

The washing has been done, hung up over every suitable space and dried by evening for the most part. The hoover has run about the floor chasing the dust and forcing it to hang about in the air for hours after it was supposed to be sucked up into the depths of the machine.  Good grief even the sinks got themselves cleaned.  How is it something so close to water can be so filthy?  I fail to understand how the water manages to leave behind so much stour!  Well at least that is those jobs done for a few months.  

As the dust returned from whence it had arisen I decided to clean up the laptop and download all those files taking up space and too important to loose.  Such a simple idea but then it goes wrong.  Not that anything went wrong it was just that the discs I use to download stuff onto take forever to format.  I was convinced I had prepared all these beforehand and discovered I had failed to prepare any!  So I began, first I had to check all the previous discs badly field with things in a mixed order.  At least I discovered some pictures hidden for ages past if nothing else, then I discovered that nothing could be deleted from those old discs, which was a pity!    

Hours passed as I removed files of pictures to one disc after another.  Museum files here, picture museum files there, Great War here, other Great War there, on and on and I have hardly started yet.  I also began to clear out the links. Line after line of links I never use even allowing for some being important to hold on to so many might never be used again.  Just why some were kept is now a mystery and so many no longer work, the page long gone as the owner probably has too.  

Added to this I was searching through the Memorial website in an effort to update the info there and this also takes so much time.  However there is a reward in that new details arise and some interesting info comes out.  This however could go on for ever.  

     

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One of Those Days....

This has been one of those days where nothing goes right.   Nothing goes right online, in the street, at shops, talking to people, nowhere did things work right, people were always in the way, doing wrong, being unhelpful, and I am glad the day is over.  Now I sit here in the cool of the day, watching the sun depart, knowing that whatever else happens nothing now can go wro


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Lazy Days

Wolfenfotography

That's me!  Two days with nothing to do, or at least nothing to do that got done! No late night football, early to bed, rising before awake meant back to bed and today I was full of energy, more or less.  How lovely to do little when there is much to do.  I was so full of energy I even cleaned the place, although this would not impress any woman it is cleaner than it was with that grime over everything.  

Tomorrow it is back to work, Romans at the museum all day and I am in the shop!  Oh goody, all the moaners will come to me.  Just as long as there is no requirement to wear a toga I will survive!

Daily Mail

The internet is a wonderful place.  This foto of Steven Spielberg next to a dead Triceratops has led to thousands commentating on how nasty this man is.  The replies condemned the man for killing this animal and few stopped to consider how he managed to kill a dinosaur that died out several million years beforehand.  Still that is the web for you!  Have any off you ever fallen for something as obvious as this?  I have but have forgotten (cough) what it was.

Quarter Finals

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Lazy Post

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Overwork, not enough sleep.

Being broken down and pooped yesterday I did nothing but grumble, and that's not like me. Today I forced myself awake and managed to work for at least fifteen minutes!  Then I had to pop down to the museum to cover for a lass who was not coming in.  She came in!  Bah!  Typical woman!  I could have spent that time asleep working.  Stopping off on the way home I bought meat, yes MEAT!  It was reduced.  I burnt it.

That sums up my exciting life just now.

Today we hear the Labour Party offering to reduce young peoples dole money until they obtain certain educational qualifications.  Why?  Because too many cannot find jobs and this will make them better candidates for any openings.
What rot!

The reason there are so many unemployed young is simple, there are no jobs! Not only have many thousand young folks arrived from eastern Europe, happy to accept low wages as they are higher than wages back home, but any vacancy has three hundred applicants!  Two and a quarter million are unemployed, the answer, cut the dole!  This from a Labour opposition that was built by the working class!  

The reason for this nonsense, the desperation of the failing Labour Leader Ed Milliband to get the votes from 'Middle England!'  He must appeal to these people as he thinks they consider all on welfare as robbing them through their taxes.  This is nonsense as the vast majority would take a job if it was available but the cost of creating jobs is to high, much better to attack the unemployed by using Tory values.

    

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Blogger Slow!!!

Why is Blogger so slow these days?  Why does it fail to 'save' constantly?  Why does the Comment Box take sooooooo long to come down?  On too many occasions I find 'service unavailable' when it is available.  Just what is going in?  Are they upgrading the servers or have they all died?  I think we should be told.  

What happens next.....?

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Tuesday Laffs

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The Saturday Night Movie

No News, Make Something Up!

