A Problem Solved

I had cause to drag my weary bloated body outside into the sunshine today. From the north facing window I laughed at the English attitude of wearing shorts and T-shirts simply because the sun is shining. The cold biting wind howling up the street appears to go through them and they don't notice this! I have to laugh. However I put on my cap and jacket and made my way to the computer shop. I ignored the dank, cheap looking PC shop round the corner, the one with the dubious employees, and went to a safe reputable company. I was after a filter. I was assured by one of said company talking on local radio yesterday that this was the answer to my problem. The problem was that I could not use the PC and phone at the same time, one or the other was OK but not both together at it ought to be on broadband.

The shop was expensive, and the man there as cheerful and helpful as I would be had I spent the night sleeping rough in a railway station in mid January! So I disturbed you fixing someones machine, no doubt at great expense, and you had to sell me £4:95 worth of filter, which cost the company 66pence I presume, so sorry! As I questioned why it was different from the one I had in my hand you could have explained they came in a variety of shapes rather than be dumbfounded as I clearly was. Sorry I asked! However, in spite of my ignorant doubts and much confusion, it works! Now I can use both PC and phone at the same time. Nobody calls of course! I will set up the ansafone tomorrow and discover just how few people actually call! Not counting spam and bailiffs.

On the way back I wandered around by what we here call a river. Now having been brought up overlooking the Firth of Forth, which is well over a mile wide directly in front of me, I have to call this burbling stream of six to ten feet wide, a river? Tsk! Certainly during winter it helpfully bursts its banks and floods those houses thoughtfully built in the flood plain, but really to me it remains a wee burn, not a river like they ought to be. Still, as the sun shone and I began to sweat a little, I got a couple of snaps of the water, managing to avoid the plastic bottles, 'Costa Coffee' cups and floating bodies that pass by. Once again i could listen to the birdies sing in the trees, the water gurgling by and the splash as another urchin falls in when mum sits there smoking funny cigarettes. All part of life's rich panoply I guess. Crivvens it was warm when I got back mind. I was sweating like a pig, and here I was with my cap on and the jacket, cold in winter air, proving heavy and clammy in the sun. T- shirt tomorrow!

Saturn

Now here's a thing, an item in the 'Daily Mail' worth reading! Yes indeed here is a novelty! However the fact that this paper is not objecting to some misdemeanour of the Labour government must not detract from the fact that these pictures are worth looking at. Instead of whining about some nasty politically correct behaviour they have decided to show us something interesting. Here we have pictures of Saturn that far distant planet with the rings around it. Brilliant! The pictures come from Nasa's 'Cassini' spacecraft which has been flying around the planet for a couple of years now. The spacecraft took five years to reach Saturn, photographing the planets it passed on the way like some demented tourist, and will go around the planet another sixty times. Lucky spacecraft!

There is something compelling about space. We all wish to believe that there are little green men wandering around desperate to meet us, and some claim to have met these creatures. I confess to a cynical approach to these accounts, especially from women who go into far to much detail as to what the wee green men were interested in. However there are billions of stars and planets out there, some say they are as far as 13 billion light years away even! Now that is far! However as the light has only just reached us it may be these galaxies are in fact no longer in existence? It may well be one day they may appear to fall from the sky? I believe there is life of a sort out there Jim, but "Not as we know it."

Click the link and see more great pictures of Saturn, it is worth a look!

What's Wrong With Words?

Now I am getting annoyed, and you know I am always so placid usually, but irked I am becoming. Once again I am plagued with folk making me their 'friend' but not bothering to read my page then expecting me to read theirs or, worse, just click their 'Adsense.' Sorry no can do folks. I do not need yet another smartie telling me how to make money with blogs, I have my own financial advisor (who has yet to pay for the stuff I put on his second blog by the way!) and have no interest in reading your adverts. So please sling your collective hooks!

However the thing that annoys me most this bright sunny evening (and one does not say that too often) is a blog with nothing but videos on each post! Now a blog specialising in photography is a good thing,(and we all know one lass who is very good at the pictures don't we?), there are some wonderful pictures to be seen on the web and each opens up doors into new worlds - usually! However a blog that just gives videos is lazy! I have posted three I think, and each one important and relevant to my minds eye but I think the purpose of a blog is to say something for yourself, not let others do this for you. There is no requirement to be articulate, as you will have noticed, you just have to speak for yourself! Say what you think whatever the purpose of your blog is and say it yourself! It can be humorous, worthy or just howling at the moon, a fine way to spend the night I can tell ye, as long as it is your own thoughts and ideas. Posting videos of favoured sites may be good if done occasionally but not all the time! The one that turned up today made me pine for some of my favourite blogs. These are enjoyable, well written and honest. Whether personal, with a specific purpose in mind, humorous or just filing in the day I enjoy them. They take me into other worlds and bring new friends into my life. A video however interesting cannot do this and one after another just means I pass on to other places. Just think what you have lost? On the other hand we shall forget that last bit shall we?




Now the intellect of the general run of Glaswegians has always, in my humble view, been low. The nature of the beast has been revealed to us far too often for anyone in Scotland to misunderstand their limited appreciation of life and all it has. So when it was announced that the 'Old Firm,' that is the Rangers and Celtic football clubs, have another possible chance to move into the English money spinning league we all had our opinions as to whether this is a good thing or not. Now consider this. Rangers are a club that at the end of the 19th century realised that their main income source came from those around them, many of whom worked in the shipyards of Govan. Many of these had emigrated from Belfast and other Northern Ireland towns and brought with them their 'Protestant, 'Orange Order' bigotry. No Roman Catholic was allowed to work in the shipyards then. By playing on this and ensuring they were the only side in the area (they helped Partick Thistle move to northern Glasgow for this purpose) they became known as the 'protestant team in Glasgow. Meanwhile on the other side of Glasgow a new team had been created by an RC Priest and became known as the Catholic club, Celtic FC. While Rangers played on the 'orangemen' Celtic played on their Irish roots. The 'Home rule' debate at the turn of the century almost led to civil war which was only averted by the coming of the 'Great War' in 1914, exacerbated the problem and polarised feelings between the clubs.

