Social Networking

So a friend, who shall not be named, let's just call her 'Blackberry Juniper,' tells me I must join 'Facebook.' Obedient to the last, and knowing how evil women can be, I enlisted. Time passes and I still have no idea what this is all about! I have a garden which includes a bunny and a donkey! Gifts that appear to be no more than pictures, and am constantly bombards with 'notifications' that someone wants to talk to me on a 'wall.' First it was 'The Wall,' then the 'Super Wall,' or the 'Advanced Wall,' there is also a 'Graffiti Wall' and several others. Each notification uses a different way of communication, why? Just what is the point of these things? Can these folk not just e-mail like normal folks, or text like kids?

What is worse two folk from the past have turned up! Now as it happens these people are OK, although one speaks only in 'text speak' and therefore I have no idea what she is saying. Which may be a benefit of course! However the lass who started all this has gone quiet and has not responded to the many 'gifts' I have sent her, 'free' of course. I even sent her a present to put under her pagan and ungodly Christmas tree - yes I was forced to have one also! Well I need the presents don't I!

The other day a card arrived from up North in the land of constant wind, rain and these days, sleet! My sweet ten year old great niece, sweet to those who don' t know the brat, wrote the family Christmas cards. This is because her writing is better than her mothers and if she had not done it they would never be sent. her mother managed to send the cards in time a couple of years ago, and on enquiring how he done it met the reply, "They are from last year. I forgot to post them!" Right enough. Before that she had sent my expensive gift to my brother by mistake. I hope it fitted!

Anyway this trainee juvenile delinquent 'just happened' to mention her 'Bebo' address on the card. I understood she had obtained one of these by blackmailing her dad, but had not been informed of the address. Naturally I took the bait like any great uncle fearful of the consequences of not responding, and struggled to open a 'Bebo' account just to please the whelp. Naturally, after spending an evening tying to understand, and failing, how to set the thing up as I require, no trace of the brats account could be found. Either she has had it closed in the few days since writing the cards or it is an incorrect address.

Now I have two 'social networking' sites I could live without, clumps of hair lying around the chair, and some tell me these things are amongst the 'must haves' of today. I am off back to my 'The Might That Was Assyria' book, I find cuneiform tablets easier to understand. First person to say 'Peace' gets it!

Oh Dear

Here we go, chain mail!

Yes my friend at http://mulledvine.blogspot.com has done the dirty on....I mean extended his circle by including me in one of those 'Tag' things that live in the ether. This bothers me greatly, not that I mind this from him, but he wants me to pass this on to 'three friends!'. This is difficult, as I have none! I suppose I can dum...pass it onto one other, maybe two, but I hardly know them. Hmmmm, what to do?

Mind you, I was praying towards contacting friends from the distant past recently. Folk I have not been in touch with for years. It was time to put right wrongs, and reconnect I thought. Today I found the main man looking for me on 'Facebook!' Dearie me, Facebook has a use after all. Sooo pleased to see him I flung a sheep at him, as you do. Well I thought as he being Welsh it would remind him of home. Though how many sheep are found in Port Talbot remains to be seen i suspect. Prayer answered. What fun!

Anyway, this ra...man asks for seven things my readership (yes, this means both of you) do not know about me. However as none out there no anything about me this could be tricky. I mean do I tell the truth, slant it politician style, or just lie? Let us begin.....

1) I sit at my desk at the window on the first floor of my slum. I hide behind a plant which fills the window but fails to stop folks over the road think I am watching them. I would if these glasses let me see that far!
7) I once fed and watered a sweet young lass who worked for the 'Environment Department' of the local council. Next day my kitchen was closed down, by order!
3) I originated in the Western General Hospital in Edinburgh at nearly 3 O'clock in the morning. Mum got a row from the sister as she was told to hold me in till later. Jings!
5) I am useless at everything. I even failed the scouts tenderfoot stage - twice! DIY means call the fire brigade. I can't drive, I can't cook, I can't sing, although I can switch on the Radio 3 when I need to. I know nothing, but I am very good at putting my foot in it. I would like a job writing a short attention seeking column in a popular paper, I would upset enough folk to raise the sales.
2) I have studied history via the Open University for three years, receiving a '3' for each year and a request to find a change of subject from the last tutor. This study has been suspended by over work, when working, and poverty when not.
4) I have several dozen videos of programmes I have collected over the years. This was used to great benefit when desperate for something worth watching on telly. The VCR machine is bust!
6) Maths is not a strong point.

Now to find three folk who will hate me for ever..........

The Ominous Comma Very funny blog, a must read!
redfinger's forest deep Another good blog. I enjoy this one.

I love this also. Catpaw - diary of an angry cat

Now they will hate me forever! Thanks Mulled Vine.........

Facebook

Yes indeed Facebook, I have been dragged out of my isolation into this worldwide phenomena called Facebook. Like all normal males of a certain age I would of course ignore such flippancies. These fancy dan happenings belong to the 'young' generation, an organisation I no longer belong to. However a woman, as always Blackberry juniper, has 'invited' me to enroll. This I dutifully did, now I a struggling to work out how to make it work. So far this woman has sent me hugs, which I could not find, drink, I could not drink, and flowers and that have enlivened my garden. There are many other 'happenings' within Facebook but I really cannot work out how they work. The one I enjoyed most was the virtual bookshelf, much more my idea of fun!

But it must be asked, what is the point? Fun? OK I'm all for that, timewasting maybe, great for those at work, deepening friendships, yeah OK. But how do they make their money? Someone somewhere is earning a penny or two from this and it is not me. So how do they cash in? Go on, answer me. You don't know and neither do I. I bet that lassie does not know either. Typical. That you see is one of the many troubles with females, they get you into things and when it goes wrong, and it will, they blame you! Tsk!

And another thing, she complains I never mention her but do you think she will take her face away from her man to read this? No! Will she give Facebook and her enormous wide circle of friends a miss to reply? No! This is typical of a bird who wonders why men watch football and ignore them. We know what gives us a better answer! Which reminds me, the game will start soon, so I, like the meat in the fridge, I'm off!