Charlie, the nations trainee King, has we are informed said something quite outrageous.  During his latest visit somewhere or other, not sure where I really didn't bother to investigate too deeply, he encountered a one time Polish WW2 refugee.  She claims not to be able to remember the exact words used (hmmm) by the Prince concerning her war experiences but claims it was something along the lines of 'Putin is acting like Hitler.'  I remember her statement with the same authority she remembers his.  

There are no major news stories at the moment that is why as I brought my bleary mind into the world before six this morning the radio headlines were filled with Charlie endangering the world.  His throw away comment, if actually made, would harm diplomatic relations with Russia it was claimed.  This would be seen as a criticism of the Ukraine situation which in turn would cause a breakdown in relationships worldwide and possibly the Third World War!  At least that is what the 'Daily Mail' appeared to make out of it.  A word to a woman who we have never heard off taken out of context to make a story.  I am not sure what happened to the wifey but surely her story would be more interesting, but I guess sell less papers. MP's on the prowl for votes tomorrow are being questioned by earnest cretins from the media re this shocking statement.  TV and Radio debate the empty story for hours to fill space, and the papers are in a terrible tizz.  Prince Charles himself of course will be giving a little smile. Whatever he says will be abused by the folks living like leeches of his existence.  No doubt a member of the Foreign Office hierarchy will now be writing to him for 'clarification,' I guess he cares not a jot. His tactful father has taught him how to get attention well.  

BBC

A non story but at least it pushes the lost sailors of the main page.  Now I am sorry indeed a small yacht has gone down, the loss of four men at one go is a tragedy indeed.  However there is something not right about the urgent demand from the relatives that the US coastguard continue to search long after their official search has ended.  An official search that had already been extended beyond the normal length.  Quickly, very quickly, 150,000 signatures appear on a petition demanding the UK government makes the US continue the search. An expensive and efficient organisation appears overnight pleading for rescue of these men.  Media men are available at the beck and call, until Charles took a hand that is, 24/7 it appears.  

Something is not right about this.

Concern for the lost we all understand.  Pressurising governments for help is also what we would all do, however the unspoken belief that these are middle class folk with money and therefore more important than other lost craft remains.  The whole world, the UK government, or at least the US Coastguard, must do what they say.  The US have indeed continued to search, the RAF now is also sending a Hercules C-130 to contribute also.  If only this government gave the same priority to old folks in the NHS as they are doing for four wealthy Hooray Henries lost at sea, maybe of course they are not wealthy or important!

   

Daydreaming

Danbury

There was a competition in a magazine today offering a prize of a campervan! How very Hippy I thought and slipped into a day of dreaming of travelling the country, stopping off in out of the way places, snoring to my hearts content in distant lands like 'up north' or Wales.  The freedom of the open road, but not at a very high speed I imagine, enjoying distant parts of the land without worrying about expensive accommodation.  That's for me I thought.
The lack of money that running such a vehicle would cost does not disturb dreams, only reality. Therefore I could see myself parking alongside the wide empty white beaches on some deserted part of the highland coast, parked under some ancient castle, drinking coffee brewed on the primus stove while wallowing in the view of deserted silent giant hills.  The crowded roads, cost of petrol, or standing at the side of the highway while the man from the AA worked under the van attempting to replace the bits that had eroded away and fallen off never at any time entered my dream world, I was good like that.  
At first sight it does appear a jolly good way to see the country, to visit people and places at the moment far out of my ken, but the cost will always upset a dream, even if the vehicle itself is free.  Ah well, maybe I will not buy their yoghurt anyway, it would be a tragedy if I won and had the brute parked outside tempting me to go visit relatives.  Actually that last thought might not be too strong!  
What are the chances of winning any competition?  Possibly a couple of million people will not the competition on the side of the tubs of various products, the majority not being interested as it means little to them, they have transport, the kids would hate it, and therefore the numbers entering would be a mere few thousand, possibly.   How many would forget to buy the goods? How many forget or fail to enter?  So the numbers with whom we compete lessens and we have more chance here than we have with the Lottery.  Could it be the computerisation of shop goods can tell the company whether the individual entering often buys their products, therefore enabling then to reach the 'right' person for the prize?  As I have never bought whatever it is they sell I would have little chance.  
Ah well, if the rain stops I will get the bike out instead tomorrow.....

 

My Exciting Life!