Today this polarisation has once again been encouraged by the recent troubles. Rangers fans waving 'Union Flags' at their games, something no other Scots football club would do, only Scots flags would be flown at them! Indeed so desperate to be seen as linked to Westminster some Rangers fans refer to themselves as 'British' and not 'Scots' and even go so far as to wear 'England' shirts! Of course the rise once again of Scottish Nationalism has also increased their desire for the Union. This leaves them ignoring a thousand years of English oppression to give support to a Northern Irish cause to which they have no connection. Such treasonable actions rightly being denounced by true Scots. Celtic fans in the mean time have flourished as Scots and Irish, or 'Plastic Paddies' as the term goes. many believe in Scotland yet when push comes to shove support Ireland first. Neither club grace Scotland with this bigotry and both have worked together so many times while encouraging hatred between their fans to ensure a more committed support which brings in the cash. The less intelligent, found often in the west of Scotland, rally blindly to their cause.

Here in this picture we see the result of such 'loyalty,' and the effects it has on the befuddled Glasgow brain. Here we have a TV company in a pub asking Rangers fans to hold up a card showing either a Scots flag or an English one, to indicate where they wish to see their team play. "Do you want to see Rangers play in the Scottish Premier League or the English Premier League?" The answer from this Rangers man's drink sozzled brain is to wear an English football shirt, something no Scotsman could ever do, and wave the card featuring the Scots flag! The sad fact is the wee laddie will not see the irony (look 'irony' up in a dictionary Yanks) in this! This guy also has the right to vote you realise!

Nothingness

That is the inside of my head today, nothingness! Nothing has occurred as far as I can see. All the items listed to be done have been checked, the exercise walk (my knees ache so that happened), the posting of the packet up north (the receipt is there so that happened), The form given by the dole office has been sent off, (either that or it has walked as it is not here), the dinner was cooked and eaten (the stomach pump is here so that happened), yet I seem to have done nothing. My head had not concentrated on anything constructive all say. When I was walking in the sunshine (sunshine!) my mind was not with me, it was everywhere but somewhere useful. I sit here to do something constructive and an hour later I am still playing 'TechTris' (don't ask I've lost the link!). This is the third or fourth day this has happened and I am getting annoyed now. I was going to get annoyed earlier but I forgot.

I remember this however.
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment."
The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

Sometimes you just feel down don't you. Virus's (or is it Virii?) make you feel low, circumstances, nourishment, and being a miserable git all combine to let things feel worse than they are. Indeed all around the world folk are in a very bad way. Starvation, natural disasters and events cause grief and folks everywhere are worse of than yourself, like the suicidal twin who killed her sister by mistake. There again there is the old man we call 'Spiderman,' it's not that he has special super powers, he just finds it difficult to get out of the bath.Time for cocoa I think....

Another Spring Morning

Another chance to wander through the park and enjoy the aroma of wet vegetation. Another chance to watch gray clouds scud by. Another chance to watch drookit squirrels chase one another through soggy wet leaves and frighten the birds happily ensconced there. Another day in which to wonder why the shoes on the feet are on the feet considering the holes in the soles of each one. Still, you can tell it is Spring as the weather is warmer and the people passing by are wearing thin shirts and Spring fashions. Naturally they are soaking wet but being English they have not realised it yet!

Back to Work Tuesday

The world returns to normal as folk head back to work, well most of them. Many kids are still of school and of those that have gone back many have skipped it anyway. The world turns once again, well not here, the 'Man Flu' still left me woozy this morning, will these bugs never end? So I sat here and 'rested' instead of following the usual course. The cloud cover remained, the sun occasionally shone through, but I just let my head throb and my mind wander. It didn't go far!
Tomorrow I will return to the job hunt, finish the jobs that lie abandoned, and go back to bed several times. (Actually I will not do the latter. I just say that to upset them who are working.)

Easter Monday Holiday

Yes indeed it is a holiday.
You can tell by the mist and the occasional rain.

Easter Morning

Saturday Evening

This is a Saturday Evening Post.........

Good Friday

This morning I awoke at five thirty and noticing the sun was rising, the sky blue and the streets empty I decided to get on the bike and saunter along the road. The thing is my knee problem has meant I walk at a slight angle and this has resulted in my other knee developing muscle trouble. The bad weather has limited my walking and cycling and now I have resumed the muscles are clamming up. After sitting for a while I really struggle to get going. So the opportunity to exercise and loosen up was not to be missed. A long straight, gentle, run down Stane Street and round the old haunts eased me into the day.

After dumping the bike I walked around in an attempt to avoid stiffness. This was excellent as the birds were singing in the trees and all around fabulous bird song was heard. Small birds, unseen high in the trees sang out so loud they must have been heard miles away. A thrush watched as another small bird fought to bring a worm out of the ground, and somewhere what sounded like a grouse or something of that kind, called from the wooded gardens of the big houses. As there was little traffic the natural sounds could be appreciated more. However I suspect the birds and squirrels and other beasties helping themselves to the chips and half eaten burgers left by the cretins who drop the stuff as they wend their way home from the towns pubs appreciate their breakfast more than I enjoyed their sound.

Wandering down I took a few pictures of the old houses that reflect the wealth that was once found down that way. While one or two pubs still exist all the shops have been turned into homes and the once bustling bakery. These houses still cost a fortune as the middle classes spend over the odds for listed buildings that enable them to live amongst 'their people' even if the buildings themselves, while romantic, are somewhat uncongenial. In fact this road is very busy and the traffic passing by not only shakes the buildings but leaves them covered in black filth. This does not deter as they are mixing with the folks who matter! My pictures are not that special, if you like that sort of thing try A Changing Life, a laid back relaxing blog, or My Thai Friend, some good pics and reading there.

As I passed I found a damaged female blackbird sitting in the road. I attempted to pick it up and place it in the park itself as there was not much else I could do for the beast. However it flapped away from me and I was just upsetting her more. She must have hit one of the few passing cars and appears to have damaged herself underneath, possibly just her leg, and hopefully this will heal with time. Had I caught her, apart from putting the bird in the park to avoid traffic, I have no idea what I could have done.

Good Friday, the day we remember Jesus went to the cross for us. The world continues on its way, ignoring him for the most part. It was ever thus. Jesus chose to reveal himself to the world through his people, and the church spread throughout the world not by spectacular events, which fade, but by a changed people. If Jesus people lived the way he told them to it would spread further today. Jesus reaches folks one at a time as they respond to his actions on the cross.

Hot Toddy

One of the benefits of suffering, with no sympathy from womankind, is the option to turn to a hot toddy! So to relieve the aches, the temperature changes, the throat and the cough problems I shuffled along to Sainsburys and infected a few dozen staff and customers, although they only realise this now of course. I left with my whisky, jar of overpriced honey (funny how the booze is always on offer and the food keeps rising in price) and knowing they would not supply hot water to go with this I wended my way home. This of course is a wonderful way in which to deal with 'Man Flu,' and please not 'Man Flu' is of course very different from the sniffle which affects women. 'Man Flu' is a disease, not a minor chill caught listening to other folks conversations at keyholes, or standing in draughts gossipping about things that do not concern you. 'Man Flu' originates with a virus of astonishing power, if it affected woman it would of course cause certain death, however men are built with a more sturdy frame and will, with difficulty, fight of the brute. As science has yet to find a cure for this terror we must resort to time honoured answers, 'Hot Toddy' is one of the most effective.

Now as you know I am not one to complain, and I have enjoyed constant drinking of these toddies and the pleasure it has brought me, however I decided to fore go these today and return to the real world and I am surprised. I am surprised to notice lots of spiders crawling up and down the window and my hands shaking somewhat. Maybe I need another toddy.......?

Tony Makes His Move

As you know there is a position arising for 'President of the EU.' Tony Blair has made it clear he wishes to accept this post, although it may not yet be offered to him, and today there is a report on one of his moves in this direction. The Independent newspaper covers a story in which Tony is stating the Pope has it wrong about homosexuals. Now I find this fascination for a couple of reasons.

The first is of course his political nous in realising that by making it clear his attitude is 'Politically Correct' he immediately gains much support from the powers behind the throne. Looking to the fashion of the day and jumping on any bandwagon going is Tony's way! He realises that by opposing the Roman Catholic Church, and the Pope in particular, he has swung a large number of the right people in his direction. The left leaning members will see this as a brave and timely action, and note how he has allowed homosexuality to be regarded as normal in the UK, alongside the encouraging of abortion also. Definitely PC in many minds, and brave enough to oppose the Pope also. Tony is half way there to be President, and we know how much he likes the presidential style. His wife, known as 'Cherie Booth' at 'work,' but 'Mrs Cherie Blair' when making money on the back of his name and position, will obviously be pleased with the money this brings in. There is nothing so admirable as a 'socialist' on the make!

There is another small point that comes to mind here. The bible, the book Christians must base their opinions upon, tells us clearly that homosexuality is wrong, the RC church call it a clear 'sin!' To decide that 'times have changed' means we can alter biblical truths appears somewhat arrogant or not thought out properly, especially from one who has only recently had the courage to stand up and be admitted to the church he now wishes to instruct. How many have joined the church, any church, and decided to amend those bits they did not like? Far too many in truth, and we have all been there I can assure you. However the bible is not just a rule book. This is Gods Revelation to man and as such contains eternal truths not passing fashions. Covering several thousand years, and informing us, as Thucydides knew two thousand five hundred years ago, that human nature does not change,and if you claim to belong to a religion you must obey what it says, especially when ignorant it seems of its main teachings. Now I realise the Roman church has many faults and that this pope speaks for no Christians in reality, however, he has at least studied the biblical approach. Maybe Tony should do the same?

I wonder if the pope will reply to his man? If so he could ask tony why he went into Iraq? he could point out the dead children, thousands who died from the effect of bomb and shell strewn over the land. He could explain why hundreds of British troops die both there and in Afghanistan because he and George W Bush wanted the oil and invented tales of WMD. There are lots of questions the pope could ask Tony, I hope he asks them!

Half Hangit Maggie

'Half Hangit Maggie' was the term given to one Margaret Dickson in the 1720's.
As a young lass in 1723, possibly only eighteen years of age, she was deserted, or dumped, by her husband and moved from the fish selling in Mussleburgh to the border town of Kelso. Here she found employment in an Inn and settled for a while. However a woman's needs are manifold and she fulfilled hers with the son of the Inn and fell pregnant. Divorce was not an option, so pregnancy at that time was unwise. To avoid being thrown out she concealed the growing bump although surely someone must have noticed? Such anxiety must have contributed to the child dying shortly after birth. Maggie attempted to hide the child's body by drowning it in the River Tweed but could not bring herself to do so and hide the corpse by the river bank.

Once discovered it did not take long to trace this child to Maggie and she was taken for trial in Edinburgh where she was sentenced to hang. Today I fear she would be given counselling and if thought cruelly guilty possibly an 'Anti Social Behaviour Order' or maybe a fine. On the 2nd of September 1724, the family alongside the Edinburgh mob attended the gibbet in the Grassmarket. There the lassie was hanged for the correct length of time, and to ensure completion the executioner pulled down on her legs to ensure she was dead. How often he must have done this, and one is left wondering what such an occupation did to his soul? In recent years hanging was confined to murder but until the early eighteen hundreds many were hanged for minor thefts and even debt! What went through the minds of men employed in such work?