Giving a revelation of how exciting my life can be I present a picture of a wall. Not just any wall but the wall surrounding a shopping centre.  Not just any shopping centre but one full of clothes the original shops failed to sell, in short rejects!  I suppose I should feel at home here.  The place was quiet, possibly because the kids have not yet left school, they throng this place after leaving adolescents being very concerned with their outfits.  For myself this was like a day out.  Not staring into a laptop hurting my eyes and not finding what I am looking for given a miss for a while.  That job made worse by the machine playing up as they do with things disappearing and suddenly showing up again. I had at one time to use the system restore point and go back a few days thereby finding one or two things missing, not that I can remember what they were of course.  Now everything has to be resigned in, or accepted by the Firewall or whatever.  Good job I am not one to complain that's all I can say.  

There is no complaining about buying three T-shirt, 'XL,' and trying them out at home to realise that after one watch they return to 'L,' as they always do!  Why do Bangladeshi's not understand that we are ever so slightly fatter than they?  I realise that the £5:99 that I paid for these shirts would pay half the wages of the sweatshop but at least they could allow for a stone of ugly fat, surely?  I suspect sadly that the word 'fat,' is meaningless to the majority of the downtrodden in Bangladesh.  The difference between the lives of the workers there and the more expensive shops here is huge.  How lucky we are to be born in the grumbling grasping west.

I have once again resorted to eating less in a vain effort to lose weight. Topping this with a more stressfull active day, clearing up the front of the building, exercising for oooh five minutes, walking the streets looking for dropped coins, and taking the free bus to the glamorous shops. Actually for me there is almost nothing worth looking at there, quite what folks see in it fails me as the bigger town shops are better.

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What.....?

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Friday Frolic

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Idiots...

Idiot # 1
I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the
poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because
she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that
the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter
into the hospital. She calmed down, and at the end of the conversation
happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in 
order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter 
into the Emergency room right away.


Idiot # 2
Seems that a year ago, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to
steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting
it out of the plane and home. When they took it for a float on the river,
a Coast Guard helicopter coming towards them surprised them. It turned
out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that
activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.


Idiot # 3 - A true story out of San Francisco:
A man, wanting to rob a downtown Bank of America, walked into the branch
and wrote "this iz a stikkup. Put all your muny in this bag." While
standing in line, waiting to give his note to the teller, he began to 
worry that someone had seen him write the note and might call the police 
before he reached the teller's window. So he left the Bank of America 
and crossed the street to Wells Fargo.

After waiting a few minutes in line, he handed his note to the Wells
Fargo teller. She read it and, surmising from his spelling  errors that 
he wasn't the brightest light in the harbor, told him that she could not 
accept his stickup note because it was written on a Bank of America deposit 
slip and that he would either have to fill out a Wells Fargo deposit slip
or go back to Bank of America.

Looking somewhat defeated, the man said, "OK" and left. He was arrested
a few minutes later, as he was waiting in line back at Bank of America.


Idiot # 4
A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured
his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the
mail a ticket for $40 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he
sent the police department a photograph of $40. Several days later, he
received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this 
time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $40.


Idiot # 5
Guy walked into a little corner store with a shotgun and demanded all the
cash from the cash drawer. After the cashier put the cash in a bag, the
robber saw a bottle of scotch that he wanted behind the counter on the
shelf. He told the cashier to put it in the bag as well, but the cashier
refused and said, "Because I don't believe you are over 21." The robber
said he was, but the clerk still refused to give it to him because he
didn't believe him.

At this point the robber took his driver's license out of his wallet and
gave it to the clerk. The clerk looked it over, agreed that the man was
in fact over 21 and he put the scotch in the bag. The robber then ran from
the store with his loot. The cashier promptly called the police and gave the
name and address of the robber that he got off the license.                           

They arrested the robber two hours later.


Idiot # 6
A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers.
The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled
first bandit shot him.


Idiot # 7 Arkansas:
Seems this guy wanted some beer pretty badly. He decided that he'd just
throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and
run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the
window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the
head, knocking him unconscious. Seems the liquor store window was made
of Plexi-Glass. The whole event was caught on videotape.


Idiot # 8 Ann Arbor:
The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger
King in Ypsilanti, Michigan at 12:50 A.M., flashed a gun and demanded cash.
The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register
without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they
weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. 

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Laff!

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