In the seventeen hundreds anatomical research in Scotland was limited to freshly hung criminals and as Maggie was taken down and placed in the coffin her family provided there arose a stramash as medical students attempted to obtain her body for dissection. I suppose a twenty two year old female body was worth further inspection, even after death! The crowd intervened and the trainee doctors were disappointed, however some report damage to the coffin because of the struggle. I suspect coffins were somewhat 'cheap and cheerful' (Is this the right phrase?) at that time. There is a reasonable distance to walk on the journey to Inveresk churchyard, where she was to be interred, and the mourners were glad to stop for refreshment at Peffermill. Passing workmen heard noises coming from the coffin and were, not unnaturally, intrigued! The lid was opened and Maggie, somewhat confused sat up. The reaction of those around her does not appear to have been recorded however some astonishment may have occurred! Blood was taken by a phlebotomist, 'blood letting' being seen as a regular cure at the time, and under orders of the local magistrate she was taken into Mussleburgh where she spent the night. For a few days the lass was somewhat delirious and confused and complained of a painful neck, no surprise there! However Margaret managed to visit the church on the Sabbath where a large crowd attended, less to worship than to 'see the show!'

Here the difference between Scots law, very influenced by Calvinistic biblical interpretation, comes ahead of English law which is influenced by, well, Englishmen! Under English law she would have been strung up again with no hesitation having been condemned to 'Hang by the neck until dead.' However Scots law states that once the condemned has been hanged they are declared dead in law, even if they survive. This result is seen as 'Gods will' and the survivor is allowed their liberty once more. In England you had to survive hanging three times before 'Gods will' is known! Such death, being death, also leads to the annulment of marriage, (Don't try this at home folks!) and no doubt many other legal niceties. This being the case, and her celebrity riding high, her husband reappeared and married her once again a short time later. (Girlies may now show some indication of their contempt for men!)

Naturally stories grow around such celebrities. Some say she had become a 'good friend' of the man who made the rope used for the hanging, although this sounds rather typical of the normal Edinburgh folks reaction to such a situation. Some Scots can develop a certain cynicism as the years pass by would you believe? Maggie continued to live, some say for another forty years and is reported to have been around in 1753. Her occupation is unclear, some say she sold salt around Edinburgh and others report the lass as running a tavern somewhere. However she filled her years she had a certain celebrity becoming known as 'Half hangit Maggie!'

How to be an Idiot No. 67

An excellent way to prove your idiot status is the misuse of the shopping talent.
The best example is to find yourself in a state of financial embarrassment then break the printer! A complete idiot first takes too long to replace the ink cartridge, then when that is done, notice the other cartridge is giving problems. With skill this can easily be turned into a right disaster. After vain attempts at electronic engineering, using pliers, screwdrivers, curses and an extremely heavy hand, the experienced idiot will soon be found sitting, head in hands, on the floor gurgling away and vowing to visit the man who developed computers for home use. This by the way would not be a 'social' visit.

As time passes and what little money is available drifts of into the debt pile the proper idiot will then decide a new printer is required. Whatever the financial situation, one must be procured as this machine is part of the finding employment and paying the debts. A trip around local merchants ensues. e.g Tesco and Argos. Tesco are selling a HP F4280 and one or two others for around £30. This looks good. However the idiot is no fool. Jumping in to obtain one of these machines may lead to more debt which cannot be afforded so maybe, just maybe a way to fix the other may be found.

Time passes. The Dole office assessment arrives and is passed. The dole office interview arrives and is, er, we wait and see, and wait, and wait.... eventually an answer. Several forms to fill out and join the waiting list! After this long delay they insist I must hurry as any delay may hinder employment! I consider just sending them a roll of red tape! However I fill in the forms, discover I must send copies of other forms and have no way of copying them as the printer is broken! After an idiot long delay I decide I must buy the cheap one I saw before. Off to Tesco I go, and of course the special price has long gone, as indeed have the printers. There are a couple available starting at around £58. I go home. I scour the Argos catalogue, and decide on the cheap 'Canon' all in one printer. Naturally while in Argos my eye is caught by an HP model which costs just under £50. Knowing HP I decide to go for it.

Here it is installed, working quite happily, copying my documents, which have now been posted safely, and while not as robust as the previous HP model, Chinese workmanship is not what it was, I am reasonably content, until this goes wrong. As pupil Idiots you will of course appreciate that I have paid £50 for the model I could have got for £30 a short while ago. And I wonder why I am now taking money out of the credit card so I can pay off the credit card?

This Sunday

Much of my day, when I was not wasting it doing nothing profitable, was spent it reading this book. So far it has been most enjoyable. Info on the early church development is worth reading. It takes us near the beginning and those who came immediately afterwards have a lot to tell us. That is when we can find them! Why did they not write down more I ask? How thoughtless of them. History is a fantastic subject.

Diverse Police

This is an ideal 'Daily Mail' story, this time involving the Scottish Police. You will recall that it is not that long ago that the new Commissioner (head man) of the London Metropolitan police stopped a police station flying a flag for the 'lesbian & Gay' mob. This following on from the Lothian and Borders Head office at Fettes in Edinburgh also flying such a flag. Today we have the announcement of a new booklet (costing £5000) telling the policeman on duty to be nice!
Various friendly terms for women are found everywhere, in Scotland they are usually addressed as 'hen.' In the north of England 'Pet,' or 'Love' might be used. This booklet informs officers not to use such terms to lassies, I suppose they may feel 'vulnerable' or perhaps 'patronised.' Any who object to such terms in fact should be referred to as 'stupid,' 'self obsessed,' or just 'bitch,' in my view, or at least according to my experience of such females. 'Get a life' is also useful when addressing them. I am left with an image of a bobby on the beat confronted by a drunken slapper cursing him and being sick on his shoes while he endeavours to find a word to address her by without upsetting her human rights. 'Slut' maybe? The Essex Police spent a great deal of money putting the slogan 'Taking the lead in making the county safer' on their vehicles. What do they really need apart from 'Police,' or maybe 'We know where you live!'? Police constables earn between £22 - 35,000 a year yet a 'Diversity and Ethnicity Officer' post ranged from £35- 40,000 a year. Shome mishtake shurely?

Today

Sympathy is in short supply here. I have been banned from commenting on my recent life threatening sickness. Several folks have gone out of their way to gently yell "We don't care,' or 'Shut up and die,' for reasons unknown to me. I can hardly speak as my voice croaks so much anyway. However I made it outside into the cold sunshine today. Once again I was amazed at the Englishman's inability to note the difference between warmth and cold. He notices the sun is shining, puts on the T-shirt (with "I'm with stupid" on the front) the sun glasses and in one case the shorts, and wanders out to find the sun is indeed shining, the sky is indeed blue, yet the temperature is freezing! However the Englishman wanders about not noticing this until the doctor informs his relatives it was pneumonia that finished him off.

This job hunting business is a laugh. I went for the job in the dole office months ago. Eventually I had an assessment. This led to an interview, much later. Nothing happened! The other day I received a reply informing me I am on the 'waiting list' and please fill out even more forms thanks. This is the second, and almost the third month of this. I have been told to just send them a roll of red tape! On top of this the paperwork is being done in Newcastle, the CRB form (to check for criminal convictions) is a 'Scottish' one and other requests are for details I have already given- I think. And you wonder why the civil service is considered slow?

However the electric folk are reducing my charges. I did not work out by how much, that is beyond my maths, but the gas folk put the price up by 70% or so, then generously reduced it much later, and in summer, by 32%. I suspect this will be similar, but not so generous. It is also Spring and the price will move up in October, as usual.

Good job I am not one to complain......

Footballs Intellectuals

'It was a game we should have won. We lost it because we thought we were going to win it. But then again, I thought that there was no way we were going to get a result there.' - Jack Charlton

'We keep kicking ourselves in the foot.' - Ray Wilkins

'I have a number of alternatives, and each one gives me something different.' - Glenn Hoddle

'Of the nine red cards this season we probably deserved half of them.' - Arsene Wenger

'It wasn't going to be our day on the night.' - Bryan Robson

'Very few of us have any idea whatsoever of what life is like living in a goldfish bowl,except, of course, for those of us who are goldfish.' - Graham Taylor

'If you can't stand the heat in the dressing room, get out of the kitchen.' - Terry Venables

'I took a whack on my left ankle, but something told me it was my right.' - Lee Hendrie

'I couldn't settle in Italy - it was like living in a foreign country.' - Ian Rush
Interviewer: 'Would it be fair to describe you as a volatile player?'
David Beckham: 'Well, I can play in the centre, on the right and occasionally on the left side.'

'If you're 0-0 down, there's no-one better to get you back on terms than Ian Wright.' - Robbie Earle

'Germany are a very difficult team to play...they had 11 internationals out there today.' - Steve Lomas

'I always used to put my right boot on first, and then obviously my right sock.' - Barry Venison

'I definitely want Brooklyn to be christened, but I don't know into what religion yet.' - David Beckham

'The Brazilians were South America, and the Ukranians will be more European.' - Phil Neville

'All that remains is for a few dots and commas to be crossed.' - Mitchell Thomas

'Alex Ferguson is the best manager I've ever had at this level. Well, he's the only manager I've actually had at this level. But he's the best manager I've ever had.' - David Beckham

'The opening ceremony was good, although I missed it.' - Graeme Le Saux

'One accusation you can't throw at me is that I've always done my best.' - Alan Shearer

'I'd rather play in front of a full house than an empty crowd.' - Johnny Giles

'Sometimes in football you have to score goals.' - Thierry Henry

'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.' - Mark Viduka

'He's put on weight and I've lost it, and vice versa.' - Ronnie Whelan

'If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day.' - Neville Southall

'We lost because we didn't win.' - Ronaldo

'I've had 14 bookings this season - 8 of which were my fault, but 7 of which were disputable.' - Paul Gascoigne

'I've never wanted to leave. I'm here for the rest of my life, and hopefully after that as well.' - Alan Shearer

'I'd like to play for an Italian club, like Barcelona.' - Mark Draper

'You've got to believe that you're going to win, and I believe we'll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we're knocked out.' - Peter Shilton

'I faxed a transfer request to the club at the beginning of the week, but let me state that I don't want to leave Leicester.' - Stan Collymore

'I was watching the Blackburn game on TV on Sunday when it flashed on the screen that George Ndah had scored in the first minute at Birmingham. My first reaction was to ring him up. Then I remembered he was out there playing.' - Ade Akinbiyi

'Without being too harsh on David Beckham, he cost us the match.' - Ian Wright

'It was a big relief off my shoulder.' - Paul Gascoigne

'I'm as happy as I can be - but I have been happier.' - Ugo Ehiogu

'It took a lot of bottle for Tony (Adams) to own up.' - Ian Wright

'Leeds is a great club and it's been my home for years, even though I live in Middlesbrough.' - Jonathan Woodgate

'I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel.' - Stuart Pearce

'My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7.'- David Beckham

'I was surprised, but I always say nothing surprises me in football.'- Les Ferdinand

'It was like the ref had a brand new yellow card and wanted to see if it worked.' - Richard Rufus

'There's no in between - you're either good or bad. We were in between.' - Gary Lineker

'Winning doesn't really matter as long as you win.' - Vinny Jones

'He's 31 this year: last year he was 30.' - David Coleman

'The ageless Dennis Wise, now in his thirties.' - Martin Tyler

'The Italians are hoping for an Italian victory.' David Coleman

'Peru score their third, and It's 3-1 to Scotland.' David Coleman

'If that had gone in, it would have been a goal.' - David Coleman

'Ian Rush is deadly 10 times out of 10, but that wasn't one of them.' - Peter Jones

'Neil Sullivan has stopped absolutely everything have thrown at him...Wimbledon 1, Manchester United 1.' - Mike Ingham

'Emile Zola has scored again for Chelsea.' - Radio 5 live

'This will be their 19th consecutive game without a win unless they can get an equaliser.' - Alan Green

'Martin O'Neill, standing, hands on hips, stroking his chin.'- Mike Ingham

'Such a positive move by Uruguay - bringing 2 players off and putting 2 players on.' - John Helm

'It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the scoreline on Saturday.'- Radio 5 live

'The Uruguayans are losing no time in making a meal around the referee.' - Mike Ingham

'Poland nil, England nil, though England are now looking the better value for their nil.' - Barry Davies

'West Germany's Briegel hasn't been able to get past anyone yet - that's his trademark.' - John Helm

'You don't score 64 goals in 86 games without being able to score goals.' - Alan Green

'It's headed away by John Clark, using his head.' - Derek Rae

'Celtic manager Davie Hay still has a fresh pair of legs up his sleeve.' - John Greig

'And with just 4 minutes gone, the score is already 0-0.' - Ian Darke

'The USA are a goal down, and if they don't get a goal they'll lose.'- John Helm

'I predicted in August that Celtic would reach the final. On the eve of that final I stand by that prediction.' - Archie MacPherson

'McCarthy shakes his head in agreement with the referee.' - Martin Tyler

'It was the game that put the Everton ship back on the road.' - Alan Green

'Lukic saved with his foot, which is all part of the goalkeeper's arm.' - Barry Davies

'Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer.' - David Acfield

'Sporting Lisbon in their green and white hoops, looking like a team of zebras.' - Peter Jones

'Forest have now lost six matches without winning.' - David Coleman

'When a player gets to 30, so does his body.' - Glen Hoddle

'I was a young lad when I was growing up.' - David O'Leary

'Home advantage gives you an advantage.' - Bobby Robson

'It's the only way we can lose, irrespective of the result.' - Graham Taylor

'We must have had 99% of the game. It was the other three per cent that cost us the match.' - Ruud Gullit

'The philosophy of a lot of European teams, even in home matches, is not to give a goal away.' - Alex Ferguson

'In a year's time, he's a year older.' - Bobby Robson

'The first 90 minutes are the most important.' - Bobby Robson

'Shearer could be at 100% fitness, but not peak fitness.' - Graham Taylor

'As I've said before and I've said it in the past...' - Kenny Dalglish

'He was a player that hasn't had to use his legs even when he was nineteen years of age because his first two yards were in his head.' - Glenn Hoddle

'I've seen them on television on a Sunday morning most days of the week.' - Jack Charlton

'People always remember the second half.' - Graham Taylor

'If they hadn't scored, we would've won.' - Howard Wilkinson

'Paolo Di Canio is capable of scoring the goal he scored.' - Bryan Robson

(I'm still sick!)

Deaths Door

Sniff, urfgh,drink water, aaaaaaaaagh, cough, hack, drink water, sleep, uuurrgh, sneeze, hot, drink water, cold, aaaaarrgh, sleep, throat, paracetamol, tissues, ooooooooooooooooooooh, drink water, headache, die, light, dark, sleep, sniffle, eat, drink water, sniff, cough, aaaaaaaaaaargh, all this water keeps me on the run anyway.........hot toddy, aaaahhhhh!

Man Flu

I hate the world!

I am cold.

I sniffle,
I shiver.

My throat hurts.

Nothing tastes.

I am uncomfortable.
Paracetamol is expensive.

My mind is dull.

Nothing satisfies.

Everyone hates me
(well that's not because of the cold of course!)

Nothing worth watching on telly.

I canny write poor posts even.

My knees hurt.

I'm broke.

I'm still cold!
Good job I'm not one to complain!

In Flanders Fields

Another Trevor Royle book about Scotland in the Great War and another success. 'In Flanders Fields' combines poetry and prose from the many Scots literary works of the war. Following a concise introduction there comes a short biography of the individual writers and examples of their work.
In my view one of the most remarkable was the Scots born and English educated Charles Hamilton Sorley. A brief reading of his poems and letters reveals a lively bright intellect, no hatred of the enemy, and a refreshing honesty concerning the war. This man had a tremendous future ahead of him. However already reaching the rank of Captain, Sorley was killed by a bullet through the head at Loos on 13th October 1915. A great loss I fear to his country.
He was twenty years old.

Charles Hamilton Sorley (1895-1915)

When You See Millions of the Mouthless Dead

When you see millions of the mouthless dead

Across your dreams in pale battalions go,

Say not soft things as other men have said,

That you'll remember. For you need not so.

Give them not praise. For, deaf, how should they know

It is not curses heaped on each gashed head?

Nor tears. Their blind eyes see not your tears flow.

Nor honour. It is easy to be dead.

Say only this, "They are dead." Then add thereto,

"Yet many a better one has died before."

Then, scanning all the o'ercrowded mass, should you

Perceive one face that you loved heretofore,

It is a spook. None wears the face you knew.

Great death has made all his for evermore.

Irish Poker

Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in O'Leary 's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses Euro 500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen brother, the other five continue playing standing up. Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, 'Oh, me boys, someone's got to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?'
They draw straws. Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. 'Discreet???
I'm the most discreet Irishmen you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me.' Gallagher goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door.
Mrs. Murphy answers, and asks what he wants. Gallagher declares,'Your husband just lost Euro 500, and is afraid to come home.'
'Tell him to drop dead!', says Murphy's wife.
'I'll go tell him.' says Gallagher.

BlogCatalog

I received this message today.

We wanted to remind you that your BlogCatalog Premium Membership expires today.

It then asks me to visit the site and donate!
What Premium Membership?
Since when had it a time scale?

I do not remember any mention of this ending.
Could it be this is just a way to make money? They are out of luck pal!
I have no money. So if this ends, it ends.
My feeble blogs will remain where they are and my $6 a month
will remain where it is, in fantasy land!

The Flowers of the Forest by Trevor Royle

With 'The Flowers of the Forest' Trevor Royle has given us one of those 'must have' books for those interested in the Great War and in particular Scotland's part therein. Here we have an authoritative, detailed, well researched study on Scotland's reaction the the conflict. But why did Scotsmen enlist so heartily in this conflict? Half the men in Scotland eligible for service enlisted , something that did not happen down south. Work was plentiful, especially in Glasgow's heavy industry, Scottish independence was as important a topic as 'Home Rule' was in Ireland, yet when the call came thousands responded It is true working conditions were poor, but they were the same everywhere else and trade unions and political parties were blossoming among the workers. Also housing conditions were often poor, especially in the cities, although rural areas were far from glorious. There seems no reason for the turn out, bar the military heritage and fighting spirit, for Scotland to answer the call the way they did.

Royle discusses the early optimism and gradual disillusionment, the trauma in Gallipoli, the Scots enduring the heat of Mesopotamia and the major battles in France. At Loos in 1915 some thirty thousand Scotsmen took the field. Half of the infantry battalions taking part were Scots! At sea also Scots were involved even if not there in person. The Glasgow shipyards did their 'bit' in creating the Royal Navy and supplied many ratings also. Glasgow was the centre of what became known as 'Red Clydeside.' John McLean and others offered a socialist way of life to the workers and frightened a Bolshevik revolution was about to happen Westminster stepped in with a heavy, and thoughtless, hand. In fact no such revolution was about to happen, those in the UK, then as now, want fair shares for all, not totalitarianism of any kind. The coming together did have results however. Landlords increased rents for the shabby housing, even for those who had lost men or nursed wounded soldiers at home. The following rent strike, led by the women, produced a change in the law even if the housing conditions never improved.

The effects of the war changed Scotland forever. False patriotism died,a desire to fight for better conditions grew as returning men found Lloyd Georges promise of 'Homes fit for hero's' to be false, and employment scarce. The depression followed, and while men died from the effects of gas & wounds during the next twenty years a desire for lasting change grew apace. The war did not just kill millions and sour lives, it brought massive social change to Scotland, and this found fruition after the second war. The benefits sought in 1918 arrived thirty years later and today's population do not realise the debt we owe those men.

Mothering Sunday

Do you have a mother? Most of us do I find. I will make so bold as to say few of us have never had a mother. Oh I know there are orphans and that sort of thing, I realise that disaster, Lottery wins and sheer bad luck can take the woman away from us but in short we have all had one at some time or other.

If you are one of those lucky enough to have kept yours hanging around somewhere you will acknowledge that such beings have a few good uses. You will acknowledge how well they iron clothes, make the dinner, cuddle you when you fall, and bring presents abounding at Christmas. The down side is their unnatural desire to clear all the important useful things in your room and hide them, often in the cupboard but just as likely in the dustbin! They will cheerfully chastise you for little things like bringing great lumps of mud into the house and hiding them under the bed, breaking the odd window or two, and worst of all refusing to get up for school! Slight sickness may well bring sympathy but it also brings 'Syrup of Figs,' 'Calamine Lotion,' and that horrid red stuff the doctor insisted on, he probably had a mother, but I doubt it! The bad things however all to often appear to have brought a strange gleam of delight into her eye, as if this was a pleasurable activity, just like the time you fell in the pond and got soaked through. She was really laughing quite hard under that frown wasn't she?Lovable as they are I am convinced there was a streak of criminality in them all.

Mothers are indeed one of the most important people in your life. A good mother can only leave a strong impression with a child, even if it does not create a good human being. Adolf Hitler for instance was beaten somewhat by his father and his mother was the one who protected him. He carried her picture with him everywhere, and it was on the shelf beside him when he died. Mothers however tend not to produce quite so many infamous people but I reckon they all had one at some time in the past. Attila the Hun, Mao Tse-Tung, Stalin were all influenced by Mummy. Alexander the Great, some say, received the Kingdom of Greece after his father Phillip was assassinated by a man employed by his mother. Unfortunately the chap was accidentally struck down by a stray sword himself before he could reveal this. Tsk! These mums eh?

Hopefully you will have a better memory of the mother than some of these folk, although a few did 'do well' for themselves. During your teenage years in spite of selfish indulgence she is all that keeps you from bankruptcy. The mere fact that she charges a minimal rent along with cooking, washing and generally running after you, deserves your attention and adulation. As a teenager this will not happen of course, but it does later on when your brats are playing up and she is constantly encouraging them, in your opinion, to misbehave! Then there comes an appreciation of what the woman went through when putting herself aside your wishes were first in her life. As you suffer the same for others an admiration for the lass who resisted the powerful temptation to strangle you on several occasions rises within.

The rip-off day known as 'Mothering Sunday,' or usually now called 'Mothers Day' goes back a long way. I don't recall it from my childhood, times were harder then, however by the 70's it had become quite common. Anything that creates an opportunity for the card manufacturers and flower sellers has to be taken I suppose. The day originates in the English (possibly Catholic) Church in days of yore. People would return to their 'Mother Church' for reasons not obvious to me, and for several hundred years this was found in the nations consciousness. Some say young servants were allowed home one day a year, Mothering Day, and often a gift was given by the employer flowers or cake etc. (Jolly good employer this!) Whether any of this is true I do not know but it certainly is not a Scots idea. There bosses would never give you a gift!

Today this has become a day to celebrate mothers and women in general if you are a feminist, to send Mum a big tin of sweets (and eat them yourself) or bottle of 'Magners' ( and share it) or flowers if you can afford the things these days. It is also a day Mum knows just what you think of her. The one card out of three leaves her wondering what she has done to two of her offspring. The boy she tended so lovingly in sickness and cared for in health who forgets her ought to be filled with guilt and shame. I suspect deep down he is, and will show it just as soon as the football is finished!

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world they used to say.

This is so true!

Missing him already?

'The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country.'
- George W. Bush

'If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.'
- George W. Bush

'One word sums up probably the responsibility of any Governor, and that one word is 'to be prepared'.'
-George W. Bush


'I have made good judgments in the past.
I have made good judgments in the future.'
- George W. Bush

'The future will be better tomorrow.'
- George W. Bush

'We're going to have the best educated American people in the world.'
- George W. Bush

'I stand by all the misstatements that I've made.'
- George W Bush

'We have a firm commitment to NATO,
we are a part of NATO.
We have a firm commitment to Europe .
We are a part of Europe '
- George W. Bush

'Public speaking is very easy.'
- George W. Bush

'A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.'
- George W. Bush

'I have opinions of my own -- strong opinions -- but I don't always agree with them.'
-George Bush

'We are ready for any unforeseen event
that may or may not occur.'
- George W. Bush

'For NASA, space is still a high priority.'
-George W. Bush

'Quite frankly, teachers are the only profession that teach our children.'
-George W. Bush

'It isn't pollution that's harming the environment.
It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it.'
- George W. Bush

Blackberry Juniper

It was as I passed the canal at Little Venice that dark night on my way to the Open University tutorial that I noticed her. She was leaning on the railings looking up into the dark sky and gently howling. I stopped. This was not the lass I had come to know at these 'Mid Victorian Britain' classes. There she had been perceptive and alert, so much so she was constantly being slapped down by the magisterial tutor for getting ahead of herself, or ahead of the rest of us at least! I wondered if the family might be the cause of this worrying incident, possibly he has been reading philosophy books to her again and boring her rigid, or maybe the kid has been throwing bricks through the school windows perhaps? However the truth was much milder and indeed understandable than this. Blackberry Juniper was just howling at the moon as she does during every lunar cycle. As you know women's magazines fill lassies head with the idea that the moon influences their moods. Actually it is not enough vegetables! However high above in the clear, cold, dark sky hung a large bluish moon, strewn with left over NASA debris sending out it's influence over the tides and pretty young girls everywhere. I also have attempted to influence girls and tides in similar fashion from time to time and my only reward has been wet feet and rude girls asking questions about my footwear.
"Are your shoes wet?"
"No, why?"
"There's a big drip standing in them."

Blackberry Juniper (don't ask) has a brain the size of a planet and this is matched with her humility. She forgot to inform me that she received the high scores that led to the BA, and later an MA! I was informed of her BA scores by another. Talent, humility, good looks and personality, what more does a woman need - money that's what! As I write I know the lass is struggling to keep awake and smile at the brain dead creatures who surround her in the dank dungeon her boss refers to as a 'hive of industry.' Leaving the Orcs behind for thirty minutes in the middle of the day BJ can be seen standing with her neck craned, staring up into the sky high above the concrete jungle that is London. All around citizens of this city are seen doing the same, desperately attempting to find daylight in the darkness of the megalopolis in which they are forced to dwell.
Back in the Dickensian world in which her crust is earned, BJ takes advantage of the lull in the slavery to continue writing the novel which, one day, will bring lasting fame and oodles of cash her way. The fear of continually being harassed by the media does not bother her, "I will be in my Island in the West Indies anyway!" As long as the money keeps coming and her servants keep bowing at her feet she will be content. In the meantime in the real world she keeps her man in order, in spite of his natural 'man like' mistakes. The most recent, answering her question honestly!
He was idly flipping through the TV channels looking for something that was not aimed at a four year old cretin when she asked, "What's on the TV?"
"Dust," he replied.
The doctor was required to retrieve the remote control from where she put it!

I just thought it right to mention this lovely woman, a friend of long standing, she has no chairs in the house, and one who has survived many days fraught with trouble and pain. A wise lass, when I suggested she run away from it all and marry me she said this could not happen for 'religious reasons.' I asked"Why?"
"Because you think you are god, and I don't," she replied.

Why can't more women be like Blackberry Juniper?

History Tour

It struck me quite forcibly yesterday that the areas we drive through, and sometimes across, have a long and indeed wealthy history. For instance we started by heading for Sudbury, after failing to complete parallel parking and reversing round a corner to any one's satisfaction, especially that ginger cats! With the sun shining, the sky blue, the engine swearing every time I chose the wrong gear we headed through the country roads populated only by retired gentlemen and white van drivers. Sudbury reflects the vast wealth that once made this area one of the most influential in England. The wealth came from wool! Whereas we tend to think of sheep, those white fluffy farm animals, as creatures who inhabit Scottish mountains and the English lake district, there was a time when this are was covered in them.

Before the sheep however there was Sudbury. It is on record as being mentioned as long ago as the year 799 when the bishop Aelfhun died there. Maybe he didn't like it? Edward III, one of those despotic English kings knew a thing or two about money and in the thirteen hundreds he imported a lot of Fleming's to weave the wool and develop trade. (That's Fleming's in folk from what is now Holland/Belgium, not some sort of rat like furry animal by the way) Wool's importance is shown in that the original 'woolsack,' sat upon by the Lord Speaker in the House of Lords contained Sudbury wool. Not a lot of people know that! Few care. Careering through the narrow crowded market with a thousand other vehicles takes the driver, who has no time to look, past portrait painter Thomas Gainsborough's house. I knocked once but he did not answer. He is of course famous for his portraits and it is said that when Mr & Mrs Andrews wanted their portrait painted he actually desired to paint a landscape. So he just stuck them to one side and filled the picture with their estate. Now a small market town bereft of sheep it remains in many American memories as RAF Sudbury was home to 834th Squadron (H), 486th Bomb Group (H), 8th Air Force during the second world war. Like the RAF the Yanks lost around 50,000 bomber crew during this conflict!

Swearing through the winding country route chosen for me, changing gear with every hill and speed limit that changed themselves within yards of one another I thought, we eventually dawdled through Long Melford at 29 miles an hour. Slow enough to avoid the dumper truck being unloaded in the town centre. Long Melford is a very long, and very wealthy, village that has stretched its way along this Roman road since even before the Romans decided to tread it. Made wealthy by the wool found in abundance here a thousand years ago the village boast two great manor houses, with their red brick walls very noticeable, and a huge fifteenth century church. You could not pull the wool over Suffolk folks heads in the old days. This area has been home to the ancient Britons, Angles, Saxons, Danes, Romanised Britons and the mongrel mob that now refers to itself as 'English.' Several thousand years of continual existence. From a forest covered land, through the middle ages and the sheep which brought wealth, nobles and abbots fighting for political power, the plague and the following 'Peasants Revolt' all passed through here, leaving a rich history and, in Suffolk, lots of cash still and that in spite of the credit crunch!

Free from manoeuvres I sped down the road back home, until we passed the 'community hall' car park. Forced by the evil instructor in there we practised reversing into a bay and bouncing of the pavement. I made out the word "Fail" escaping from his clenched teeth but was not to sure about the others. One more attempt on Friday, another on Monday and then the Test itself on Wednesday. Bishops Stortford does not know what it has let itself in for.